1 hour ago, tabarin said:

I could reverse the question with why does everyone need to be overly excited and fake about being happy about Thainess & Thailand?

Hypothesis ... your evident perceptions of "everyone's" behavior reflects: your own cultural background and its modal cognitive style; and, who you hang out with, or where you hang out.

 

However, a very common, and interesting, behavioral aspect of some expats is a kind of imitation/mimicry of that hard to define modal Thai culture trait/phenom, krieng jai, which from the western POV often appears as flattery or, "buttering  up, and sometimes results in comically exaggerated over-smiling.

 

Everybody I ever met everywhere is faking it, except the other me, who is Orang.

 

~o:37;

2 hours ago, Dante99 said:

Having lived thru a number of Thai coups and having experienced no adverse effects, I do not worry about them. 

Each to their own. If you do get caught in a shitstorm because you didn't have an exit plan, don't complain then. I prefer to consider all scenarios and have a plan in place.

1 hour ago, harriott456 said:

just in their home countries have little to zero chance of getting laid.!!

 

Forsooth, in their home countries there is no mother hen who would want such passing through, or, befouling the coop.

 

~o:37;

2 minutes ago, orang37 said:

However, a very common, and interesting, behavioral aspect of some expats is a kind of imitation/mimicry of that hard to define modal Thai culture trait/phenom, krieng jai, which from the western POV often appears as flattery or, "buttering  up, and sometimes results in comically exaggerated over-smiling.

And then people complain farangs don't integrate into the culture, this is a clear case of full integration. Grinning at some one's face and screwing them over the second they turn their backs is part of the essence of Thainess. 

5 minutes ago, DrTuner said:

And then people complain farangs don't integrate into the culture, this is a clear case of full integration. Grinning at some one's face and screwing them over the second they turn their backs is part of the essence of Thainess. 

That's a bit unfair, not every Thai behave that way, and nowhere in the world everything is perfect.

I am often perplexed with some aspect of Thai culture, but i try to understand, rather than criticise.

More often than not, i have found some logic behind some apparently strange behaviours.

Of course, i have no excuse for some deranged individual's actions, but we have plenty of those in Western countries too.

1 hour ago, harriott456 said:

just in their home countries have little to zero chance of getting laid.!!

Very true..and that is the whole crux of the matter..

 

Have YOU ever tried to make love to an Australian woman who is the cross between a woolly mammoth amd a besa block dunny and has the personality of a feral shopping trolley?

 

Tremble in fear,my friend,tremble in fear

5 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

Have YOU ever tried to make love to an Australian woman who is the cross between a woolly mammoth amd a besa block dunny and has the personality of a feral shopping trolley?

  

Well, maybe Italian women care a lot about their waist size, but i can assure you their personality is absolutely feral.

Back to Thailand, still licking my wounds

7 minutes ago, mauGR1 said:

That's a bit unfair, not every Thai behave that way

 

Please note that my comments re krieng jai, which "Dr. Turner" put through his generality-platitude-inanity trolling-machine, were about farangs, and, I do not judge the behavior described: I simply hypothesize about what I have seen, as aware as possible of how faulty my perceptions may be.

 

The phenomena of krieng jai, imho, is a complex subject, as in other modal cultural styles/traits over-determined, used in a variety of ways, by a variety of actors, with a variety of intentions. Sometimes a "mask" over anxiety, a disguise to hide deceit, a genuine expression of "when in doubt, kindness," subservience, graciousness, politeness, a "dodge" to deflect blame, or avoid loss of face, etc., etc.

 

~o:37;

3 minutes ago, orang37 said:

The phenomena of krieng jai, imho, is a complex subject, as in other modal cultural styles/traits over-determined, used in a variety of ways, by a variety of actors, with a variety of intentions. Sometimes a "mask" over anxiety, a disguise to hide deceit, a genuine expression of "when in doubt, kindness," subservience, graciousness, politeness, a "dodge" to deflect blame, or avoid loss of face, etc., etc.

That's a good description of "greng jai", i think, and yes, sometimes it could be used to hide deceit.

Personally, i have no doubt that originally it was meant to avoid an excess of attrition among humans.

5 hours ago, DrTuner said:

Each to their own. If you do get caught in a shitstorm because you didn't have an exit plan, don't complain then. I prefer to consider all scenarios and have a plan in place.

People plan, God laughs.

1 hour ago, Dante99 said:

People plan, God laughs.

Never heard the Great Flying Spaghetti Monster laugh. Must be terrifying.

19 hours ago, harriott456 said:

just in their home countries have little to zero chance of getting laid.!!

Hardly any guy over 40 has much chance of getting laid in the UK with a partner weighing less than 50Kg. 

On 4/19/2018 at 6:28 AM, sammieuk1 said:

I only came for the gambling, drugs, darts, bridge, vaping, and beach smoking but was miss informed.  

 

On 3/17/2019 at 10:38 AM, ThaiBunny said:

Indeed - no point in diluting a good beer even if it does fill up the glass

The glass is too big enough.

Most of us come from countries with high levels of immigration.  Most of those immigrants have no interest in integrating or being part of the fabric of the country.  They move to those countries and then create their own enclaves of people from their own country.   Many if not most of this despise the native populations, but they stay anyway.  Why should it be any different for Westerners moving to Thailand? 

2 hours ago, Mikeh00 said:

Most of us come from countries with high levels of immigration.  Most of those immigrants have no interest in integrating or being part of the fabric of the country.  They move to those countries and then create their own enclaves of people from their own country.   Many if not most of this despise the native populations, but they stay anyway.  Why should it be any different for Westerners moving to Thailand? 

I guess of that its ones negativity, mind and thinking about a place and life.

I personally do not despise 25 year old cute and sexy girls to spend lots of time with.

Love most of them actually.....

I love the country and the food.

But this stupid thainess thing is just an excuse for bad behaviour and low intelligence 

On 3/18/2019 at 6:56 AM, BritManToo said:

Hardly any guy over 40 has much chance of getting laid in the UK with a partner weighing less than 50Kg. 

Rolf Harris would disagree, with an oomph and an ahhhh.

Probably because many of them are already here and they liked it when it was not so anti farang from the Junta. 

Just noticed the OP title has a fundamental flaw: Farangs didn't come to Thailand hating Thais and Thainess, they learned to hate it while already here. The question should be why don't they bugger off ASAP.

 

Seems those that can are doing exactly that, others are stuck for whatever reasons. Usually this time of the year the entire forum was full of people crying bloody murder about getting wet in Songkran, now you can hear the crickets. Farang has left the building.

On 4/19/2018 at 12:50 PM, Jingthing said:

I'm somewhat guilty of what the O.P. is saying. I can't relate to "Thainess" at all. My personality is closer to a New Yorker even though I'm not one. I like to speak plainly. I want to complain when it is deserved without people freaking out, and losing face myself, when it's actually the people that have deserved the criticism that should lose face in my POV. The respect for authority without critical thinking truly and deeply grates. It seems ignorant and radically anti-intellectual. Don't get me started on the quality of Thai mass entertainment. OMG!

 

I'm just here (in Pattaya) because it's a poorer man's Miami. The visas are easy, the food is good and cheap, you can buy prescription meds cheaply without prescriptions, I hate cold and snow, etc.

 

I don't have anything against the people here specifically, but again, the culture is a bad fit for me.

 

Every choice is a tradeoff especially if you ain't wealthy. For me the pros have (so far) outweighed the obviously very bad fit with the culture. 

 

I know there are lots of people like me as well. Judge me, or them, harshly if you like. Who cares? 

Excellent analysis. Why should living in Thailand mean rejecting my own culture? Western nations have propped this country up for years, despite its rejection of every democratic principle we stand for. During the Vietnam War years, Thailand was ripe for a Communist takeover. We should have let it happen. Look at how well Vietnam is doing these days. Farangs are WELCOME in Vietnam, despite our shoddy treatment of the country. China is the only hope that Thailand has.

8 minutes ago, KhunFred said:

Western nations have propped this country up for years, despite its rejection of every democratic principle we stand for. During the Vietnam War years, Thailand was ripe for a Communist takeover. We should have let it happen. Look at how well Vietnam is doing these days. Farangs are WELCOME in Vietnam, despite our shoddy treatment of the country. China is the only hope that Thailand has.

Your post made me laugh.  Are you an old American white Trump supporting, army loving, flag kissing man by any chance?

 

'Western nations have propped this county up for years'...…… Really?  How, where are you facts about that?  

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 hours ago, KhunFred said:

Excellent analysis. Why should living in Thailand mean rejecting my own culture? Western nations have propped this country up for years, despite its rejection of every democratic principle we stand for. During the Vietnam War years, Thailand was ripe for a Communist takeover. We should have let it happen. Look at how well Vietnam is doing these days. Farangs are WELCOME in Vietnam, despite our shoddy treatment of the country. China is the only hope that Thailand has.

FYI, Vietnam is a communist country and the communist won.

 

Most people  in Vietnam don't know what the Farang did, I watched a movie that said that some were r.... by GI joe.

... for the food...

From experience living in Spain, the Brits live there to escape from uk Life, then almost instantly complain about everything spanish. Maybe its the expat way.  I understand Aussies say they can always tell when a plane load of brits arrive as they can hear the whining above the whining of the jets...

 

 

I came for the music, but even that is not what it was and most of the great venues have been turned into 7/11's or condos.

45 minutes ago, beau thai said:

From experience living in Spain, the Brits live there to escape from uk Life, then almost instantly complain about everything spanish. Maybe its the expat way.  I understand Aussies say they can always tell when a plane load of brits arrive as they can hear the whining above the whining of the jets...

 

 

I have actually never met a Brit in Thailand who did not complain about everything.

When I hear a Brit talking now, I get up and sit someplace else.

Not sure why all the negativity have always wondered if it is just part of their culture.

My answer is Seems more of us are going then coming.

1 hour ago, bkk6060 said:

I have actually never met a Brit in Thailand who did not complain about everything.

When I hear a Brit talking now, I get up and sit someplace else.

Not sure why all the negativity have always wondered if it is just part of their culture.

Your meeting the wrong ones....or you just dont understand our culture and sense of humor.

5 hours ago, bkk6060 said:

I have actually never met a Brit in Thailand who did not complain about everything.

When I hear a Brit talking now, I get up and sit someplace else.

Not sure why all the negativity have always wondered if it is just part of their culture.

I'm a Brit, and complain as much as the rest... that said, I recently had a hospital invite and my wife was solid as a rock and did everything possible to help me and I have huge gratitude for that, she really went the extra mile, but, then I ask a simple yes/no question and am left out in the field.  I can't work it out.