Things I Have Learned From Air Travel This Year *

Do you seem to spend more time 'up there' then 'down here'?

Do your Frequent Flyer points equal, in number to the population of China?

Have you learnt, in all these trips some secrets in travelling you'd like to share?

These are a few I read recently ...

• Barfighting is not what it used to be. According to one very verbose Englishman who sat next to me for one very long flight, you used to put your boot on a guy's neck, he would give up, and then you'd shake hands and have a beer. Now, guys kick guys when they're down.

• You can order two beer-and-whiskey combos on a flight that departs at eleven AM, and the flight attendant will still bring you a third one without batting an eye (see above Englishman).

• A surprising percentage of people sing and/or hum to themselves constantly.

• Your hard earned tip (or two) to add ...

* I have unashamedly nicked the idea from here

.

I learn't that Scoot on flights BKK - Oz charge $400 to change dates, (any dates) plus the flights more than double in price about 2 days before.

($200+ per sector) Bad form Scoot.

That Emirates Business Class is a jumped up premium economy.

The last non-fish entree always goes to the person in front of me.

The person with the greatest body mass will sit next to me and ooze into my territory.

Seat-kickng kids ALWAYS directly behind.

The woman in the window seat will need to pee every hour; on the hour.

The seatback in front of me will recline one notch further than anybody else's

Mine will recline one notch less.

The smell of breakfast cooking in the galley could make a mortician puke..

The last apple juice goes to the same passenger that got the last meat entree.

The movie playing across and down from me always looks so much more interesting.......

That Emirates Business Class is a jumped up premium economy.

And UNITED's Premium Economy is a notch below most standard economy's.

The person who has the free seat next to you will always arrive a second before they close the doors.

That Aegean only award 50% miles for EVA premium economy, but 100% for economy!

Whenever I travel now I just expect the worst.If it's not A catastraphie then I have A nice flight.I believe all obese people should have seats next to each other.As it goes now they put them next to thin people.

To each and every reply ... they all made me smile ...

Fun contributions.

Regardless of how caring and fun loving they seem on their commercials, airlines and (most of) their employees are doing it for the money.

During turbulence, it's easier to pee in the basin than the crapper.

That servicewise some airlines do it right, but most don't.

The attitude of on board staff depends on the age and amount of wear and tear of the aircraft.

Security is outsourced to the lowest bidder.

etc.etc.etc.

Yermanee

That servicewise some airlines do it right, but most don't.

The attitude of on board staff depends on the age and amount of wear and tear of the aircraft.

Security is outsourced to the lowest bidder.

etc.etc.etc.

Yermanee

The attitude of on board staff depends on the age and amount of wear and tear on that staff.

Fixed it fer ya.

I've found that on US airlines, the international assignments go to the staff with the most seniority. Many of them seem worn out and have bad attitudes because of the way the airlines have been treating them since deregulation. Not that I blame them after I've heard some of their horror stories.

Some of them, in fairness, are great. Others should have hung it up many moons ago.

That servicewise some airlines do it right, but most don't.

The attitude of on board staff depends on the age and amount of wear and tear of the aircraft.

Security is outsourced to the lowest bidder.

etc.etc.etc.

Yermanee

The attitude of on board staff depends on the age and amount of wear and tear on that staff.

Fixed it fer ya.

I've found that on US airlines, the international assignments go to the staff with the most seniority. Many of them seem worn out and have bad attitudes because of the way the airlines have been treating them since deregulation. Not that I blame them after I've heard some of their horror stories.

Some of them, in fairness, are great. Others should have hung it up many moons ago.

Well that's mighty nice of you, but I don't think it needed fixing.

I meant exactly what I wrote i.e. if the aircraft's interior is tatty, the FA's are less likely to enjoy they're working environment and this reflects on their attitude.

But thanks anyway

Yermanee

That Emirates Business Class is a jumped up premium economy.

Can't agree with that.

At least between DXB and BKK I get a comfortable full flat bed (and I'm 6ft 4") plus the food and drink of course.

During turbulence, it's easier to pee in the basin than the crapper.

Same at home when things are a bit wobbly lol

That starting a third subsidiary (called 'Thai Smile') still didn't fix Thai Airways' financial problems, as we cynics had already predicted, perhaps they'll try a fourth one & get it right next year ?

That various people at AAT can announce expansion at Swampy as often as they want, but nothing actually improves, until the builders start doing something, which isn't yet alas.

That the security guys at BOM/Mumbai remain world-champions of morose slow service ?

That, despite the steady rebuilding/improvements at LHR, I'm still always delighted when the wheels lift off the runway !

That airline-food, which I'd thought couldn't possibly get any worse, has yet-again succeeded in doing just that ?

That the world, as seen from my window-seat, becomes ever more like an anthill ?

That airline-hostesses are looking younger and younger, these days !

That Duty-Free shopping becomes ever more trivial and expensive ?

That my personal prayers on take-off did indeed help the flight-crew, for yet another year ?

That the British Airways' Concorde, parked outside their hangers at LHR, remains a dream in high-tech & style !

That airlines can still find ways to cram even more seats, into the economy sections, of the same airframes ?

From the Asiana video, it's obvious that Boeing make a sturdy aircraft.

Turbulence continues to strike unexpectedly, wear those belts.

Jet lag is a monumental pain that you never get used to.

Certain nationalities seem hell bent on standing up whilst the aircraft is taxying towards it's stand. Logic anyone ?

It's a serious business, with no room for complacency, particularly when sat at the pointy end.

That Emirates Business Class is a jumped up premium economy.

Can't agree with that.

At least between DXB and BKK I get a comfortable full flat bed (and I'm 6ft 4") plus the food and drink of course.

And I fully agree if the only route I flew was on an A380 but I am paying premium fares for far less then premium service. Try a 777 long haul and tell me its OK. As a one off maybe OK but I am a regular Business traveller and their offering does not meet the standard. Please do not get me started on Mumbai Bus Station (Emirates Business Lounge in DXB)

• Barfighting is not what it used to be. According to one very verbose Englishman who sat next to me for one very long flight, you used to put your boot on a guy's neck, he would give up, and then you'd shake hands and have a beer. Now, guys kick guys when they're down.

What better time to kick a man than when he is down,

His convenient boot level location would significantly reduce lower back strain injuries by 50%

That Emirates Business Class is a jumped up premium economy.

Can't agree with that.

At least between DXB and BKK I get a comfortable full flat bed (and I'm 6ft 4") plus the food and drink of course.

And I fully agree if the only route I flew was on an A380 but I am paying premium fares for far less then premium service. Try a 777 long haul and tell me its OK. As a one off maybe OK but I am a regular Business traveller and their offering does not meet the standard. Please do not get me started on Mumbai Bus Station (Emirates Business Lounge in DXB)

Ha ha, I'm never there long enough to use it but get your gist.

From the Asiana video, it's obvious that Boeing make a sturdy aircraft.

Turbulence continues to strike unexpectedly, wear those belts.

Jet lag is a monumental pain that you never get used to.

Certain nationalities seem hell bent on standing up whilst the aircraft is taxying towards it's stand. Logic anyone ?

It's a serious business, with no room for complacency, particularly when sat at the pointy end.

I seem to have used up my daily quota of 'likes'.

All good points.

Going from BKK to US or Canada, jet lag seems to take at least 1 week to get over.

Crossing the IDL always gets me, especially when you land 'earlier' local than when you left, after some 13 hours.

The return never seems much of a problem. Same with BKK to Europe.

That starting a third subsidiary (called 'Thai Smile') still didn't fix Thai Airways' financial problems, as we cynics had already predicted, perhaps they'll try a fourth one & get it right next year ?

That various people at AAT can announce expansion at Swampy as often as they want, but nothing actually improves, until the builders start doing something, which isn't yet alas.

That the security guys at BOM/Mumbai remain world-champions of morose slow service ?

That, despite the steady rebuilding/improvements at LHR, I'm still always delighted when the wheels lift off the runway !

That airline-food, which I'd thought couldn't possibly get any worse, has yet-again succeeded in doing just that ?

That the world, as seen from my window-seat, becomes ever more like an anthill ?

That airline-hostesses are looking younger and younger, these days !

That Duty-Free shopping becomes ever more trivial and expensive ?

That my personal prayers on take-off did indeed help the flight-crew, for yet another year ?

That the British Airways' Concorde, parked outside their hangers at LHR, remains a dream in high-tech & style !

That airlines can still find ways to cram even more seats, into the economy sections, of the same airframes ?

Have to agree most points.

Hostesses? A certain major British airline seems recent years to have changed policy into employing overweight, less attractive and lazy. Stark contrast to the Asian and ME carriers.

Duty free - don't even think about it.

Seating: Flughansa and their Austrian subsidiary have got cramming the maximum number of seats in a cabin to a fine art. Have spent several flights in the 'disabled' toilet just for some legroom.

Food has generally improved. Turkish Airlines Economy are excellent, but try to avoid much of a layover in Istanbul. Same applies to Doha and Amman.

Some carriers now do 'cooked to order' anytime in Biz. Can't beat that on long haul, especially Qantas.

Have an enjoyable Christmas season

Well ... I learning a lot.

I have but one to add ... (almost *) every dish on the AirAsia Menu is chicken ... even the Hot Dog is made from Chicken fat Meat.

* I did see a Tuna wrap on the menu.

Never call an Aus airhostess a trolly dolly!

Complete sense of humor failure will result

As an aside ... does anyone have any connections within Scoot?

I've been trying to resolve an issue there for a month and a half, I just keep getting stonewalled ...

PM me if you can help.

Never call an Aus airhostess a trolly dolly!

Complete sense of humor failure will result

Especially when he's male.

They all seem to have a good sense of humour though.

Thinking about it, Qantas probably my favourite airline, (and I'm a Pom)

A little patience and understanding can make a long journey much more enjoyable, for both the aircrews and the passenger.

I do not feel as if I am really 'on my way' until the FA take their seats for take off

After years of flying you can either use the knowledge to make your flight as agreeable as possible, or the experience to 'nitpick'

Man was not designed to travel at 500mph

"Food has generally improved. Turkish Airlines Economy are excellent, but try to avoid much of a layover in Istanbul."

Unless you are STAR ALLIANCE GOLD or above. The Istanbul STAR ALLIANCE lounge is IMHO the finest in the world, It's like a movie set from another age.

Tall brass and silver samovars dispense exotic teas, Turkish coffee brewed to order. Tables laden with a huge variety of sweets and pastries and kababs also cooked to order.

The room is furnished with club like overstuffed chairs and sofas; the floors covered with oriental rugs.

My 3 hour layover there was way too short.

That airport security is very inconsistent around the world.

Belt off here, not there. Shoes off there, but not here. Wallet in the tray here, but not there. .... and any combination thereof.