Married a Thai and appear to do nothing right !

[tracker1]

I married a so called university educated woman who now appears to think I do nothing right, every time things happen she says thais dont do this or thais dont do that eg raise their voice, starting to really piss me off I work from sun up to sun down doing washing, washing up, repairs around the home,cooking maybe I should get out and start drinking and socializing instead of being an unpaid paying servant and stay at home husband! and the stupid comments she makes are just plain annoying

[balo]

Who knows, maybe she just married you for the money .

[Choonpon]

You should go out often, not coop at home every day. Sounds like a tyrant wife you have. The more you stay at home doing those housework, the less she will think/respect of you.

I have a friend whose wife is like that too.

[NanLaew]

While you are working "from sun up to sun down doing washing, washing up, repairs around the home,cooking maybe", what is your wife doing? Apart from barking I mean.

[kurnell]

You are a man right?

[tracker1]

You are a man right?

highly unlikely

Just because some people sit around all day drinking piss and expect their wife to do everything doesnt include me

[HeavyDrinker]

You are a man right?

highly unlikely

Just because some people sit around all day drinking piss and expect their wife to do everything doesnt include me

It sounds like you wouldn't be allowed to drink piss. Most people take or have a degree of control of their lives. Sounds to me like you need to sit her down and have a talk with her (if she gives you permission to do so). Apologies for sounding flippant however, it sounds like you answered your own question in your OP. Defy the woman and live your own life.

[ThaidDown]

Another post where I would like to hear the other sides view before passing judgement.

[Payboy]

The right thing to do in this situation is to buy a hammock and hang out with your friends at the street corner.

[IMA_FARANG]

Tell me about it.

My difference is we were never married.

I had several long and intense conversations with her about that point.(I suppose you could call them arguments)

I warned her a few times that if she kept disrespecting me I would simply leave.

All her children were grown, working and living on their own. No need for me to take care of anyone (including her).

I helped raise those children and supported that family for 30 years. Don't get me wrong, there were some good times also.

And yes, I loved her ...really still do.

Just can't live with her now.

One day, she insulted me again, so I just kissed her goodbye and left.

Maybe, sometime, I'll go back and see how she's doing now.

Or maybe not.

I'm perfectly happy being MYSELF, and always have been.

Edited May 28, 2014 by IMA_FARANG

[nottocus]

OP.Does she work?

[Cam Khao]

Unfortunately, gaining a university degree does not automatically imbue the holder with moral fiber, good manners, common sense or respect for their fellow man.

[kurnell]

You are a man right?

highly unlikely

Just because some people sit around all day drinking piss and expect their wife to do everything doesnt include me

A little more swagger when you are being a man. Cursing can be very butch. You should try it.

[tracker1]

OP.Does she work?

sure does 5 days a week thats why I dont mind helping out up to a point

[uptheos]

Unfortunately, gaining a university degree does not automatically imbue the holder with moral fiber, good manners, common sense or respect for their fellow man.

No, but it will get you on the shortlist at 7/11.

[Phoenix1312]

Really? Why are you putting up with this treatment? Sounds like she is not happy with you. People don't pick on each other if the are happy.

[transam]

OP, join the club.......

If I fix something that now works it seems I did it wrong.................. .........................

I talk to myself now cos I don't answer back...............

[iancnx]

Find some home help. Geeze, my housekeeper cost me 6000 per month. My missus works full time. I spend all day doing what I want to do most of the time.

[Johnnie99]

To my mind, and I may be biased, but the words "Thai" and 'hi-so' simply do not go together.

[ezzra]

Three things have been difficult to tame: the oceans, fools and women. We may soon be able to tame the oceans; fools and women will take a little longer
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/s/spirotagn204702.html#5cVObC5rDBKM8u00.99

Spiro Agnew said it best : three thing difficult have been tame, the ocean, fools

and women... we may soon be able to tame the ocean, however taming women

and fools may take a little bit longer....

[ianf]

Sounds like you married my ex-wife.

[Suradit69]

instead of being an unpaid paying servant

All things considered, she appears to have married beneath her own class and realizes the dreadful mistake she made. What did she original find attractive in you? ... aside from the fact that you apparently do windows.

Edited May 28, 2014 by Suradit69

[kingstonkid]

In a simple phrase;

GET A LIFE

You need to have your own life. There are many of us here that have almost been in your shoes. The difference is we do not stay home all day every day.

Surely you do not spend every day working all day at home.

Think of teh old stereotype of the housewife.

You are now in that boat. All she sees you doing while I take it she is at work is sitting around doing nothing.

Other side of the coin how often do you and her go out for dinner or dancing or such.

how do you treat her when she comes home?

[Lancelot]

Hey, knock it off, the OP has some valid points Many TV members have the same problems, but are afraid to come forward. OP, most hi so girls are connected, so try talking to her Daddy, you know the finance minister... or one of her police general brothers

[AlphMichaels]

Pack your bags, tell her how you feel and get outta there as fast as you can. And as a sidebar..., this isn't about a Thai lady...., it's about a lady who doesn't love you. I'd venture a guess she doesn't even like you.

Sorry to be the harbinger of bad news but I've had too many buddies show up at my doorstep after dealing with crap like yours who said "You were right all along..., why didn't I listen then?"

Good luck

[Donnie Brasco]

You have made yourself her maid/butler/manservant/whipping boy.

She likely needed some way to piss off her dreadful parents.

Marriage to a farangledangle was the equivalent thing to pumping Daddy's driver. Or she was damaged goods and lucky you got to cover the play.

Anyway she sounds bored with you.

Suggest you spice up your life by hiring a maid.

So:

Git yerself down to some nasty-@$$ rascal bar and bar fine the cutest tart you can persuade for a week or so.

Introduce her as the maid of a friend who had to leave for Europe for a month or do so she can't make you fire her.

OR

Introduce her to BDSM ritual starting with a fashionable array of the latest Velcro and webbing restraints, ball-gag and a Symbian with a Turbo setting.

Tell her it's all Japanese.

OR

Put a tail on her and find out who (from her old party circuit) she is shagging. Film it and post it online.

Come to think of it. Film ALL this stuff and post it online. Or produce a soap series sitcom about farangs like you who get trapped into this crap.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Edited May 28, 2014 by Donnie Brasco

[abhaya]

"she says thais dont do this or thais dont do that", but Thai guys definitely get mia nois. Kindly thank her for schooling you in the nuances of Thai culture and get someone (or two) on the side as is expected of Thai man.

[lahgon29]

To my mind, and I may be biased, but the words "Thai" and 'hi-so' simply do not go together.

I don't think university educated and hi so go together either. My missus did 4 years at Ubon uni in accounting, has no drive or ambition, knows next to nothing about outside Thailand [and not a lot of inside], loves to sleep, facebook and watch TV. She buys nothing brand name, by choice and prides herself when she gets a good second hand jeans deal. She's pretty dark, to boot. DEFINITELY not hi so. Her 3 sisters from the same village/farm are uni educated and anything but hi so.

It's pretty easy to spot hi so/s at Central Plaza, and I'm sure they don't all have degrees.

[Briggsy]

She either

has become contemptuous towards you

or

she is a habitual complainer towards everyone.

'Contemptuous' Reason

Well, you know the old adage, familiarity breeds contempt. It could be that. It could be that fact that Thai women are expected to either by humble towards their husbands (read: subordinate) or terrible nags (read: dominant). By assuming the subordinate position you have pushed here into the dominant position which she has fully embraced. Thai husbands are either stereotypically demanding, violent, alcoholic, ill-mannered, inconsiderate and philandering (dominant) or just alcoholic (subordinate). Since you are none of the former by your own admission, you must be the subordinate latter.

'Habitual Complainer' Reason

There will be no change.

Course of Action

State exactly what you want. Do not use too many words or go on at length.

[Rumblecat]

It's possible she's treating you like this because she frustrated at you staying home all day while she's out working. Sure, you might be washing, cleaning, ironing, fixing things, but to her it'll be like you're taking it easy and relaxing. It's the housewife's curse- a mix of tedium and not being appreciated.

You need to construct a life of you own. Whether it's attending a school to learn Thai, social groups, whatever- you need to claim back some of your life and your social standing in the house.

And you need to have a proper talk with your wife. Not to your wife, or at your wife, but with her. Presumably you were able to communicate properly before (otherwise why get married to her), so you need to find out if she's really angry about your level of skill at the tasks you are doing, or whether there's something deeper going on.

It's your marriage.