36 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

So what's your secret to make the girls stick around and not leave you? 

You do the laundry?

Or you make it fun?

My secret is not allowing them any direct access to my assets.

They hang around in order to get a share of my resources.

1 hour ago, TopGun10 said:

I'll reply to everything in one post, as Cloudflare is a bit annoying.

 

@Cameroni I agree with you to a certain extent. Women realise the men they are with aren't all that. That they really only wanted them for regular sex and other than that don't really have much in common other than the kids.

It's different for couples who are actually into each other. Then it's not about 'needing a man', but not ever wanting to lose their best friend and companion.

Whereas the types who really just wanted someone for sex and have only money to offer, it makes sense that the women would want to get away from them and have some freedom to actually experience life.

I see men writing about women only want providers and providers are the real men, Doh!

You can't fix stupid. 

Women and men get offers all the time. Some will take the deal. Others would not ever sell themselves and will only bond for love.

So certain types only experience a certain kind of relationship.

 

@BritManToo No, I think she should be free to be what she is supposed to be. Not confined by male fantasies. 

If they are free and choose to stay with you of their own volition. Then you have a strong bond. If your bond is just sex, money and kids, that can put a strain on things.

I can't imagine anyone staying with me, given a free choice.

That's why I coerce them with my pension.

If mine wants to leave me, she is free to try and earn her own living.

10 minutes ago, Hummin said:

That review of 18 studies also found that both married men and married women become more and more dissatisfied with their relationship over time. A study of covenant marriages found that women become dissatisfied with their marriages sooner than men do

 

This.

 

Over time, long time, it is inevitably more likely that you become dissatisfied with a relationshjip. 

 

We've just never had a time when we've lived this long. Being with the same man or woman for 80 years, that would be my own personal idea of hell. I don't blame these women. No person is that perfect, that fascinating, that interesting, that you want to be with them for 80 years.

 

Only the glue of financial necessity, social constraints, and religious beliefs held these long term marriages together for 40 or  50 years. Now those are all gone.

 

 

1 hour ago, Cameroni said:

But you really only find out after years, if she's a good partner.

 

that's what i have found to be true .   one thing i think you will find out ( being "only 54" )

is that as one gets older......priorities do change .   

 

2. Regarding the need to have (lots of money)  for women to have fun ....  no doubt that is true for SOME women.    I believe it is much more dependent on how interesting , adaptable, funny , and ...... mysterious a guy is.       Like Rumak .  😅     

Even so,  boredom is a fact of life .  Takes a lot more than sex to keep a relationship happy .  and as i said...... getting older does change ones priorities.  

 

and getting really old finally puts the pecker to rest ..... ( mostly) .   use it while its still strong

1 minute ago, rumak said:

 

that's what i have found to be true .   one thing i think you will find out ( being "only 54" )

is that as one gets older......priorities do change .   

 

2. Regarding the need to have (lots of money)  for women to have fun ....  no doubt that is true for SOME women.    I believe it is much more dependent on how interesting , adaptable, funny , and ...... mysterious a guy is.       Like Rumak .  😅     

Even so,  boredom is a fact of life .  Takes a lot more than sex to keep a relationship happy .  and as i said...... getting older does change ones priorities.  

 

and getting really old finally puts the pecker to rest ..... ( mostly) .   use it while its still strong

 

All those things are imporant of course, being interesting, funny, and so on, because of one reason onlyl - women cannot tolerate being bored. Anything which entertains them, even light drama, is good. The worst, I found, is to make things easy and dull for them, they can't stand it. They will seek out adventure.

 

Boredom is a fact of life, quite right, which is why it is up to the man to solve this problem for the woman, as we know they can't solve problems. Sheryl excepted of course, she's a national treasure.

Just now, Cameroni said:

 

All those things are imporant of course, being interesting, funny, and so on, because of one reason onlyl - women cannot tolerate being bored. Anything which entertains them, even light drama, is good. The worst, I found, is to make things easy and dull for them, they can't stand it. They will seek out adventure.

 

Boredom is a fact of life, quite right, which is why it is up to the man to solve this problem for the woman, as we know they can't solve problems. Sheryl excepted of course, she's a national treasure.

 

i so disagree with you on one part of that post that i can not comment .

 

but, that's why we all are different , i guess.

1 minute ago, rumak said:

 

i so disagree with you on one part of that post that i can not comment .

 

but, that's why we all are different , i guess.

 

What part?

18 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

This.

 

Over time, long time, it is inevitably more likely that you become dissatisfied with a relationshjip. 

 

We've just never had a time when we've lived this long. Being with the same man or woman for 80 years, that would be my own personal idea of hell. I don't blame these women. No person is that perfect, that fascinating, that interesting, that you want to be with them for 80 years.

 

Only the glue of financial necessity, social constraints, and religious beliefs held these long term marriages together for 40 or  50 years. Now those are all gone.

 

 

 

Common values and dependency is the glue for most successful partners, and also knowing the grass is not greener on the other side 😉

2 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

What part?

 

i can't get into it , sorry .  

 

i will say that my history is similar to yours.   I left my "ok" marriage because I also wanted better.   It was fairly long term, but in my fifties i was free again and enjoying similar escapades

to yours .     Sometime i think that i should have continued like that forever .  

 

but......... forever does die eventually.      and priorities change for each individual

5 minutes ago, Hummin said:

 

Common values and dependency is the glue for most successful partners, and also knowing the grass is not greener on the other side 😉

 

I don't disagree, but with both of you voting for Trump and her needing 8000 baht a month from you, in 50, 60, 70 years, you will both have tasted the bitter dark side of each other. And every human being has this dark, unpleasant side. Will voting for the same party, liking Hamburgers and 8000 baht suffice not to dislike each other in that time?

13 minutes ago, rumak said:

 

that's what i have found to be true .   one thing i think you will find out ( being "only 54" )

is that as one gets older......priorities do change .   

 

2. Regarding the need to have (lots of money)  

Even so,  boredom is a fact of life . 

 

There is some truths in priorities changes by age, for some

Money equals stability and predictability

Boredom is essential to grow and keep things interesting and not necessarily a negative thing

2 minutes ago, rumak said:

 

i can't get into it , sorry .  

 

i will say that my history is similar to yours.   I left my "ok" marriage because I also wanted better.   It was fairly long term, but in my fifties i was free again and enjoying similar escapades

to yours .     Sometime i think that i should have continued like that forever .  

 

but......... forever does die eventually.      and priorities change for each individual

 

I'm already tired of all the dating. I'm interviewing for a suitable candidate for a long term position now but I can't find suitable staff. 

 

Dating does get old.

1 minute ago, Cameroni said:

 

I don't disagree, but with of you voting for Trump and her needing 8000 baht a month from you, in 50, 60, 70 years, you will both have tasted the bitter dark side of each other. And every human being has this dark, unpleasant side. Will voting for the same party, liking Hamburgers and 8000 baht suffice not to dislike each other in that time?

 

You say what ?

 

who needs 8k a month? 

1 minute ago, Hummin said:

 

You say what ?

 

who needs 8k a month? 

 

Just as an example, cause you said dependency.. Is her financial dependency greater than that?

9 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Just as an example, cause you said dependency.. Is her financial dependency greater than that?

We are married, and that’s what most men and women must understand when married it is not only one way dependency, it is both parts who contributes within reasonable limits, which can differ from marriage to marriage. If one part feels unsatisfied, then there is an unbalance or wrong expectation from one or both parts. 

 

We are well established with a small farm as told many times, what almost covers all living cost for our part of the family where her parents also contributes. Living costs means all expenses for land, animals and people who are connected to our inner circle. 

 

But it will never pay down my investments before we one day eventually sell, or I calculate a rent pr year, and happy with that. 

 

After 10 years I will reach zero if calculated rent for living somewhere else with good standard, but still I have a partner, who clean and cook and everything ese that comes with it 

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

We are married, and that’s what most men and women must understand when married it is not only one way dependency, it is both parts who contributes within reasonable limits, which can differ from marriage to marriage. If one part feels unsatisfied, then there is an unbalance or wrong expectation from one or both parts. 

 

We are well established with a small farm as told many times, what almost covers all living cost for our part of the family where her parents also contributes. Living costs means all expenses for land, animals and people who are connected to our inner circle. 

 

But it will never pay down my investments before we one day eventually sell, or I calculate a rent pr year, and happy with that. 

 

After 10 years I will reach zero if calculated rent for living somewhere else with good standard, but still I have a partner, who clean and cook and everything ese that comes with it 

 

It was just an example, it doesn't really matter how large the dependency on each other is. The question is will it be enough to counteract 50, 60, 70, 80, years of seeing all the imperfections and the dark sides of a particular human being?

 

 

On the flip side it seems a lot of Gen Z girls are hooking up with older men.

 

2 minutes ago, jvs said:

On the flip side it seems a lot of Gen Z girls are hooking up with older men.

 

 

Yes, it's the invisible hand of dating economics, as 50 year old men are left by their spouses, turns out 25 year olds are happy to date them.

 

 

9 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

It was just an example, it doesn't really matter how large the dependency on each other is. The question is will it be enough to counteract 50, 60, 70, 80, years of seeing all the imperfections and the dark sides of a particular human being?

 

 

 

Again you are projecting what I will see or look at my wife’s imperfections and dark side if they exists or not. You got a very negative view on potential future partners, and forget to take a good look at yourselfs dark sides and imperfections. 

 

Mature together against all flaws and imperfections is something that is necessary to outlive all negative predictions. 

 

Maybe you haven’t reached rock bottom yet in life once, so you do not know what you really appreciate yet in life. It takes a humble, or humbled person to know your own limitations and also learn how to truly appreciate life, and all its downsides and obstacles as well the simple few small things in daily life that most do not reckoning or appreciate on daily basis. 

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

 

Again you are projecting I will see or look at my wife’s imperfections and dark side if they exists or not. You got a very negative view on potential future partners, and forget to take a good look at yourself dark sides and imperfections. 

 

Mature together against all flaws and imperfections is something that is necessary to outlive all negative predictions. 

 

Maybe you haven’t reached rock bottom yet in life once, so you do not know what you really appreciate yet in life. It takes a humble person to know your own limitations and also learn how to truly appreciate live, and all its downsides and obstacles as well the simple few small things in daily life that most do not reckoning on daily basis. 

 

You did not understand what I was saying, I meant both parties dark sides, not just hers. Even if you were to overlook her bad sides, her body wilting and no longer be alluring sexually, which probably won't be the case most likely you'll change your behaviour towards her, but let's say you did overlook all that, how do you know she would do likewise? You think you don't have dark sides that she doesn't like? Over a long period of time, these can get magnified and by themselves be reason to leave for man or woman.

 

 

Just now, Cameroni said:

 

You did not understand what I was saying, I meant both parties dark sides, not just hers. Even if you were to overlook her bad sides, her body wilting and no longer be alluring sexually, which probably won't be the case most likely you'll change your behaviour towards her, but let's say you did overlook all that, how do you she would do likewise? You think you don't have dark sides that she doesn't like? Over a long period of time, these can get magnified and by themselves by reason to leave for man or woman.

 

 

 

Again you look at it physically only, and honestly most men who passed 40, are not a candy anymore, and very few looks like Richard Gere or Tom cruise in to their 60ies, so ? Knowing your own limitations helps a lot to still manage to cultivate love for your best friend and partner. 

 

I know and understand most do not cultivate each other in relationships and seems many have more to complain about each other than what they praise each other for. 

 

Like I said many times it takes work and passion to continue to go to gym, keep your mental health, and also relationships within family. Nothing comes for free, it takes work and effort. 

 

Is it enough to plant seeds in the garden and just leave it as it is and it will suddenly produce everything you thought it would be like the pics on the bag when you bought the seeds? 

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Again you look at it physically only

 

No, dude, I'm not in the slightest looking at it purely from the physical, I said dark sides generally, remember? I just gave a typical example, and women no longer being attractive or no longer wishing to have sex is a typical example. There are many other examples of dark sides, dislikeable traits, things the other may not like.. That's just one of many.

 

Yes, it takes a lot of work, but will it really be enough if you stay together 40, 50, 60 years?

 

 

3 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

No, dude, I'm not in the slightest looking at it purely from the physical, I said dark sides generally, remember? I just gave a typical example, and women no longer being attractive or no longer wishing to have sex is a typical example. There are many other examples of dark sides, dislikeable traits, things the other may not like.. That's just one of many.

 

Yes, it takes a lot of work, but will it really be enough if you stay together 40, 50, 60 years?

 

 

There is many reasons why not to have sex, or odd behaviours, so again back to the drawing board and figure out why, if not manageable then leave before it is to late. 

 

If its is hormones, there is solutions,

 

 

26 minutes ago, Hummin said:

 

Again you look at it physically only, and honestly most men who passed 40, are not a candy anymore, and very few looks like Richard Gere or Tom cruise in to their 60ies, so ? Knowing your own limitations helps a lot to still manage to cultivate love for your best friend and partner. 

 

I know and understand most do not cultivate each other in relationships and seems many have more to complain about each other than what they praise each other for. 

 

Like I said many times it takes work and passion to continue to go to gym, keep your mental health, and also relationships within family. Nothing comes for free, it takes work and effort. 

 

Is it enough to plant seeds in the garden and just leave it as it is and it will suddenly produce everything you thought it would be like the pics on the bag when you bought the seeds? 

Exactly. The more a man looks at a woman as a partner and less an object, the more he sees what's she's really made of, and growing old together is a good thing. Everyone gets humbled at some point. I know that no matter how much you've worked out, you'll fall apart like everyone else, although a bit slower. The longer you're with someone, the closer you should get, as long as the things that were important stay that way, and it's not looks. When you see two holding hands in their 90's, you know they had what was right in their relationship. When you really love someone, you see them age, but they're still the same person as before. Sadly I didn't have that for long with the two I married and had children with, so hopefully I'll find it when I return home, as I know there are many good women that still want a decent man, especially if they didn't have one before.

7 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

No, dude, I'm not in the slightest looking at it purely from the physical, I said dark sides generally, remember? I just gave a typical example, and women no longer being attractive or no longer wishing to have sex is a typical example. There are many other examples of dark sides, dislikeable traits, things the other may not like.. That's just one of many.

 

Yes, it takes a lot of work, but will it really be enough if you stay together 40, 50, 60 years?

 

 

Everyone has a dark side, but much of it is easily handled by a partner if they know their idiosyncrasies. Everyone loses attractiveness, especially after 50, and sex isn't as important as a real partnership when you're into your 60's and above. People who love each other will always have sex if they're close. Just not as much as before. If you stay together for 30,40,50 years and there's no cheating, abuse or neglect, then you've found the best thing in life. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship, as it leads to everything else. 

13 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

He's very likeable.

 

This is the same guy "who never pays"? 

 

11 hours ago, Hummin said:

 

You say what ?

 

who needs 8k a month? 

 

8k sounds like a bargain

 

11 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Everyone has a dark side, but much of it is easily handled by a partner if they know their idiosyncrasies. Everyone loses attractiveness, especially after 50, and sex isn't as important as a real partnership when you're into your 60's and above. People who love each other will always have sex if they're close. Just not as much as before. If you stay together for 30,40,50 years and there's no cheating, abuse or neglect, then you've found the best thing in life. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship, as it leads to everything else. 

 

Easily handled? Over 40, 50, 60, 80 years? The same ugly, annoying, dislikeable things, over and over again?

 

And she won't always have sex. She may lose her libido in old age, more than the man.

53 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

I'm already tired of all the dating. I'm interviewing for a suitable candidate for a long term position now but I can't find suitable staff. 

 

Dating does get old.

 

I know you have probably posted before...... but what are you looking for in your "suitable condidate"  ?       

 

just one opinion (from my experience) .    the high standard that you put on unbelievably sexy ( my words) ..... is like a Hollywood movie .    Reality is that  sexual attraction is a limited experience ,  no matter how many costumes you have 😄.   I believe it is even a biological fact.

 

For highly stimulalated males..... the next great bedroom fantasy is NOT  with the current model .    Even beautiful movie stars know this is a fact of life (male and female)  

 

Maybe "open relationships"  is the way to go ?     ( jealousy usually does those in as well )

Just now, Cameroni said:

 

Easily handled? Over 40, 50, 60, 80 years? The same ugly, annoying, dislikeable things, over and over again?

 

And she won't always have sex. She may lose her libido in old age, more than the man.

Why would they have ugly or annoying things that a partner can't handle? Everyone has their own weird ways, but most are easily accepted by a loving partner. Things that aren't are abuse, neglect or cheating. Most anything else is a joke. Everyone loses their sex desires, eventually, but if one does first, the other will usually be willing if they've been treated well through the years. When you hit 60+ you'll see. The older you get, the more things go south, and nothing can stop them. Having a partner 10 years or so younger can help some men, but some don't care as the other things are much more important as you age.