The magic word is moderation

I enjoy a few beers in the evening after my daily walking exercise plus

Watching Premiership football live at the weekends

Late 70s now

Just enjoy the years i have left

If you decide to quit alcohol, it will be because the voice in your head commands you to do it. The hangovers are in your head. The brain fog is in your head. The guilt is in your head, etc.

I stopped and restarted a few times because my commitment level was not 100%. I could always rationalize drinking somehow. It's a rainy day...It's a cloudy day...It's a hot day....

When I finally and truly said, "Enough," believe it or not it got much easier. I followed a program and havent had a drink in 10 years now. It is one of the best decisions I have ever made and trust me, just like all the other sober people out there, I thought I'd have to "give up" so much. I gained so much more.

If you decide to quit, my one piece of advice is to follow a guide, program, book, etc. That was a game changer for me. Willpower alone rarely works. Addiction overpowers willpower routinely.

2 minutes ago, SeeAyOh said:

If you decide to quit alcohol, it will be because the voice in your head commands you to do it. The hangovers are in your head. The brain fog is in your head. The guilt is in your head, etc.

I stopped and restarted a few times because my commitment level was not 100%. I could always rationalize drinking somehow. It's a rainy day...It's a cloudy day...It's a hot day....

When I finally and truly said, "Enough," believe it or not it got much easier. I followed a program and havent had a drink in 10 years now. It is one of the best decisions I have ever made and trust me, just like all the other sober people out there, I thought I'd have to "give up" so much. I gained so much more.

If you decide to quit, my one piece of advice is to follow a guide, program, book, etc. That was a game changer for me. Willpower alone rarely works. Addiction overpowers willpower routinely.

Do you have other hobbies to replace it with?

37 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I was into wine much the same as you, collecting and studying it. I wish I could have, and still can, visit some European wineries, as Europe is still in my bucket list. Especially the Mosel and Rhine in Germany, and a few in France. I've only been to a few in Texas and New Jersey. Texas has come a long way in making wine. I once had over 750 bottles but by the time I moved here, almost all had been enjoyed by myself and a few wine lovers. I once shared a 1953 Chateau Latour with my oldest friend in a Chinese restaurant, along with a 1970 Lafite at another time. They are likely my favorite reds, along with a good Californian Cabernet.

You are fortunate to have been able to taste Châteaux Latour and Lafite (especially the 1970 vintage) and in my younger days I collected mostly French wines and built cellars in my houses in the UK and NZ to house my collections, but then I decided to branch out and taste wines from other areas and one thing that made me do that was that I acquired a case of Robert Mondavi 1984 Cabernet Sauvignon reserve and found it to be delightful.

Probably the highlight of my wine "experience" was a visit to meet the owner of Château Lynch Bages (Jean-Michel Cazes) and experience a private wine tasting with him and my French importer of wines into NZ amongst a couple of others, and they were delightful and to top the lot off, we were treated to lunch at their Michelin star restaurant Cordeillan Bages and were able to taste some of their fine wines – – overall an enchanting experience.

The wine I mentioned in my previous post, made from the Petite Sirah/Durif grape is called "Authentic Black" by Gnarly Head wines from Lodi, which as I said previously is currently my favourite red wine.

PS. I forgot to mention that whilst we were there Jean-Michel wanted our opinion on a new range of wines he was considering launching, so we had a private wine tasting of the new range which also included wines from Italy would you believe!! Good to know that he valued our opinion.

2 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

Do you have other hobbies to replace it with?

This is one reason why I suggest a program or similar.

Without getting too technical or sounding preachy, part of the process of eliminating an addiction is not only ceasing the bad habit but creating new habits.

A popular excuse people have to keep drinking (I had it too) was, "now what am I going to do?" It's a legit question. One of the first things I noticed when I stopped drinking was how much free time I now had. I didnt even know how to fill up the time.

I learned in my program that a). it's OK to be bored every now and then and b) the only reason I am bored is because I choose to be. I had to relearn how to have fun. It's a big world out there. You'll find stuff to do if you give yourself the chance. For me, one of the first "goals" I achieved was to read the entire A Song of Ice and Fire series by GRRM. Boozy me was never able to finish a chapter and remember much. Sober me loved it. You will be very pleasantly surprised.

Not once---ever---did I wake up in the AM and say, "Gee I wish I drank a lot more last night." It was always the opposite.

1 minute ago, xylophone said:

You are fortunate to have been able to taste Châteaux Latour and Lafite (especially the 1970 vintage) and in my younger days I collected mostly French wines and built cellars in my houses in the UK and NZ to house my collections, but then I decided to branch out and taste wines from other areas and one thing that made me do that was that I acquired a case of Robert Mondavi 1984 Cabernet Sauvignon reserve and found it to be delightful.

Probably the highlight of my wine "experience" was a visit to meet the owner of Château Lynch Bages (Jean-Michel Cazes) and experience a private wine tasting with him and my French importer of wines into NZ amongst a couple of others, and they were delightful and to top the lot off, we were treated to lunch at their Michelin star restaurant Cordeillan Bages and were able to taste some of their fine wines – – overall an enchanting experience.

The wine I mentioned in my previous post, made from the Petite Sirah/Durif grape is called "Authentic Black" by Gnarly Head wines from Lodi, which as I said previously is currently my favourite red wine.

PS. I forgot to mention that whilst we were there Jean-Michel wanted our opinion on a new range of wines he was considering launching, so we had a private wine tasting of the new range which also included wines from Italy would you believe!! Good to know that he valued our opinion.

I've had quite a few Mondavi's, especially the Cabernet. I've always dreamed of visiting the wineries of Europe and raising kids for over 38 years haven't yet been able, but it's still coming.

Growing up in the NYC area, which has extensive wine stores, I had the chance to taste some of the best available, but actually seeing where they come from is still a missing adventure.

Italy is also on the bucket list, for the food, scenery and wine.

My favorite whites are Chardonnays and Riesling. The German Trockenbeerenauslese were some a good, now passed friend and I tried when fishing in New Jersey. Unbelievably sweet desert wines.

Bernkasteler Doktor and Wehlener Sonnenuhr two top wineries I'd like to visit to see where wines I loved were from. There have been countless good wines out since those days back in Texas and New Jersey I've missed, as I didn't have a drinking partner after I moved here. I also liked Merlot, Petite Syrah, Pinot Noir and Zinfandels, especially the late harvest ones.Making me think just talking about them.

1 minute ago, SeeAyOh said:

This is one reason why I suggest a program or similar.

Without getting too technical or sounding preachy, part of the process of eliminating an addiction is not only ceasing the bad habit but creating new habits.

A popular excuse people have to keep drinking (I had it too) was, "now what am I going to do?" It's a legit question. One of the first things I noticed when I stopped drinking was how much free time I now had. I didnt even know how to fill up the time.

I learned in my program that a). it's OK to be bored every now and then and b) the only reason I am bored is because I choose to be. I had to relearn how to have fun. It's a big world out there. You'll find stuff to do if you give yourself the chance. For me, one of the first "goals" I achieved was to read the entire A Song of Ice and Fire series by GRRM. Boozy me was never able to finish a chapter and remember much. Sober me loved it. You will be very pleasantly surprised.

Not once---ever---did I wake up in the AM and say, "Gee I wish I drank a lot more last night." It was always the opposite.

I gave up gambling and had loads of free time. But it didnt make me more happy. I bought 20 books and only read half.

1 minute ago, Harrisfan said:

I gave up gambling and had loads of free time. But it didnt make me more happy. I bought 20 books and only read half.

Having free time is not the same thing as using the free time well.

Back to the program, ha, one idea it suggests is to think about what you enjoyed about the addiction. It's OK to consider it. So maybe for you with gambling, it was the thrill of the win that you enjoyed at first.

Next is to find another activity that can give you that same thrill. Can you play chess? Enter a chess tournament, for example. Now you can get (maybe) get the same thrill. What about an athletic endeavor? Etc. There are lots of ways.

I did not use AA but one idea they stress is to practice gratitude. "I might not be in the best mood, but at least I am not hungover...."

6 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

Have you done it or tried it? I stopped for 1 to 2 months a few times. Got a bit bored. Going whole fitness thing really isnt that exciting. Seems normal to drink.

"Seems normal to drink"

Well there you go then.

But you might consider that anything a person does habitually will eventually seem normal.

4 minutes ago, SeeAyOh said:

Having free time is not the same thing as using the free time well.

Back to the program, ha, one idea it suggests is to think about what you enjoyed about the addiction. It's OK to consider it. So maybe for you with gambling, it was the thrill of the win that you enjoyed at first.

Next is to find another activity that can give you that same thrill. Can you play chess? Enter a chess tournament, for example. Now you can get (maybe) get the same thrill. What about an athletic endeavor? Etc. There are lots of ways.

I did not use AA but one idea they stress is to practice gratitude. "I might not be in the best mood, but at least I am not hungover...."

I developed a statistics based horse racing system. I enjoyed the science of it. The average horse is 8 feet. The last 200m is the 2nd slowest of the race. For distance events last 600m weighted at 50% combined with overall time worked. The program worked ok but was very time consuming. Two days I picked 5 winners in a row. One day 9 winners from 15 selections. But it stopped working and took up so much time I gave up. I think you need 3 or 4 guys to do it.

1 hour ago, fredwiggy said:

I was into wine much the same as you, collecting and studying it. I wish I could have, and still can, visit some European wineries, as Europe is still in my bucket list. Especially the Mosel and Rhine in Germany, and a few in France. I've only been to a few in Texas and New Jersey. Texas has come a long way in making wine. I once had over 750 bottles but by the time I moved here, almost all had been enjoyed by myself and a few wine lovers. I once shared a 1953 Chateau Latour with my oldest friend in a Chinese restaurant, along with a 1970 Lafite at another time. They are likely my favorite reds, along with a good Californian Cabernet.

just did a one month trip to Italy and France. Amazing time.

A year ago we did a wine focused trip to Italy and France. We started in Rome in May, stayed four nights in Rome and then headed to Montalcino, and toured Brunello for 3 days, at which point we headed to Chianti, where we stayed two nights in Greve. I love the sangiovese wines from Italy, and that was a real treat. Then Florence, and then Venice, and then onto Piemonte, where we stayed for four nights doing a tour of the local wineries in Barolo! Amazing. Some of my favorites. Though I typically buy Barolo at auction with 20 years of bottle age when they really begin to start expressing themselves. But that's when I'm back in the US, and that kind of thing really isn't possible here, due to some extremely dull minds that are in charge, and have no understanding of how dynamic an industry Thailand could have, if they lower taxes dramatically and eased import restrictions.

Then onto Avignon where we stayed near Chateauneuf du Pape for 4 days, touring the local wineries, Gigondas, and the historic sites. I love CDP and Gigondas, and had some really memorable tastings at some wonderful wineries there.

Then onto Bordeaux, for my nephews wedding and a family reunion. Bordeaux a was great, but as far as wine goes I must say Bordeaux was probably the most disappointing part of the trip, as it would seem that most Bordeaux wines under $75 are not enjoyable to drink and many require 20 years or longer to age. Fortunately we had a rental car which we drive one way from Rome to Bordeaux and we were able to amass a couple of cases of exceptional wine along the way, so we were drinking anything but Bordeaux in Bordeaux.

Then Paris with the my gal and my sisters. Great trip. If I could afford it a similar trip would be an annual occurrence.

24 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I also liked Merlot, Petite Syrah, Pinot Noir and Zinfandels, especially the late harvest ones.Making me think just talking about them.

Hi again Fred, I'm just wondering if your mention of Petite Syrah is the same grape as Petite Sirah, which is a cross between the vines of Peloursin and Syrah and was spelt Sirah, also known as Durif (after the oenologist who discovered it) – – and I ask this because at one time there was a Syrah grape which was smaller than the usual grape and that was sometimes called petite syrah and I was wondering if that is the variety you are referring to??

Good to see that your range of wine tastes is much broader than mine because I am mainly focused on red wines although I do import a Tokay wine from Hungary and like that in place of a Portuguese port which is also a favourite of mine!

6 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

A year ago we did a wine focused trip to Italy and France. We started in Rome in May, stayed four nights in Rome and then headed to Montalcino, and toured Brunello for 3 days, at which point we headed to Chianti, where we stayed two nights in Greve. I love the sangiovese wines from Italy, and that was a real treat. Then Florence, and then Venice, and then onto Piemonte, where we stayed for four nights doing a tour of the local wineries in Barolo! Amazing. Some of my favorites. Though I typically buy Barolo at auction with 20 years of bottle age when they really begin to start expressing themselves. But that's when I'm back in the US, and that kind of thing really isn't possible here, due to some extremely dull minds that are in charge, and have no understanding of how dynamic an industry Thailand could have, if they lower taxes dramatically and eased import restrictions.

Then onto Avignon where we stayed near Chateauneuf du Pape for 4 days, touring the local wineries, Gigondas, and the historic sites. I love CDP and Gigondas, and had some really memorable tastings at some wonderful wineries there.

Then onto Bordeaux, for my nephews wedding and a family reunion. Bordeaux a was great, but as far as wine goes I must say Bordeaux was probably the most disappointing part of the trip, as it would seem that most Bordeaux wines under $75 are not enjoyable to drink and many require 20 years or longer to age. Fortunately we had a rental car which we drive one way from Rome to Bordeaux and we were able to amass a couple of cases of exceptional wine along the way, so we were drinking anything but Bordeaux in Bordeaux.

Then Paris with the my gal and my sisters. Great trip. If I could afford it a similar trip would be an annual occurrence.

You experienced what I hope to. I've had the wines. Now I need to see where they originated.

Just now, fredwiggy said:

You experienced what I hope to. I've had the wines. Now I need to see where they originated.

I really recommend that trip, especially Brunello, Chianti, Piemonte, and the Chateauneuf area, which was incredible. We stayed in some really charming bed and breakfasts, and it was a very memorable trip.

6 minutes ago, xylophone said:

Hi again Fred, I'm just wondering if your mention of Petite Syrah is the same grape as Petite Sirah, which is a cross between the vines of Peloursin and Syrah and was spelt Sirah, also known as Durif (after the oenologist who discovered it) – – and I ask this because at one time there was a Syrah grape which was smaller than the usual grape and that was sometimes called petite syrah and I was wondering if that is the variety you are referring to??

Good to see that your range of wine tastes is much broader than mine because I am mainly focused on red wines although I do import a Tokay wine from Hungary and like that in place of a Portuguese port which is also a favourite of mine!

Yes, Petite Sirah is the Durif. Most of what I've had were from California, where most of it is indeed Durif. Syrah was the pollen for the variety with Peloyrsin, making Durif. I was really up on this awhile ago but got away from it since coming here. Tokaji Aszu, omg, such a killer wine. This along with the Chateau D' Yquem from Sauternes are foreign favorites. I have a 1937 Porto Rocheda Port on my computer desk, sadly already drank many years ago but saved the bottle.

6 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

Have you done it or tried it? I stopped for 1 to 2 months a few times. Got a bit bored. Going whole fitness thing really isnt that exciting. Seems normal to drink.

Drinking – and stopping it – is a question of taste, life-style and addiction. Drinking too much can easily be a problem, both for others and for one's health; not to forget one's money.

I presume life-style – including habbits – is a major factor. Me for example, I enjoy a glass of wine or two with my dinner, but I don'øt need to drink alcohil when having a fun night in town. The latter, I normally do twice a week, where I enjoy sodas with a slice lemon, and never feeling bored at all; and I'm not considered "cheap Charlie", as I gladly tip well and don't mind buying a drink to others.

However, we are all different; so, find what you feel is the best life-style for you, considering health – a glass of wine, or just similar amount of alcohol, is in many studies found healthy; more than that is generally considered unhealthy – and economy as major factors.

18 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

I really recommend that trip, especially Brunello, Chianti, Piemonte, and the Chateauneuf area, which was incredible. We stayed in some really charming bed and breakfasts, and it was a very memorable trip.

I never did an Italy trip with regards to wine, only for skiing (badly) however I agree with your comment about Chateauneuf du Pape wines although I like the older style of CDP wine where up to 18 grape varieties could be used, whereas now they are mainly focused on Grenache, Syrah and Mourvedre.

On the French trip I and my French wine merchant friend were fortunate enough to be invited to stay at Château La Bastide, where his wife served us with a sumptuous meal, of course accompanied by their wines.

As a gift I took along a bottle of Australian Grange (was Grange Hermitage) and they wanted to try it at the meal, which I had no problem with and although it was one of Australia's finest wines, in typical French style he criticised it for being too tannic amongst other things and he really didn't like it! Everyone to their own I suppose.

As an addendum, and getting far off track, I now focus mainly on good Italian wine, with the Californian wine I mentioned previously, with the occasional Aussie and French wine thrown in for good measure!

Didn't really quit just lost interest not the same fun it used to be. I had a buddy who spent the last 30 years of his life trying to relive the summer of 69 . I used to tell him it's gone won't come back but he died still trying.

5 minutes ago, xylophone said:

I never did an Italy trip with regards to wine, only for skiing (badly) however I agree with your comment about Chateauneuf du Pape wines although I like the older style of CDP wine where up to 18 grape varieties could be used, whereas now they are mainly focused on Grenache, Syrah and Mourvedre.

On the French trip I and my French wine merchant friend were fortunate enough to be invited to stay at Château La Bastide, where his wife served us with a sumptuous meal, of course accompanied by their wines.

As a gift I took along a bottle of Australian Grange (was Grange Hermitage) and they wanted to try it at the meal, which I had no problem with and although it was one of Australia's finest wines, in typical French style he criticised it for being too tannic amongst other things and he really didn't like it! Everyone to their own I suppose.

As an addendum, and getting far off track, I now focus mainly on good Italian wine, with the Californian wine I mentioned previously, with the occasional Aussie and French wine thrown in for good measure!

Barolo and Brunello are some of the finest reds.

Just now, fredwiggy said:

Barolo and Brunello are some of the finest reds.

True and have tried them.......but very expensive here in Thailand!

5 minutes ago, xylophone said:

I never did an Italy trip with regards to wine, only for skiing (badly) however I agree with your comment about Chateauneuf du Pape wines although I like the older style of CDP wine where up to 18 grape varieties could be used, whereas now they are mainly focused on Grenache, Syrah and Mourvedre.

On the French trip I and my French wine merchant friend were fortunate enough to be invited to stay at Château La Bastide, where his wife served us with a sumptuous meal, of course accompanied by their wines.

As a gift I took along a bottle of Australian Grange (was Grange Hermitage) and they wanted to try it at the meal, which I had no problem with and although it was one of Australia's finest wines, in typical French style he criticised it for being too tannic amongst other things and he really didn't like it! Everyone to their own I suppose.

As an addendum, and getting far off track, I now focus mainly on good Italian wine, with the Californian wine I mentioned previously, with the occasional Aussie and French wine thrown in for good measure!

That's an amazing coincidence as that is the one Chateauneuf producer I wanted to visit that we just didn't have the time to get around to. I've had some of their 2012 Le Secret de Pignan, and their Hesperides are amazing. They are a great example of a family run winery, that's a bit under the radar and offers incredible QPR and excellent wine.

Le Gour de Chaule is another in Gigondas.

3 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

I have a good friend who was drinking everyday, sometimes in excess, and she got in a car wreck and wrapped her car around a telephone pole while driving home drunk. She's been sober ever since, it's been 2 months now and she did it without therapy, without rehab, and without the use of AA. That takes real heart and soul.

I'd say it took her a near death experience rather than any heart and soul.

2 minutes ago, NanLaew said:

I'd say it took her a near death experience rather than any heart and soul.

Nah I will offer a dissenting opinion on that, granted it does oftentimes take a life-altering experience like that to compel somebody to want to change, but I've known plenty of people over the years who have had tragedies due to drunkenness and have gone right back to that nasty habit again. So it does take a lot of heart and soul to quit, as it's not an easy habit to break.

I just don't anymore. I simply don't like the feeling. I used to (like the feeling). Now I don't. Same with marijuana. I loved it as a teenager and young adult. When it was decriminalize here I tried it off and on, but the feeling was never like it was when I was young. I just don't like that lack of the same feeling I got when I was younger.
Something about getting older. What made if fun 50 years ago just isn't there anymore.

7 hours ago, KhunLA said:

First you need to figure out why you drink alcohol.

I just liked the buzz. But I simply don't get the same "buzz" anymore. I didn't stop per-say, I just didn't buy it anymore and when I thought about it, I realized I haven't drank for a couple of years.

7 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

Yeah Thai beer is crap. Western nations are better for drinking. Lots more choices.

If I had access to good Microbrews I might still have one now and then. But this tiger pee that is passed off as beer. No great loss.

2 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

I bought 20 books and only read half.

Why didn't you buy the other 6 and complete the alphabet? Anyway, well done for reaching the letter J.

16 minutes ago, Keeps said:

Why didn't you buy the other 6 and complete the alphabet? Anyway, well done for reaching the letter J.

J for jerk? Sounds about right.

9 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

Have you done it or tried it? I stopped for 1 to 2 months a few times. Got a bit bored. Going whole fitness thing really isnt that exciting. Seems normal to drink.

Two years the longest I did when younger, now once and awhile a year, and lately months without a drink if alcohol. It is nice to not drink for awhile, then you get the nice buzz after one and two glasses only,

I don't trust men that don't drink no matter the age.