If men were honest about what they want from women, the conversation would be much shorter. For most men, the vast majority of the desire is sexual. Call it eighty percent. Sometimes more. The remaining twenty percent exists, but it is secondary, variable, and often unclear even to the people involved.

The problem is not that men want more than sex. The problem is that accessing sex conventionally is usually tied to a long list of additional requirements. Emotional labour. Time commitments. Behavioural expectations. Lifestyle adjustments. All of that effort is spent chasing a small remaining portion that is difficult to define and even harder to satisfy consistently, especially when navigating unfamiliar cultures and expectations.

In places like Thailand, where interactions between men and women are often more direct and less disguised, this contrast becomes easier to see. From a purely logical standpoint, it makes very little sense. If eighty percent of the need is physical, then solving that need directly is not immoral, lazy, or broken. It is efficient. It is accurate. It aligns action with reality instead of pretending that desire works differently than it does.

Choosing to pay for just the part you actually want is not opting out of life or doing something wrong. It is making a clear transaction instead of an open ended negotiation. In most other areas of life, that would be called prudent decision making by asserting critical thinking skills, not failure.

Sometimes the mistake is not choosing what works. The mistake is refusing to admit why that choice makes sense.

What you propose is based on your figure of 80%.

Where did that number come from? Based on my own observations, while people want sex, many want some form of friendship, companionship, or non-sexual closeness, even more. When they can't get that, they 'often' sublimate the feeling with pay-for-play. Are they buying 'sex,' or are they buying a temporary 'friend?'

(I suppose this will bring on several downturned thumbs from those who have to regularly pay for their sex.)

78% (so roughly 80%) of all humans' perception of the world is visual. Men's brains are wired for sexual arousal based on visual. Let's be honest about that, then we can move forward.

1 hour ago, FolkGuitar said:

Are they buying 'sex,' or are they buying a temporary 'friend?'

Both, or either.

There's actually a bar called "The Friendship Bar".

Men spend more time in those bars than in the bedroom.

It seems 80% rent-a-friend and 20% rent-a-fu**, give or take.

It's like dating, minus the commitment and minus the in-laws.

For some men, me included, there needs to be some genuine intimacy and an emotional connection for that 80% sex portion to be fulfilling.

The 20% fuels that connection.

I agree about the visual factor, which is why I chose a partner who is hot🔥

And being younger than me, she'll still look hot to me as we age together.

So short time is not the only option to satisfy that 80% itch.

3 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

For some men, me included, there needs to be some genuine intimacy and an emotional connection for that 80% sex portion to be fulfilling.

works both ways.

women in the sex trade also get jaded having sex with no emotional connection.

it's mostly mechanical non-feeling sex.

maybe some exceptions?

some hard-core barflies might tell a different story.

3 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

If men were honest about what they want from women, the conversation would be much shorter

There's another thread on here where that would be very welcome.

4 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

The remaining twenty percent exists, but it is secondary, variable, and often unclear even to the people involved.

That 20% is about replacing their mother.

1 hour ago, save the frogs said:

works both ways.

women in the sex trade also get jaded having sex with no emotional connection.

it's mostly mechanical non-feeling sex.

maybe some exceptions?

some hard-core barflies might tell a different story.

Most women don't appear to have any 'emotional connections' to their male partners, and the sex (on their part) is always mechanical. Unless you consider their emotional connection is hate.

The Thai ladies are just more honest than our home country women.

3 hours ago, HappyExpat57 said:

78% (so roughly 80%) of all humans' perception of the world is visual. Men's brains are wired for sexual arousal based on visual. Let's be honest about that, then we can move forward.

... which explains why human females have enlarged breasts even when NOT feeding babies.

They are the 'first attraction,' before men get a chance to be attracted to their personality and intelligence.

All other female mammals' mammary glands are not seen except when pregnant or feeding babies.

We've all seen female dogs before and after whelping. Before... flat chests. After... well, we've all seen it. We see milk cows with full udders, but only if they've calved!

I get a kick out of women who believe that their big boobs are for feeding. They might do that just 2-3 times in their entire lives, while their breasts are larger ALL THE TIME.

33 minutes ago, FolkGuitar said:

while their breasts are larger ALL THE TIME.

not in thailand

35 minutes ago, FolkGuitar said:

... which explains why human females have enlarged breasts even when NOT feeding babies.

They are the 'first attraction,' before men get a chance to be attracted to their personality and intelligence.

All other female mammals' mammary glands are not seen except when pregnant or feeding babies.

We've all seen female dogs before and after whelping. Before... flat chests. After... well, we've all seen it. We see milk cows with full udders, but only if they've calved!

I get a kick out of women who believe that their big boobs are for feeding. They might do that just 2-3 times in their entire lives, while their breasts are larger ALL THE TIME.

1 minute ago, papa al said:

not in thailand

You're right.
I should have said, 'more pronounced.'

One of those overcomplicating threads.

Putting a few banknotes into a slot to masturbate with a real vagina just gets me off.

While I enjoy a great emotional and physical relationship with my beloved wife. So am I in the 80% or the 20%?

Every man is different and I think that 80% figure is a bit exaggerated, sure we're all attracted to women on a certain level, but sex is only one aspect of it, especially as we get older the companionship aspect becomes far more important.

One of the profound differences between here and women in the Western world is that when it comes to sex women here are infinitely more honest, especially the professionals, where the prices is stated up front, and you more or less know what you're getting for that price.

In the West a woman will refuse to give you a specific number even though there's always a number involved, when it comes to dating is it 3 dates, or is it 8 dates?

Is it $500 worth of dinners, is it $2,000 worth of dinners, gifts and prizes?

No man ever knows what the actual number is when you start dating a woman in the West.

And that's a real issue, that's a huge downside for most guys back there is lonelyland.

The other irony back there is that women tend to like to dress sexy and wear revealing clothes, however sex is very rarely on the table unless the woman is under 23 years of age.

19 hours ago, papa al said:

not in thailand

You've not seen my Missus. No silicone but a perfect set of Sydney Sweeney's.

On 1/23/2026 at 8:30 AM, SoCal1990 said:

I wish the females sending me likes on ThaiFriendly would be the ones who look like this one.

1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

Is it $500 worth of dinners, is it $2,000 worth of dinners, gifts and prizes?

This crackpot wrote a book on the ROI on the pursuit of women.

As my drunken Dad put it:

If they didn't have a _________, there would be a bounty on them.

Poor parenting on his part, but def a helpful cut to the chase.

On 1/23/2026 at 12:41 PM, BritManToo said:

Most women don't appear to have any 'emotional connections' to their male partners, and the sex (on their part) is always mechanical. Unless you consider their emotional connection is hate.

The Thai ladies are just more honest than our home country women.

You've not met the right one yet.

4 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

You've not met the right one yet.

His biological clock is ticking tho ...

Men give love to get sex and women give sex to get love.

On 1/23/2026 at 8:14 AM, SoCal1990 said:

If men were honest about what they want from women, the conversation would be much shorter. For most men, the vast majority of the desire is sexual. Call it eighty percent. Sometimes more. The remaining twenty percent exists, but it is secondary, variable, and often unclear even to the people involved.

The problem is not that men want more than sex. The problem is that accessing sex conventionally is usually tied to a long list of additional requirements. Emotional labour. Time commitments. Behavioural expectations. Lifestyle adjustments. All of that effort is spent chasing a small remaining portion that is difficult to define and even harder to satisfy consistently, especially when navigating unfamiliar cultures and expectations.

In places like Thailand, where interactions between men and women are often more direct and less disguised, this contrast becomes easier to see. From a purely logical standpoint, it makes very little sense. If eighty percent of the need is physical, then solving that need directly is not immoral, lazy, or broken. It is efficient. It is accurate. It aligns action with reality instead of pretending that desire works differently than it does.

Choosing to pay for just the part you actually want is not opting out of life or doing something wrong. It is making a clear transaction instead of an open ended negotiation. In most other areas of life, that would be called prudent decision making by asserting critical thinking skills, not failure.

Sometimes the mistake is not choosing what works. The mistake is refusing to admit why that choice makes sense.

what a load of bs lol