Carrion (Noun) The dead and decaying body or flesh of an animal (Vultures feed on carrion) (Webster's)

Carrion (Noun) Hillary Clinton's decision to carr(y)on her dead and decaying Presidential campaign. (Farang Prince)

Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator -

"This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."

This thread just gets better and better!

Cheers mate..... one just for you.

Fulcrum - the point on which a lever rests or is supported and on which it pivots.

Fulcrumb - The state of Jesus' lap after feeding 5000 people.

That also is a good one! Thanks!

That'll be a 276 then, not a good round.

Inarticulate - unable to speak distinctly or express oneself clearly

Inarticulaté - driving a truck full of overly milky coffee.

<deleted>, dunno wot happened then,,,,,,LOL

Gets my post total up.......hehe

US PGA Commentator -

"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .....

.........Oh my god!! What have I just said??"

-------------------------------------------------------

That reminds me of the joke about when Tiger Woods had trouble with his BMW whilst visiting England (Ireland, Scotland, Wales, wherever) the AA man (Green Flag, RAC, whatever) who attended the call noticed some golf tees in one of the door wells and asked Tiger what they were for........

"They are what I put my balls on when I am driving"

"Jesus, those Germans think of everything don't they"

Abundance - a very large quantity of something.

Abundance - choreographed bread.

New Zealand Rugby Commentator:

Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.

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Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said:

'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

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A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:

'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.

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Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:

'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

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Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:

'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

Kan Win

New Zealand Rugby Commentator:

Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said:

'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:

'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:

'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:

'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

Kan Win

Kan, these are all regurgitated posts

Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said:

"They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."

And anuvva.....

Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:

"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

Kan, these are all regurgitated posts

name='Kan Win' date=' 2004-03-09 18:50:08' post='60124'

Bet you can't read through this lot without giggling out loud at least one or twice ...

Dave

Some of the finest double entendres on British TV & Radio

Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's

only come in his shorts."

Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to

do it by himself."

Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."

Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."

Winning Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."

Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham vs Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."

The new stand at Doncaster racecourse took Brough Scott's breath away: "My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said:

"They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."

Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said: You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

US PGA Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer)is playing so well is

that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"

Metro Radio: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the

field."

Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977: "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."

Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."

New Zealand Rugby Commentator: "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."

Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator: "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

Seems like I got these in a long time before you "SIR"

The Colonel , This time Kan Win

Kan, these are all regurgitated posts

One wood have used a much better word than yours 'regurgitated'

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

re·gur·gi·tate [ri gúrji tàyt]

(past and past participle re·gur·gi·tat·ed, present participle re·gur·gi·tat·ing, 3rd person present singular re·gur·gi·tates)

verb

1. vt bring food up from stomach: to bring undigested or partially digested food up from the stomach to the mouth, as some birds and animals do to feed their young

2. vt repeat information mechanically: to repeat or reproduce what has been heard, read, or taught, in a purely mechanical way, with no evidence of personal thought or understanding

3. vi flow out: to flow out or be ejected, especially from the mouth (formal)

4. vi medicine flow in opposite direction to normal: to flow in the opposite direction to the normal or usual direction, especially through a faulty heart valve

[Late 16th century. < medieval Latin regurgitat- , past participle of regurgitare , literally "to flood back" < Latin gurges "whirlpool"]

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Recycled” was the one in my mind

Now if you do not mind, lets get back to the topic as hand, shall we.

Yours truly,

Kan Win

Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said:

"They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."

And anuvva.....

Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:

"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

and yours are fresh off the blocks then and mine are just “Recycled” 4 years on. So are yours.

Kan Win

P.S. Have a look in our Jokes Forum, I did post there today just for you "SIR"

I prefer to be original if I can........... I'll leave the regurgitatingrecycling to others.

Absolution - formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment.

Absolution - liquified stomach.

I prefer to be original if I can........... I'll leave the regurgitatingrecycling to others.

Absolution - formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment.

Absolution - liquified stomach.

Excellent Thaddeus. Kudos.

I prefer to be original if I can........... I'll leave the regurgitatingrecycling to others.

Absolution - formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment.

Absolution - liquified stomach.

Having just watched the Liverpool v Arsenal game I have absolution!

QUOTE (Zpete @ 2008-04-08 19:36:40) Kan, these are all regurgitated posts

Kan Win

One wood have used a much better word than yours 'regurgitated'

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I would have used a better word than, wood.........LOL

"Wooden" you think......PMPL.

Hey man, love the repartée.

More the merrier

.............. .......

Repartée.

1 a: a quick and witty reply

b: a succession or interchange of clever retorts : amusing and usually light sparring with words

2: adroitness and cleverness in reply : skill in repartee

Repartee - Reply to RSVP

Casuistry (Noun) The science of dealing with questions of right and wrong in conduct; Application of principles, especially with regard to morals. (Webster's)

Casuistry (Noun) A word and concept that cannot be translated into Thai. (Farang Prince)

The mobster packed his piece, to keep the peace, when going out to get a piece.

hehehehe triple entendrée......lol

The mobster packed his piece, to keep the peace, when going out to get a piece.

hehehehe triple entendrée......lol

Well done Pete. Three kudos.

Close Call: A narrow escape. (Webster's)

Close Call: Getting the Mia Noi out of the house just as the wife comes in the front door. (Farang Prince)

Close Call: Being in New York when the tanks roll in. (Thaksin Shinawatra)

Indeterminate - not certain, known, or established.

Indieterminate - What Sony do to small record labels.

Taddy, you've excelled in this thread!

Cold-blooded (Adjective) 1) Having cold blood; especially, having a body temperature that changes to approximate variations in the temperatures of the surroundings. 2) Lacking, or showing a lack, of human feelings; not moved by sympathy. (Webster's)

Cold-blooded (Adjective) A whore's heart. (Farang Prince)

With thanks to 'Chai Dee'.

Posted in "Short ones", thread.

Two Irishmen had a nightmare day visiting the sperm bank in London.

Paddy missed the tube and Murphy came on the bus.

2 double entendrées.

Taddy, you've excelled in this thread!

Cheers mate..... would you believe that it took me four attempts pass English Language 'O' Level.

Malady - a disease or ailment.

Malardy - similar to a duck.

Dive (Verb) To thrust suddenly into something, as with the body or hand. (Webster's)

Dive (Verb) That's about as close to pornography as Webster's Dictionary gets. Got me excited just reading it. I know...I need to get home soon. (Farang Prince)

Ammunition (Noun) 1) Anything that can be hurled at a target, especially anything propelled by or containing explosives, as bullets, shells, grenades and bombs. 2) Any material that may be used in attack or defense. (Webster's)

Ammunition (Noun) Any thoughtless act that you have done or stupid comment you have told your wife over the past 20 years. (Farang Prince)