17 hours ago, Hummin said:

You should see the supermarcados in Spain, all the fresh cut meat and fish laid out, cheese, ++++

And the prices for a big bag of luxury

Awesome, it is like a wet dream everytime I come here to Spain, so delicate

I don't eat animals so the markets you describe in Spain are places I would avoid.

17 hours ago, wil iam not said:

At what age do you categorise someone as elderly?

Different people wear out at different ages anywhere between 60 and 90

I guess somebody forgot to mention the “excitement” every extension at immigration. That is a great reminder that tells me what I’m here after years. Especially how I feel after my recent extension. Do we really need to hear those none sense then get the stamp in the end. 😔

Compliments to the author, you covered it all. The answers will be a millionfold.

Address individual problems, you'll get help and answers.

We all gotta manage our fade. If one needs your input, we'll let you know...

"Many long term residents seem happiest when they keep a certain emotional distance from local life. They live here but do not fully attach. They enjoy what works and accept that the larger issues are not theirs to solve. Law, politics, systems, the economy, border disputes, etc. Staying slightly outside the frame often keeps the weight of life lighter.

But that raises another question. If you remain an outsider forever, are you still living somewhere or simply passing time in a comfortable location like a permanent tourist rather than an integrated resident."

This description fits me to a T. After 16 years I am still suffering from "integration hesitancy". What really defines a nation is the character and culture of its people, and at my age and after all these years I simply cannot continue to tolerate the ignorance, the chaos and disorder, the gossip and drama, the corruption, the "face" nonsense, the "mai pen rai" attitude and the indifference to foreigners....only to name a few. The only peace and comfort I find is when I completely avoid any interaction with the locals. I continually find myself on the edge of a nervous breakdown, and this constant isolation from the social fabric really takes a toll on my physical and mental well-being. Most of the time I feel like I'm caught up in a continuous nightmare. I have mopped myself into a corner, and there is simply no reasonable way out. I love my wife and her family, I live a very comfortable life and I'm happy with my home and all of my "things", but in my heart and mind I exist in a tortuous bubble that will eventually lead to a premature death filled with grief and regret.

If I had it to do all over again, I would move back to the Philippines where I lived for 11 years back in the late 70's and early 80's. I hobknobbed with the rich and famous, I was accepted into the society and treated like a king, and I lived an exciting life filled with never ending bliss.

I find the quality of life here to be quite high, at least it is for me and most of my friends. Here, some people seem to be struggling, but they are still somewhat even minded, and many are quite pleasant. Many have maintained their light heartedness, and their sense of humor. And I can walk into a restaurant and (harmlessly) flirt with a gorgeous 23 year old waitress, and she is all smiles. And the restaurant does not cost me an arm and a leg. Life here is just so much more pleasant. As long as I keep my head in the sand over local politics, the extreme over reaction to Covid, and the major issues here caused by the goons shutting down the economy over Covid. Thankfully this is just incredibly sad and distant memories now.

I come from the US. It is a rather joyless place. It is all about the money. It is a great spot if you want everyone 10 years younger than you, referring to you as sir. All my single friends there are struggling to find a date. It is a great place if you like women who are more masculine than you are, and find it very difficult to manifest the dignity within femininity. 

Also, it is very expensive now. A friend who has a place in both Monaco and London said on his recent visit to LA and NY, that it was more expensive than either of the places he lives now. Don't consider moving to America unless money and value are not an object. And don't even get me started about labor costs there. Somehow things got twisted around to the point where house painters and plumbers now think they deserve what a psychologist used to charge. No thanks.

Living the Life in Thailand After the Dream.

What Dream ,

If you come here to dream than you've got it Wrong.'

You have to come to Los wide awake and stay awake . Los isn't for Dreamers .

57 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

twisted around to the point where house painters and plumbers

Yeah, but how often does your toilet get clogged?

2 hours ago, fittobethaied said:

"face" nonsense, the "mai pen rai" attitude and the indifference to foreigners....only to name a few. The only peace and comfort I find is when I completely avoid any interaction with the locals.

Maybe you need to change your attitude.

The woman who does my laundry works 12 hours a day, 7 days a week to put her children through school.

She is not indifferent to foreigners, she is simply too busy struggling to survive to notice that you even exist, as is just about every Thai (except for the elites maybe).

Why should I expect anything from her? In baseball, you're only as good as your last at bat, and in Thailand you're only as good as what you can offer. If you have nothing to offer, then there really isn't much need to be interacting with people outside your family. This woman, I bring her fruit sometimes when I do my laundry, she smiles and appreciates it and we make a bit of small talk. And that's the end of that. Not sure what "gossip" or "chaos" or "face" has to do with anything unless you're spending an exorbitant amount of time loitering where you probably shouldn't be in the first place.

If you're working, that's different. But last time I checked, people at work were back-biting back home too.

All you need is family and/or one of two close friends. Realistically, no one else is your friend and if your circle is too big, it only causes problems.

In any interaction, people expect to get something or why would they waste time with you? Life is too hard here for many. There's no time for pointless interactions.

Try making small kind gestures towards locals and they will be warm back. Just buying fruit, small things. Otherwise, what "chaos" are you talking about? I don't see chaos .

2 hours ago, fittobethaied said:

But that raises another question. If you remain an outsider forever, are you still living somewhere or simply passing time in a comfortable location like a permanent tourist rather than an integrated resident."

Better here than in a care home in our home countries.

7 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

Maybe you need to change your attitude.

The woman who does my laundry works 12 hours a day, 7 days a week to put her children through school.

She is not indifferent to foreigners, she is simply too busy struggling to survive to notice that you even exist, as is just about every Thai (except for the elites maybe).

Why should I expect anything from her? In baseball, you're only as good as your last at bat, and in Thailand you're only as good as what you can offer. If you have nothing to offer, then there really isn't much need to be interacting with people outside your family. This woman, I bring her fruit sometimes when I do my laundry, she smiles and appreciates it and we make a bit of small talk. And that's the end of that. Not sure what "gossip" or "chaos" or "face" has to do with anything unless you're spending an exorbitant amount of time loitering where you probably shouldn't be in the first place.

If you're working, that's different. But last time I checked, people at work were back-biting back home too.

All you need is family and/or one of two close friends. Realistically, no one else is your friend and if your circle is too big, it only causes problems.

In any interaction, people expect to get something or why would they waste time with you? Life is too hard here for many. There's no time for pointless interactions.

Try making small kind gestures towards locals and they will be warm back. Just buying fruit, small things. Otherwise, what "chaos" are you talking about? I don't see chaos .

Frogs, I appreciate the comment, but it's obvious that you're experience here differs from mine. Our attitudes are formed by our experiences, and I have to say that my problem is

not a matter of attitude. It's a matter of bad chemistry. My chemistry with the locals is no different than the chemistry in a bad relationship. Water and oil don't mix no matter what your attitude is.

2 hours ago, fittobethaied said:

"Many long term residents seem happiest when they keep a certain emotional distance from local life. They live here but do not fully attach. They enjoy what works and accept that the larger issues are not theirs to solve. Law, politics, systems, the economy, border disputes, etc. Staying slightly outside the frame often keeps the weight of life lighter.

But that raises another question. If you remain an outsider forever, are you still living somewhere or simply passing time in a comfortable location like a permanent tourist rather than an integrated resident."

This description fits me to a T. After 16 years I am still suffering from "integration hesitancy". What really defines a nation is the character and culture of its people, and at my age and after all these years I simply cannot continue to tolerate the ignorance, the chaos and disorder, the gossip and drama, the corruption, the "face" nonsense, the "mai pen rai" attitude and the indifference to foreigners....only to name a few. The only peace and comfort I find is when I completely avoid any interaction with the locals. I continually find myself on the edge of a nervous breakdown, and this constant isolation from the social fabric really takes a toll on my physical and mental well-being. Most of the time I feel like I'm caught up in a continuous nightmare. I have mopped myself into a corner, and there is simply no reasonable way out. I love my wife and her family, I live a very comfortable life and I'm happy with my home and all of my "things", but in my heart and mind I exist in a tortuous bubble that will eventually lead to a premature death filled with grief and regret.

If I had it to do all over again, I would move back to the Philippines where I lived for 11 years back in the late 70's and early 80's. I hobknobbed with the rich and famous, I was accepted into the society and treated like a king, and I lived an exciting life filled with never ending bliss.

Can't really say I was integrated with most folks back in the USA, disagreeing with the 'normal and conservative' (non political meaning) mainstream lifestyle of most.

Never had a desire or need to integrate, and living in my own little world works just fine with me.

People that thought they knew me, usually thought ... "that boy ain't right in the head', others simply gave a wide berth. A bit too free spirit for most to understand.

Throw in my "I just care about other's opinion" and TH actually works better for me, and I have no issues here, and nobody has issues with me. So the language barrier keeps us both smiling.

Few make it past my 'walls' but those that do, we have a life long binding relationship.

On 2/10/2026 at 3:38 PM, Kyoto Kyle said:

I travel quite often for pleasure. No issues there. How about yourself?

He is too busy being snarky to everyone on this site to travel anywhere.

22 hours ago, Hummin said:

You should see the supermarcados in Spain, all the fresh cut meat and fish laid out, cheese, ++++

And the prices for a big bag of luxury

Awesome, it is like a wet dream everytime I come here to Spain, so delicate

I have friends that live in Spain there are certain aspects of it that seem amazing and others that are not so interesting. Talk to us about the availability of younger single women, what about the taxation situation? What about the visas, and what about the overcrowding with tourists?

20 hours ago, BilllyGOAT said:

Hey champ, I thought I would do you a favor by suggesting a dozen possible titles for your upcoming memoir, one that chronicles your long career of malignant keyboard drivel and your rare talent for responding to topics at industrial scale while leaving almost no positive impression behind.

1. The Art of 20000 Forgettable Posts

2. Make Posting Great Again - A Memoir Nobody Asked For

3. Bigly Post Count Small Reactions

4. How to Spend 18 Hours a Day Saying Nothing Salient

5. The Silent Applause of Zero Positive Emojis

6. The Site Reputation Gap A Study in Low Numbers

7. Thumbs Down All Day A Love Story

8. Posting Like a Champ Winning Like Nobody

9. A Master's Guide to Being Disliked Online

10. The Real World According to a Forum Troll

11. How to Claim to Know Everything and Convince No One

12. Quantity Over Quality A Masterclass

The champ reminds me of the American lawyer i saw on YouTube the other day.

He said he's been a lawyer for 24 years and have won 12 million cases.

32 minutes ago, KhunLA said:

Can't really say I was integrated with most folks back in the USA, disagreeing with the 'normal and conservative' (non political meaning) mainstream lifestyle of most.

Never had a desire or need to integrate, and living in my own little world works just fine with me.

People that thought they knew me, usually thought ... "that boy ain't right in the head', others simply gave a wide berth. A bit too free spirit for most to understand.

Throw in my "I just care about other's opinion" and TH actually works better for me, and I have no issues here, and nobody has issues with me. So the language barrier keeps us both smiling.

Few make it past my 'walls' but those that do, we have a life long binding relationship.

Great post and I agree with all of it. I also never felt the need to belong in the US, I never felt like I belonged. I don't really feel like I belong here but I love it here. I'm certainly not part of them, but I feel enough of a sense of community to keep me here. And I find the people pleasant, and the worst I ever encounter is indifferent which I can deal with.

Back in the US I encountered unpleasant frequently. No thanks. We have a good life here and to some extent life is what we make it, right?

1 hour ago, save the frogs said:

Yeah, but how often does your toilet get clogged?

Very rarely here but quite often in America, as the place is full of s***.

49 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

I have friends that live in Spain there are certain aspects of it that seem amazing and others that are not so interesting. Talk to us about the availability of younger single women, what about the taxation situation? What about the visas, and what about the overcrowding with tourists?

It comes down to your wallet, and your purpuse of your retirement. If I had kids and grandkids back in Norway, Spain would have been the natural choice to retire there, but my money still goes a lot longer in Thailand, especially if you have a good wife who are good to save money and not only spend money.

I'm reminded of the lyrics from an Eagles track.....

"What can you do when your dreams come true
And it's not quite like you planned?"

35 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

I have friends that live in Spain there are certain aspects of it that seem amazing and others that are not so interesting. Talk to us about the availability of younger single women, what about the taxation situation? What about the visas, and what about the overcrowding with tourists?

It comes down to what you limit yourself to, and what you evaluates as important to you.

If younger women is important to you, Spain could be expensive

38 minutes ago, MIke B Bad said:

I'm reminded of the lyrics from an Eagles track.....

"What can you do when your dreams come true
And it's not quite like you planned?"

Hotel California?

I'm reminded of the lyrics from an Eagles track.....

"What can you do when your dreams come true
And it's not quite like you planned?"

Just now, Hummin said:

It comes down to what you limit yourself to, and what you evaluates as important to you.

If younger women is important to you, Spain could be expensive

Hotel California?

Song: After the Thrill has gone......Album: "One of these Nights"

5 minutes ago, Hummin said:

It comes down to what you limit yourself to, and what you evaluates as important to you.

If younger women is important to you, Spain could be expensive

Hotel California?

I never understood why a man would want to be with a woman his age, if he really had a choice.

In the West men really don't have a choice unless they're very, very wealthy. Here we do as age is not stigmatized like it is back home. I was married to a woman my age a long time ago, and ever since then I've always preferred younger. Better looking, more fun, open minded, less conventional, less stubborn. I could go on for 5 minutes describing all the reasons.

2 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

I never understood why a man would want to be with a woman his age, if he really had a choice.

In the West men really don't have a choice unless they're very, very wealthy. Here we do as age is not stigmatized like it is back home. I was married to a woman my age a long time ago, and ever since then I've always preferred younger. Better looking, more fun, open minded, less conventional, less stubborn. I could go on for 5 minutes describing all the reasons.

I still see many elderly couples same age in Spain, who seems to enjoying themselves.

I believe it comes down to each and one couple, and what they value together in life.

True love some calls it

@Harrisfan @scottiejohn

I've hidden quite a few of your mutual OFF-TOPIC bickering posts.

Tone it down please and keep it on topic. Or? I'll provide some vacation away from the forum so you have time to actually enjoy your time in Thailand.

Just write a long post.

That should pass a day or two.

On 2/10/2026 at 5:54 AM, Kyoto Kyle said:

So I am genuinely interested how other people see this after many years.

Do you still feel engaged with life here or are you simply well adapted to it. When a place stops exciting you but continues to work, is that success or stagnation.

At what point does staying here reflect contentment and at what point does it reflect inertia.

And how does one even tell the difference.

20 years and counting – and still not regretting my permanent move to Land of Smiles – the more I follow evolution in my home Nordic country, the more I feel my decision was the right choice.

And yes, I feel more engaged now in life here than both 10 and 20 years ago; however I also feel adapted – and I like that – and furthermore accepted be the locals as almost one of them; "almost", because I will always be a "farang".

The place in Thailand I decided to settle – a so-called "paradise island" – still excites me. The island and nighbouring islands has changed, but so have most places lover a period of 20 years. And as we all are slightly different, some might say tnat changes are to the worse, while other – like me – find changes also gives new excitements to explore. We cannot live in the past.

For me, staying here indeed reflects contentment. I presume it also has a lot to do with bthe invidual – yourself – to engage, find interest on whatever is around you, and not the least enjoy living, including happines over small everyday things.

How to tell the difference is also a question of how the individual kooks at life – and how you meassure "the difference". During of my working life back home I could not think of retire and stop working, just because I would pass the age og 70; I was self-employed, running a smaller company. But the last few of my actual working years was a planning how to close mu business down – including selling offm, what coulkd be sold – as I after visiting Thailand began to thin about "when is enough, enough". At age of 56 I "retired", meaning stop working to make more money and pay high taxes, for saving up to some time if the future where I might not be able to enjoy my savings from my hard work. The so far passed 20 years from that point, where I stopped for early self-financed retirement, tells me the difference, as I'm as not only happy now, as when I made the change of life and moved out. Now, I even feel more happy, because I've already had 20 great years of retirement – which for many, if you work till your are 65 or 70 years old is the whole retirement – I feel fit, fullt enjoy the place where I'm living, and stilling planning on another 20 great years, perheps even 25 or 30 more years...😉

1 hour ago, Base32 said:

@Harrisfan @scottiejohn

I've hidden quite a few of your mutual OFF-TOPIC bickering posts.

Tone it down please and keep it on topic. Or? I'll provide some vacation away from the forum so you have time to actually enjoy your time in Thailand.

Instead, you could always lock the two of them in a round rubber-room together with nothing on, hide the key at the bottom of a fifty gallon drum of Vaseline, and see how it all plays out. Set up a dozen GoPros from various different angles and, at the very least, every member would gladly pay to watch the footage. It sounds like good fun. It might even turn out to be far more fulfilling and satisfying for the two of them than anyone would have ever imagined. 😂🙏🏻🥳

3 hours ago, norsurin said:

The champ reminds me of the American lawyer i saw on YouTube the other day.

He said he's been a lawyer for 24 years and have won 12 million cases.

If you read some of his posts, you'll notice he often likes to call people "champ", but that's only when he's not calling people worse things. So I was just being polite and returning his gratitude.

On 2/10/2026 at 2:54 PM, Kyoto Kyle said:

what happens after ten years in country. Or fifteen. Or even twenty and beyond.

Thailand has been my home for over 20 years.

The only changes I've noticed are all the horrible nasty penny less foreigners arriving,

Sadly the Thai's are fed up with these disrespectful, moaning people, the Thai's have changed their attitude. We were once treated like Kings, sadly the trashy foreigners have ruined it for us all.

6 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Thailand has been my home for over 20 years.

The only changes I've noticed are all the horrible nasty penny less foreigners arriving,

Sadly the Thai's are fed up with these disrespectful, moaning people, the Thai's have changed their attitude. We were once treated like Kings, sadly the trashy foreigners have ruined it for us all.

Or it could be that they no longer need to kowtow to sex tourists nor pretend to respect them.