Why do heavy drinkers insist you drink along?

[Songlaw]

If they are buying i'll join em lol,but then it doesnt happen does it,i guess you could say they were trying to be sociable.

Which seems to offend you,each to their own so to speak.

Them getting angry with me for no good reason other than saying no thanks is not my idea of being sociable, it feels more like them being bullying.

e.g.

Friend : "Here, have a beer."

Me : "No thanks, I'm driving. / I have things to do later / I have to work later."

Friend : "What's f***ing wrong with you. Get it down you."

Me : "No thanks."

Friend : "Have a f***ing beer, you puff."

Me : "No thanks."

and on and on, demanding I drink up to 10 or 20 times.

So, I don't really understand your post.

There must be an underlying reason which makes them angry by my not drinking.

Your refusal to "drink along" serves as an indictment of their behavior. And rightly so. The logical next step is to remove yourself from the situation, as the only way they can lessen their burden of guilt and/or inferiority will be by dragging you down to their level. After all, if a squared away guy like you can be convinced to go along with them, how bad can they be?

[ehw200]

A lot of heavy drinkers feel lonely that is why they are looking for drinking mates, that can keep up. I know I did. I could never understand a person who would come into the bar have 2 drinks & go home. I was a violent drunk and unpredictable, I could be singing " Moon River" at midnight and been smashing a chair over your head 5 minutes later. At the end of my drinking I couldn't find anyone to drink with and "WONDER WHY"

I have had freedom from Alcohol since August 1980, thanks to AA. So please don't come on TV and tell me it don't work.

good on you,,,and consider yourself very lucky that you saw the light

I had a brother in law like this and he eventaully killed someone,,,he has asolutely no memery of what happened

but admits with the evidence he saw that he is guilty

now he has spent the last 23 years in prison,,,gets out soon,,,fifty some years old,,,no job, no friends, no money, parebts dead,,,probably not much of a future

big price to pay for a drunken stupid night

you enjoy your life and freedom I wish you the best

[GOLDBUGGY]

Misery Loves Company!

Many Alcoholics who do quit drinking have to find a whole new set of friends.

The Alcohol comes first. Who they drink with is secondary. You can either join them or leave them. The choice is yours.

[rhythmworx]

The brilliant Jim Jeffries provides the answer here:

Cheers for posting that, I will have to download some of his stuff.

Never heard of him before but just watched a few clips on YT.

[manarak]

If they are buying i'll join em lol,but then it doesnt happen does it,i guess you could say they were trying to be sociable.

Which seems to offend you,each to their own so to speak.

Them getting angry with me for no good reason other than saying no thanks is not my idea of being sociable, it feels more like them being bullying.

e.g.

Friend : "Here, have a beer."

Me : "No thanks, I'm driving. / I have things to do later / I have to work later."

Friend : "What's f***ing wrong with you. Get it down you."

Me : "No thanks."

Friend : "Have a f***ing beer, you puff."

Me : "No thanks."

and on and on, demanding I drink up to 10 or 20 times.

So, I don't really understand your post.

There must be an underlying reason which makes them angry by my not drinking.

reading your first post I really wondered if you were a puff ... "alcoholic drink" eeeww... and drinking a beer or two every day is definitely not heavy drinking!

but that second posting shows that you got the wrong friends, I would avoid them.

[impulse]

Sober people are boring!

Then give me "boring" any time.

Something to be said for waking up in my bed, with no headache, no puke in the wastebasket, no ATM stubs, and plenty of money left in my wallet.

[OLDAUSSIE]

A lot of heavy drinkers feel lonely that is why they are looking for drinking mates, that can keep up. I know I did. I could never understand a person who would come into the bar have 2 drinks & go home. I was a violent drunk and unpredictable, I could be singing " Moon River" at midnight and been smashing a chair over your head 5 minutes later. At the end of my drinking I couldn't find anyone to drink with and "WONDER WHY"

I have had freedom from Alcohol since August 1980, thanks to AA. So please don't come on TV and tell me it don't work.

good on you,,,and consider yourself very lucky that you saw the light

I had a brother in law like this and he eventaully killed someone,,,he has asolutely no memery of what happened

but admits with the evidence he saw that he is guilty

now he has spent the last 23 years in prison,,,gets out soon,,,fifty some years old,,,no job, no friends, no money, parebts dead,,,probably not much of a future

big price to pay for a drunken stupid night

you enjoy your life and freedom I wish you the best

Thank you very much for your kind words . See the light, Yes I did after many years of darkness in a Alcoholic state. I damaged a lot of lives before I got To AA.

[Eliot Rosewater]

Find some new friends

[impulse]

Sober people are boring!

Then give me "boring" any time.

Something to be said for waking up in my bed, with no headache, no puke in the wastebasket, no ATM stubs, and plenty of money left in my wallet.

I forgot- No puke on the seat, the floor, or the driver's door of the car, either.

[Wat dee]

Sober people are boring!

Then give me "boring" any time.

Something to be said for waking up in my bed, with no headache, no puke in the wastebasket, no ATM stubs, and plenty of money left in my wallet.

I forgot- No puke on the seat, the floor, or the driver's door of the car, either.

Damn,you drink like 15 year old!

[Docno]

The brilliant Jim Jeffries provides the answer here:

Cheers for posting that, I will have to download some of his stuff.

Never heard of him before but just watched a few clips on YT.

He does a brilliant bit on foreplay that I can watch over and over. However, I played it for a Burmese lady friend last night whose only response was something along the line of 'why does he have to swear so much'. Unfortunately, the point of his 'rant' escaped her :-)

[impulse]

Sober people are boring!

Then give me "boring" any time.

Something to be said for waking up in my bed, with no headache, no puke in the wastebasket, no ATM stubs, and plenty of money left in my wallet.

I forgot- No puke on the seat, the floor, or the driver's door of the car, either.

Damn,you drink like 15 year old!

No. I drank like an alcoholic.

[rhythmworx]

The brilliant Jim Jeffries provides the answer here:

Cheers for posting that, I will have to download some of his stuff.

Never heard of him before but just watched a few clips on YT.

He does a brilliant bit on foreplay that I can watch over and over. However, I played it for a Burmese lady friend last night whose only response was something along the line of 'why does he have to swear so much'. Unfortunately, the point of his 'rant' escaped her :-)

I watched his DVD Bare yesterday and Alcoholocaust just a few minutes ago, cracking comedian.

[ding]

Wall of Denial ain't just a Stevie Ray Vaughn song. If you don't drink, maybe - just MAYBE- they have an inkling in the back of the mind that they have a problem and need to get off the medicine.

[tifino]

But really! - the best reaction comes from the BIB:

Got stopped for the breathalyser, and smile while saying "don't drink", all the while hanging the head out of the window for to give the blowbag the job.

They got really uppetty about insisting I must take test

they just wouldn't get it...

at no time did I say I would not take the test - I simply stated the facts as they were - no more, no less

I can be a bit of a stirrer at times when it suits me

[NoshowJones]

First of all drinking every day is not heavy drinking...in most of Europe people drink every day. A glass of wine or beer to the dinner isn't heavy drinking. Heavy drinking is when you drink huge amounts.

And as long as you aren't addicted, some more from time to time is no problem.

But considering your next posting you friends are in the heavy drinking.

"Friend : "What's f***ing wrong with you. Get it down you.""

With a sentence like this, this person wouldn't be a friend of mine anymore. I know when I start drinking I can't stop it (or at least not easily) and I had a lot friends that pushed.

But really no one in such an aggressive way. More in a whining "I want a drinking mate" way.

This is the first time I have been on this drinking forum, having been a non drinker all my life, I have still been affected by it, I had an alcoholic wife back in the UK, but after twelve years I got shot of her, and I did not lose financially as I made her want to leave without doing her any harm.

i do believe that anyone who drinks everyday has a problem though, that tells you that they cannot do without it, if they could they would have one or two days a week without it.

[cumgranosalum]

they are inadequate - they cant face the possibility that they are out of step and have a drink problem. I sat a t a table once with a particularly offence twit asking me to "be sociable" and have a drink....he pointed out that everyone else had.....except that it turned out he was the only one drinking alcohol and was too drunk to notice

[opalred]

why is it i have been having 4bottles of beer every day

for 57years i am still fit and all my non drinker friends

are dead// ? cheers

[Gary A]

It's fairly simple. You just have to choose your friends more carefully. No one in our small group twists my arm insisting on me having just one more. A few years ago I drank a lot more than I do now. Over the past few years my old body must have decided It had enough abuse. I am able to drink three large bottles of Chang but just one more makes me suffer a lot. We get together once or twice a week and my friends know that three is my limit. If someone new says "Just one more", The guys tell him that I have had my limit of three. They don't ask again. I avoid drunks. They irritate me and I prefer to ignore and avoid them whenever I see them.

[Johnniey]

why is it i have been having 4bottles of beer every day

for 57years i am still fit and all my non drinker friends

are dead// ? cheers

I'm surprised you have/had any non drinker friends.

[cumgranosalum]

why is it i have been having 4bottles of beer every day

for 57years i am still fit and all my non drinker friends

are dead// ? cheers

Probably bored them to death?

[Dagnabbit]

Some heavy drinkers (i.e. drinking every day) that I know and count as friends get offended if I don't drink when with them. I would have thought their relationship with drink was between themselves, their alcohol dependence and their own blood alcohol level and would have nothing to do with others. It has happened with different people who don't know each other. It has happened in their homes, in bars, in restaurants; it has happened in the evening, in the afternoon and even in the morning.

I don't fully understand their displeasure at my declining of their offer of an alcoholic drink. Can anyone explain this behaviour?

The best response to this is simply "do you not like me when I'm sober?".

Delivered straight faced, without malice in a non confrontational manner, this usually disarms them.

[cumgranosalum]

If the y drink alone they stick out like a sore thumb - it's just a sad, sad way of covering up their own inadequacies

[rogeroc]

This thread does seem to be a little black and white, almost alcoholics versus non drinkers but i think the great bulk of us are somewhere inbetween. If i am drinking then to be 100 per cent honest i would prefer my friends (but definitely not be forceful) were drinking and we can all get a bit 'merry' together. On the other hand if i was driving and not drinking atall i would probably not really enjoy the comapny of my 'merry' friends !

 

I am interested to know if there are people out there who have been 'heavy drinkers' but have managed to become 'social drinkers' as opposed to not drinking atall. I don't personally know any. If someone knows there drinking is over the top it seems that they will address that by not drinking atall for a week or 2 or more. Why not just drink every other night and a bit less? 

 

If you are a heavy drinker is it that becoming teetotal as opposed to a social drinker is the 'easy way out'?

[HooHaa]

On 10/8/2014 at 10:27 PM, Briggsy said:

Them getting angry with me for no good reason other than saying no thanks is not my idea of being sociable, it feels more like them being bullying.

e.g.

Friend : "Here, have a beer."

Me : "No thanks, I'm driving. / I have things to do later / I have to work later."

Friend : "What's f***ing wrong with you. Get it down you."

Me : "No thanks."

Friend : "Have a f***ing beer, you puff."

Me : "No thanks."

and on and on, demanding I drink up to 10 or 20 times.

So, I don't really understand your post.

There must be an underlying reason which makes them angry by my not drinking.

 

you are dull as guts while sober.

[ravip]

Just their drunkeness.