Should I come back to my home-country or stay?

[DaweiBeach]

Option A: Me and my wife keep on living in Myanmar and continue our business here (boarding school), while our son grows up here and visits a local school. Our income would be decent but not enough to send son off to an international school (costs 25.000 usd a year here in myanmar). I would never have any formal degree and thus nothing to fall back on.

Option B: I take my family and move back to Germany. We would have to start from scratch since I havent finished a university degree yet ( I am 25 years old). My parents would fund us while I attent university. My wife has a computer sciene masters degree from a university in Myanmar so might be able to find a job after learning German.

If I would go after just what I want to do I would choose option A. Everyone of my family or friends in Germany pushes me to do option B.

It feels like a bad decision either way to me.

What would you do?

[JHolmesJr]

No brainer…go back to Germany and get a good university education.

Myanmar is a shithole….sooner or later some big company will come in and open a bigger, better boarding school and then it might be too late.

[guzzi850m2]

I agree, go back man, you are young, can always go back later with a good education and money in the bank.

[eldragon]

Get your degree, man. You can't really claim to have a great boarding school if you didn't finish university yourself. I know university education is not everything, but this is the standard most of your customers will be striving for. Go back to Germany and come back if you feel it. Plus, your relationship with your wife is gonna be stronger if she gets to see a d experience where you come from.

[swissie]

To be sure: A University-Degree (your wife) from Myanmar is worthless in Germany and the rest of the world.

Cheers.

[DaweiBeach]

Why would it be worthless? It is obviously not comparable to a masters degree from a western university but surely it is better than nothing. If my wife adds some qualifications from a German institution then she should be able to find a job (once she is fluent in German).

[schlog]

Option A: no. only when you like to join the coming civil war.

Option B: no.

Find option C and get your master degree.

[DaweiBeach]

What coming civil war are you talking about?

I am trying to think of an option C but cant come up with one. Any ideas or suggestions?

[Naam]

What coming civil war are you talking about?

I am trying to think of an option C but cant come up with one. Any ideas or suggestions?

don't listen to nonsense presented by ignorants! go back to Germany and get your degree. as far as the degree of your wife is concerned it's not worthless because her knowledge can be quantified by a potential employer.

i assume she speaks English, is therefore familiar with "latin" script which will enable her to obtain German working knowledge by attending Goethe Institut getting "Level 2" (takes 6 months).

Edited July 28, 2016 by CharlieH
German language removed

[dick dasterdly]

Difficult decision and I feel for you.

Having said this, an education in Germany has to be better for your son than an education in Myanmar.

[DaweiBeach]

Difficult decision and I feel for you.

Having said this, an education in Germany has to be better for your son than an education in Myanmar.

Yes. This is the main reason why I am thinking about moving to Germany. As posted earlier, international schools in Yangon cost around 25.000 USD a year, not affordable for us.

I know that moving back to Germany would be the right, albeit difficult move. But I still feel that my heart is in Myanmar. There are lots of frustrating aspects of living here but I still like it a lot and definitly don´t want to move. Seems like I have to though.

I am also worried about my wife, who might find it difficult to adjust to living in Germany. While I study at university she will take care of our son and learn German and improve her computer skills. Biggest problem that I could see is the lack of friends and family. We have been to Germany before but only for 5 weeks. She liked it but obviously that is not the same as living there full-time. My wife has been a teacher and now boarding school owner for all her life so she is used to being treated well and having a high standing in society (teachers are very respected in Myanmar) so she might also find it tough to be a "nobody" in Germany. Same might be true for me. You kind of get used to getting treated favourably wherever you go. .

[dick dasterdly]

Difficult decision and I feel for you.

Having said this, an education in Germany has to be better for your son than an education in Myanmar.

Yes. This is the main reason why I am thinking about moving to Germany. As posted earlier, international schools in Yangon cost around 25.000 USD a year, not affordable for us.

I know that moving back to Germany would be the right, albeit difficult move. But I still feel that my heart is in Myanmar. There are lots of frustrating aspects of living here but I still like it a lot and definitly don´t want to move. Seems like I have to though.

I am also worried about my wife, who might find it difficult to adjust to living in Germany. While I study at university she will take care of our son and learn German and improve her computer skills. Biggest problem that I could see is the lack of friends and family. We have been to Germany before but only for 5 weeks. She liked it but obviously that is not the same as living there full-time. My wife has been a teacher and now boarding school owner for all her life so she is used to being treated well and having a high standing in society (teachers are very respected in Myanmar) so she might also find it tough to be a "nobody" in Germany. Same might be true for me. You kind of get used to getting treated favourably wherever you go. .

At the end of the day it largely boils down to either remaining in a country you far prefer over your own country - or giving up your own, personal preferences to give your son a better education.

I could be wrong, but I doubt even International schools offer the same quality of (internationally respected) education afforded by German qualifications.

As I said previously, I genuinely feel for you as its tough having to give up something one loves for the benefit of others. Unfortunately, your wife will have to make the same sacrifice for the sake of your son.

[DaweiBeach]

Difficult decision and I feel for you.

Having said this, an education in Germany has to be better for your son than an education in Myanmar.

Yes. This is the main reason why I am thinking about moving to Germany. As posted earlier, international schools in Yangon cost around 25.000 USD a year, not affordable for us.

I know that moving back to Germany would be the right, albeit difficult move. But I still feel that my heart is in Myanmar. There are lots of frustrating aspects of living here but I still like it a lot and definitly don´t want to move. Seems like I have to though.

I am also worried about my wife, who might find it difficult to adjust to living in Germany. While I study at university she will take care of our son and learn German and improve her computer skills. Biggest problem that I could see is the lack of friends and family. We have been to Germany before but only for 5 weeks. She liked it but obviously that is not the same as living there full-time. My wife has been a teacher and now boarding school owner for all her life so she is used to being treated well and having a high standing in society (teachers are very respected in Myanmar) so she might also find it tough to be a "nobody" in Germany. Same might be true for me. You kind of get used to getting treated favourably wherever you go. .

At the end of the day it largely boils down to either remaining in a country you far prefer over your own country - or giving up your own, personal preferences to give your son a better education.

I could be wrong, but I doubt even International schools offer the same quality of (internationally respected) education afforded by German qualifications.

As I said previously, I genuinely feel for you as its tough having to give up something one loves for the benefit of others. Unfortunately, your wife will have to make the same sacrifice for the sake of your son.

I think international schools in Yangon offer a decent education since they are often closely connected to schools in the west, teach according to a British or American curriculum and employ foreign teachers. Obviously their facilities are also top-notch. But that is to be expected for a price of 25.000 USD a year (plus things like admission fees, books, food, etc). I am not sure what it is that makes schools in Yangon so unreasonably priced. The fees private schools in Bangkok charge seem very cheap in comparison.

My wife is probably more willing to sacrifice than me as she is simply not willing to let our son attend a regular school in Myanmar. Quality of Myanmr schools is simply horrible. It is not about the old, poorly maintained school buildings or lack of materials or whatever. It is just about the way Myanmar teachers teach. When English teachers can´t even speak/write a corret sentence in English you don´t need much more information to know that the students wont learn anything either. And that goes for all subjects. Teachers don´t even try to make their students understand the subject. In fact they don´t understand it themselves. And because of that, the only thing that students are doing in Myanmar is memorizing stuff. The biggest joke about all of it is that the exams have to be written in English. Most high school students couldn´t ask you what time it is in English but are expected to write Physics and Chemistry exams in English. Just madness.

It does make me sad to think about having to leave and I am sure I am going to miss Myanmar. It is not going to be easy. One thing is for sure, once my son has started to attend a German school there will be no way back to Myanmar until he is finished.

[swissie]

OP: While you will be working on your degree and wife will be learning German, will you have the financial means to "bridge the family over" until some income is generated?

I am asking this, because having to live on Hartz IV for any length of time will be very stressful for you and especially for wife.

At any rate, as long as one is young and flexible, things tend to "work out somehow".

Cheers.

[blackcab]

I am trying to think of an option C but cant come up with one. Any ideas or suggestions?

Why don't you study for your degree through distance learning? You can choose from respectable universities worldwide. That way you could stay in Myanmar.

[hagler]

Trust me your wife knows what is best for all of you way better than you think you do.

Whatever she wants is the right path to follow.

You can come back to this thread in 20 years time and thank me.

[Srikcir]

Option C - move to Thailand

Cost for your parents to assist in temporary living is far less

Change in lifestyle is minimal

Wife is close to her relatives and social cntacts, retains a degree of respect in her profession and easy to obtain WP

International schools are cheaper and higher quality.

Pursue your degree both online and/or in Thai universities.

[DaweiBeach]

@swissie: No need for Hartz4. My parents will support us while I am at university.

[schlog]

What coming civil war are you talking about?

I am trying to think of an option C but cant come up with one. Any ideas or suggestions?

don't listen to nonsense presented by ignorants!

Ignorant is when you can't see the big dangerous change in germany. 20 years ago i said yes go back but not nowadays. Only to name a bit, would i want my son be a part of this crazy new education system? Would i want he learn with age 11 what anal sex, gang bang and transgender is? Would i want he learn family is not more common only transgender and gay is good?

Would i want he sit in class with 60% muslim immigrants who will mob him?

Would i want my wife will wither like a rose staying in germany?

A normal life in germany is not desirable. With a monthly 10-15k euro bugdet germany is good but also then i prefer switzerland, austria or singapore.

Think good about option C because once you lost ur happiness and freedom with your family you can't get it back.

[DaweiBeach]

Thats an interesting option c. But what happens after I am done with university? There is no long term visa available.

[Naam]

What coming civil war are you talking about?

I am trying to think of an option C but cant come up with one. Any ideas or suggestions?

don't listen to nonsense presented by ignorants!

Ignorant is when you can't see the big dangerous change in germany. 20 years ago i said yes go back but not nowadays. Only to name a bit, would i want my son be a part of this crazy new education system? Would i want he learn with age 11 what anal sex, gang bang and transgender is? Would i want he learn family is not more common only transgender and gay is good?

Would i want he sit in class with 60% muslim immigrants who will mob him?

Would i want my wife will wither like a rose staying in germany?

A normal life in germany is not desirable. With a monthly 10-15k euro bugdet germany is good but also then i prefer switzerland, austria or singapore.

Think good about option C because once you lost ur happiness and freedom with your family you can't get it back.

calling you an ignorant would be an insult to all ignorants

[schlog]

What coming civil war are you talking about?

I am trying to think of an option C but cant come up with one. Any ideas or suggestions?

don't listen to nonsense presented by ignorants!

Ignorant is when you can't see the big dangerous change in germany. 20 years ago i said yes go back but not nowadays. Only to name a bit, would i want my son be a part of this crazy new education system? Would i want he learn with age 11 what anal sex, gang bang and transgender is? Would i want he learn family is not more common only transgender and gay is good?

Would i want he sit in class with 60% muslim immigrants who will mob him?

Would i want my wife will wither like a rose staying in germany?

A normal life in germany is not desirable. With a monthly 10-15k euro bugdet germany is good but also then i prefer switzerland, austria or singapore.

Think good about option C because once you lost ur happiness and freedom with your family you can't get it back.

calling you an ignorant would be an insult to all ignorants

Claudia Roth what did u do with Naam? ?

[amykat]

I wonder why you left your life at 22? and went to live in such a remote (and for most people) strange area in the first place? I read your other posts and it seems you are not doing much there, there is nothing to do, and maybe you are not so happy? So is it possible you have more of a fear of going home than are worried about the loss of your great life now? Sorry if I am on the wrong track but is it possible that you had some big stress or depression when you left Germany and this is how you have been dealing with it?

If so, I would suggest that you seem to have a good support system since you have parents willing to help you, a wife now willing to go back with you, a child that you love who needs a better life and that should give you a goal to work towards. You have university which you could work on at your own pace (I believe) and just be careful to set yourself up in a way that is not overwhelming/too stressful. I guess you won't have financial worries which is very nice. You have a medical system in Germany which will help you and your family ...unlike some other countries. You could connect with some support groups which would be appropriate for any problems you may have and just pace yourself and gradually get back into life. Don't try to take on too much too soon.

You will probably soon start to enjoy all the stimulating things around you once you are back and enjoy all the stimulating things your CHILD will see and enjoy each day of his life ...and that alone should make you very happy! And your wife too.

If I am correct, or nearly ...maybe you should be talking about this subject more, because this is the kind of help you need to get pushed into ...how to put your life back on track. Otherwise you will just wallow year after year and it will not get easier to return.

Edited July 29, 2016 by amykat

[DaweiBeach]

@amykat

Thanks for trying but you are way off. Nothing you wrote relates to me.

Not everyone who moves to Myanmar has paychic problems you know...Wonder if you ever been there if you my post makes you come to such conclusions.

[amykat]

Okay, so sorry OP. I didn't even mean your choice of country either, just that you are so young, didn't seem to go for work, or study, or for parties ...and sometimes this IS a somewhat common problem for some expats. Just trying to help!!

[DaweiBeach]

Okay, so sorry OP. I didn't even mean your choice of country either, just that you are so young, didn't seem to go for work, or study, or for parties ...and sometimes this IS a somewhat common problem for some expats. Just trying to help!!

Well I met my wife in Myanmar in 2010. Liked it there (and still do) so moved there and started a (profitable) business.