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Do expats in Thailand see relationships differently over time?

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Just now, Lacessit said:

It depends on whether you believe in emotional connection, or basic statistics.

Every relationship on earth is individual, and nothing to do with any others. What you both bring into it determines the outcome. If you have a partner with the same future plans, who isn't damaged from her parents or a mental illness, you already had the attraction from the start, and it should last. Emotional connection, including communication and full trust, is how people last happy.They can weather all storms and don't blame the other when outside influences enter it, or when finances hurt their marriage..

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  • BilllyGOAT
    BilllyGOAT

    Sounds like another thinly veiled rent versus own topic. Certainly not the first and definitely won't be the last.

  • BilllyGOAT
    BilllyGOAT

    I don't think I've ever bonked a woman that age. I'd be surprised if I could rise to the occasion, unless of course I viewed it as being some kind of kinky fetish. Like cougar porn. 😬🤣

  • BilllyGOAT
    BilllyGOAT

    Damaged goods. Sounds wonderful. Send me a postcard from heaven. 🤣 Here is my mailing address: 69 Soi Nana, Bang-Kok, Thailand 10110

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1 minute ago, KhunLA said:

Wife is knocking on 50, and looks 30 ish.

Me, 71 and look like a 70 yr old.

3 couldn't keep up and make me happy

1 succeeding

I am 82. I look like 82.

My wallet is probably the most handsome part of me.

3 hours ago, BilllyGOAT said:

Sounds like another thinly veiled rent versus own topic. Certainly not the first and definitely won't be the last.

yup, I see this as a pointless discussion

29 minutes ago, Des1 said:

yup, I see this as a pointless discussion

Sure -- but some of the resident Lotharios never can miss up a chance.

Dating younger makes you feel younger and more active. It is best to date a woman that tests you in some way and is not a door mat.

14 minutes ago, JerryM said:

Sure -- but some of the resident Lotharios never can miss up a chance.

Well, I really mean to wish them well. Who am I to say what works.

3 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Lot of very pretty 50's women out there, and the single ones are either loons or had a bad partner and would appreciate one that would treat them well, and be faithful.

"Loon" can just be a matter of perspective. She might not see herself as a loon, as I'm sure that you don't see yourself in that way. It's more a matter of compatibility. She puts up with you and you put up with her. You will also be single 'for a reason'. "Treating them well" is just from your perspective. The woman may see it differently from how you see yourself. You have to get to know the person, rather than applying rigid theories to every relationship.

Your money theory for example. Not once have I every had to carry a relationship financially. Neither local nor foreign. You repeat your theories as they fit with your experience and what you've read.

2 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Every relationship on earth is individual, and nothing to do with any others. What you both bring into it determines the outcome. If you have a partner with the same future plans, who isn't damaged from her parents or a mental illness, you already had the attraction from the start, and it should last. Emotional connection, including communication and full trust, is how people last happy.They can weather all storms and don't blame the other when outside influences enter it, or when finances hurt their marriage..

It also helps if the other partner acknowledges their own issues. In all these posts, you highlight issues with the women; mental illness, poor relationship with parents etc, where you are painted as "treating women well" and "faithful". No introspection of your own issues at all. What you are like to live with, for example.

Whilst I am using you in this example, it can apply to any and everyone.

There is theory and there is reality...

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2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I found it exactly the opposite,

The one I pay (20 years younger) demands intimacy and companionship.

The one that loved me for myself (same age) avoided all intimacy,

Weren't you the guy who said women lie all the time?

2 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

I didn't make anyone unhappy. They came into the marriage that way, and are still the same, besides the one who died from all the prescription drugs she was taking her doctors ordered for her. Where did I call you a fool? I said in this marriage, if you're both happy, that's working. If your first wife was unhappy for 20 out of 30 years, that's on you. Unless she was also mentally ill all along and was only going through the motions because of the children. I remember what you've said all along about the kids and not having a relationship, and that's not your wife's fault. I wasn't there and can only go by what you've said here, which is something you also should do.

I'm sure that he is going by what you have written here. We all do. It's just that you get mad when it doesn't tally with the way that you wish to see yourself.

If, as you claim, that "they came into the marriage that way", why did you marry them? That doesn't make sense does it?

It could equally be that your behaviour also had an effect on them, leading to a deteriorating relationship. But that is something that you absolutely refuse to acknowledge. Such behaviour in a relationship can be terminal. Again, a simple observation that can apply to anyone, but you refuse to countenance that it could ever apply to yourself.

6 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

I'm sure that he is going by what you have written here. We all do. It's just that you get mad when it doesn't tally with the way that you wish to see yourself.

If, as you claim, that "they came into the marriage that way", why did you marry them? That doesn't make sense does it?

It could equally be that your behaviour also had an effect on them, leading to a deteriorating relationship. But that is something that you absolutely refuse to acknowledge. Such behaviour in a relationship can be terminal. Again, a simple observation that can apply to anyone, but you refuse to countenance that it could ever apply to yourself.

I don't get mad. I tell exactly what happened, and a few morons think it matches their narrative, likely because they haven't a clue how to treat a woman well so are jealous that I do.

Do you actually think you know someone so well when you meet them, that they aren't capable of putting on an act for months until they have you secured?

You yourself said you left a "crazy" woman before you came here, and are now in a relationship for 11 years, yet are still dating other women who always seem to pay for your meals. No one here knows if that woman was crazy or not, but by your actions here, you surely aren't easy to get along with, and are likely a control freak who dominates his women.

Like I mentioned before ,stop assuming as it makes you look like an idiot. You haven't one idea how I lived my life nor how the women in it acted, so stay out of my business, because it makes you look more ignorant with every reply.

Just now, fredwiggy said:

I don't get mad. I tell exactly what happened, and a few morons think it matches their narrative, likely because they haven't a clue how to treat a woman well so are jealous that I do.

Do you actually think you know someone so well when you meet them, that they aren't capable of putting on an act for months until they have you secured?

You yourself said you left a "crazy" woman before you came here, and are now in a relationship for 11 years, yet are still dating other women who always seem to pay for your meals. No one here knows if that woman was crazy or not, but by your actions here, you surely aren't easy to get along with, and are likely a control freak who dominates his women.

Like I mentioned before ,stop assuming as it makes you look like an idiot. You haven't one idea how I lived my life nor how the women in it acted, so stay out of my business, because it makes you look more ignorant with every reply.

Your post above directly confirms what I asserted in the first place. Your tendency to become unpleasant and abusive when a valid perspective is aired. If it's your reflex here, it means it's a tendency. Can you state categorically that you don't ever react that way within your relationships? Substitute 'moron' for 'mental illness'. So often the need to label others, but to idealise your own behaviour. These are merely observations made over time. Why do you feel the need to abuse and rant at any perspective that doesn't match with yours?

That kind of behaviour will lead to a deterioration of any relationship.

25 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

"Loon" can just be a matter of perspective. She might not see herself as a loon, as I'm sure that you don't see yourself in that way. It's more a matter of compatibility. She puts up with you and you put up with her. You will also be single 'for a reason'. "Treating them well" is just from your perspective. The woman may see it differently from how you see yourself. You have to get to know the person, rather than applying rigid theories to every relationship.

Your money theory for example. Not once have I every had to carry a relationship financially. Neither local nor foreign. You repeat your theories as they fit with your experience and what you've read.

No, treating a woman well is a definitive. If you are a decent person to start with, have lived in a loving household with no abuse or neglect, and seen love between your parents. you are highly likely to act the same with your partners. people who treat women well also want to learn how. To do whatever it takes to learn about women, so you listen, read and research, learning all you can so your relationship goes as smoothly as possible, as all my relationships did besides the three I married and had children with.

If you treat a woman with love, respect, trust, care, romance, and provide, it's up to her to reciprocate. If she doesn't, she likely doesn't know how, and never learned how to relate to the opposite gender, meaning she likely didn't have a good, loving relationship with her dad, as that's where it starts. No woman in her right mind would be treated that way and think it wasn't right. If they've been abused and or cheated on, that might be all they know, and being treated well isn't "normal" to them, and they might self destruct the relationship.

My money "theory" isn't a theory. You either provide or you're a cheapskate. Having a woman pay for most of your meals and entertainment is being cheap, period. You never carried a relationship financially because you're cheap, especially if you were married. Bragging here that all these women pay for you is plain BS, and no one believes you. A man provides. When he's dating, a man usually picks up the bill. You do Dutch when you're not serious, until you are. If you have the woman pay most of the time, you're a freeloader and exploitive.

5 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

Your post above directly confirms what I asserted in the first place. Your tendency to become unpleasant and abusive when a valid perspective is aired. If it's your reflex here, it means it's a tendency. Can you state categorically that you don't ever react that way within your relationships? Substitute 'moron' for 'mental illness'. So often the need to label others, but to idealise your own behaviour. These are merely observations made over time. Why do you feel the need to abuse and rant at any perspective that doesn't match with yours?

That kind of behaviour will lead to a deterioration of any relationship.

Where have I become abusive? You acting like a moron with almost every reply is calling you out on abnormal behavior. I haven't that problem here with anyone besides you and a few more, and funny thing, everyone else also does. Yes, I can substitute moron for mental illness, as I pointed this out to you many times. You're nuts. Try not to psychoanalyze me. It's just your deflection, trying to hide your persona. Don't bother replying, as it's always the same nonsense deflections and assumptions. Go troll elsewhere.

Just now, fredwiggy said:

No, treating a woman well is a definitive. If you are a decent person to start with, have lived in a loving household with no abuse or neglect, and seen love between your parents. you are highly likely to act the same with your partners. people who treat women well also want to learn how. To do whatever it takes to learn about women, so you listen, read and research, learning all you can so your relationship goes as smoothly as possible, as all my relationships did besides the three I married and had children with.

If you treat a woman with love, respect, trust, care, romance, and provide, it's up to her to reciprocate. If she doesn't, she likely doesn't know how, and never learned how to relate to the opposite gender, meaning she likely didn't have a good, loving relationship with her dad, as that's where it starts. No woman in her right mind would be treated that way and think it wasn't right. If they've been abused and or cheated on, that might be all they know, and being treated well isn't "normal" to them, and they might self destruct the relationship.

My money "theory" isn't a theory. You either provide or you're a cheapskate. Having a woman pay for most of your meals and entertainment is being cheap, period. You never carried a relationship financially because you're cheap, especially if you were married. Bragging here that all these women pay for you is plain BS, and no one believes you. A man provides. When he's dating, a man usually picks up the bill. You do Dutch when you're not serious, until you are. If you have the woman pay most of the time, you're a freeloader and exploitive.

No, it isn't 'definitive'. I can say the same, but I can also shout at her. That might suit that person(who might actually appreciate it) and not another.

Your research is useless if you are unable to adapt it to real situations. Your behaviour here shows an inability to adapt. That's my observation. Abusing and insulting doesn't change that but merely confirm it.

It's nothing personal about you at all. I just say what I see.

Personally, I have the kind of relationships to which you appear to aspire. But for you they are at the end of your rainbow. For me, it is here and now. For you it's theory, rather than reality. Again, merely my observations. It's only you imagining that I have something personally against you. I just write openly about what I see, without fear, nor favour.

42 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Weren't you the guy who said women lie all the time?

Fake can be better than reality.

4 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Lot of very pretty 50's women out there, and the single ones are either loons or had a bad partner and would appreciate one that would treat them well, and be faithful.

You might consider investing in new glasses.

Or meeting them in person rather than relying on filtered photos.

Just now, BritManToo said:

You might consider investing in new glasses.

Or meeting them in person rather than relying on filtered photos.

I lived there 62 years, and know what's around. I spent much of my time in gyms, and see those who exercise, which has the body staying fit much longer, especially if you have healthy eating habits. My last ex was in her late 40's, and was fine, as well as many others I dated.

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4 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Odd, I never noticed her unhappiness until the last 6 months.

Because you weren't paying attention to her feelings.

You gotta read body language, pay attention to subtle clues, try to read her mind even.

The now Thai wife and I have been together for 38 years ,

but only married for 2 years, you have to be sure ! , no it

was just I was still married to my UK wife , all cordial no

problems with either one, only got divorced so my Thai

wife could sort things out on my demise .

They were chalk and cheese , the UK one could not be

trusted ,while my now Thai wife is honest as the day is long,

we have had a great life together ,and now in my old age

looks after me so well ,you can find a good Thai wife,one

that loves you, and is honest ,does not gamble, smoke or

drink, then you can find the opposite , so good luck you

might need it.

regards worgeordie

i think people that left the home country on a one way ticket to the other side of the globe, already intended a different life than the norm. economic pressure also forces flexibility and prioritizing

4 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

This is the kind of "granny" I'm talking about, just for one possible..gettyimages-1186919142-612x612.jpg

Freddy, you could land the above if she was Thai and that would be extremely hard. She would have loads of options and you would need to be "THE MAN". I know from personal experience how hard it is to find older beautiful women here that are available. I've got one but it was only because I put in the effort and in the end was extremely lucky.

In the USA, you are not going to have a chance at a lady like this and I know many like her (50+). Not quite as attractive but close and at 50 they can get men that are a decade older that are loaded. Beautiful women that are over 50 are in HIGH demand in the USA. If you got foot long slong and look like great at your age, it still isn't going to happen. Now if you had loads of cash also, you might have a chance.

Just now, atpeace said:

Freddy, you could land the above if she was Thai and that would extremely hard. She would have loads of options and you would need to be "THE MAN".

In the USA, you are not going to have a chance at a lady like this and I know many like her (50+). Not quite as attractive but close and at 50 they can get men that are a decade older that are loaded. Beautiful women that are over 50 are in HIGH demand in the USA. If you got foot long slong and look like great at your age, it still isn't going to happen. Now if you had loads of cash also, you might have a chance.

My ex here is as attractive as this western woman. She's 46 now. I've been with many women like this already, most being under 40 but not all. It isn't about money in America as most women are independent after 50. It's how you treat them, listen to them, and share your life with them. Nothing to do with a schlong, although I'm hardly lacking in that anyway. I'm 69 and still look 50's, and will always look younger as that's my lifestyle. Every woman I've ever been with has been younger, and some much younger, usually by 10-15 years, before i moved here at 62.

Some women will always want money, but the normal ones still want love, and after being used a number of times, a 50+ woman knows she doesn't want to waste time with a man who acts like a boy. Money doesn't buy a normal woman happiness, and a normal woman is what I want. They have their own money by this age usually anyway, and homes, and the kids are grown and gone, so what does a woman want the most IF she's not greedy? One thing many don't understand, is that most women will never have true love in their lives. Not some, most.

5 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

This is the kind of "granny" I'm talking about, just for one possible..gettyimages-1186919142-612x612.jpg

Nothing much appealing about her at all compared to young attractive asian women.

5 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

My ex here is as attractive as this western woman. She's 46 now. I've been with many women like this already, most being under 40 but not all. It isn't about money in America as most women are independent after 50. It's how you treat them, listen to them, and share your life with them. Nothing to do with a schlong, although I'm hardly lacking in that anyway. I'm 69 and still look 50's, and will always look younger as that's my lifestyle. Every woman I've ever been with has been younger, and some much younger, usually by 10-15 years, before i moved here at 62.

Some women will always want money, but the normal ones still want love, and after being used a number of times, a 50+ woman knows she doesn't want to waste time with a man who acts like a boy. Money doesn't buy a normal woman happiness, and a normal woman is what I want. They have their own money by this age usually anyway, and homes, and the kids are grown and gone, so what does a woman want the most IF she's not greedy? One thing many don't understand, is that most women will never have true love in their lives. Not some, most.

Again, all very nice in theory, but there you are, paying out for a woman who does not even live with you and loads of kids with women in various stages of mental illness, according to you.

Before you freak out again, this is information that you have posted. No one is making anything up.

Just now, Rockyroad said:

Nothing much appealing about her at all compared to young attractive asian women.

Shes beautiful and over 50. Look at any woman over 50 and then you'll know. Asian woman look good longer than many other nationalities, but quickly lose it after 50. More western women exercise and eat healthier than Thais. You don't compare young to old. You look at what they'll look like after 30, 40 and 50.

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

Shes beautiful and over 50.

...and not with you.

1 minute ago, IsmeUno said:

Again, all very nice in theory, but there you are, paying out for a woman who does not even live with you and loads of kids with women in varied stages of mental illness according to you.

Before you freak out again, this is information that you have posted. No one is making anything up.

One, I never freak out. that's one of your assumptions leaking out. Two, I'm not paying but helping my girlfriend, something a man does. Three, I've had children with a few women and had custody of all of them, as I will this one, and their state of mental fitness is why.

Yes, I've posted this before, but some very strange members have took this information and turned it around to make themselves feel better, likely because they (you) don't know how to treat women well and then brag about having them pay for you, all the while remembering you said you've been with one for 11 years, so why are you still dating others and making them pay for meals?

2 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

My ex here is as attractive as this western woman. She's 46 now. I've been with many women like this already, most being under 40 but not all. It isn't about money in America as most women are independent after 50. It's how you treat them, listen to them, and share your life with them. Nothing to do with a schlong, although I'm hardly lacking in that anyway. I'm 69 and still look 50's, and will always look younger as that's my lifestyle. Every woman I've ever been with has been younger, and some much younger, usually by 10-15 years, before i moved here at 62.

Some women will always want money, but the normal ones still want love, and after being used a number of times, a 50+ woman knows she doesn't want to waste time with a man who acts like a boy. Money doesn't buy a normal woman happiness, and a normal woman is what I want. They have their own money by this age usually anyway, and homes, and the kids are grown and gone, so what does a woman want the most IF she's not greedy?

Good luck but it does seem delusional to me that you think you can land a woman 15-20 years younger than you that is a 9+. It happens in the movies if that counts :) It also happens if you hve sick money which you definately do not. Hot women aren't looking for men that have a past litterred with divorces and little money and are decdes older.

It's Thailand, many of us have been with hot women of all ages. Just because you have here means nothing back in the USA. I've been with hot girls in the USA but that was decades ago. At 70 and my solid(not rich)finances, I wouldn't land a hot 50 yearold in the USA.

Seriously, the best of luck and in the end, you will be fine with or without the younger hottee. There is more to life than a hot partner and there is always porn.

Just now, atpeace said:

Good luck but it does seem delusional to me that you think you can land a woman 15-20 years younger than you that is a 9+. It happens in the movies if that counts :) It also happens if you hve sick money which you definately don not. Hot women aren't looking for men that have a past litterred with divorces and little money and are decdes older.

It's Thailand, many of us have been with hot women of all ages. Just because you have here means nothing back in the USA. I've been with hot girls in the USA but that was decades ago. At 70 and my solid(not rich)finances, I wouldn't land a hot 50 yearold in the USA.

Seriously, the best of luck and in the end, you will be fine with or without the younger hottee. There is more to life than a hot partner and there is always porn.

It's not luck but knowing what a woman needs. I've been with many women and none have been less than 5's, with most 7's and above. I've been a bodybuilder all my life, and this attracted many, along with treating them well. I've never looked for greedy women after money because they aren't worth my time, nor most anyone else's. No, I don't have sick money but you assumed i didn't. Hot women in their later years are looking for decent men who will stay and be faithful. Most everyone has had a divorce and kids by the time they're 70. Your confidence, how you carry yourself, and how you treat a woman goes a long way, and they can see this. Again, decent women in their later years don't need money but a commitment. If I'm 70 and looking for a 50+, that's totally normal and accepted most everywhere, and it doesn't mean you need riches.

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