Top Ten hard truths of living as an expat in Thailand

[The manic]

56 minutes ago, catman20 said:

i hear what your saying i live in pattaya i cant say the same maybe im just to honest i cant listen to all the BS with farang people men and women and get in problems all the time, i long for the day my sex drive subsides i meet a descent women and move away from these people. the best friends i have here are Thai girlfriends. i have a great girl that i would settle with but i still have a roving eye.

Dont worry. One day your interest in sex will diminish and then you can get married and retire to Ubon!

Edited February 2, 2018 by The manic

[garyk]

4 hours ago, Ban Sao 420 said:

I have a 20 year old girlfriend and I am currently 61. And she definitely loves me and I love her and it's the best relationship I've ever had in my life. I guess she's one in a million.

How many times have i heard that on these forums! Famous last words..

[inThailand]

Yup. ..that one in a million girl is who we buy cheap houses from that were paid for from an old falang. When we loose it, it's hurts the wallet much less.

[Airbagwill]

8 hours ago, Ban Sao 420 said:

I have a 20 year old girlfriend and I am currently 61. And she definitely loves me and I love her and it's the best relationship I've ever had in my life. I guess she's one in a million.

So there's at least 70 more just like her in Thailand.

 

[catman20]

5 hours ago, garyk said:

How many times have i heard that on these forums! Famous last words..

and he dont pay her any money

[Dexlowe]

17 hours ago, SunsetT said:

Thais rarely complain, I think, because they dont want to make the person doing something wrong 'Lose Face'. So I think this 'loss of face' element in Thai culture is seriously stunting their social, business, personal and national development. It seriously  inhibits any change and improvement. It also means that when Thais do face criticism or complaints, they often dont handle it well.

It's called "krieng jai" (not easily translated into English). To me it is everything that is wrong with Thailand, and the cause of just about all of it. It is the ultimate "ostrich" approach to life, and the sad part is that it can never be changed, even though it is holding the country back -- everyone who attains any semblance of power over another just loves it. If anyone plans on writing a 10-step guide to Thailand for the newbie, then "krieng jai" needs to be properly explained and understood, for it governs every single aspect of life here.

[Odysseus123]

28 minutes ago, Dexlowe said:

It's called "krieng jai" (not easily translated into English). To me it is everything that is wrong with Thailand, and the cause of just about all of it. It is the ultimate "ostrich" approach to life, and the sad part is that it can never be changed, even though it is holding the country back -- everyone who attains any semblance of power over another just loves it. If anyone plans on writing a 10-step guide to Thailand for the newbie, then "krieng jai" needs to be properly explained and understood, for it governs every single aspect of life here.

Spot on.

 

Tho' I believe it is three concepts that entraps them (ostrich like) in their Ruritanian existence.

 

1.Sakdina

2.Face

3.Keng Jai.

[bluesofa]

9 hours ago, dunroaming said:

But most normal people don't live in Thailand where the rules are very different.  I say enjoy it while it lasts.  At 61 you are entitled to indulge yourself in the odd fantasy or two.

If he had a fantasy with two girls of twenty, that would give an accumulative age of forty, making it closer to his sixty-one years. But three girls - they'd be the same accumulative age - I'd say go for it!

(No disrespect to the poster, just a little humour.)

[DUNROAMIN]

On ‎2‎/‎02‎/‎2018 at 6:16 AM, Thaiwrath said:

11. Beware of some expats, especially the ones who try to be your best friend, despite having just met you.

       Also, don't always believe the 'ex S.A.S., Navy Seal, Special forces' bullshit, as most who have done it, will 

        never ever mention it.  

Correct.

 

[DUNROAMIN]

Good article. He didn't mention my pet hate. Entering a persons house, doctors clinic, or whatever, and having to step over or around a mountain of shoes. I am sure some people are brain dead as they can't even read signs. Much the same when I go to a local 7 eleven you have to navigate through a sea of motor bikes parked every where, including the door way.

[SunsetT]

5 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

Spot on.

 

Tho' I believe it is three concepts that entraps them (ostrich like) in their Ruritanian existence.

 

1.Sakdina

2.Face

3.Keng Jai.

can u try to explain 1 and 3 please.

[SunsetT]

1 hour ago, DUNROAMIN said:

Good article. He didn't mention my pet hate. Entering a persons house, doctors clinic, or whatever, and having to step over or around a mountain of shoes. I am sure some people are brain dead as they can't even read signs. Much the same when I go to a local 7 eleven you have to navigate through a sea of motor bikes parked every where, including the door way.

What gets me is when they leave the front rank of mbike parking spaces completely clear because they dont want to be blocked in by the 2nd rank, and when the 2nd rank is full u cant get at the 1st rank to park!!!

Edited February 3, 2018 by SunsetT

[Odysseus123]

Just now, SunsetT said:

can u try to explain 1 and 3 please.

Sure-Sakdina was/is a strictly codified heirarchical system introduced 400 years ago and (at the time)based on land ownership and ,in a way,was not very different from..say..the late Roman Empire which also had immensely constrictive and codified ranks.Presumably tho' it probably comes more from Mongol or possibly Turkish influence where possession of land indicated military service.

 

If you respond to this post then I will go on to talk about "kreng jai."

[thaibeachlovers]

22 hours ago, toofarnorth said:

Me too , catman20 , I have a good aussie mate way up here in woop -woop and when we meet in Lotus we pretend to avoid each other , me behind the fresh fish counter and Bruce behind Dairy Queen, the locals know us and it gets a few larfs from them.   Heard all the BS and don't need anymore.

I have to wonder about some of the farangs I pass in areas of LOS with few farangs, as they studiously avoid acknowledging my existence.

[isaanbanhou]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I have to wonder about some of the farangs I pass in areas of LOS with few farangs, as they studiously avoid acknowledging my existence.

Funny, I live in an area of few farang and when I go to Bangkok and walk up to chat with farang I see on the street often my existence is not acknowledged.  I'm glad to hear you have the same problem so it is obviously not anything to do with me

[transam]

3 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I have to wonder about some of the farangs I pass in areas of LOS with few farangs, as they studiously avoid acknowledging my existence.

Were you not wearing a shirt...?         

[eddysmit]

On 02/02/2018 at 5:20 AM, Samui Bodoh said:

Good, well-written article that should be given to all who come here for a long stay!

 

However,

 

"The 20-something bar girl with the short skirt and fetching smile probably doesn’t love you."

 

is just plain wrong. They have told me on numerous occasions that they love me and I believe them.

 

 

I can agree with that,we must both be the most handsome,'lovable' pair around, I lost the 'Young' bit years ago,well, I didn't, they just forget to say it that way now, 'handsome young man' ,don't know why?

[Lacessit]

On 2/2/2018 at 4:35 PM, jvs said:

No i can not read Thai,i just arrived yesterday.Is there still hope for me?You do not know anything about me yet you assume a lot.My time to assume you are renting?

AFAIK all I assumed is you can read Thai, not a lot of assumption. Yes, your assumption is correct - I don't "own" property in Thailand. To save you from making any further assumptions - no, I am not skint, and can easily afford to buy a house or condo. I choose not to, renting gives me flexibility. And it's peanuts compared to rents elsewhere. Is there still hope for you? Fuctifino.

[isaanbanhou]

On 2/1/2018 at 6:51 PM, alex8912 said:

No and thanks for posting. I've been here every late fall and winter for 17 years and many other trips before that as well.  Never met anyone who ever claimed this and I socialize a good amount. I think there are a lot of what I call TVF urban myths!  

But hey, I actually get taxis that use a meter all the time in BKK so maybe I'm just special lol. 

 

Getting to take the small bus to the "special" school really changed your life I am sure.  

[elgenon]

I am absolutely amazed when I go to the Silom MRT station and get in line to buy a button. They have a snaking pattern in tape on the floor and the Thais stick to it and don't jump the line. In what other country would this happen? I dropped a coin while in line and a woman bent down to retrieve it for me.

 

 

[smudger1951]

On 02/02/2018 at 6:16 AM, Thaiwrath said:

11. Beware of some expats, especially the ones who try to be your best friend, despite having just met you.

       Also, don't always believe the 'ex S.A.S., Navy Seal, Special forces' bullshit, as most who have done it, will 

        never ever mention it.  

Funny you should mention that, I've met ex-SAS & Mi5 & ones that owned a bar etc & the rest. Whats with this alternative persona.?

[ukrules]

42 minutes ago, smudger1951 said:

Funny you should mention that, I've met ex-SAS & Mi5 & ones that owned a bar etc & the rest. Whats with this alternative persona.?

 

I knew someone who worked at MI6 for a few years. These types of people often work in security when they leave and there are plenty of them around.

 

They don't go around telling everyone, not everyone likes spies, especially their old enemies and believe me there's plenty of their 'enemies' out there too.

 

Edited February 4, 2018 by ukrules

[Justgrazing]

On 02/02/2018 at 12:27 AM, bluesofa said:

Didn't the Thai army surrender to the Japanese only after a day or so during WW2?

But that's not colonisation...despite the fact they had Thai/Japanese banknotes during the war.

I'm happy to stand (well, sit) corrected if I'm way out on that one.

Indeed they did .. Thailand wavered and quivered about whose mast to nail their colours to in WW2 .. Dec 08/1941 Thailand swiftly acquiesced to the Japanese demand they " align " with the Empire after the Japanese attacked following Thailand's lack of response to the Empires 2 hour deadline issued the 07/12/1941.. And the Japanese stayed for the rest of the war so whilst they may view it as not being colonized they were certainly occupied though with increasing hostility from some Thai resistance groups .. not to mention the fact towards the end of WW2 they were fearing Victor's retribution from the allies so were quite willing to assist them in turfing the J Empire out and handing back spoils of war given over by the Japanese for their dedication/acquiescence ..

[Hugh Jarse]

On 2/2/2018 at 5:20 AM, Samui Bodoh said:

Good, well-written article that should be given to all who come here for a long stay!

 

However,

 

"The 20-something bar girl with the short skirt and fetching smile probably doesn’t love you."

 

is just plain wrong. They have told me on numerous occasions that they love me and I believe them.

 

 

You must be very hansum man!

[swissie]

On 3.2.2018 at 12:54 AM, Odysseus123 said:

Spot on.

 

Tho' I believe it is three concepts that entraps them (ostrich like) in their Ruritanian existence.

 

1.Sakdina

2.Face

3.Keng Jai.

3. Kheng jai = Hard Hearth (Hearth of stone).

[swissie]

On 3.2.2018 at 6:35 AM, thaibeachlovers said:

I have to wonder about some of the farangs I pass in areas of LOS with few farangs, as they studiously avoid acknowledging my existence.

HeHe! Why did we Farangs end up here? Because of the Temples? The Finnish-Sauna Climate? The Farang-Friendly Visa Situation? The "Legal-Certainty" that Thailand grants to Foreighners?
I think not.
Upon meeting other Farangs, a thought must immediately flare up: "Uhhh, probably another P***y-Whipped old fool, with a 20 year younger Thai-"Wife" (just like me)".
Fools don't like to associate with other fools, confirming their mutual foolishness during a conversation.Thus avoiding each others company.
Good thing, that in most cases their mother has already died. Otherwise they would have to live in constant fear that their mothers would come over and hit the "old-fool-son" over the head with a blunt object while exclaiming: "Have I raised a son to turn into an old fool in his advanced years?"

In a nutshell: We know why we ended up in Thailand and not in Eastern Timbuktu. No, it's definitely not for the Temples.
How many Farangs live in Rural-Thailand on their own (no GF, no Wife, no Thai-Family) and still claiming to have ended up "in Paradise". Not many.
Still, by just mutually acknowledging the fact, as to why we are here, this would make verbal Farang interactions so much easier and so much more relaxed.
Cheers.

 

[spidermike007]

On 2/2/2018 at 12:31 PM, SunsetT said:

 Yes, if nobody complains or is critical, i.e., tells u that u r doing something wrong or something is wrong then u never know that it is wrong!  This means u can never put it right and/or improve yourself or the situation. Thais rarely complain, I think, because they dont want to make the person doing something wrong 'Lose Face'. So I think this 'loss of face' element in Thai culture is seriously stunting their social, business, personal and national development. It seriously  inhibits any change and improvement. It also means that when Thais do face criticism or complaints, they often dont handle it well.

 

.

 

It is nearly impossible for many of us to get into the mind of the average Thai, when it comes to face. It weakens this entire society, and tears at the very fabric of Thailand. It prevents the people, and the society from maturing, and moving forward. It is a boil on the face of the nation.

 

Face is no doubt, the greatest form of weakness, a human can engage in. Many will say it is societal, cultural, etc. No matter. It is the absolute and complete lack of the ability to introspect, and look within for the source of any problem, shortcoming, conflict, or issue. It is the polar opposite of spirituality, and therefore an absolute scourge on Buddha, and all of the precepts he taught. By practicing face, you are denying your spiritual heritage. You are refusing to man up. To take responsibility for your actions. If a man or a woman cannot, and will not take responsibility for their actions, the problems they create, the mistakes they make, and the issues they involve themselves in, what are they? Are they still an adult? Are they a complete individual, if they allow themselves to be limited by such infinitely small social convention? 

 

Who cares what people think of you? For those of us with high self esteem, it just does not matter. Sure, close friends and family. But strangers on the street? Who gives a rat's butt about this? It means nothing what they think, nor what they say about you. They count for nothing. They are just people, and people you do not know, nor will ever see again. Face is rife with self doubt, and by subscribing to this weakness, and man or woman is made a far lesser person. For those of us with high self esteem, we know who we are. What others think, what society thinks, what a guy or gal thinks, means less than zero.

Real men or women, simply own a situation, and take responsibility for their errors or mistakes. Small men, social deviants, or emotional adolescents deflect, obfuscate, attempt to confuse, and do everything in their power to deny that they made a mistake, or that they are responsible in any way, or on any level. They make up narratives about fake news, or alternative facts. Anything to avoid looking within, for the source of the problem. Anything.

 

[Bangkok Barry]

1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

 

It is nearly impossible for many of us to get into the mind of the average Thai, when it comes to face. It weakens this entire society, and tears at the very fabric of Thailand. It prevents the people, and the society from maturing, and moving forward. It is a boil on the face of the nation.

 

Face is no doubt, the greatest form of weakness, a human can engage in. Many will say it is societal, cultural, etc. No matter. It is the absolute and complete lack of the ability to introspect, and look within for the source of any problem, shortcoming, conflict, or issue. It is the polar opposite of spirituality, and therefore an absolute scourge on Buddha, and all of the precepts he taught. By practicing face, you are denying your spiritual heritage. You are refusing to man up. To take responsibility for your actions. If a man or a woman cannot, and will not take responsibility for their actions, the problems they create, the mistakes they make, and the issues they involve themselves in, what are they? Are they still an adult? Are they a complete individual, if they allow themselves to be limited by such infinitely small social convention? 

 

Who cares what people think of you? For those of us with high self esteem, it just does not matter. Sure, close friends and family. But strangers on the street? Who gives a rat's butt about this? It means nothing what they think, nor what they say about you. They count for nothing. They are just people, and people you do not know, nor will ever see again. Face is rife with self doubt, and by subscribing to this weakness, and man or woman is made a far lesser person. For those of us with high self esteem, we know who we are. What others think, what society thinks, what a guy or gal thinks, means less than zero.

Real men or women, simply own a situation, and take responsibility for their errors or mistakes. Small men, social deviants, or emotional adolescents deflect, obfuscate, attempt to confuse, and do everything in their power to deny that they made a mistake, or that they are responsible in any way, or on any level. They make up narratives about fake news, or alternative facts. Anything to avoid looking within, for the source of the problem. Anything.

 

 

This is a candidate for Post Of the Year. Absolutely correct in every detail and perfectly presented.

[Moonlover]

On ‎2‎/‎2‎/‎2018 at 6:20 AM, ukrules said:

 

 

 

Rubbish, Thai people lose their temper, shout and scream and do anything they can to try and get their own way and that's just one example I saw in the Banana IT computer shop in Market Village, Hua Hin.

I remember seeing on TV, a Thai male having a complaint about a faulty toilet he had bought.

 

He didn't get satisfaction by complaining so he smashed the toilet with a sledge hammer, in public. That got the store's attention and he got his new toilet.

[Moonlover]

On ‎2‎/‎6‎/‎2018 at 1:14 PM, Bangkok Barry said:

 

This is a candidate for Post Of the Year. Absolutely correct in every detail and perfectly presented.

Completely agree. I rarely agree entirely with what I read on this forum, and often vehemently appose it, as many will know!

 

This post from Spidermike is absolutely spot on.