Thai wife problems

[Kimber]

On ‎5‎/‎02‎/‎2018 at 4:01 PM, Hamuraii said:

Just wanted to keep the thread alive for abit longer, took advice from the posters above last few days ago.

 

Went Serpico 

 

Why Serpico when you could have gone....

 

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎1‎/‎29‎/‎2018 at 9:30 PM, Hamuraii said:

Thanks for the reply m8,

 

She's sending me text now, wanting to see me, she's a uni girl, that has a good job, her mind maybe works to fast and does a 360 in her skull some times ?

 

I'm seeing her falling into her dark world maybe I don't know, <deleted> if you do, <deleted> if you don't, the dance.

 

Seems to be only two times a month this happens.

 

I'll keep you posted, she seems to want to talk about it, but then again, maybe not.

 

I'm playing a poker game, against a brick wall, trying to see if its bluffing or hang on its a brick wall.

 

 

I see this is quite an old post, but interesting. Should be resolved by now, but my tuppence worth is, IMO, either she has someone else that has something over her, that she won't ever tell you about, or she is bi polar.

In either case you are on a hiding to nothing.

My wife was bi polar, never discussed anything important with me and became the shrieking harpy from hell.

Of course you have to make your own decision, but sounds like a good one to walk away from.

 

In my experience, Thai women don't talk about their "real" feelings, and mouth "I love you" only to benefit themselves.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎1‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 2:07 PM, MaeJoMTB said:

Yep, the white world is full of needy losers.

They are why women are like this, if it didn't get women the attention and drama they want, they wouldn't do it.

Something I noticed about Thai girls, the first time nice as pie, but twice and they think they own one and have some sort of "rights", three times and they think they can start abusing one.

 

I had a very nice week with a pleasant girl from Pattaya some years ago, and the next time I visited I found her again and took her to the islands for a week. Not only did she ask me to explain the letter her Brit "boyfriend" sent her ( he was declining to send her money, but I took pity on her and explained it nicely that he was broke or something ), but spent every day with another girl she met there, and didn't front up with the goodies at night.

Needless to say, she wasn't on my list of prospectives after we got back to town.

 

Same sort of behaviour noted in more than a few, but not all.

 

Worst one though, was a long term GF that got in a tizzy over 20 baht and gave me the cold shoulder all night.

The problems of relating to women, even those of our own culture, are compounded by the cultural differences in LOS.

Back home a girl could probably be pacified with a box of chocolates and some flowers. In LOS, it took serious cash to make a difference.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎1‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 2:25 PM, GarryP said:

I understand what you are saying, but hope I never become so jaded towards relationships.  

I wish I had become so jaded long ago, then I would not have made the worst mistake of my life, by thinking I had a chance for married life.

rent rent rent, happy happy happy.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎2‎/‎1‎/‎2018 at 1:30 PM, Rc2702 said:

I lived in 20 different homes by time I was 24 so maybe I've had enough of change...

Oh my. That reminds me so much of when my life went downhill.

I had never stayed anywhere more than 5 years my whole life, and when things got bad, I moved on to start over. My last job I wanted to leave after 5 years when it got bad with terrible manager and bullies, but decided I wanted to try and stay to have some stability in my life for the first time. Stayed another 5 years, got seriously depressed, made bad choices, married the wrong woman, lost too much and ended up badly.

Sometimes moving on is the right thing to do .

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎2‎/‎2‎/‎2018 at 5:29 PM, xylophone said:

We never argued, it was a nice house, I paid for everything and also gave her a housekeeping allowance of 15,000 baht per month, bought her a motorbike and even paid for a major operation to remove a tumour from her brother's throat.

Do you ever consider that you gave her too much, so she started to take you, and your support, for granted?

I doubt I'll ever know why my ex behaved so badly.

I once asked her why she hated me so much, and she seemed taken back by that, and protested that she didn't, while the way she was behaving could only be explained by hate.

It could be that she hated herself, and was taking it out on me, but given she never ever discussed what her problems were, I couldn't help her.

Strangely though, seeing as how she ruined my life and destroyed my dreams, I don't hate her. I just feel sorry for her, that she had a great deal with me, and she blew it. Her life now is <deleted>, and she has no prospects, that I can see, being too old to catch a rich husband again.

[GarryP]

4 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Do you ever consider that you gave her too much, so she started to take you, and your support, for granted?

I doubt I'll ever know why my ex behaved so badly.

I once asked her why she hated me so much, and she seemed taken back by that, and protested that she didn't, while the way she was behaving could only be explained by hate.

It could be that she hated herself, and was taking it out on me, but given she never ever discussed what her problems were, I couldn't help her.

Strangely though, seeing as how she ruined my life and destroyed my dreams, I don't hate her. I just feel sorry for her, that she had a great deal with me, and she blew it. Her life now is <deleted>, and she has no prospects, that I can see, being too old to catch a rich husband again.

It sounds like you were well and truly shafted.  Luckily, I am now a Thai citizen so property goes in my name and if things go tits up, it is still my property. I can't kicked out like many cases we hear about on TV. People who have invested their savings in a house and car for a future with the woman they love, only to see things breaking down and ending up with nothing.   

[sanemax]

50 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Something I noticed about Thai girls, the first time nice as pie, but twice and they think they own one and have some sort of "rights", three times and they think they can start abusing one.

Back home a girl could probably be pacified with a box of chocolates and some flowers. In LOS, it took serious cash to make a difference.

You need to realise that bargirls "being nice" is what they are selling .

They are very similar to those human statues that stand public squares and move when someone puts money into their tin .

   Some Thai girls are the same , they only function when you insert money into their slot

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, sanemax said:

You need to realise that bargirls "being nice" is what they are selling .

They are very similar to those human statues that stand public squares and move when someone puts money into their tin .

   Some Thai girls are the same , they only function when you insert money into their slot

They were still getting money the second and third time. They just seem to think that if a guy takes them out twice they are married or something.

I'm pretty sure that I used "some" in my posts.

 

BTW, some of them really were brilliant human beings, while some of the people that should have been nice to me weren't.

[thaibeachlovers]

5 minutes ago, sanemax said:

You need to realise that bargirls "being nice" is what they are selling .

They are very similar to those human statues that stand public squares and move when someone puts money into their tin .

   Some Thai girls are the same , they only function when you insert money into their slot

Given your attitude to Thai working girls ( from previous posts ), I'm surprised that you claim to know what they are like, or what motivates them.

[sanemax]

2 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Given your attitude to Thai working girls ( from previous posts ), I'm surprised that you claim to know what they are like, or what motivates them.

I know many of them , away from their workplace and see them when they are not on duty .

   Its their job to be your g/f and their work involves being nice to you and the more you pay them, the harder they work (being nice) , whereas their true feelings are that they probably hate you and feel that you are socially inadequate and that you  need to pay someone to be your g/f .

   (BTW, I do mean "you" as in general and not you in particular )

[HLover]

Spoken as a true LDOP.

[brewsterbudgen]

I know many of them , away from their workplace and see them when they are not on duty .
   Its their job to be your g/f and their work involves being nice to you and the more you pay them, the harder they work (being nice) , whereas their true feelings are that they probably hate you and feel that you are socially inadequate and that you  need to pay someone to be your g/f .
   (BTW, I do mean "you" as in general and not you in particular )

Is this because you're especially handsome?

Sent from my SM-G930F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[HLover]

20 minutes ago, brewsterbudgen said:

Is this because you're especially handsome?

Sent from my SM-G930F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

Some people find Shrek attractive...

[xylophone]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Do you ever consider that you gave her too much, so she started to take you, and your support, for granted?

Don't think it was that tbl and as I stated in my post about it.................Her answer surprised me and it went something like this............. "that was just me and if you can't understand me and what I do, then so be it (add: that's your problem)".

 

So nothing I could have done to have prevented all this, and nothing that she can explain in reality, but I have been single now for all of those years and really do like my single life, because I don't have to put up with all that crap.

 

As many other posters have said. "that's just the way some Thai women are"..........

[MaeJoMTB]

23 minutes ago, xylophone said:

Don't think it was that tbl and as I stated in my post about it.................Her answer surprised me and it went something like this............. "that was just me and if you can't understand me and what I do, then so be it (add: that's your problem)".

 

So nothing I could have done to have prevented all this, and nothing that she can explain in reality, but I have been single now for all of those years and really do like my single life, because I don't have to put up with all that crap.

 

As many other posters have said. "that's just the way some Thai women are"..........

Women are self destructive, it's in their nature.

[Odysseus123]

12 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Women are self destructive, it's in their nature.

I would say that men are far more self destructive/destructive than women.

 

...and far more self sufficient too.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎3‎/‎23‎/‎2018 at 4:22 PM, sanemax said:

I know many of them , away from their workplace and see them when they are not on duty .

   Its their job to be your g/f and their work involves being nice to you and the more you pay them, the harder they work (being nice) , whereas their true feelings are that they probably hate you and feel that you are socially inadequate and that you  need to pay someone to be your g/f .

   (BTW, I do mean "you" as in general and not you in particular )

Its their job to be your g/f and their work involves being nice to you

LOL, I must have had some very bad employees then.

 

their true feelings are that they probably hate you

None of mine "hated" me. Some just didn't care enough to have any emotional involvement, but some really liked me. It's impossible to not know if someone hates you if you've been going out together for a month or longer. No one is that good an actor.

I know that you are invested in the whole "BGs don't like their customers" thing and don't believe that they can be friends, but whatever, they sometimes are. Believe it or not, up to you.

Perhaps you know the hardened pros with hearts of stone, but I rarely had the misfortune of being involved with that sort. Not even much fun in the sack, and horrible out of it.

 

BTW, speaking from a psychological point of view, it's far more likely that they hate themselves, rather than their customers, as it's hard to "hate" someone that they don't actually know. 

I often asked BGs that I knew well if they were ever badly treated by their customers, and none that I asked ever were.

Edited March 24, 2018 by thaibeachlovers

[thaibeachlovers]

22 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Women are self destructive, it's in their nature.

Sorry, I have to disagree. Women are, IMO, destroyers, and men self destroy.

Wikipedia tells me that 2/3 of suicides are by men, and IMO a lot are due to being destroyed by women in one way or another. Men aid and abet women's destructiveness by putting them on pedestals. How many men have assured the woman they want to marry that they'll treat them like a princess and do everything in their power to make them happy? Hearing that sort of idiocy just reinforces women's opinion that they must be superior to men. Indeed, many men go out of their way to prove that women ARE better than men.

 

I've had a lot of experience at work of women trying to destroy me. I doubt they did it on purpose, but they did it with a sort of casual arrogance.

[thaibeachlovers]

10 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

I would say that men are far more self destructive/destructive than women.

 

...and far more self sufficient too.

I don't know if you are saying men are more self sufficient, or visa versa.

However, women have to be, as they normally live longer than their partner, and ergo, by themselves.

 

I do know that women have much better support systems than men. When men end up alone, they often have no one to talk to, as men don't normally discuss their feelings- boys don't cry and all that BS.

 

[Kimber]

4 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Sorry, I have to disagree. Women are, IMO, destroyers, and men self destroy.

Wikipedia tells me that 2/3 of suicides are by men, and IMO a lot are due to being destroyed by women in one way or another. Men aid and abet women's destructiveness by putting them on pedestals. How many men have assured the woman they want to marry that they'll treat them like a princess and do everything in their power to make them happy? Hearing that sort of idiocy just reinforces women's opinion that they must be superior to men. Indeed, many men go out of their way to prove that women ARE better than men.

 

I've had a lot of experience at work of women trying to destroy me. I doubt they did it on purpose, but they did it with a sort of casual arrogance.

In my own experience over 4 decades, women definitely comprehend the power they can assert over gullible men. 

 

A man who can acknowledge that, and preserve an emotional independence when it comes to relationships with women;  can never be subordinated to any woman's agenda. 

[thaibeachlovers]

Seems to me that when couples have a fight, the guy will try to make it up, by buying pressies or doing something they think she'll like ( I usually cleaned the house ), while the women has a huff or goes away to cry with her friends ( mine did for hours ), then comes back and says something like "let's start again", except she doesn't mean it.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

On 3/23/2018 at 4:09 PM, thaibeachlovers said:

Given your attitude to Thai working girls ( from previous posts ), I'm surprised that you claim to know what they are like, or what motivates them.

 

A few posts back you mentioned that you are very happy renting. 

 

I assure you that there are women in Thailand that can not be bought and require no monthly allowance.

 

In all honesty, I know very little about bar girls, but I think you also know very little about "normal" Thai women.

 

I would never be happy renting. Never. Ever.

[Odysseus123]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I don't know if you are saying men are more self sufficient, or visa versa.

However, women have to be, as they normally live longer than their partner, and ergo, by themselves.

 

I do know that women have much better support systems than men. When men end up alone, they often have no one to talk to, as men don't normally discuss their feelings- boys don't cry and all that BS.

 

Yes my post was a little scrambled.

 

I did mean that women are far more self sufficient than men and I agree with you,that they are better and more efficient networkers and so have more adequate social support systems.

 

I also think that males suffer from over competitiveness with other males and are often too lazy or insecure to nurture friendships unless they are based on some kind of organized activity such as fishing or golf.

 

Curiously enough,I heard a number of Thai women comment on the lack of "social glue" in Western societies and I wholeheartedly agree with them.

[MaeJoMTB]

12 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I do know that women have much better support systems than men. When men end up alone, they often have no one to talk to, as men don't normally discuss their feelings- boys don't cry and all that BS.

I don't have the urge to discuss my 'feelings' with anyone.

Women have taught me my feelings are irrelevant and I have learnt to disregard them.

[thaibeachlovers]

4 minutes ago, Kimber said:

In my own experience over 4 decades, women definitely comprehend the power they can assert over gullible men. 

 

A man who can acknowledge that, and preserve an emotional independence when it comes to relationships with women;  can never be subordinated to any woman's agenda. 

women definitely comprehend the power they can assert over gullible men. 

Agree completely, definitely, 100%.

I once did a course, and at the end there was a party. I was astounded to see the women using sex as a weapon to get the instructors where they wanted them. I'd never seen it before, and it's a lesson I won't forget.

Years ago, I was in a situation where there were 60 men and 2 females in an isolated base. Well that was a lesson in female domination.

However, even in a situation like that, massive and overwhelming male desire can be overpowering, and one of them actually hid away. The other had a pretty good time though. I think she got off on the power trip. She really did get treated like a queen.

 

I was just as much a weak male in the presence of women as any, till I did a job that had me working with hundreds of women over many years. That sure cured me of any inclination to kowtow to women simply because they are female.

 

[thaibeachlovers]

12 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

A few posts back you mentioned that you are very happy renting. 

 

I assure you that there are women in Thailand that can not be bought and require no monthly allowance.

 

In all honesty, I know very little about bar girls, but I think you also know very little about "normal" Thai women.

 

I would never be happy renting. Never. Ever.

The great thing about living in a "free" country, is that we can do whatever makes us happy.

 

I'm glad you admit that you don't know much about BGs, but those that don't shouldn't be commenting on BG relationships if they haven't ever indulged. I wouldn't try and discuss quarks given I'm not a scientist.

 

However, I've tried the "normal" relationships, and frankly, I just can't be bothered with the extraneous baggage that comes with that sort of relationship any more. Just too much compromise involved.

 

Be assured, I'm not competing in any way shape or form for the women you want to pursue.

 

In the end, probably the best thing about renting is that when  

It used to be so easy, livin' here with you.

You were light and breezy, an' I knew just what to do.
Now you look so unhappy, and I feel like a fool.

It's Too Late

Carole King

 

and one can walk away with

no regrets

No tears goodbye

https://genius.com/The-walker-brothers-no-regrets-lyrics

[MaeJoMTB]

6 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I wouldn't try and discuss quarks given I'm not a scientist.

 

However, I've tried the "normal" relationships, and frankly, I just can't be bothered with the extraneous baggage that comes with that sort of relationship any more.

I wouldn't try to discuss quarks, and I am a scientist.

But I can do Dark Matter, Modified Newtonian Dynamics and Inter-glacial Isostatic Adjustment if you want.

 

Agreed

As far as I can see 'feminism' ended 'normal' relationships. The risks and costs just ain't worth even trying these days.

Edited March 24, 2018 by MaeJoMTB

[thaibeachlovers]

11 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

As far as I can see 'feminism' ended 'normal' relationships. The risks and costs just ain't worth even trying these days.

I think it's just taking guys a while to work out that "the good old days" are long gone, and act accordingly.

[xylophone]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

However, I've tried the "normal" relationships, and frankly, I just can't be bothered with the extraneous baggage that comes with that sort of relationship any more.

 

1 hour ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

I would never be happy renting. Never. Ever.

An interesting point as regards "normal relationships" but I don't think I've ever had one!

 

I had to be self-sufficient from a very young age due to poor parents who didn't really know I existed, or even care for that matter, and I always preferred my own company, away from the harsh words, rows, anger etc and that's why I would often disappear for as long as I could during the daytime, even when I was six-year-old.

 

It was no surprise to me then that although I had many girlfriends over the years, I only wanted them on my terms and that usually included seeing them only once or twice a week with the rest of the time being mine, and spent playing or training for football, going to parties with mates, and doing all sorts of other crazy things.

 

I really couldn't put up with having someone encroaching upon my space seven days a week, so it was a surprise to me that I decided to get married (don't ask me why) however that only lasted about 2.5 years and was fairly acrimonious.

 

Then there were scores upon scores of more girlfriends, just as there were before I got married and that even continued during my time spent in NZ. Of course I had never been to a place like this and when I came here it was one hell of a surprise and I really didn't know how things worked.

 

Anyway to get to the point, I did strike up a nice relationship here with a good Thai lady, only for it to go sour after four years or so and although she bought it upon herself by her periods of silence, but to be absolutely honest I was getting tired of having someone in my space 24 hours a day.

 

I learned about the renting option from friends, bar owners and experiences here and now it suits me down to the ground, so I call them up when I want to.....up to me and I control it.

 

And I have made friends with many BGs some just friends and others as renters, and IMO many have been girls who would make wives/partners........but no doubt there are some hard-hearted ones who wouldn't!!!

 

Renting is the only way to go for me now and I doubt that will change as it suits me and my needs and wants.

 

PS. Loved the song quotes and just had to listen to The Walker Brothers again......loved that song!

Edited March 24, 2018 by xylophone