We've had (briefly) the cruelty thread. Now we have the good deeds thread. But what about those things you've done in the name of revenge. Things which you've done which you felt were justified at the time because of the wrong(s) perpetrated on you.

Revenge is a form of karma, but is it as sweet as is believed ?

Have you purposefully set out to effect revenge on someone you think deserved it ? What were the circumstances ? What did you do ? Was it successful and what was the reaction or affect on the other party ? Most of all, were you satisfied with the outcome or did you leter feel remorse and guilt ?

My own story...

back a number of years now I had a girlfriend who worked in a beer bar in soi 22 in Bangkok. On first meeting her she told me she was a "bad girl" and "not love me too much", but as a foolish newbie I didn't listen to her and became her boyfriend. A year or so later it became obvious she had several other boyfriends and we parted company. I was pretty unhappy about it all but was dealing with it with the help of messrs Heineken and Carlsberg. About a week after we broke up the ex-TG comes into the bar and starts screaming at me, calling me names, tries to drag me outside for a fight, attempts to smash a bottle over my head. Just completely mental. This happened several times in various bars on the soi over the next week or so. To this day I don't know what triggered this. But later I found out she was a ya-ba user so maybe this had something to do with the ugly mood.

Anyway, fast forward about 6 months and i am having a beer in the same bar where I met the ex-TG. I had since found out that one of her other boyfriends was German and he was in Bangkok. On this particular day who should sit next to me at the bar but a German guy. We started talking and he told me his girlfriend used to work in the bar but she had stopped work and he was taking care of her. He told me her name and asked me if I knew her to which I replied "no". We talked more and it was obvious that he knew nothing about the other boyfriends. Best to let him find out in his own good time I thought. A day or two later he went back to Germany and took my ex-TG with him for a holiday.

Up to this point I was ok, but the thought of my ex-TG living it up in Germany after the hel_l she put me through when we broke up (and the lies she told me before that) got the better of me. I contacted the German embassy in Bangkok and gave them the ex-TG's name, the flight number and date of arrival and told them that she was working in Bangkok as a bar girl and had gone to Germany to work as a prostitute and was involved in drugs in Thailand. I knew that she wasn't working as a prostitute or taking drugs to Germany, but I expected the German authorities to check out the report anyway because they have a reputation for being efficient and because of the constant focus on people trafficking and drugs.

Sure enough the Germans did check her out and found some irregularities in her visa application. She was deported from Germany back to Thailand less than a week after arriving and banned from travelling back to Germany, and I presume the rest of the EU. So the result was that I had exacted revenge on the ex-TG by ruining her holiday and her chances of making some extra money (from the boyfriend, or others) while there. The German boyfriend's holiday was also ruined I presume and the ex-TG's chances of ever going to Europe with any of her other boyfriends was now also very remote.

Honestly, I felt quite happy with the result at the time, even if the German boyfriend had been inadvertently affected. Maybe I was doing him a favour. We spoke several times after the ex-TG's return and as far as I know she never suspected it was I who caused the problems for her. I left Thailand for a couple of years after that and a week or two after I returned she was arrested for ya-ba and is now in prison. My regret is that if things had worked out for her and the German maybe she wouldn't be in jail now.

A very interesting tale sibey. I must add though, revenge is not something I do (sometimes I think about it!) as I don't think it's healthy for the mind, or maybe as you allude, the karma.

Also, being human, when we exact revenge we tend to do more than equal to the wrong we've suffered. So it's seldom fair.

I used to think I could be a vengeful person. I've thought up elaborate, clever ways to get back at institutions and persons that I felt have wronged me in one way or another. I'd heard that "revenge was a dish best served cold" and would wait for opportune moments. What I discovered, that in the waiting I would lose my vengefulness and my heart and mind would move on to more constructive pursuits. So, if anyone needs a really good revenge planner, I'm available, but as to execution, you're on your own.

Well, I think it all depends on what wrong has been done to you.

As the posters before me I have had my fair share of wrongs to endure, and have spent a lot of time thinking about revenge, but in the end did not pursue, because I realized that it was mostly my pride that had been hurt.

However If someone would willingly physically hurt someone I love dearly I'm not so sure I would leave it at that.

cheers

onzestan

Guess I'm much the same as doing all the planning but rarely the execution.

Had I not spoken to the German guy just a few days before, had I not known the ex-TG was going to Germany, had the thought not popped into my head. Circumstances just seemed to be right and it was so easy to do; just an anonymous e-mail to the embassy.

Took less than 5 minutes. If it took longer it probably would never have happened.

I try never to take revenge, it is hallow in my mind. Yet the drawn to do so is strong. I just had my former boss try to get me fired after he was checking out, a last stab at me I guess. I so wanted to to beat the crap out of him, I didn't and I still have my job and freedom.

I count to ten...... less people get hurt, and you don't end up in a vicious circle.

I have never set out to take revenge on anyone that has done me wrong - i just give them the evil eye when we meet. As they say - what goes around, comes around. So i figure that i shall just wait paitiently.

I did read an amusing article in a magazine once.

There was a woman who found out her husband was cheating on her and cleaned the toilet with his toothbrush, and another who took her husband's very expensive bottles of wine out of the cellar and distributed them around the neighbourhood with the milk.

There was a woman who found out her husband was cheating on her and cleaned the toilet with his toothbrush, and another who took her husband's very expensive bottles of wine out of the cellar and distributed them around the neighbourhood with the milk.

Now that appeals to me especially if I were one of the neighbours.

I'm like lannarebirth, I get all wound up and start plotting my revenge but by the time I have a plan I've usually had a few beers and just think "what the heck?" and life rolls on.

But there is one person who is top of the list of people who have p1ssed me off who I would take great delight in stuffing (figuratively speaking) and when I get the chance there'll be no second thoughts and no regrets.

There was a woman who found out her husband was cheating on her and cleaned the toilet with his toothbrush, and another who took her husband's very expensive bottles of wine out of the cellar and distributed them around the neighbourhood with the milk.

Now that appeals to me especially if I were one of the neighbours.

I'm like lannarebirth, I get all wound up and start plotting my revenge but by the time I have a plan I've usually had a few beers and just think "what the heck?" and life rolls on.

But there is one person who is top of the list of people who have p1ssed me off who I would take great delight in stuffing (figuratively speaking) and when I get the chance there'll be no second thoughts and no regrets.

OK.....What ever I did I'm sorry !!!

There was a woman who found out her husband was cheating on her and cleaned the toilet with his toothbrush, and another who took her husband's very expensive bottles of wine out of the cellar and distributed them around the neighbourhood with the milk.

Now that appeals to me especially if I were one of the neighbours.

I'm like lannarebirth, I get all wound up and start plotting my revenge but by the time I have a plan I've usually had a few beers and just think "what the heck?" and life rolls on.

But there is one person who is top of the list of people who have p1ssed me off who I would take great delight in stuffing (figuratively speaking) and when I get the chance there'll be no second thoughts and no regrets.

OK.....What ever I did I'm sorry !!!

It's not you suiging, you're 13th on the list and up for a platinum card priority service^TM Royal pardon sometime in 2049.

No offense meant pips but, I don't believe in revenge. I tell people to P**ss off if they get on my face (except when they're doing it literally).

Thought about it many times, then thought about the potential repercussions and whimped out

The strongest I have ever done was with all the thousands of junk mails I used to get in the UK. I

used to send them all back in each other's return envelopes (which, btw, they don't pay for until they are used). I'm such a rebel

This is an email a friend sent to me about revenge - no idea if there's any truth to it, but a really good story none the less:

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with

his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set

off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in

the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house.

The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could

not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return

their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase

a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said

that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a

price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if

she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the

moving company pack everything to take to their new home.........

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the the curtain rods!!!!!!

I used to have a vengeful streak and took it very seriously. A grudge was something to be taken and nurtured until the exact right time to pay it back had arrived. Over the years I realised it was a wasteful exercise and stopped it. When I went through my divorce it all came back and after some very difficult times I was plotting my revenge. Then one day my lawyer who happened to be a good friend gave me the best piece of advice for cases such as this.

The best form of revenge to take is to go on and have a happy and meaningful life

CB

I used to have a vengeful streak and took it very seriously. A grudge was something to be taken and nurtured until the exact right time to pay it back had arrived. Over the years I realised it was a wasteful exercise and stopped it. When I went through my divorce it all came back and after some very difficult times I was plotting my revenge. Then one day my lawyer who happened to be a good friend gave me the best piece of advice for cases such as this.

The best form of revenge to take is to go on and have a happy and meaningful life

CB

Probably the best piece of advice you were ever given, CB. Would you agree? I think it's quite natural to dream-up all sort of complex, untraceable revenges on people who have wronged you but it seems that you do more harm to yourself just by thinking it. Hate can be pretty corrosive, I reckon. Well, in my experience anyway.

When I first started in business, I pissed off a guy who was doing the same thing in a different part of town. He had no reason to be angry, but he was a chronic alcoholic and junkie and a hateful person just looking for an enemy.

He hired people to destroy my property, tear down and steal my advertising, throw dog sh*t at the front of my shop every day and every thing underhanded and cowardly you could think of. Eventually he started telling everyone not to go into my shop because I was a "Jew" (I am Roman Catholic) and started spreading sordid rumors and sending me insulting and threatening e-mails every day.

I decided that I was not going to resort to anything illegal, but would just concentrate on making my business the best I could and pay him back by taking money out of his pocket.

To make a long story short, I eventually put him out of business, but he continued spreading rumors and sending me daily e-mails for a long time. I just ignored him and kept working on my business which was doing quite well by this time.

Recently it has come to my attention that he had to go back to England with his tail between his legs and live with his family.

He looks like a skeleton. He has pancreaitis from abusive drinking and cancer from all his hate and is dieing a slow painful death far away from where he wants to be, and without his drug addict wife.

God paid him back for his miserable life a lot better than I could of.

Wow.

You people are so nice it's making me sick.

Hope it's not contageous.

The best form of revenge to take is to go on and have a happy and meaningful life

CB

Probably the best piece of advice you were ever given, CB. Would you agree? I think it's quite natural to dream-up all sort of complex, untraceable revenges on people who have wronged you but it seems that you do more harm to yourself just by thinking it. Hate can be pretty corrosive, I reckon. Well, in my experience anyway.

I think so. Financially she is much better of than me, I will never recover the assets that I had but I learned a lot of painful but valuable lessons:

1) It is easier to give up than to go on

2) You can blame others or you can move past it

3) The meaning of friendship will be revealed when you have lost everything else.

I live in Thailand on reduced income and my life is not easy but I am happier and have better quality of life doing this than when I thought I had it all.

CB

Not forgetting point number four:

4. Never, ever, ever put yourself in a situation where someone else has control over your destiny (ie - don't get married!). You paying attention, KO?

Ping, I might be a bit idealistic, but I thoiught when you're married you and your spouse's destiny should be one and the same.

Well said sibeymai!

Nice one. Marriage is a wonderful thing. I have had 18 years of companionship and love. What joy! I'm a happy man.

If you would like another wife Tiggs, take mine !! Seventeen years used but still got a few miles in her !!..........Free to a good home.

If you would like another wife Tiggs, take mine !! Seventeen years used but still got a few miles in her !!..........Free to a good home.

Er, no. One is quite enough - I don't love it that much!