Worst Joke Ever

[mca]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-humor

[chrisinchaam]

A guy walking down the street sees a ladder with a sign saying CLIMB THIS LADDER TO SUCCESS he thinks why not nothing to loose. Gets to the top of the ladder and a big naked black guy says hi I'm Cess

[maidu]

A guy walking down the street sees a ladder with a sign saying CLIMB THIS LADDER TO SUCCESS he thinks why not nothing to loose. Gets to the top of the ladder and a big naked black guy says hi I'm Cess

got a chuckle from me on that one, HA

[TomTao]

Three generals, one British, on American and one Australian were talking about the soldiers in thier armies, the British general says "let me show you chaps how tough our troops are", he calls for one of his soldiers and says "you there, stop that truck with your bare hands", the soldier gives a snappy salute and says "yes sir" before running onto the road and bracing himself to stop the truck with his bare hands, the truck drives over him killing him instantly. The American general says "thats nothing, let me show you how tough our troops are", he calls over one of his soldiers and says " stand in front of that five inch gun and catch the bullet with your teeth", the soldier gives a sharp salute and shouts " sir, yes sir", he then runs off and stands with his face in the muzzle of a five inch gun, when the gun fires his head is vapourized in an instant. The Australian general says "thats not tough, let me show you tough", he points to a soldier leaning against a post having a cigarette and says "you, here, now" the soldier rolls his eyes, sighs and mumbles "what now, don't ya know its smoko?" before ambling over, giving a sloppy salute and saying "yeah sir, wadda ya want?" the genersl smiles and says "I want you go and stand in front of that speeding tank, pick it up and throw it over your shoulder", the soldier stares at him and says "are you f##**% nuts, do it ya self!" the general dismisses him and says" now that took real guts, told you ours are tougher!"

Sent from my GT-I9003 using Thaivisa Connect App

[sunshine51]

Guy walks into a bar with a piece of tarmac under his arm.

Barman asks...What'll ya have?

Guys says..."A pint for me and one for the road"

[sunshine51]

A penguin drives into a garage and tells the mechanic his car is running "rough"

then heads next door to the bar while the mechanic fixes his car.

Inside the bar the penguin orders a beer and some vanilla ice cream. Downs

the beer then gets into the vanilla ice cream.

Finishing the vanilla ice cream and paying his tab the penguin heads outside

and see's the mechanic who says..."Looks like you blew a seal."

"Oh no....it's just ice cream"...replies the penguin.

[sunshine51]

Q....What's the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it strikes your helmet visor?

A...It's a$$Hole.

[sunshine51]

Q...How do you catch a unique rhinocerous?

A...Unique up on it.

I quit while I'm ahead....

[Ron19]

Q...How do you catch a unique rhinocerous?

A...Unique up on it.

I quit while I'm ahead....

I'll get your coat for you.

[sunshine51]

Q...How do you catch a unique rhinocerous?

A...Unique up on it.

I quit while I'm ahead....

I'll get your coat for you.

Refresh me please....what's a coat?

[sunshine51]

But seriously....my last "joke" for the week.

Q...What's the difference between erotic and kinky?

A...Erotic is when you use just one feather; kinky is when you use

the whole bird.

[SuneeTH]

Q...Why did the monkey fall off the tree?

A...It die.

[Ron19]

Q...How do you catch a unique rhinocerous?

A...Unique up on it.

I quit while I'm ahead....

I'll get your coat for you.

Refresh me please....what's a coat?

A long jacket or overcoat.

[sunshine51]

Q...Why is television called a medium?

A...Because it is neither rare nor well done.

I like this coat much better.

[Ron19]

Q...Why is television called a medium?

A...Because it is neither rare nor well done.

I like this coat much better.

Sorry about the other one but it was the1st image I found that would post.

[GarryP]

Q: What is red and round and sails the seas?

A: Tomato sloop.

A very old Beano joke.

[bino]

Q...How do you catch a unique rhinocerous?

A...Unique up on it.

I quit while I'm ahead....

How do you catch a tame rhinocerous?

Tame way. Unique up on it.

Whoever is in the coatroom, get mine while you are there.

[transam]

Farang goes in a girlie bar and is approached by two girls. They say to him,

''If you take us back to your hotel room, you will think you've won the lottery''

''OK, lets go.''

Next day he told me,

''They were right, l had all six balls''

[transam]

I hear that the UK has a big immigration problem cos they all want to see their own doctor.

[Ron19]

Q...How do you catch a unique rhinocerous?

A...Unique up on it.

I quit while I'm ahead....

How do you catch a tame rhinocerous?

Tame way. Unique up on it.

Whoever is in the coatroom, get mine while you are there.

Can't find yours.You can borrow this one.

[anon21]

Man walks into a pub with a newt on his shoulder.

The barman says:"What do you call him?"

The man says: "Tiny."

The barman looks surprised and says: "Tiny? Why Tiny?"

"Because he's my newt."

Greetings from over the Silver Sea

[MrMuddle]

Man walks into a pub with a newt on his shoulder.

The barman says:"What do you call him?"

The man says: "Tiny."

The barman looks surprised and says: "Tiny? Why Tiny?"

"Because he's my newt."

Greetings from over the Silver Sea

You're VERY welcome to the forum, with jokes like that. More of the same please.

[anon21]

Thank you for the welcome MrMuddle

Did you know that Davy Crocket had three ears?

A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.

Greetings from over the Silver Sea

[anon21]

Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages?

A: By Norse code

Greetings from over the Silver Sea

[warfie]

Silver Sea, your contributions to this particular thread are... very appropriate!

Keep up the good work, but don't be surprised when you get lynched at the next Thai Visa party!

[Thaddeus]

I saw a ghost last night, looked like Gloria Gaynor, at first I was afraid, then I was petrified.

[anon21]

Thanks warfie for the warning about the lynching. At the next party I shall hang onto my coat and have a taxi waiting outside so I can make a quick exit

BTW she was only the fishmonger's daughter, but she would lie back on the slab and say fillet.

Greetings from over the Silver Sea

[Ron19]

She was only the woodcutters daughter but you could here her ring barking for miles.

[warfie]

Sister to brother, after sex... "Hey, you're better than dad!"

Brother... "I know, mom told me"

don't think that one can be beaten!

Did anyone else notice that "Mom" was spelt the "American way"?

[MrMuddle]

Thank you for the welcome MrMuddle

Did you know that Davy Crocket had three ears?

A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.

Greetings from over the Silver Sea

You're welcome - keep 'em coming, as the mamasan said to the bargirl.

I once met Vincent Van Gogh in a pub.

"Can I get you a drink", I asked him.

"No thanks, I've got one 'ere", he replied.