When asked during first ever trip to England by my friend's elderly mother what sight she liked best in London after a visit to Westminster, Mrs Arkady replied with authority, "I love Big Cock", meaning big clock, i.e. Big Ben. Then was mortified when assembled company dissolved into uncontrollable mirth.

On a flight from Amsterdam to BKK I got talking to this Thai girl about 28 or so who I noted earlier waving a tearful good bye to her boyfriend at the airport. She had spent the past two weeks meeting his family and making arrangements for their spring wedding and was returning to the family farm in Udon Thani. I asked her why was she crying? Because she missed her boyfriend? No she said. He very mean. Why is that I said? He take me to small boring island for holiday. He wants to have the wedding there. it's very old an have no cars or motorbikes and water everywhere. Just have old people boats and buildings! You have probably guessed it ... VENICE!

I hope the Dutch guy drew up a pre-nup agreement.

February, in Glasgow - "Why is the sky so low?"

A poignant comment just after arriving in Australia. Wife, when she saw an old lady carrying her shopping along a street, "Why are they bad heart & not help mama".

On a day trip to London, "Where are all the white people?"

Sadly there was a lot of truth in that statement

just remembered this. it was after midnight, October 1985, when we left Sydney Airport and headed for the Hawkesbury River (Mooney Mooney). This entailed driving through Sydney, across the Harbour Bridge, North Sydney and beyond.

By the time we exited the north end of the harbour bridge she was somewhat bewilded and asked me where all the people were.

Where they sell Mullberry meh?

TGF first day in melbourne Wednesday this week.....with the look of amazement....."no people here"

Friday driving cross town...."we're is your slums here?" As we approached a 60 year old goverment housing area, "this is the closest to a slum miss" .....looking she replies...." This look like BkK"

Trying to work out how a kitchen flick master tap works....with inquisitive look followed by "how this work." Points out hot is left cold is right lifting up and down controls flow...." O ....hot water"