I went out with a Thai woman (me 72, her 52) whose restaurant I sometimes eat in. A mutual friend said her husband was dying. I asked her daughter when we were alone and she confirmed that he was "not well". I asked her how long she's been single and she said 23 years. I have probed a couple of times. The daughter has clammed up

 

She sent me a video last night of her blowing kisses while sipping from a green coconut.  I'm up for some fun for me and some respite for her; I don't see this as turning into a relationship.

 

How to proceed ethically?

 

 

 

Bang dat granny.

34 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

ethically?

Ethically would have been to not take a married woman out to dinner. If you didn't know beforehand, that's fine. Just break it off until she's single again.

44 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

I went out with a Thai woman (me 72, her 52) whose restaurant I sometimes eat in. A mutual friend said her husband was dying. I asked her daughter when we were alone and she confirmed that he was "not well". I asked her how long she's been single and she said 23 years.

You're asking about the morality of having a relationship with a married woman who has an unwell husband, yet you said that you asked her daughter how long she, the daughter, has been single?  The married woman isn't single.  Don't you think that you need to clarify what you're talking about?

2 hours ago, Prubangboy said:

I went out with a Thai woman (me 72, her 52) whose restaurant I sometimes eat in. A mutual friend said her husband was dying. I asked her daughter when we were alone and she confirmed that he was "not well". I asked her how long she's been single and she said 23 years. I have probed a couple of times. The daughter has clammed up

 

She sent me a video last night of her blowing kisses while sipping from a green coconut.  I'm up for some fun for me and some respite for her; I don't see this as turning into a relationship.

 

How to proceed ethically?

 

 

 

Bang them both and give them 5000 baht

1 hour ago, Liverpool Lou said:

You're asking about the morality of having a relationship with a married woman who has an unwell husband, yet you said that you asked her daughter how long she, the daughter, has been single?  The married woman isn't single.  Don't you think that you need to clarify what you're talking about?

 

I'm pretty sure he was referring to the mother.

 

Plenty of people split up and don't bother getting divorced.

Why would he be asking how long the daughter has been single?

8 minutes ago, JayClay said:

Why would he be asking how long the daughter has been single?

Because she would probably be younger and more interesting. 😂

4 minutes ago, Gottfrid said:

Because she would probably be younger and more interesting. 😂

 

Sure. But there's no dilemma in dating a younger girl who's been single for 27 years, so there'd be no need for the thread at all.

I had runned a business in Thailand like a PI.We checked if the lady was married..had kids.. criminal record..still in the bar working there on daily bases even told bf she was staying home.My employees was bargirls who took the pics the customer wanted.These girls worked in Phuket.. Pattaya and Bangkok.We also provided screen shots of txtmsg between the girl and customers.About 90% of the ladies we checked was married..had kids..few with criminal record.Almost everybody never left the bar.Some received money from several sponsors.The case I never forget was a thailady who get her Schengen visa for 90 days.Went to her bf in his country.She didn't like the cold weather so she told him she wanted to go back to Thailand after 3-4 weeks.Actually she didn't go to Bangkok..she went to Germany and worked as a escort until her visa was ended So if u think ur gf is single with no kids..think again!!

2 hours ago, Prubangboy said:

I went out with a Thai woman (me 72, her 52) whose restaurant I sometimes eat in. A mutual friend said her husband was dying. I asked her daughter when we were alone and she confirmed that he was "not well". I asked her how long she's been single and she said 23 years. I have probed a couple of times. The daughter has clammed up

 

She sent me a video last night of her blowing kisses while sipping from a green coconut.  I'm up for some fun for me and some respite for her; I don't see this as turning into a relationship.

 

How to proceed ethically?

 

If marriage is off the table, then you're just dating.  A girl friend is just a girl friend.  A "Gik."  Thais understand those sorts of relationships.
However, as long as the husband is alive, you'll never marry her.  As long as you "don't see this as turning into a relationship," then just maintain a "Gik" relationship.  
 

22 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

Bang them both and give them 5000 baht

Gawd - Brutal!

2 hours ago, Prubangboy said:

I went out with a Thai woman (me 72, her 52) whose restaurant I sometimes eat in. A mutual friend said her husband was dying. I asked her daughter when we were alone and she confirmed that he was "not well". I asked her how long she's been single and she said 23 years. I have probed a couple of times. The daughter has clammed up

 

She sent me a video last night of her blowing kisses while sipping from a green coconut.  I'm up for some fun for me and some respite for her; I don't see this as turning into a relationship.

 

How to proceed ethically?

 

 

 

You said 'I have probed a couple of times.'

Is that the new term for getting your end away?🤔

13 hours ago, Prubangboy said:

How to proceed ethically?

 

If you were in the same position as that man, would it bother you to know that your wife was sleeping around? If not, then go for it. 

 

Personally, I would stay away and find someone else.

Remain in contact with her and wait until the husband passes.

 

There are boatloads of divorced 50 year old women out there in Thailand. 

 

i would stop contacting her, and come up with excuses if she contacted me for not meeting

2 hours ago, Trippy said:

Ethically would have been to not take a married woman out to dinner.

You never have dinner with your wife?

21 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

There are boatloads of divorced 50 year old women out there in Thailand. 

Have effed older women since I was 50 myself. Must me young to bang grannies.

3 hours ago, Prubangboy said:

How to proceed ethically?

 

With a condom and lubricant, you never know what infections she might have

1 hour ago, JayClay said:

Why would he be asking how long the daughter has been single?

Maybe for the same reason that he was seeing her mother?

Would proceed with caution.

The imminence of husband's demise may be being exaggerated. After all, aren't we all technically "dying"?

OP could next be asking about how to "hide from a husband."

1 hour ago, JayClay said:

Plenty of people split up and don't bother getting divorced.

What's the relevance?  No one in this OP had split up.

I’d ask the OP this — if the guy was fit and well, would you still carry on? Probably not, because you’d worry about what might happen to you.

 

Seems like the interest only kicked in once the husband became too sick to be in the picture. That alone probably tells you what you need to know.

If it doesn’t feel right when he’s well, it probably isn’t right when he’s not.

4 hours ago, Prubangboy said:

I went out with a Thai woman (me 72, her 52) whose restaurant I sometimes eat in. A mutual friend said her husband was dying. I asked her daughter when we were alone and she confirmed that he was "not well". I asked her how long she's been single and she said 23 years. I have probed a couple of times. The daughter has clammed up

 

She sent me a video last night of her blowing kisses while sipping from a green coconut.  I'm up for some fun for me and some respite for her; I don't see this as turning into a relationship.

 

How to proceed ethically?

 

 

 

How can she have a husband and be single for 23 years?

14 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

How can she have a husband and be single for 23 years?

 

Maybe he's really, really not well.  Like propped up in a rocking chair in the corner or buried under the house and she's been cashing his retirement checks for 23 years beyond his last mortal breath?

 

To many indeterminate pronouns in the OP.

2 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

Bang them both and give them 5000 baht

Not at all.

Make them pay you 5000baht

I asked the daughter how long her mother had been single. The answer: 23 years.

 

Then I asked about her father. She said: "not well". Then I felt a little bit non-confrontational, so I didn't press for a straight answer.

 

Someone who's 52 and had a lot of work done is a bit of a bonus for an old dog like me.

 

And while I fear the derision of playing the hi-so card, she does drive a Benz and dress in Chanel. When we went out, she knew where to get Yellowtail Belly, which you seldom see on a sashimi menu. Better than Toro Tuna, BTW.  We're going to a tempura-only restaurant tonight.

 

Anyway, She asked if the daughter could come along tonight. Since the daughter is sort of our interpreter, why not? 

 

 

1 hour ago, Liverpool Lou said:

Maybe for the same reason that he was seeing her mother?

 

Speculation. And unlikely at that. (edit: and as clarified by the OP, incorrect)

 

1 hour ago, Liverpool Lou said:

What's the relevance?  No one in this OP had split up.

 

Speculation. And grounded in far more solid logic than yours. (edit: and also at least partially correct, as per update from OP)

2 hours ago, JayClay said:

 

I'm pretty sure he was referring to the mother.

 

Plenty of people split up and don't bother getting divorced.

Why would he be asking how long the daughter has been single?

I thought he meant she had represented herself as single and he only found out she was married from a 3rd party (which was confirmed by the daughter)

4 minutes ago, jaywalker2 said:

I thought he meant she had represented herself as single and he only found out she was married from a 3rd party (which was confirmed by the daughter)

this is the correct interpretation.

 

To recap:

 

Restauarant owner was friendly. We went out for sushi. She seems Hi-So, but what do I know?

 

'Heard she was married with a dying spouse from another restaurant owner. Daughter confirmed that and then took it back. 

 

'Going out tonight with Mother and daughter with a very open mind.

 

Prob (can't say for sure) won't take my pants off without straight story from her.

1 hour ago, Peter Crow said:

You never have dinner with your wife?

Yes, but not someone else's wife. Would you want a strange man having dinner with your wife, without you knowing about it?

How close to death is acceptable? Hospice? Coma?