The week that was in Thailand news: Hey Media - leave them kids alone!

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: Hey Media - leave them kids alone!

 

 

I couldn't wait to leave school. 

 

It all seemed such a waste of time with the world waiting for me outside the Alleyn's School gates in South London.

 

Last day of my second year of sixth form was on a Friday. I had had more than enough by the Thursday and gave the final day of shallow goodbyes a wide berth opting instead to go to a horse race track - a sphere of activity that had taught me Maths when countless "masters" had failed. 

 

On the following Monday - at least armed with a fledgling ability to write - I started work at a newspaper office in Croydon in the outer London suburbs. Life had finally begun. 

 

My crusty but friendly assistant new editor took the then 18 year old cub reporter Rooster under his wing and gave me some cryptic advice on my first day: 

 

"Remember...don't let the bastards grind you down".

 

He then went back to his manual typewriter and the roll-up balanced on his lip. 

 

Prior to this the bastards had always been the teachers insisting on rules and homework. Now I was wondering who they might be in this brave new adult world. 

 

I was soon to discover in an existence free from the protection of schoolmasters that the bastards he referred to were none other than the human race. OK, perhaps not every single one of them but a fair proportion!

 

The sage if brief words from back in 1979 were ringing in my ears this week as the almost unbelievable Tham Luang cave saga continued in soap opera vein to keep the story riding high not just in Thailand but throughout the supposedly civilized world too.

 

It began with the unseemly spat between Elon Musk and one of the British heroes of the cave rescue, Vern Unsworth,  a resident of Chiang Rai.

 

Musk Melon - clearly a nasty piece of billionaire work - called him a "pedo". 

 

Rooster, trained in the dark arts of libel and its relative slander at the newspaper office, found it amazing that some posters claimed that Musk's outburst was reasonable following Vern's advice to stick his mini-sub where the sun don't shine.

 

Vern was well within his rights - Musk was just trying for PR with an absurd item of "kit" that would never have had a chance of being useful even if he was on time - and it wasn't. 

 

I hope Vern takes him for everything he can get though I really liked the suggestion of one Thaivisa poster who suggested that he could donate any litigation proceeds to the family of Ja Sam who died in the rescue attempt. 

 

That would be two motorcycle taxi guys - "win-win" in common parlance. 

 

Frankly, it is worrying that anyone can think that it is acceptable to go around calling people a pedophile no matter what the provocation. What amounts to an extremely serious crime was shown to be high up the list of investigations for the Thai authorities after an English teacher was arrested in Bangkok for having disgusting images of children on his computer and phone. 

 

Incredibly he was caught in a sting sharing the images and even incredibler (if there is such a word) was his attempt at mitigation that the images were for his personal use. 

 

Jeez - that sounded like an excuse he had learned from the Thai men who hack their ex's to pieces because they had a thimbleful of lao khao and a kitchen knife handy. 

 

Anyway I digress....back to Musk. Following the 3.5% wiped off his company's shares in the wake of the "pedo" slur he came out with his attempt at apology.

 

For this he seemed to have been reading from the Thai Tourism Ministry "Book of Standard Excuses" as he wound up blaming Mr Unsworth for starting the sexual references. 

 

In a week in which Drumph made an even bigger fool of himself than usual it was hard to decide who was the bigger cretin. Certainly Rooster will never be of the opinion that money and business acumen ever indicates having two brain cells to rub together. 

 

Continuing in an intellectually challenged vein was that arch twit Weerasak Kowsurat who masquerades as the tourism minister.  

 

Weerasak appeared at a press conference with a beaming smile on his face to say that the Phoenix boat tragedy that claimed so many innocent Chinese tourist lives "would only marginally affect tourism".

 

Resign now and please find an unstable rock to crawl under, minister - oh, and wipe that childish grin off your face too.

 

Even worse was deputy PM Prawit who went a step further by blaming the Chinese boat owners in an apparent attempt to absolve himself and other Thais from blame. 

 

Mainland Chinese went ballistic while The Nation condemned fugly Prawit in an editorial that pulled few punches calling his words "grossly offensive" and a "predictable response". 

 

This disgrace to a failing government needs to leave now. And if he doesn't leave how much longer will it be before the baht drops and the general PM realizes that he a political liability?

 

Surely even the general's fledgling understand of politics should stretch to the realization that he must distance himself from DPM Rolex?

 

And so the cave story continued as if Thaivisa had nothing better to report on! 

 

Ten...no, fifteen stories a day were dredged up as posters on the forum started to plead for the media and authorities to "leave them kids alone".

 

Then culture minister Vera - so quiet since he made a complete aerosol of himself by trying to get pretties at the motor show to cover up and show more Thai-ness - reared his decidedly unwelcome head above the cultural parapet.

 

He wanted to coordinate the Hollywood companies clamoring  for the rights to make "Mu Pa - the movie". 

 

You could almost see the dollar signs whizzing across the hapless minister's eyeballs all under the guise of making sure that producers follow Thailand's laws and put the environment back the way they found it afterwards.

 

Begging the question that they might accomplish that by leaving it in the same mess....

 

Amid the "Cave Chaos" was a surprising and heartwarming event that was the official news conference for the boys, their coach and the Navy Seals held in Chiang Rai on Wednesday.

 

Mrs Rooster - fed up with caves interrupting her regular early evening soaps - complained about me hogging the TV for the new conference. But I couldn't get enough of it. 

 

It was brilliantly done; at the same time it was heartwarming, fun, informative and tear-jerking. I was left with a feeling of pride at being half Thai and was even moved to write about the occasion in a highly favorably comment piece published the next day.

 

Here was Thailand at its "sanuk" best putting a welcome sym in front of pathetic.

 

The only downside was the feeling of foreboding for the boys and their coach. Their very private ordeal - or so it appeared to them in the depths of Tham Luang - is now being replaced with one in the public eye that might prove to be even harder to handle. 

 

Yes, it is time to move on and enjoy the madness and madcap humor that Thaivisa's news pages afford. 

 

First up was the midweek plethora of "D-Days". Thailand has now embraced this term and it is as much a part of Thai news media language as vernacular versions of "fled the scene" and "transferred to HQ during the committee's investigation". 

 

Except it is adapted from the heroic exploits of Omaha beach to include revised D-Days when the original ones are ignored by the Thai public. 

 

D-Day number one was some time in July as the Environment Minister declared holey war on plastic bags at fresh food markets. He wants a twenty percent reduction on plastic and a ten percent reduction on foam. 

 

Quite pathetic. Thailand needs to ban the bloody things completely and tell companies like CP who run 7/11 to follow suit or else. Forward thinking countries around the world have done it and been very successful so why is Thailand being such an oriental wuss.

 

Okay, I know why. Influential people like the owners of CP might be obliged to purchase one less top end Ferrari per day. Understandable.

 

Still, it really is time the junta stopped pussyfooting about on environmental issues. The public have got used to having no democracy thrust upon them so they should have little difficulty in carrying their own container to the "khao gaeng" shop to pick up their evening curry. 

 

The second D-day involved one of the junta's real success stories - completely ruining the vibrant street life of Bangkok. 

 

Don't get me wrong - it has been nice to be able to wheel my little one around in her buggy on uncluttered streets recently. But at the expense of the Bangkok that I know, love and intend to go up in smoke in....no thanks.

 

The latest clean-up involves shifting out all of the vendors in the Khao San Road area. 

 

The general deputy governor had gone with his minions and found the daytime organised and "riap roi". 

 

But after sunset he observed there was mayhem and it was completely "may riap roi" - something that the military despise unless they are annihilating a hapless enemy. 

 

So now Khao San along with much of the rest of Krung Thep will be sanitized and sterilized so that emergency vehicles can get through.

 

Thank goodness for progress.....

 

Later in the week tourism supremo Weerasak surfaced again. This time he was burbling something about making the country safe for tourists saying in his best Harvard sneer that it was hardly surprising that foreigners thought of Thailand as a bit risky.

 

Apart from the fact that he has no teeth to affect such change, I really would suggest that when conducting press conferences he wear the standard suit and tie. 

 

He appeared on stage with what we cub scouts used to call a scarf and a woggle. 

 

Dib dib dib - duh duh duh - dork dork dork.

 

Providing some light relief (though both her chest-bound assets seemed decidedly heavy) was Katie Price - the slapper formerly know as Jordan much beloved of the UK tabloids who was pictured hogging most of a Thai beach with her bobbling appendages. 

 

Inevitable the story brought every forum curmudgeon out from behind their keyboard to comment on everything from silicone to public morals. 

 

Rooster, who prefers slim Thai women who keep their clothes on in public at least, only had eyes for Ms Price's ghastly tattoos. 

 

When will women learn that there is a good reason why a large proportion of the male population refer to them as "tramp stamp"....

 

The latest "copper praised on social media" was one who keeps helmets in the trunk of his car to hand out to schoolkids riding bikes without protection. On the face of it this might seem admirable but that is all it is...face.

 

The helmet looked like the 99 baht ones from Tesco Lotus made out of eggshell whose function is to keep the constabulary at bay and the rain off. While the kid in the video found it almost impossible to know how to put it on.

 

It felt like it was only a matter of time before we read the "Award winning Thai kid upturns free helmet, fills it with earth and uses it as inventive hanging basket" story. 

 

Much more serious was the ex-monk caught after returning home to Isaan from a fishing trip to Krabi. He had defrocked himself - how noble - and gone on the run after poisoning an 18 year old girl some months ago with a "magic potion" supposed to rid her of a curse. 

 

It is high time that this mumbo-jumbo practiced by the clergy and assorted charlatans is properly dealt with. This should be swiftly followed by a massive crackdown on alcohol followed by the setting up of regulated government ganja shops on every street corner.

 

Then Rooster woke up. 

 

So lastly to a couple of Rooster awards. Outside Thailand, it was a week when the loony in the White House said that he would definitely say that his security services wouldn't be what they couldn't be or Russian words to that effect.....Niet....You get the idea.

 

After leaving us all flummoxed in the wake of his bizarre attempt at intelligible speech and acceptable statesmanlike behavior, I would like to award my "Best Comment of The Week" to a protester in London who had the following placard: 

 

"All in all you're just another prick with no wall". 

 

Pink Floyd take a second bow. 

 

Finally the prestigious "Even My Wife Is Not Such A Bad Driver" award goes to the Pattaya woman videoed crying in the South Pattaya streets after smashing up her car following a resort road rampage.

 

If this wasn't bad enough one Facebook poster alerted us to the fact that the same drunk menace had overturned her same Toyota Altis in virtually the same place three years ago. 

 

Like Jordan and her assets it really is time that you put them away, madam. 

 

Your car keys that is. 

 

Rooster

 

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2018-07-21

 

[nahkit]

17 hours ago, rooster59 said:

This should be swiftly followed by a massive crackdown on alcohol

Go and wash your mouth out with soap and water.

 

Uttering such profanities!

[Artisi]

8 hours ago, nahkit said:

Go and wash your mouth out with soap and water.

 

Uttering such profanities!

Profanities-- wishful thinking more like it 

[tryasimight]

Banning plastic bags would save the large retailers millions.  Rather than foregoing the Ferrari , they could buy two. 

Additionally they could do has been recently done in Oz..... Sell reusable bags with the company logo so that consumers also have to pay for advertising.

[sambum]

29 minutes ago, tryasimight said:

Banning plastic bags would save the large retailers millions.  Rather than foregoing the Ferrari , they could buy two. 

Additionally they could do has been recently done in Oz..... Sell reusable bags with the company logo so that consumers also have to pay for advertising.

Already being done by Macro with canvas bags and  reusable heavy plastic bags.

[MaiDong]

Everything you said, Rooster, spot on.

[Farang99]

It is high time that this mumbo-jumbo practiced by the clergy and assorted charlatans is properly dealt with. This should be swiftly followed by a massive crackdown on alcohol followed by the setting up of regulated government ganja shops on every street corner.

 

Then Rooster woke up. 

 

Too true

[Aussie69]

Brilliant, accurate and funny as always [emoji106]

[Stargeezr]

Time for paper or metal sippy straws, and for people to use their cloth shopping bags

like they do in some other countries. won't happen very quickly in Asia though.

Another good read Rooster.

Geezer