Why you shouldn't fear violence in Thailand

[ThaiWest]

I have no fear of crocodiles or man eating sharks because I have never been attacked by one.

I have also never fallen from a place high enough to injure me so I believe there is no reason to be afraid of heights.

Wow, what have you been drinking or smoking?

[Scouse Twoccer]

The argument of this article goes something like this: although I have witnessed much violence, it has not happened to me, therefore you should not be worried.

The Thai assimilation is complete.

Your understanding of the article is miles off, his argument is that what happens here can happen anywhere and the best way to avoid problems anywhere is to be careful with what you say and do.

[Mook23]

Thais swatting eating bugs in the noon sun cussing a westerner who hadn't sent the daughter

Western union .repeatedly slamming the machete into the ground on the rural property.

Then the conversation turned to ghosts because they had noticed me buying the litre of petrol, at the

Small store on blood red dusty road.

Thais are largely not respectful of us outside of money considerations.

Nor are they our equal in reasoning or worldly affairs.

The ones that claim to be are usually caught up in insidious elitism and repugnant

and these very thai people are actually the wives of so many farlangs ... how satisfying such a relationship must be LOL

[FinChin67]

The govt should get this guy on the payroll, they are desperately in need of a spin doctor.

Reminds me of this guy;

"My information was correct, but my interpretations were not," he explained. But in retrospect, the opposite seems truer.

[Scouse Twoccer]

Why you shouldn't fear violence in Thailand

But you should

If you don't it can very well happen to you for the smallest of reasons.

Better to be aware of your environment rather than blindly stumble through...

Exactly what the article said.

[ThaiWest]

The fact is that anyone ought to be aware of where they are and what is happening around them... Then use common sense! This applies without regard country you happen to be in or what street or soi you happen to be on...

[Just1Voice]

In the 7 years I've been here, I have made it a point to keep my opinions to myself (except with my wife), and just play the role of the "humble farang". In that time I've only had two situations come up.

First was when 4 young Thai men "scoped" me out buying a gold necklace, and decided they would rob me for it. It didn't turn out well for them. I kept the necklace, and they got hospital bills.

Second was when my wife went to court over a bill she owed prior to our marriage, and an agreement was reached in court that she would pay 500 baht a month. About a month later, 3 Thai men in their late 20's show up at our house. My wife met them outside and invited them to sit at the table. They told her that because she was now married to a "rich farang", they were going to raise it to 10,000 a month. That's when my wife stood up, came into the house and asked me to come outside, where she told me what they had said. I told her to tell them the amount was set by the court, and if they wanted it changed, they would have to go back to the court. One of them puffed up his chest and said they had the right to change it. (My wife translated for me.) At that point I slipped my feet out of the slippers and removed my watch. My wife said something to them, deadly serious. They all looked at me, stood up and quickly left, never to return. When I asked what she told them, she replied: "I told them they had 30 seconds to get off our property, and if they didn't, in 40 seconds I would be calling for ambulances to come get them." All I could do was laugh.

There have been a couple of situations at family gatherings where arguments ensued (normal behavior), and I was asked what my opinion was. My answer? Hey, it's your country, I'm just a guest, so what I think doesn't matter. Worked perfectly, and they went back to arguing among themselves.

Despite the fact that I am highly trained in martial arts, and military combat martial arts, I studiously try to avoid any situation where I might have to use those skills and training, and I constantly keep eyes in the back of my head for any potential problem. I am constantly aware of my surroundings, and always have an "escape plan" ready.

Edited May 2, 2016 by Just1Voice

[AlphaSoiDog]

Thai roads are arguably the most dangerous on the planet for two wheeled vehicles, and yet I "feel" far safer on a bicycle here than in Australia.

In Thailand it's the stupid and thoughtless acts that will kill you on the road (bicycle viewpoint). In Australia it is deliberate, angry and malevolent action by drivers.

In a poll years ago around 95% of Ozzy drivers believed that bicycles had no right to be on the road. I gave up riding in Oz after years of drivers "making a point" by going out of their way to put my life at risk. This behaviour has escalated over the years to multiple times per ride in my Ozzy country town.

A long time ago I was even run over from behind while riding fast, a foot from the gutter on an otherwise empty 6 lane highway and dragged 50m. By a driving instructor. She tried to "flee the scene" but was stymied by my crushed bicycle stubbornly refusing to get out from under her car. She didn't even check on the unconscious kid in the pool of blood. She received the smallest fine then possible.

Is it safer for me in Thailand? I have no idea. But it certainly seems like it to me and as a consequence is far more enjoyable.

(And no, I don't ride during the popular drunk hours. That would require too much self delusion...)

Edited May 2, 2016 by AlphaSoiDog

[minikev]

I have always found trouble here to be avoidable and never have I witnessed anything which was unprovoked. If you provoke someone and then things go south, it is your fault and you should have known better.

Yes - it was horrible how that British family provoked the thugs by simply existing ...

Only Naive Fools would believe such tripe propaganda ...

They didn't get a beating for simply existing, they struck the Thai 3 times before retaliation.

The result and level it turned into was unforgivable but don't walk around with blinkers on the foreigners provoked heavily.

[Broken Record]

If someone feels Thailand is an unsafe place to be, why are they here, why did they come here by choice, why do they stay ?

I've been in Thailand a long time, 99% of that time hasn't been spent in front of a computer picking up on any negative story and running with it, I stay in Thailand by choice, but if at any time I felt unsafe I'd make preparations to leave, what sane person wouldn't ?

I'll never understand the posters here who are sat in front of a PC continually slagging everything about Thailand , yet remain here, by choice they stay here, all I can think is their own countries must be very bad places to live or they've messed up their lives and blame Thailand for it.

It's not Thailand that messed up your lives, it was you !

[Myran]

During my years here I don't think I've personally witnessed a single case of unprovoked violence against a foreigner. I have, however, seen plenty of foreigners drinking too much and then acting inappropriately, whereupon they got their asses handed to them. Sure there are occurrences of unprovoked violence here, but that's the case in every country in the world. Thailand is a big tourist destination and unfortunately attracts the type of foreigners who are prone to not care about local customs or decency in general, which likely inflates the number of incidents.

[cyberfarang]

Good that he feels so safe walking around the street late at night. That is, until it happens to him.. Then his tune will change. Personally, my experience has shown that in most cases a foreigner can smile his way out of most tense situations. I say most because there are times when Thai men simply want to exert some violence. Case in point: I was with my Thai family talking about the water supply using my wife to translate to her father. Out of the blue, the father picked up a large knife used for cutting bananas of the tree and he came at me with blood in his eyes. It was intervened only by my wife and her mother who jumped in front of him. As it turned out, he got angry simply because he didn't like that a foreigner was telling him a more sufficient and modern way to supply water to the house and thought that I should be doing it his way regardless. It didn't matter if I was in the right about it. He was losing face because I would not back down and because he was looking like he was ignorant about this to his family.

If a Thai is losing face by you or anyone. Run! Violence is the only thing they seem to understand.. Their is no compromise with them and as a foreigner, you are always going to be wrong. Even when you are right.

Sorry mush but you are clueless and seems you have no idea how to use tact with people. you should have consulted with your FiL not put him down by hinting at him that he`s doing things all wrong and discredit him in front of the family. I would also get peeved if some know it all smartarse started giving me unwanted advice and got in my face about it, foreigner or not. In Thai tradition the father is the head of the family the oh wise one and what you done was belittle him.

If I were you I`d think about it and reflect on your actions, then may be you will understand.

[Broken Record]

I have always found trouble here to be avoidable and never have I witnessed anything which was unprovoked. If you provoke someone and then things go south, it is your fault and you should have known better.

That's my experience also, and I should add, Farang get away with much more than a Thai would, Farangs are generally given plenty of opportunity to walk away or talk their way out of trouble in situations where a Thai man would have no chance of doing so.

[Mark123456]

Its worthy to note that the collateral damage is always the British.

Yes, the Germans, Scandinavians and other nationalities seem to specialise in diving off Pattaya balconies.

[jvs]

I was walking around in a big crowd just the other day,i bumped into some body and it was pretty hard.

The Thai man looked back at me with anger in his face,i said sorry to him in Thai and smiled.

He said mai pen rai and we each went our way.

If i would have said "what the <deleted> are you looking at "when he turned around things probably would have turned out differently.

When you live here you will have to accept that Thailand is going to change you,not the other way around.

Going with the customs of the country has nothing to do with being a pussy.Some people who say they would react with more violence do not realize they are exactly the same as the people they are accusing of being violent.

When you start comparing news paper headlines from other places in the world you will see that there is unnessecary violence every where on this planet.

[cumgranosalum]

Most farlangs aren't made to live here. They don't have the skills to avoid frustration or problems. They want the Thai to be like them which will never happen. But at same time they want foreigners coming to their homelands to assimilate or get out. Yes face is an issue here. Accept it and stop whining. It's part of Thai culture which a couple of geriatric farlangs aren't going to change. I dont discuss with Thai cuz its not worth it. If I want a good intellectual discussion I do that at home with educated, experienced people who speak my mother tongue, and who can appreciate a quality beer or glass of wine or single malt and not Spy or Chang or Hong.

"Most farlangs aren't made to live here." - OK can I stop you there? with a premise like that, everything that follows will be complete nonsense.

You didn't stop me there. in fact u even bothered to reply... I am not here to make friends, on this forum, with anonymous elderly. I repeat, most farlangs here are not of the genius type and hang out with people who cant even tell the names of the continents.

you'll fit in well then.

[wabothai]

Good that he feels so safe walking around the street late at night. That is, until it happens to him.. Then his tune will change. Personally, my experience has shown that in most cases a foreigner can smile his way out of most tense situations. I say most because there are times when Thai men simply want to exert some violence. Case in point: I was with my Thai family talking about the water supply using my wife to translate to her father. Out of the blue, the father picked up a large knife used for cutting bananas of the tree and he came at me with blood in his eyes. It was intervened only by my wife and her mother who jumped in front of him. As it turned out, he got angry simply because he didn't like that a foreigner was telling him a more sufficient and modern way to supply water to the house and thought that I should be doing it his way regardless. It didn't matter if I was in the right about it. He was losing face because I would not back down and because he was looking like he was ignorant about this to his family.

If a Thai is losing face by you or anyone. Run! Violence is the only thing they seem to understand.. Their is no compromise with them and as a foreigner, you are always going to be wrong. Even when you are right.

Who's house? His or yours?

Who was paying for the water? Him or you?

If it was his house you should have just said your piece and left the man to his error.

If he was paying and you were not going to be hit with the costs of his error at some point, you should have just said your piece and left the man to his error.

If this was your house you should have told him to piss off and not set foot on the property ever again.

If you were paying the bill or supporting the man, you should have cut off the funds and told him to never contact you again.

That is how you deal with these situations. The man's behaviour was unacceptable and he should have been dealt with accordingly. As soon as you show any weakness, they will keep behaving in this manner.

Right, but one has to learn this stuff.

[mesterm]

OP's asking for it.

[FritsSikkink]

Why do people think they get respect if they live here for years and years and still need their wife to have a conversation with somebody.

[NoshowJones]

Good that he feels so safe walking around the street late at night. That is, until it happens to him.. Then his tune will change. Personally, my experience has shown that in most cases a foreigner can smile his way out of most tense situations. I say most because there are times when Thai men simply want to exert some violence. Case in point: I was with my Thai family talking about the water supply using my wife to translate to her father. Out of the blue, the father picked up a large knife used for cutting bananas of the tree and he came at me with blood in his eyes. It was intervened only by my wife and her mother who jumped in front of him. As it turned out, he got angry simply because he didn't like that a foreigner was telling him a more sufficient and modern way to supply water to the house and thought that I should be doing it his way regardless. It didn't matter if I was in the right about it. He was losing face because I would not back down and because he was looking like he was ignorant about this to his family.

If a Thai is losing face by you or anyone. Run! Violence is the only thing they seem to understand.. Their is no compromise with them and as a foreigner, you are always going to be wrong. Even when you are right.

If a Thai is losing face by you or anyone. Run!

You will not need to run unless the Thai guy has other mates with him or nearby.

[AlphaSoiDog]

Somewhat related is a warning I've had many times:

If involved in something requiring police then make sure you appear to be calm and reasonable. In this society showing emotion is poor form. So if the copper, who isn't interested in spending much effort, listens to both sides and one is loud, abusive or angry then that party is likely to lose out.

Sounds to me like good advice for any country. I might take that monk up on his offer to teach me meditation and emotion control....

[spidermike007]

I tend to agree with most of what was said here. I still find most Thai people to be non-violent. There are always going to be exceptions. But, I still think the vast majority of violent incidents here are Thai on Thai. Very little Thai on farang incidents. Thankfully.

And most of the time it does happen, it is due to a misunderstanding of Thai culture. I think most of the time it is due to some perceived loss of face. I despise face, and consider it to be the ultimate act of cowardice. But, that changes nothing. If a Thai guy considers himself to be somehow slighted or wronged by you, often a polite and respectful apology, and a sincere wai, goes a long way toward encouraging him to back off. Often. A lot of foreigners (like the family in HH) do not seem to understand that. You just do not get aggressive with a Thai man. It always ends ugly. You cannot win that fight, regardless of the outcome. Just back down, defer to him, and walk away.

[The Deerhunter]

Good that he feels so safe walking around the street late at night. That is, until it happens to him.. Then his tune will change. Personally, my experience has shown that in most cases a foreigner can smile his way out of most tense situations. I say most because there are times when Thai men simply want to exert some violence. Case in point: I was with my Thai family talking about the water supply using my wife to translate to her father. Out of the blue, the father picked up a large knife used for cutting bananas of the tree and he came at me with blood in his eyes. It was intervened only by my wife and her mother who jumped in front of him. As it turned out, he got angry simply because he didn't like that a foreigner was telling him a more sufficient and modern way to supply water to the house and thought that I should be doing it his way regardless. It didn't matter if I was in the right about it. He was losing face because I would not back down and because he was looking like he was ignorant about this to his family.

If a Thai is losing face by you or anyone. Run! Violence is the only thing they seem to understand.. Their is no compromise with them and as a foreigner, you are always going to be wrong. Even when you are right.

While I can see that this sort of thing can happen I wonder how he exactly heard "talking about the water supply using my wife to translate to her father" We have heard your version and it sounds very civilized and innocuous. But he might have heard something different and your version does not perhaps tell the whole story. Perhaps your wife had translated on this subject several times in previous conversations and her possible exasperation on the subject came through this time. Perhaps she added some offending phrase out of her own feelings and it might have been acceptable if he thought it came from her but perhaps he thought it was your exact words and felt outraged. She might not have liked to admit that to you. My apologies to her if I have misinterpreted or wrongly accused her of possibly unintentional escalation involvement. There are also the considerations raised by another poster about whose responsibilities were involved, financial, property ownership etc.

Edited May 2, 2016 by The Deerhunter

[Mook23]

Most farlangs aren't made to live here. They don't have the skills to avoid frustration or problems. They want the Thai to be like them which will never happen. But at same time they want foreigners coming to their homelands to assimilate or get out. Yes face is an issue here. Accept it and stop whining. It's part of Thai culture which a couple of geriatric farlangs aren't going to change. I dont discuss with Thai cuz its not worth it. If I want a good intellectual discussion I do that at home with educated, experienced people who speak my mother tongue, and who can appreciate a quality beer or glass of wine or single malt and not Spy or Chang or Hong.

"Most farlangs aren't made to live here." - OK can I stop you there? with a premise like that, everything that follows will be complete nonsense.

You didn't stop me there. in fact u even bothered to reply... I am not here to make friends, on this forum, with anonymous elderly. I repeat, most farlangs here are not of the genius type and hang out with people who cant even tell the names of the continents.

you'll fit in well then.

If u say so ...

Anyway, I haven't been into trouble, enjoy my stay, don't whine, don't feel afraid. And again, most farlangs are better off in Benidorm but there they can't get cheap company and feel big with petty 800.000 thb in the bank ... and, let's face it, there they will probably start complaining about the Spanish, and their pesky language 555) too after a while.

[NoshowJones]

The loss of face thing can turn events ugly.

The slap by the British woman over a drunk Thai mans face during their celebration period , can be a costly mistake.

I say this with full respect to the poor victim and make no justification for the thuggery .

But Thais watching clearly thought they got their just deserts.

In fact it could have more worse if many more joined in .

I have seen worse.

Thailand is a third wood country still developing .

A newspaper with grizzly photos reflects its stage of development.

Thais are not horrified like westerners at "" Real "" violence.

And are capable of committing it.

I almost married a Thai woman.

But was put off by what happened one evening in 2004.

We were being robbed at knife point .i had just taken 10,000 from an ATM machine on third road Pattaya at 2am.

A man armed with a sharp looking rope blade 8-9 inches long menacingly demanded the money.

He looked like a drug addicted angry son of a bitch so I handed it over.

But the woman who I was with had other ideas .

She smashed the man with a swing wild direct hit to his temple using a long neck of unopened Chang she was carrying from 7/11 .the guy dropped cold.

Banging his head on the footpath .

She then started trying to scratch his face to pieces .

And I had to stop her.

My policy is money aint important .

I nod yes at Thais .

Smile stay calm.

Remember it ain't Kansas

"And I had to stop her". What?? I would say well done to the woman you were with.

I would have let her carry on, then taken her out for a good meal.

[cumgranosalum]

Good that he feels so safe walking around the street late at night. That is, until it happens to him.. Then his tune will change. Personally, my experience has shown that in most cases a foreigner can smile his way out of most tense situations. I say most because there are times when Thai men simply want to exert some violence. Case in point: I was with my Thai family talking about the water supply using my wife to translate to her father. Out of the blue, the father picked up a large knife used for cutting bananas of the tree and he came at me with blood in his eyes. It was intervened only by my wife and her mother who jumped in front of him. As it turned out, he got angry simply because he didn't like that a foreigner was telling him a more sufficient and modern way to supply water to the house and thought that I should be doing it his way regardless. It didn't matter if I was in the right about it. He was losing face because I would not back down and because he was looking like he was ignorant about this to his family.

If a Thai is losing face by you or anyone. Run! Violence is the only thing they seem to understand.. Their is no compromise with them and as a foreigner, you are always going to be wrong. Even when you are right.

If a Thai is losing face by you or anyone. Run!

You will not need to run unless the Thai guy has other mates with him or nearby.

..

I don't really think that a simplistic single-issue view of a hypothetical incident is helpful or actually reflects the whole reality of the situation in Thailand at present.

[NoshowJones]

"Generally Safe". This OP is an idiot. Being a safe country does not mean that you have follow a set of specific rules that in many cases are only known to the Thai person and changes bases on the amount of drugs and liquor they have had that day. Using normal commonsense does not make you safe in Thailand. As a foreigner you are a target in most situations.

"Using normal commonsense does not make you safe in Thailand".

Maybe not, but it sure helps an awful lot. Don't get drunk. mind your own business, and 99.9% of the time you will be perfectly safe in Thailand.

[cumgranosalum]

I tend to agree with most of what was said here. I still find most Thai people to be non-violent. There are always going to be exceptions. But, I still think the vast majority of violent incidents here are Thai on Thai. Very little Thai on farang incidents. Thankfully.

And most of the time it does happen, it is due to a misunderstanding of Thai culture. I think most of the time it is due to some perceived loss of face. I despise face, and consider it to be the ultimate act of cowardice. But, that changes nothing. If a Thai guy considers himself to be somehow slighted or wronged by you, often a polite and respectful apology, and a sincere wai, goes a long way toward encouraging him to back off. Often. A lot of foreigners (like the family in HH) do not seem to understand that. You just do not get aggressive with a Thai man. It always ends ugly. You cannot win that fight, regardless of the outcome. Just back down, defer to him, and walk away.

"misunderstanding of Thai culture." - actually I think that is an easy cop-out. Thai culture is not static and there are no black and white rules....the other side is that Thai society is changing rapidly and up to 10% of the economy relies on foreign visitors.....if they want to maintain a good international image it is up to Thailand to demonstrate that they are serious about taking care of their customers........we need a well trained police force, and a reliable functioning leal system.

[SkyNets]

Why you shouldn't fear violence in Thailand

But you should

If you don't it can very well happen to you for the smallest of reasons.

Better to be aware of your environment rather than blindly stumble through...

A Thai motorist once threatened to shoot me because i beeped my horn at his bad driving !! Obviously he lost face. I was shocked, not so much at the possible loss of my life, but that someone would consider, or commit, murder for so trivial a thing.

I too had a gun pulled on me for beeping at an idiot driver in Bangkok. He tired to open the door but was locked, so he started to smash the windows, broad daylight in deep traffic. I now keep my thoughts to myself and just try to get through the day alive. I would say 80% of Thai men have some kind of mental disorder, I don't subscribe to the save face thing. Be it from tv, film or lack of morals from childhood. "Replying to Why you shouldn't fear violence in Thailand" my fear is that this is now damage control and reports will be concerned to keep a image of safety. It is very violent in Thailand as is every country now, difference here is that life is cheap and no governing bodies care.

[NoshowJones]

In the 7 years I've been here, I have made it a point to keep my opinions to myself (except with my wife), and just play the role of the "humble farang". In that time I've only had two situations come up.

First was when 4 young Thai men "scoped" me out buying a gold necklace, and decided they would rob me for it. It didn't turn out well for them. I kept the necklace, and they got hospital bills.

Second was when my wife went to court over a bill she owed prior to our marriage, and an agreement was reached in court that she would pay 500 baht a month. About a month later, 3 Thai men in their late 20's show up at our house. My wife met them outside and invited them to sit at the table. They told her that because she was now married to a "rich farang", they were going to raise it to 10,000 a month. That's when my wife stood up, came into the house and asked me to come outside, where she told me what they had said. I told her to tell them the amount was set by the court, and if they wanted it changed, they would have to go back to the court. One of them puffed up his chest and said they had the right to change it. (My wife translated for me.) At that point I slipped my feet out of the slippers and removed my watch. My wife said something to them, deadly serious. They all looked at me, stood up and quickly left, never to return. When I asked what she told them, she replied: "I told them they had 30 seconds to get off our property, and if they didn't, in 40 seconds I would be calling for ambulances to come get them." All I could do was laugh.

There have been a couple of situations at family gatherings where arguments ensued (normal behavior), and I was asked what my opinion was. My answer? Hey, it's your country, I'm just a guest, so what I think doesn't matter. Worked perfectly, and they went back to arguing among themselves.

Despite the fact that I am highly trained in martial arts, and military combat martial arts, I studiously try to avoid any situation where I might have to use those skills and training, and I constantly keep eyes in the back of my head for any potential problem. I am constantly aware of my surroundings, and always have an "escape plan" ready.

You are just my type of guy, a bit like Jack Reacher, I wish I could be like you, then you go

and spoil it by saying you are a "guest" in Thailand.

Anyway, keep your excellent posts coming.