In 10 Years I Have Never Had A Conversation With A Thai

[bowerboy]

Last week I was in Indonesia visiting clients and agents there. I spent a lot of time hanging out in cars, bars and restaurants with the Indonesians and something really stuck me. We had real and meaningful conversations and I was genuinely interested in what they had to say and they were genuinely interested in what I had to say. We exchanged ideas and thoughts and it struck me how "normal" it was to be talking with these guys. They were just offering their opinions and pointing out the pros and cons of different things in general and just general chit chat on a wide range of topics from sports to business to our industry to preferred pets.

As we were driving through Jakarta (or rather stuck in traffic again!) one guy was telling me about his pets and how much he loves his little hamster and describing what the hamster does at meal times. It really struck me deeply then that I have NEVER had a conversation with a Thai (not even as simple as what pets they like or why they liked a movie or why they like a certain area or whatever). I have talked at them and tried to encourage them to talk but in 10 years I cant recall anything other than a vague response or a yes or no. Never a thought or opinion or anything of any real interest or insight.

In 10 years here I have worked alongside Thais and also as a boss. Always with people that spoke excellent English and always in the medical or engineering professions. I have been on holidays, been bar hopping, been on long road trips and frequent lunches with loads of Thais over the years and honestly in all that time I cannot remember ever having had a conversation of any kind. It is nearly always questions or thoughts from me followed by yes or no answers. Any open ended question or conversation starter always ends soon after with "mai loo" (I dont know).

Do Thais have conversations among themselves that are of any real subtstance? As far as I can tell it is only ever about food or lottery numbers.

Classic example: Did a client visit to Malaysia recently with a Thai engineer from work. He has worked side by side and closely with another Thai lady in our office for 6 years now. I have known that lady for maybe 3 or 4 weeks but I already know that her husband has an extremely interesting and unusual job (he is Thai and so is she and his job is interesting, notable, well paid and remarkable by any standards). So as we are driving I am striking up conversation (kind of) and as we are talking about a project that this lady is involved in I ask this Thai engineer guy "Wow, Khun Nok's husbands job is interesting isnt it. I wonder how he got that job?" to which his reply was (of course) "mai roo". After further questioning he had no idea what Noks husbands job was despite working very closely with her for 6 years and yet I knew and had noted it soon after working and talking to her. Of course even then he didnt ask me what the job was!!

Honestly, do you find the same thing when you stop and think about it? Have you ever had a meaningful conversation with a Thai? Do you ever expect to?

[Soutpeel]

Has it occurred to you that the problem could be you, I too work with many Thai nationals, and having meaningful and substance filled conversations has never been a problem

Quite simply one suspects they don't trust you enough to have a meaningful conversation with you

Edited June 14, 2014 by Soutpeel

[CharlieH]

No, never, the only Thai I have ever spoken to, at length ( in english) was my Doctor and that wasnt chit chat.

Do I ever expect to? No, not in my lifetime, certainly not in this rural area where finding soneone to speak to at all in english is a novelty, and my thai is limited, so it aint gonna happen.

Edited June 14, 2014 by CharlieH

[transam]

My Thai ex boxing champion chum speaks little English and I speak little Thai/Lao, BUT, we have a laugh. Folk look at us and wonder what we are up too, weeeell, sometimes chemistry is all thats needed...........

[Thai at Heart]

I have had a few, but only with people I worked with or knee personally for several years.

A couple even discussed politics, corruption and the upper classes. I must have a trustworthy face

[Costas2008]

Can't comment about other Thais, but with my wife, being Thai, we have all sorts of conversations and arguments.

She always wins................

[beachproperty]

Have to agree with soutpeel.....must be something to do with you.

My Thai is limited and have met VERY few Thai's who speak decent English ....BUT have had many conversations with Thai's (although somewhat animated at times) wherein they discuss their lives (because I asked) and asked about mine, politics, family,travels, children...etc.

I find the Thai's very social and very inquisitive .....so I can only guess that you haven't asked the right questions?

[Spoonman]

Having a convo with a Thai is easy.. just grunt "Ughh" every few seconds.

[bowerboy]

Thais are the only nationality I have never really had a meaningful conversation with.....then why every other nationality in the world seems to trust me but not Thai's? No logic in your argument.

[bowerboy]

When I picture this I see a guy in a tank top and shorts sitting outside a 7/11 in Soi Bukkao getting along famously with the Motocy drivers

Have to agree with soutpeel.....must be something to do with you.

My Thai is limited and have met VERY few Thai's who speak decent English ....BUT have had many conversations with Thai's (although somewhat animated at times) wherein they discuss their lives (because I asked) and asked about mine, politics, family,travels, children...etc.

I find the Thai's very social and very inquisitive .....so I can only guess that you haven't asked the right questions?

[ATF]

Strange how the Indos like you but the Thais don't. Where are you from?

[Cypress Hill]

Did OP ever consider the Thais just thought he was a complete douche?

[tsirorret]

Thais are the only nationality I have never really had a meaningful conversation with.....then why every other nationality in the world seems to trust me but not Thai's? No logic in your argument.

would you have a meaningful conversation with someone who was trying to steal your land? or someone you highly suspect to have overstayed their visa and should be reported to the police post haste?

Edited June 14, 2014 by tsirorret

[bowerboy]

Yeah weird isnt it...strange how those Indonesians I have known for a short amount of time seem to have a conversation with me that is interesting and engaging wheras Thais I have known and drunk with for 10 years and who like me enough to invite me on nights out long after we have stopped working together don't yet trust me...

Yes you are right...must be something about my appearance and demeanour that is suspicious to 100% of one singular nationality and not others...very astute and I had never thought of that...

Strange how the Indos like you but the Thais don't. Where are you from?

[Seastallion]

Thais are the only nationality I have never really had a meaningful conversation with.....then why every other nationality in the world seems to trust me but not Thai's? No logic in your argument.

" Always with people that spoke excellent English " yet they always say "mai loo"? Dubious.

If you're to be believed, then they revert to "mai roo" because they have no desire to converse with you.

[star kicker]

you must be living in some kind of bubble. i can remember having conversations with thais since my arrival here over 10 years ago. i am still friends with some thais i met in those days. i have conversations with thais all the time about all kinds of subjects.

an example; my gf is a lawyer, just the other day we met up with one of her colleagues who a few years ago was a intern in an anti corruption unit working on the 'truth and reconciliation' initiative. it was fascinating to hear from the inside what a waste of time and whitewash that whole business was.

another example; i was having my hair cut last week and had a long conversation with khun Panu who cuts my hair about premiership football/chelsea - as we do every time i have a hair cut.

maybe you need to change your circle of friends?

if your gf is from an educated /professional background i bet she will have friends who would love to chat with a foreigner.

if your gf comes from a more uneducated background this would be difficult.

if you are open minded there are an awful lot of thais to have interesting and humorous conversations with - even if you dont speak thai!

[beachproperty]

Thais are the only nationality I have never really had a meaningful conversation with.....then why every other nationality in the world seems to trust me but not Thai's? No logic in your argument.

Obviously the Thai's are a lot smarter than you give them credit for.....ie in not wanting to have a meaningful conversation with you....might want to think on that!

[Seastallion]

Strange how the Indos like you but the Thais don't. Where are you from?

Or...where you stay?

[Vacuum]

In 10 Years I Have Never Had A Conversation With A Thai

Well, to tell you the truth. You haven't missed much.

[bowerboy]

Yeah its interesting because a friend of mine at work speaks perfect Thai...i mean it is absolutely perfect. He said he never has any level of conversation with a Thai because even when the language barrier is truly overcome they still don't know what to talk to him about (his words not mine).

Hehe..i wondered how long it would take for the "i have wonderful conversations with my perfect hi so Thai Chinese wife that pays for everything and your wife must be a bar girl" type comment would surface...surprised it took that long actually

[transam]

In 10 Years I Have Never Had A Conversation With A Thai

Well, to tell you the truth. You haven't missed much.

Perhaps you have.............

[ATF]

Yeah weird isnt it...strange how those Indonesians I have known for a short amount of time seem to have a conversation with me that is interesting and engaging wheras Thais I have known and drunk with for 10 years and who like me enough to invite me on nights out long after we have stopped working together don't yet trust me...

Yes you are right...must be something about my appearance and demeanour that is suspicious to 100% of one singular nationality and not others...very astute and I had never thought of that...

Strange how the Indos like you but the Thais don't. Where are you from?

Well you still haven't told us where you are from. Your employees probably invite you out so you can pay the bill because you are the boss. 5555555

[AnotherOneAmerican]

"Do Thais have conversations among themselves that are of any real subtstance? As far as I can tell it is only ever about food or lottery numbers."

Add girls and football and you pretty much have it right.

But wait!

What do I talk about with my Ozzy and Brit pals, food, girls and football.

Yesterdays topic, why no decent meat pies in Thailand.

The filling is just mince and gravy, not much of a convo as we all agreed, but worthy of an hour of bashing the local pie manufacturers.

Edited June 14, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[TerryLH]

"... and the constant fear of "loosing face" by saying one single wrong word "

Nobody likes a loose face.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

"... and the constant fear of "loosing face" by saying one single wrong word "

Nobody likes a loose face.

I thinking of having mine tightened up, loose face comes to us all with age.

[Douggie Style]

Might be your approach...and who your with....i usually sit in the back ground day dreaming and the Thais often talk openly..politics, community gossip, health ...usual stuff..they feel comfortable with my Thai partner and that might be the reason they open up...usually a business crowd ...

[A1Str8]

Thais are taught not to think or have an opinion on their own. It's pretty difficult to have a meaningful conversation with someone who was taught not to use his/her brain from an early age.

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Edited June 14, 2014 by A1Str8

[bowerboy]

I must admit my thoughts as to why I have never had a conversation with a Thai came down to this...

Thais are taught not to think or have an opinion on their own. It's pretty difficult to have a meaningful conversation with someone who was taught not to use his/her brain from an early age.

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[tsirorret]

I must admit my thoughts as to why I have never had a conversation with a Thai came down to this...

Thais are taught not to think or have an opinion on their own. It's pretty difficult to have a meaningful conversation with someone who was taught not to use his/her brain from an early age.

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

have you tried to wrap your "thinking " brain around thai language spoken or written?

Edited June 14, 2014 by tsirorret

[benalibina]

If your topic title would have included the word.....meaningful.........then it would have made some sense....only some though....

For just chitchat i have always considered thais to be very open and funny. They like a good laugh and when 1 speaks thai added with humour they are very perceptive people and willingly to engage a conversation with you. In general everywhere 1 meets them and from different ranks of society.

Serious, meaningful, conversations about whatever, thai related or not, subject, they will need to trust you really to engage in that. But most likely it will not be them to bring it up.

Overall thais are very nice people to converse with.

Edited June 14, 2014 by benalibina