You are Going to Die – Are You Ready

[Tippaporn]

If you're looking for scientific proof, again, proof that you can verify with your five senses, then you will not find it.  If I tried to explain why then I'd be going very far off topic.  And since I make that statement without offering any "proof" I can then understand that you would therefore assume that I subscribe to one religion or another for what I say must therefore be predicated solely on the seeming opposite of proof, namely faith.  I follow no religion.  As to faith, faith is part and parcel of this world.  Who doesn't have faith that the sun will rise tomorrow?  Do you require proof that the sun will rise tomorrow before you can believe and act accordingly that it will?

[Gruff]

2 hours ago, bazza73 said:

 I'm going to die sometime. Right now, I'm more concerned with living and my quality of life. My will is in place ( Thai and Australian ) to take care of the people I love after I am gone.

IMHO I would not want to be part of the OP's circle of friends. Very morbid topic of conversation. Surround yourself with positive people, and you acquire a positive outlook. Being in the OP's group would probably have me slashing my wrists.

I am scared of the thought of both ageing and dying. My best answer is just pretend none of it is happening !  Not very smart maybe, but it works for me.  So i guess i  am with you, whilst i think no topic of conversation should be off limits i would rather steer in a different direction.

[Jip99]

4 hours ago, orientalist said:

 

For sure, you'll be cremated if you haven't specified otherwise in a will. You can specify burial in your will, but I imagine you'd have to organise this in advance with a specific church or organisation. There are plenty of Chinese cemeteries in Thailand, but I've never seen a Christian one. 

 

 

I can guarantee that you will be cremated if prior arrangements are not in place......... and quite possibly even if you do !!..... especially if you are outside Bangkok or Pattaya.

 

 

Those Chinese burial mounds don't come cheap.

[Gruff]

6 minutes ago, Tippaporn said:

If you're looking for scientific proof, again, proof that you can verify with your five senses, then you will not find it.  If I tried to explain why then I'd be going very far off topic.  And since I make that statement without offering any "proof" I can then understand that you would therefore assume that I subscribe to one religion or another for what I say must therefore be predicated solely on the seeming opposite of proof, namely faith.  I follow no religion.  As to faith, faith is part and parcel of this world.  Who doesn't have faith that the sun will rise tomorrow?  Do you require proof that the sun will rise tomorrow before you can believe and act accordingly that it will?

The sun doesn't rise that often in the UK

[Jip99]

3 minutes ago, Gruff said:

I am scared of the thought of both ageing and dying. My best answer is just pretend none of it is happening !  Not very smart maybe, but it works for me.  So i guess i  am with you, whilst i think no topic of conversation should be off limits i would rather steer in a different direction.

 

 

If you are single and don't give a flying fart about your inheritors, then that selfish approach is fine.

 

 

Regrettably, it has cost a number of Thai widows significant sums of money.

[Tippaporn]

3 minutes ago, Gruff said:

The sun doesn't rise that often in the UK

Excellent comeback!!  

[stropper]

me, its simple , do not revive , take whats left! see ya

 

[Jip99]

1 minute ago, stropper said:

me, its simple , do not revive , take whats left! see ya

 

 

 

Then let's hope that you never contract a 24 hour, temporary, paralysis due to rare adverse reaction to somtam. 

 

 

That would be a bugger...

[Gruff]

5 minutes ago, Jip99 said:

 

 

If you are single and don't give a flying fart about your inheritors, then that selfish approach is fine.

 

 

Regrettably, it has cost a number of Thai widows significant sums of money.

Yes you are correct, it is selfish and i am single. 

[madusa]

16 hours ago, vogie said:

I told my wife I want to be cremated, she said you'll have to wait till tomorrow as they are all closed at the moment?

I thought she would say "Let's made love for the last time, get the best wine and some marijuana as well, prepare the right ambiance."

[Jip99]

1 minute ago, madusa said:

I thought she would say "Let's made love for the last time, get the best wine and some marijuana as well, prepare the right ambiance."

 

 

 

Every Friday........................just in case  :)    

[giddyup]

23 minutes ago, Tippaporn said:

 .  Who doesn't have faith that the sun will rise tomorrow?  Do you require proof that the sun will rise tomorrow before you can believe and act accordingly that it will?

The fact that it has risen and set for thousands, if not millions of years previously, is a pretty good reason for assuming it will rise tomorrow. 

[dlodratsab]

16 hours ago, bannork said:

1. Why worry about death? Did you worry about birth? I doubt it, so don't worry about being dead.

2. Lingering death i.e. stroke. Very nasty. Make sure a trusted relative or friend will provide a final cocktail if you are  unable to consume it yourself.

3. Fear of dependents being left in financial difficulties. If you're unable to assist your wife  after your demise, then encourage her to marry again, even recommend a relative or friend if necessary. Most Thais have extended families and can work things out.

 

 

#2  Not fair to involve friends or relatives....I would be happier to be able to lay my hands on a pistol though, 

 

sneaking suspicion some form of dementia is just around the corner......and as posters are saying, I do not want

 

to load that responsibility on to family.....

[seancbk]

I reckon in 30 years (hopefully less) it will be possible to transition from existing in a meat sack to existing in a computer and once we achieve that then those of us that can afford it will become effectively immortal.

As for dying before then so long as it isn't slow or painful, I don't care.  If I didn't wake up one morning what would I know about it?  Nothing is what.

 

[bannork]

15 hours ago, dlodratsab said:

#2  Not fair to involve friends or relatives....I would be happier to be able to lay my hands on a pistol though, 

 

sneaking suspicion some form of dementia is just around the corner......and as posters are saying, I do not want

 

to load that responsibility on to family.....

You won't remember where the gun is if you have dementia.

I

 

[cyberfarang]

19 hours ago, Once Bitten said:

Ive spoken to my Thai wife a few times about the subject of whats going to happen if I'm not around any more , its obvious that in her mind she is a firm believer in  reincarnation and there's nothing to worry about as in your next life things will be even better than your present life .

 

Convincing my self that may be true is an up hill struggle 

This is a morbid subject but me too being in my mid 60s have to face facts and has to be addressed. My main concern as a Brit living in Thailand is that I am in medical limbo. No longer entitled to receive the UK national health service and not entitled to any medical schemes available to Thais in Thailand and most medical insurance companies won`t take me on or charge unrealistic amounts. So it would mean if I do became struck down, being at the tender mercies of the private hospitals where as medical fees are concerned the sky`s the limit. It would probably drain all my funds leaving wife and family with nothing. Dying does not scare me it`s how I die and how long it takes to die I have concerns about.

[Tippaporn]

36 minutes ago, giddyup said:

The fact that it has risen and set for thousands, if not millions of years previously, is a pretty good reason for assuming it will rise tomorrow. 

I meant to give the sun rising tomorrow as an example of faith operating in our lives.  Anyone could quite easily think of many more examples.  Faith is a function of this world as surely as fact is.  Science has no doubt given faith an undeserved bum rap.  That said, I did not mean, though, to get into a discussion of, say, faith versus fact, or an in depth discussion of what faith is.

 

My original statements were offered merely with the intention of nudging the OP into perhaps considering the idea of reincarnation a bit further.  Any true understanding of death would automatically dissolve any fear of it.  Ultimately, though, it is up to the individual as to whether that is something they would be interested in exploring or not.

[watcharacters]

17 hours ago, bannork said:

1. Why worry about death? Did you worry about birth? I doubt it, so don't worry about being dead.

2. Lingering death i.e. stroke. Very nasty. Make sure a trusted relative or friend will provide a final cocktail if you are  unable to consume it yourself.

3. Fear of dependents being left in financial difficulties. If you're unable to assist your wife  after your demise, then encourage her to marry again, even recommend a relative or friend if necessary. Most Thais have extended families and can work things out.

 

 

 

"Lingering death i.e. stroke. Very nasty. Make sure a trusted relative or friend will provide a final cocktail if you are  unable to consume it yourself."    

 

 I wonder what kind of "cocktail ingredients" you thnk are available in thailand to facilitate such an action?     Thailand does not allow euthanasia and is very strict with any meds that would  accomplish it

 

 

Also, in countries that ban euthanasia, a person assisting a friend successfully,  could be charged with manslaughter  or even  a more serious charge.

 

 

 

 

Edited November 20, 2017 by watcharacters

[xylophone]

4 hours ago, Once Bitten said:

I like the sound of floating up up and away 

I like that!! Just Google it and all you need to know is there and as per another post, you won't need someone to feed you a cocktail or an injection!

 

IMO, that's the way for me, given the chance.

[Tarteso]

You won't remember where the gun is if you have dementia.
I
 

...and the bullet.

[watcharacters]

1 hour ago, Tarteso said:

...and the bullet.

 

 

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Posted 1 hour ago

  2 hours ago, bannork said:

You won't remember where the gun is if you have dementia.
I
 

...and the bullet.

 

 

 

I'd find humor in your post  if it weren't for the fact that some have failed in their gun attempt and simply blown off a part of their face or scull and  still survived in a disfigured state.    

[giddyup]

6 minutes ago, watcharacters said:

•   2 hours ago, bannork said:

You won't remember where the gun is if you have dementia.
I
 

...and the bullet.

 

 

 

I'd find humor in your post  if it weren't for the fact that some have failed in their gun attempt and simply blown off a part of their face or scull and  still survived in a disfigured state.    

No humour in dementia either.

[craftyhen]

2 hours ago, watcharacters said:

 

"Lingering death i.e. stroke. Very nasty. Make sure a trusted relative or friend will provide a final cocktail if you are  unable to consume it yourself."    

 

 I wonder what kind of "cocktail ingredients" you thnk are available in thailand to facilitate such an action?     Thailand does not allow euthanasia and is very strict with any meds that would  accomplish it

 

 

Also, in countries that ban euthanasia, a person assisting a friend successfully,  could be charged with manslaughter  or even  a more serious charge.

i'm sure it could be achieved quite easily with a short trip to Cambodia

[Jip99]

7 hours ago, orientalist said:

Apart from preparing for death, you have to consider the possibility of a long period of ill-health before death. It could be dementia, diabetes, being confined to a wheelchair, etc, but many of us will have some kind of illness. Partly because of that I make sure I live a healthy lifestyle and have remained in the Prakan Sangkom scheme.

 

If you are legally married and die intestate - like most folks - there is a default method of calculating how your assets are divided. If you are single and your next of kin are unlikely to come to Thailand, it's more complicated. When you die, your immovable assets go to the state and the banks get your money. In that case, it makes sense to make a will and specify who gets your stuff. That raises another problem: you don't really want the executor to be a beneficiary but designating a lawyer as executor will see all your money disappear in expenses. I believe you can simply file your will at the local amphur (in Thai language) and they'll handle things.

 

The rules of intestacy apply equally to married and single people- funds never go to the state unless there are no legal inheritors. In most cases the main assets are in the deceased's home country - any expat with half a brain will ensure that he owns little or nothing in Thailand. Car and bank balance is usually all that is solely owned.

 

A beneficiary is an executor in 90+% of cases.... most donors appoint their wives as executors/joint executors and are usually the main beneficiary.

 

If you file a Will at the local amphur I hope you can fully understand what is written in Thai.... not saying don't do it, just understand what the Will contains.

[watcharacters]

12 minutes ago, giddyup said:

No humour in dementia either.

 

 

I was  mildly  chiding the reference to a bullet.  I found it absent of humor.

 

 

I'm very familiar with the ravishes of  dementia

[bazza73]

3 hours ago, seancbk said:

I reckon in 30 years (hopefully less) it will be possible to transition from existing in a meat sack to existing in a computer and once we achieve that then those of us that can afford it will become effectively immortal.


 

A VERY interesting proposition. And who is to say it can't happen? I think Arthur C. Clarke was postulating that possibility in several of his novels.

[Jip99]

7 hours ago, chaihot said:

Normally, I wouldn't have jumped in to this conversation but it hit close to home this week.  On Wednesday, I had a great conversation with an American Expat that I have known for many years.  It was a casual shoot-the-shit about health, and losing weight, and living life -- combined with the knowledge that we are all getting older and hope to continue enjoying life.  We had talked longer than usual because it was raining and neither of us wanted to fight the weather.  When it was over, we said goodbyes, he climbed into his car and drove off.

 

A little more than 24 hours later, he was found deceased in his bed; he had died in his sleep.  

 

The notification shook me; thinking about how happy he was now and was making plans for the "rest of his life".  And in one night, it was all over.  He was 70.

 

This brought up a conversation with my Thai wife about her life after my death.  Like you Sirineou, I make sure she became a citizen, majored in English, etc.  She worked for a few years in the US and made a good living, which would allow her to move back if necessary, or as you put it, "if things get rough in Thailand".

 

But I honestly don't know how she is going to handle the LEGAL things that need to be done.  I have a Thai will; I have an American Will; she is the beneficiary of my life insurance which should take care of her for life (provided I don't live too old).  But there is much more -- US real estate, companies, other assets, and my social security -- that I don't know how she is going to handle.

 

And the last thing I would want is for her NOT to get these things, and the STATE getting a bonus because she doesn't know what to do.

 

As to the life insurance, she must have the money to cover any medical costs of my death, or she can't get the death certificate, which she needs to collect my life insurance.  Another expat friend died a few years ago in a vehicle accident, and the hospital held the death certificate as ransom until the spouse was able to assemble and pay thousands of dollars in ER fees.  Horrible catch-22 situation.

 

And for good or for worse, my wife is Thai.  And even though I think she is educated and can hold her own, her "faith" in other Thais scares me to death.  I wonder if she will be strong enough to get what is righfully hers, without be screwed over by "people trying to help".

 

But other than creating a "death manual" instructing her on the steps to handle my death, I don't know what else to do.  My friend's death this week really shook me.  It was a reminder just how fast things can happen.

 

 

 

That is exactly why executors are named in a Will.

 

Get that right and your widow should need to do nothing other than phone him.

 

Your wife/widow is simply a beneficiary of your estate - she should not be burdened with anything.

[orientalist]

6 minutes ago, Jip99 said:

 

The rules of intestacy apply equally to married and single people- funds never go to the state unless there are no legal inheritors. In most cases the main assets are in the deceased's home country - any expat with half a brain will ensure that he owns little or nothing in Thailand. Car and bank balance is usually all that is solely owned.

 

A beneficiary is an executor in 90+% of cases.... most donors appoint their wives as executors/joint executors and are usually the main beneficiary.

 

If you file a Will at the local amphur I hope you can fully understand what is written in Thai.... not saying don't do it, just understand what the Will contains.

 

Sure, but I said "If you are single and your next of kin are unlikely to come to Thailand...".  That's when things get complicated. I had no choice but to name a blood relative as executor as well as being a beneficiary. No problem for me, as she is not likely hasten my demise to get at the money! But, say she comes to Thailand for the funeral and starts the legal process, it then takes at least a month before the court will issue the necessary papers (this is to allow time for anyone contesting the will to come forward). So a second visit would be necessary and paralegals would have to be hired, making it a costly hassle. This is why it's complicated for single expats.

 

Part of the cost in having a will written up by a lawyer is having it Thai and English (I then had the translation checked by a Thai friend). I wouldn't recommend doing it at the amphur office, but it's a cheap alternative.

[Jip99]

1 minute ago, orientalist said:

 

Sure, but I said "If you are single and your next of kin are unlikely to come to Thailand...".  That's when things get complicated. I had no choice but to name a blood relative as executor as well as being a beneficiary. No problem for me, as she is not likely hasten my demise to get at the money! But, say she comes to Thailand for the funeral and starts the legal process, it then takes at least a month before the court will issue the necessary papers (this is to allow time for anyone contesting the will to come forward). So a second visit would be necessary and paralegals would have to be hired, making it a costly hassle. This is why it's complicated for single expats.

 

Part of the cost in having a will written up by a lawyer is having it Thai and English (I then had the translation checked by a Thai friend). I wouldn't recommend doing it at the amphur office, but it's a cheap alternative.

 

Thanks for clarifying.

 

Do you have assets in Thailand ?

 

In most cases, expats are only concerned about assets in their home country and they are covered by a home country Will.

 

As far as Thailand is concerned there are rarely too many assets to be concerned about. I cannot recall EVER seeing a case where assets in Thailand have been repatriated to a UK beneficiary under the terms of a Thai Will...... that would be most unusual and no sane expat would keep assets in Thailand that were not destined for a Thai beneficiary.

[orientalist]

1 minute ago, Jip99 said:

 

Thanks for clarifying.

 

Do you have assets in Thailand ?

 

In most cases, expats are only concerned about assets in their home country and they are covered by a home country Will.

 

As far as Thailand is concerned there are rarely too many assets to be concerned about. I cannot recall EVER seeing a case where assets in Thailand have been repatriated to a UK beneficiary under the terms of a Thai Will...... that would be most unusual and no sane expat would keep assets in Thailand that were not destined for a Thai beneficiary.

 

Unfortunately, most of my assets are in Thailand as I worked here for decades. I did start moving funds back to the UK a few years ago (when interest was 6%) but then the sub-prime financial crisis wiped about 40% off their value, so I learned a hard lesson. Brexit accounted for another 10%.

 

At the time I made the will, I had beneficiaries in the UK and in Thailand. My lawyer did not mention any problems paying out to overseas beneficiaries, but I have wondered about that, if only from the practical side of getting ANY money out of Thailand. Do you know of any cases where a foreign beneficiary couldn't get an inheritance out? Actually, I can well believe this might be the case and have recently been exploring other ways to handle things.