my thai friend dying from HIV

[pumpjack]

i have known my friend since 5 years ago, she is a ladyboy and she is now 25 years old,  she confided in me last year that she is HIV positive,   this year she seems to be getting steadilly worse and today she said she does not have the power to get up from bed, she been losing her power about 3 months or so,   is this the way things go when it starts going to fully blown AIDS ?   she says she does not know when she got this disease. 

anyway, i told her about red cross treatment centre in bkk and she can get treatment " free "  she states if she went to get this free meds then her name would go onto a register of sorts and everyone in her village would know and she would become an outcast and discrace her family,  she says also that any employer would not employ her because of this register, is this true ?

for good medicine she says meds are approx 5400 baht per month but she has little money .  i dont want see her die, but have told her that she needs to get her life in  order and start treatment. 

last week i sent her 5000 baht but im not prepared to send her any more, could she be lying to me to get money, she never once asked me for a single thing all the years ive known her so i guess she is being upfront with me.

what would you do in this situation, i could not bring myself to let her die even though its not my responsibility, its just not in me and i think if i did see proof that indeed if she were dying then i think i would send her 5000 per month for like a year untill she was better and got herself into employment again, but its so hard for her, she was a receptionist in hotel and her salary is eaten up with her food and room and maybe 2000 left per month .  feel so sorry for her.

 

does anyone know the price of good meds in bkk ?  a decent doctor ?  any advise for me would be gratefull

thanks

JACK

[manarak]

the idea of a publicly accessible register of Thai HIV patients seems very wrong and I'm sure by now we would have heard about it.

maybe she herself is sincere because she believes the bullshit fed to her by another person, but I would bet against the existence of such leaky register.

tell her to go get her meds for free ASAP.

 

[Sheryl]

There is no register of people with HIV and there is no way that getting treatment at the Thai red Cross would get known in her village, that is all nonsense.  However, treatment is not free at the Thai Red Cross, just low cost.

 

To get HIV meds free she has to go to a government hospital where she is registered or, if she has Social Security, to the SS hospital where she is registered.

 

It is true that when people get treatment at hospitals in their home area, if it is a fairly small rural area,  it sometimes gets known - not because of any sort of register but because  there are often separate HIV clinics, and people who know them might see them going there. And, regrettably, sometimes hospital staff talk. Perhaps this is what she meant.  Though she needs to decide if this concern is worth dying for.  The idea that it would prevent her getting a job elsewhere in the country, is utterly false.

 

Meds if gotten at the TRC cost around 2-3K a month depending on which ones. if she has not yet, she needs to first have a viral load and CD4 test done.

 

She should contact these  organization for detailed counselling  and assistance

 

https://www.facebook.com/thfthailand/

 

https://www.aidshealth.org/global/thailand/

 

 

[balo]

I think your ladyboy friend is lying to you to get money, just my personal opinion of course.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Well, I don't think she is lying to you if she can't get out of bed. Maybe pay to get her to see a doctor and the doctor can confirm what Sheryl said here.

[colinneil]

First your friend was born male, therefore he is male... HE.

Second i think you are being fed a load of BS as Sheryl has pointed out nobody would know.

Keep your money, stop listening to the nonsense, some people with say anything to get money from others they see as a soft touch.

[Lacessit]

8 minutes ago, colinneil said:

First your friend was born male, therefore he is male... HE.

Second i think you are being fed a load of BS as Sheryl has pointed out nobody would know.

Keep your money, stop listening to the nonsense, some people with say anything to get money from others they see as a soft touch.

Guess who's getting this week's award for compassion and understanding.

[pumpjack]

18 minutes ago, colinneil said:

First your friend was born male, therefore he is male... HE.

Second i think you are being fed a load of BS as Sheryl has pointed out nobody would know.

Keep your money, stop listening to the nonsense, some people with say anything to get money from others they see as a soft touch.

she is a woman born with male genitalia, she cannot bear to see or touch " that thing " so for me i will think of her as a woman as she also feels like a woman , thinks like a woman , looks like a woman , so a bit of respect here i think !    and above all a decent human being so i think your reply is BS

Edited May 31, 2018 by pumpjack

[manarak]

31 minutes ago, colinneil said:

First your friend was born male, therefore he is male... HE.

just a tad tactless....

[colinneil]

33 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Guess who's getting this week's award for compassion and understanding.

You will need to tell me, as i dont know.??

Born male, birth certificate says male, then he is male, whatever he thinks he is.

[Lacessit]

2 minutes ago, colinneil said:

You will need to tell me, as i dont know.??

Born male, birth certificate says male, then he is male, whatever he thinks he is.

I'm now assuming you have not heard of gender reassignment.

Can't help you with the other thing, I don't know either.

[mfd101]

I have encountered this problem several years ago with a young friend (around 20) of my b/f. He lived in BKK but wouldn't go for treatment because of status issue. When he got sick he left BKK for his village where he died at home a few weeks later.

 

Reality & what people believe are two different things, in every country in the world.

[dddave]

I personally know two Thais who have been HIV positive for nearly 15 years and are living normal lives to this day. Both live in Isan villages and both are treated under the government sponsored HIV treatment program.  They are picked up by a van once a month and taken to a regional clinic where they are examined, tested and receive their monthly supply of medications.  AFAIK, there is minimal or no charge.

One of these persons is a former GF's younger brother.  In that small Moo Ban of less than 600 people, there are 5 other HIV+ individuals and from what I understand, this is not unusual throughout Isan.  Certainly, the OP's friend will probably have some family reaction but HIV+ positive people are not generally ostracized. Everybody has their own problems to deal with.

If the OP's friend gets the help she needs, a full life is possible.

[SoNowWhat]

She is mistaken in the idea that there is a 'registry for HIV positive people' . She can go to Bangkok Red Cross and recieve medication starting from about 1,000 baht plus another 2,500 baht if she does not have current lab results. If you really want to help, do go with her to the Thai Red Cross and get her started on medication straight away. Conversely you can take her to a clinic or hospital in another nearby city for immediate treatment. People sometimes afraid to face HIV however with proper medication she will lead a happy and long life. The medication when taken properly Wil also reduce the levels of the virus to undetectable levels ensuring that she can no longer transmit it. Best of luck. PM if you need more infirmation.

[rascalman]

She must have known that she could get sick. Choice was bad but God bless. 

[CharlieH]

Inflammatory remark and response removed.

[Scouse123]

On 5/31/2018 at 4:38 PM, pumpjack said:

she is a woman born with male genitalia, she cannot bear to see or touch " that thing " so for me i will think of her as a woman as she also feels like a woman , thinks like a woman , looks like a woman , so a bit of respect here i think !    and above all a decent human being so i think your reply is BS

 

The International Red Cross and Thai Red Cross just would not allow such a register to be kept that could be accessed by her local hospitals and clinics, it would be against their code of ethics. Sheryl is completely right in all points that she has raised.

 

The danger in the villages and small towns is they have nothing to do all day except gossip! That is how 99% of information gets passed on, not through registers. People these days, even in Thailand and other developing countries, do not need to die from HIV/AIDS as safeguards are in place even if they are penniless.

 

HIV is no longer a death sentence.

 

If I helped, I would certainly point out and put her under no illusion, that this is a short-term help situation and she must proactively help herself in the long run. You cannot allow them to fall into the ' expected ' category and then you are the monster when you no longer give.

 

Another story doing the rounds is that they give out of date medicines or medicines that are inferior when patients cannot afford to pay which is equally nonsense, and another story probably made up by some villager on their front porch or lazing in their hammock.

Edited September 19, 2018 by Scouse123

[ndfdjnd]

On 5/31/2018 at 10:06 AM, Sheryl said:

However, treatment is not free at the Thai Red Cross, just low cost.

Treatment is free for men who have sex with men, at least that's what it says when you go in there on the left hand side of the room...

 

I debated saying I was gay just to get the free treatment.

[ndfdjnd]

OP first you should ask to see proof - an original test result preferably.  Not being able to get out of bed could be a lie or it could be true, unless you're standing over the bed all day you'd have no way of knowing.  Some people lie and you sound like the gullible, easily-influenced type, no offence.  I wouldn't personally give any money for a treatment that is low cost or free.  And besides you have no way of knowing the money will be spent on medication, unless you go to the clinic together.

[rott]

The thread is now more than three months old, the OP must know by now whether it is HIV or not. Perhaps he just lost interest as he is still active on TVF but not on this thread.

[Sheryl]

Or perhaps his original question has been adequately answered.

Sent from my SM-J701F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[SoNowWhat]

On 9/20/2018 at 1:55 AM, ndfdjnd said:

Treatment is free for men who have sex with men, at least that's what it says when you go in there on the left hand side of the room...

 

I debated saying I was gay just to get the free treatment.

Treatment is not free, unless you are involved in a study. It is however easily available for a very low cost with a month's supply of medication starting from B1.050. There was a program for free PrEP for gay men but unsure if it is still active probably because a month's supply of PrEP is now only B370.  As of this week I saw no sign there indicating 'free' treatment. Some Thai citizens used to be eligible for free HIV tests but also unsure if that continues. 

[SoNowWhat]

15 hours ago, Sheryl said:

Or perhaps his original question has been adequately answered.

Yes here's hoping that his friend has received medication and is doing better and back on track for a healthy normal life. OP please also check that your friend is adhering to their medication schedule as it can be tricky for some people just starting out, any update would be great.

[Sheryl]

Treatment is not free, unless you are involved in a study. It is however easily available for a very low cost with a month's supply of medication starting from B1.050. There was a program for free PrEP for gay men but unsure if it is still active probably because a month's supply of PrEP is now only B370.  As of this week I saw no sign there indicating 'free' treatment. Some Thai citizens used to be eligible for free HIV tests but also unsure if that continues. 

It is however all free at the govt hospital where someone is registered.

Registration is based on tabian ban and it is possible to change that so if someone wishes to be treated at another location that would be a way. Would need a friend or relative with tabian ban im the preferred location willing to add them on.

Sent from my SM-J701F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[ndfdjnd]

6 hours ago, SoNowWhat said:

Treatment is not free, unless you are involved in a study. It is however easily available for a very low cost with a month's supply of medication starting from B1.050.

I should have said testing, not treatment, I suppose.  The poster that I saw was in the waiting room and under the 'brandname' Adam's Love.  On their website they are still advertising a number of free test sites for HIV, including the one in Bangkok at Ratchadamri.  There's no mention of the free test only being available to Thais, but who knows.

 

http://www.adamslove.org/thailand/en-d.php?id=68

[soalbundy]

On 5/31/2018 at 4:06 PM, Sheryl said:

There is no register of people with HIV and there is no way that getting treatment at the Thai red Cross would get known in her village, that is all nonsense.  However, treatment is not free at the Thai Red Cross, just low cost.

 

To get HIV meds free she has to go to a government hospital where she is registered or, if she has Social Security, to the SS hospital where she is registered.

 

It is true that when people get treatment at hospitals in their home area, if it is a fairly small rural area,  it sometimes gets known - not because of any sort of register but because  there are often separate HIV clinics, and people who know them might see them going there. And, regrettably, sometimes hospital staff talk. Perhaps this is what she meant.  Though she needs to decide if this concern is worth dying for.  The idea that it would prevent her getting a job elsewhere in the country, is utterly false.

 

Meds if gotten at the TRC cost around 2-3K a month depending on which ones. if she has not yet, she needs to first have a viral load and CD4 test done.

 

She should contact these  organization for detailed counselling  and assistance

 

https://www.facebook.com/thfthailand/

 

https://www.aidshealth.org/global/thailand/

 

 

In my village there are 3 people with HIV, everybody knows about them. My wife say's that once you are officially registered the treatment is free. One really lovely lady (my best friend in the village) is 63 years old and has had treatment for around 15 years (caught it from her husband who has since died of aids) she is as strong as an ox.