In love with thai girl married to thai man

[tekNique]

   Im in an awkward situation that I haven't seen occur before.   I'll try to keep the explation as short as possible as im unsure of what to do next.

 

 Im a farang from Australia, I met a girl on a thai dating website it stated that she was separated so I was okay with that.    We got pretty serious online and started skyping every night, she changed her profile to say she was no longer looking for someone and found someone.               So I knew she was serious about me and wasn't just a gik I also believed this from our video conversations.       We skyped for about 2 months, I then went to Thailand for 2 weeks to go see her (I just got back 2 days ago)

 

 When I went to Thailand she met me at the airport and stayed with me for 2 weeks in various hotels.     On the second day she was with me her Thai husband emailed saying " I hate you you destroy my family ec ect" (he had hacked into her email account and got my email address )   I replied to him I did not and that as far as Im aware she is separated and that I love her very much and only care for her happiness.                 She then got on the phone and talked to him and her mother (her mother wanted her to return as well)     I said I understand if she has to go but she ended up staying with me.

 

 We had a great to weeks sure the sex was great, if it was only sex I could walk away easy, but it is more than that we are like great companions we laugh together so much and have so much fun together.      As you would say in the west we are like partners, we are lovers but also great friends and care very much about each other.

 

 After I left she was going to go home to get some stuff then rent an apartment but when she went home her husband and mum have made her a virtual hostage.    They have locked her inside and smashed her iphone so she can no longer email or communicate with me.     I know this as her friends have emailed what has happened and I can communicate with her abit through her friends but it isn't easy as they don't speak English well.

 

 She has said that under thai law she cannot divorce him as he does not want divorce and he has not hit her or the like.    On of the emails he sent to me said for divorce cost $30,000 US dollars.    I guess this a bribe as a divorce does not cost this much.     I would pay this for her freedom if I could but I cant as iam not a rich man and I recently bought my first house in Australia so a lot of my savings went to the deposit. 

 

 Im at a lost as what to do?    As I don't want to lose her, if it was just sex I could walk away easy but its more than that.      Im on a big down now after returning home as weve been communicating everyday for 2-3 months and now I can no longer speak with her.

 

Any advice, can I tell her friends to tell her to tell the police that she has had her possessions smashed and is being held against her will?   Or will they not care as he his her husband and she is her mum.

 

This is truly a situation I didn't see happening when I first planned my trip to Thailand.  

 

[moose7117]

mate she is an honest and wonderful girl !

so pay up , its that simple !

 

p.s. i have a bridge for sale that has toll gates and everything , its in a central location in Sydney and i will part with it cheap.

 

 

[tekNique]

 I know it looks stupid, I know there is 1000's of stories that state "but we really love each other"......but you know there is the one in a thousand that really do.          I have had a relationship with a thai woman before for 8 years so im not oblivious to thai culture.

 

 Yes she is not an educated girl.    She was married at 19 and is now 26 and no longer loves this man, she wants out but he wont let her even though of her infidelity with me.       She is of good heart and only wants her freedom from a loveless marriage I believe this, I never gave her money of any kind.        Her mother and Thai husband knew I was coming to Thailand to see her and were okay with it but once it actually happened jealousy kicked in and they changed there tune.           It is like a story of forbidden love.

 

 I want to know if there is anything she can do to get divorce under thai law, without me having to pay bribe to husband.

Edited April 23, 2014 by tekNique

[Mrjlh]

Just take a long pause....Longer.....if she screwed around on him, why do you think she won't do it to you?  Don't walk...run if you have too...especially in this case. By her posting on a dating site, it appears she is looking to get away from her current situation.  Her problem not yours.  Any woman can be very alluring to get what they want. You got caught in her trap. If in 1 year she's still available without him, then maybe then go for it.  Otherwise, bow out completely not matter what may be the end result for her. Relationships built on deceit never work out in the end.

[pbay]

So you are in love with a Thai girl that you have only spent two weeks with and she jumped into bed with you straight away? Warnings lights are flashing everywhere.

[cheekychops]

It will only cost you $30kUS payment for a divorce?

 

On payment your new tilak will have a change of heart and decide to stay with her husband.

Edited April 23, 2014 by cheekychops

[cheekychops]

 I know it looks stupid, I know there is 1000's of stories that state "but we really love each other"......but you know there is the one in a thousand that really do.          I have had a relationship with a thai woman before for 8 years so im not oblivious to thai culture.

 

 Yes she is not an educated girl.    She was married at 19 and is now 26 and no longer loves this man, she wants out but he wont let her even though of her infidelity with me.       She is of good heart and only wants her freedom from a loveless marriage I believe this, I never gave her money of any kind.        Her mother and Thai husband knew I was coming to Thailand to see her and were okay with it but once it actually happened jealousy kicked in and they changed there tune.           It is like a story of forbidden love.

 

 I want to know if there is anything she can do to get divorce under thai law, without me having to pay bribe to husband.

 

Are you forgetting that yoy first you have to rescue the princess from her chained captivity and the clutches of her wicked mother and evil husband

[Upnotover]

If the OP's story is in fact true, then HER story most certainly isn't.  Locked up, smashed phone, hacked email, snippets of information coming from "friends", just a well worked scam in progress.

[tekNique]

 I know, but we skyped every day for 2 months for like 2 hours a day so I didn't just fall in love over 2 weeks.  You learn a lot about each other when you video call each other this much so I already had feelings for her before I went to Thailand.            I don't believe she would Skype with me this much if she wasn't really interested me as she was always asking in email "you Skype tonight mai".                    Its to much time to just try and scam someone, a scammer or some one who just wanted a gik payment wouldn't invest that much time.

 

 I appreciate all replies, cynicism included as I need to look from different view points as I feel quite confused at the moment.   Mrjlh I appreciate your post mak.

[Rumblecat]

I understand that none of us were there so we can't have experienced what you have, OP, but I would be cautious. And I'd seriously think about learning Thai if you want to be with a Thai person, as it should be top of your list of things to do, would make communication and situations like this easier.

 

Can I ask what she did for a job? Or who bought her the iPhone? 

And she could divorce him. It is possible. 

http://www.siam-legal.com/legal_services/Thailand-Contested-Divorce-Faqs.php

 

But also think long term. You've just invested in a house in Australia. Do you really want to be getting into a relationship with a married woman, who lives in another country, and speaks a different language from you? You're setting yourself up for a long rocky road it feels... 

[overherebc]

As far as I am aware the divorce consists of signing a paper in the local office and costs a few hundred baht.

 

30,000 dollars !!!!!!!

[nonthaburial]

It never fails to amaze me how so many people securely lock the front door but leave the windows and back door wide open.

My advice would be to lock the windows and back door then walk away fast, there are giant red flags everywhere.

[asdecas]

You've had a previous eight-year relationship with a Thai woman but you still don't see this one coming? Mate, it's a road train.

[Oreganobag]

A 2 month scam for $30000 is not too long. It's a long con. $30000 is more than what most thais make in 5 years.

 

If its not a scam, do you really want to be with a girl that has baggage like this? In 2 months you can find a new girl on your dating site and fall in love alllll over again. Nostalgia is great!

[tekNique]

And she could divorce him. It is possible. 

http://www.siam-legal.com/legal_services/Thailand-Contested-Divorce-Faqs.php

 

But also think long term. You've just invested in a house in Australia. Do you really want to be getting into a relationship with a married woman, who lives in another country, and speaks a different language from you? You're setting yourself up for a long rocky road it feels... 

 thanks for link I think the problem is she has no grounds for divorce under thai law even though she dosent love him, in our culture we can divorce because no longer love.     She works in an embroidery type place that her husband or mum owns, she essentially does stuff all.   

 

 She does the design on the computer or something and has a lot of spare time on the PC when I Skype with her she was skyping from work and I even saw her ma a few times.    I not sure where iphone came from.             I do speak basic thai and I was going to go to after hours tafe college here in Oz to learn more on my return.

 

http://s5.photobucket.com/user/jasurat/media/1609992_721595474552057_1868331062_n.jpg.html  This her at work.

 

 I don't think it is a joint scam from her and thai husband to extract money from me as I know his facebook account (both her and him don't know I know this) and he wrote on facebook about her going with me, whether to try make her lose face im not sure, if was scam he wouldn't..    Is very complicated situation.     I think I just have to wait till she speaks directly with me again then ask the tough questions.

 

 

 I don't think scam she just wants her freedom because she is trapped, in work and in life.    At the worst I had a great holiday with thai guide and companion who saved me paying farang price on many things.   Truly was a happy two weeks.    I have my doubts too, but I have not lost faith in her yet I wait to speak to her directly as he cant keep her in the house forever.       I wont be paying him off to divorce her unless I win lotto

Edited April 23, 2014 by tekNique

[Andrew65]

Teknique,

 

A few years ago I thought that I would give the e-dating thing a go. Like you, I wanted something more meaningful/monogomous.

 

Met a beautiful girl who had a great job with a television production company.

 

Turned out that she was seeing someone else right from the start, an American guy who picked up the phone when I called one day!

 

Haven't bothered with anyone else since, I've got very cynical about this in recent years.

 

I can't offer any advice, but I hope this all turns out well for you!

[unanimosity]

 I know it looks stupid, I know there is 1000's of stories that state "but we really love each other"......but you know there is the one in a thousand that really do.          I have had a relationship with a thai woman before for 8 years so im not oblivious to thai culture.

 

 Yes she is not an educated girl.    She was married at 19 and is now 26 and no longer loves this man, she wants out but he wont let her even though of her infidelity with me.       She is of good heart and only wants her freedom from a loveless marriage I believe this, I never gave her money of any kind.        Her mother and Thai husband knew I was coming to Thailand to see her and were okay with it but once it actually happened jealousy kicked in and they changed there tune.           It is like a story of forbidden love.

 

 I want to know if there is anything she can do to get divorce under thai law, without me having to pay bribe to husband.

 

What every farang says about pit bulls and Thai girl friends, "But mine is different."

[ezzra]

Could be a ploy to get money out of you and than bye bye, don't pay, give her back, and if you

are suppose to be together, you will be but not under these conditions...

[unanimosity]

 I know, but we skyped every day for 2 months for like 2 hours a day so I didn't just fall in love over 2 weeks.  You learn a lot about each other when you video call each other this much so I already had feelings for her before I went to Thailand.            I don't believe she would Skype with me this much if she wasn't really interested me as she was always asking in email "you Skype tonight mai".                    Its to much time to just try and scam someone, a scammer or some one who just wanted a gik payment wouldn't invest that much time.

 

 I appreciate all replies, cynicism included as I need to look from different view points as I feel quite confused at the moment.   Mrjlh I appreciate your post mak.

 

Tell you what, after you have had a few dozen Thai ladies, all of whom will laugh with you and provide great sex (they are in every bar BTW) you will be able to reevaluate your situation.

 

Did it occur to you to find out how and why she knows English? Only bar girls and international business executives speak English in Thailand.

 

If you are smart, you will call the husband and tell him for US$ 15,000 you will disappear and let him have his family back. Be careful about the collection arrangements. Do not accept the cash in person have it wired. Over and out.

[ezzra]

mate she is an honest and wonderful girl !

so pay up , its that simple !

 

p.s. i have a bridge for sale that has toll gates and everything , its in a central location in Sydney and i will part with it cheap.

 

 

 

I'm very serious, how much are you asking for the bridge and can I have few

pictures to see what it looks like please??

[stickylies]

[cardinalblue]

Do you really want to be another guy who is played?

 

Some relationship...two weeks...and you have to pay 30k...

 

My guess this is a major scam and could be you're 3rd or 4th in the procession?

 

Many decent Thai ladies available so start looking for one....

 

Would you do/act the same in Australia? I doubt it...

 

CB 

[brucegoniners]

I think you need to take a look in the mirror.  A couple weeks together and you're willing to put up with all this BS?

 

Run, don't walk...

[11alvin11]

Mate, get the services of a private investigator to sort these out for you. Or better still, get a reliable friend to try chat her up on the dating site to see if she bites. Make sure it's a very attractive profile. Give it 1 month to assess results.

Then make your call pending results.

Hope this helps.

[tomyumchai]

pay the $30,000. that will get him his new pick up and then she will suddenly be 'free' to see you again. make sure you always lock your doors, sit right at the back of bars so you can see whos coming in and record and translate EVERY conversation she has on her new iphone that you buy her.

 

 

................hes gonna need $20,000 more dollars to bolt all the extras to his truck........you think im joking, right?

[H1w4yR1da]

So you are in love with a Thai girl that you have only spent two weeks with and she jumped into bed with you straight away? Warnings lights are flashing everywhere.

Yep! Alarm bells are ringing, Willie!

It's a scam.

Run!

 

 I know, but we skyped every day for 2 months for like 2 hours a day so I didn't just fall in love over 2 weeks.  You learn a lot about each other when you video call each other this much so I already had feelings for her before I went to Thailand.            I don't believe she would Skype with me this much if she wasn't really interested me as she was always asking in email "you Skype tonight mai".                    Its to much time to just try and scam someone, a scammer or some one who just wanted a gik payment wouldn't invest that much time.

Are you really this naive? Shocking! Sorry to be blunt but your comments above show you to be outrageously gullible.

It's just a scam invented probably by her husband for some quick cash.

Wake up!

 

But as a poster said earlier, it's probably just a troll thread.

Edited April 23, 2014 by H1w4yR1da

[Phoenix1312]

Mate I am an Aussie woman. I am telling you and please take note. You are being scammed. If you pay the money, you will never see her or your money again. I know this as it happened to my friend. Please take my advise, LET IT GO..

[HeavyDrinker]

I can only agree with the overriding sentiment here. As soon as I read through your post I was waiting for the sum of money to appear and sure enough it was...

These dating sites are full of scammers trawling for victims.....

The chances are very real that your new 'love' is probably getting into bed with this man she 'hates' every night and having a good laugh. Some blokes here don't mind whoring out their wives here if there's a chance of landing a big payday from some mug in it for them down the line. The wife will play along because she believes every word of BS he tells here and probably has since the first day she laid eyes on him.

Walk away...plenty more fish in the sea etc....

[stickylies]

These dating sites are full of scammers trawling for victims.....

 

and advertising on TV (via google adds too)

[how241]

So you are in love with a Thai girl that you have only spent two weeks with and she jumped into bed with you straight away? Warnings lights are flashing everywhere.

+1...She is playing you  with the help of the husband.