Frustrated Farang Husband

[ncc1701d]

Kids are going to undergo changes regardless. They aren’t stupid and will pick up on the resentment and endless fighting if you stay. They will undergo changes seeing less of their mother if you go. But kids are resilient, don’t worry about them other than their wellbeing. There is no win situation other than being happy yourself. 

 

You don’t have to justify your reasons for leaving. 

 

 

[arcturaz]

16 hours ago, rumak said:

read your original post again.   are you schizophrenic?  .   It seems you are the one reversing all logic.

I'm outahere.     

A rude obnoxious person, good those people get out. Bye. 

[arcturaz]

13 hours ago, swissie said:

Summarising the advice concerning this thread: Most posters advice is: "Get out of this living hell". Fine. Under the circumstance, it seems to be the thing to do.

UNLESS:

- The Farang has invested a major part of his life-savings in "immovable" assets in paradise. (Land, House etc.)
Not easy to get "the hell out of dodge" and live off a "pension" in the future. Especially if the "pension" only allowes for a 6000 Bht fan-room in Pattaya or a bedsit in the UK.

Over the last 22 years I have met a few so called "well-established" Farangs in Thailand that are living under similar circumstances like the OP, commenting their situation with: "I have no other place to go to anymore", my situation will not allow for it". (Referring to their financial-situation, I suppose).
So they tend to stay in their known self created hell (that they paid for), instead of heading for a new unknow form of hell.
In short: "Getting out of dodge" is easily said. Without the ability to bankroll the "getting out of dodge", it may turn out to be as "not feasable".
No money= no honey and no "starting over".
Cheers.

Finances are not the problem. There is zero percent Thai involvement in any of my business or financial interests. 

[arcturaz]

35 minutes ago, ncc1701d said:

Kids are going to undergo changes regardless. They aren’t stupid and will pick up on the resentment and endless fighting if you stay. They will undergo changes seeing less of their mother if you go. But kids are resilient, don’t worry about them other than their wellbeing. There is no win situation other than being happy yourself. 

 

You don’t have to justify your reasons for leaving. 

 

 

Correct %100

[arcturaz]

7 hours ago, RicUSA said:

I've read only parts of this and not knowing the wife or family of the wife (I do not say "your" wife as you never possess another human).  If you stay in Thailand - the mother will have visitation rights correct?  This means she will know where you live.  Woman are unpredictable - bad things could happen to you when those visitations occur or at other unknown times when you are at home..  Maybe just me being paranoid.  Am also a bit perplexed as to why you want to raise a boy (DNA testing done?) and adopted daughter by yourself.  I do not know your age and "business" situation - but having raised a son I can tell you it is not easy or cheap.  Children are a joy, yet limit your social life tremendously with or without a spouse .  With children there are no guarantees that they will love and respect you after they "mature"....they can become similar to a bad thai family - wanting money all the time and you rarely ever see them or hear from them.  Yes am a bit cynical as well as paranoid it seems - or maybe I was just a bad father - though I do not think so.  Faith may provide comfort - but is not Truth

I think this is a problem all human beings face; giving love and support, yet often not receiving love and support in return. For this, there are no guarantees, nor sound-bite answers. A person needs to make their own choice about what they intend to give, and how they will deal with an unfair outcome. 

[arcturaz]

On 8/23/2018 at 8:55 AM, rumak said:

 Depressed and alone - former US Navy man slashes his neck with box cutters in Pattaya bathroom

 

first 3 words say it all.   the reason so many farangs get into relationships that are bad....or turn bad... and then find it so hard to leave

This guy rumack need a psychiatrist 

[DJ54]

Seriously. How do they learn these tactics? The reason I say learn is many sing out of the same book with same tactics

 

Most people don’t grow thinking of taking advantage of others.

 

But maybe I’m naive and live in a wish world. 

[BritManToo]

8 hours ago, RicUSA said:

I do not know your age and "business" situation - but having raised a son I can tell you it is not easy or cheap. 

Raised 6, found it easy and cheap, but didn't do it in the USA.

[gaff]

9 hours ago, catman20 said:

had a vasectomy years ago, im far to smart for these chicks. 

im no meal ticket ! ?

 

And never regretted ?

I am also wondering if I should secure my future ?

 

 

[gaff]

9 hours ago, Hummin said:

Is it only me, why have kids in Thailand? Of course if you are rich, and then I mean rich and wealthy, of course you have a solid ground to start with, but with everything that can happen down here, the culture, and no rights at all as an citizen (stranger)? I just do not get it. Yes, have a gf, get married of visa reasons, or whatever, but having kids? Sorry, off topic

 

So true !

 

 

[catman20]

20 minutes ago, gaff said:

 

And never regretted ?

I am also wondering if I should secure my future ?

 

 

never regretted it for 1 second it was one of the best things ive ever done along with getting divorced, giving up smoking and coming to Thailand. trust me you will never regret it. smart men do it stupids ones only ever think about doing it.?

[Mike West]

Is this a wind up? you expect us to take you seriously? LOL 

[rumak]

1 hour ago, Mike West said:

Is this a wind up? you expect us to take you seriously? LOL 

he's already started calling out people ( me for one   haha)   that question his sanity..

 

i think the majority here have made their feelings known.   but he is different

[Don Chance]

Setting Limits with Crazy Bitches

 

[pgrahmm]

3 minutes ago, Don Chance said:

Setting Limits with Crazy Bitches

 

Takers have no limits = have to be set by the giver/law/etc....

 

 

Only 2 types of people - woe to the indiscriminate giver....

[rumak]

Cesar Milan :    Rules, boundaries, and limitations.    Works with dogs..... and works just as well with

human interactions.    

 

How rarely do I see this in actual relationships !    I'd open up a training center...but ... with so many in

denial (listening OP?)....  it just falls on deaf ears

[zzaa09]

1 hour ago, rumak said:

he's already started calling out people ( me for one   haha)   that question his sanity..

 

i think the majority here have made their feelings known.   but he is different

Perhaps not so different, as he doesn't explore [nor has the ability to] the possibility that he's the crux of problems or issues - which might be expected, more than not. 

 

Always them....never us. ?

[Hummin]

@Don Chance

 

Saying goodbye to crazy bitches!

 

Christ sake, I have never met so many strange people and crazy people who claim to be normal, as in Thailand. 

 

Nough said, have a good friday eve!

[pdc1981]

I really do feel your pain. Thr story (not the precise details) is a familiar one and sadly I don’t feel your situation is going to improve. Personally I could look beyond the housekeeping issues but the cheating and endless money problems are unreasonable and I would say unlikely to improve. It is very sad and I’m sure it will be a hard but necessary course of action for you. I have recently gone through a hell-ish time with my Khmer (soon to be ex) wife and the separation was a last resort but had to be done in the end. We had 3 children together but they’ve done really well, kids are resilient creatures. Good luck with whatever you decide. 

[arcturaz]

14 hours ago, rumak said:

he's already started calling out people ( me for one   haha)   that question his sanity..

 

i think the majority here have made their feelings known.   but he is different

just go away

[arcturaz]

I will close this post now, I got a lot of excellent feedback. I am looking at my own behavior and starting to realize how I have facilitated and abetted the progression of events. I also understand I need to take full responsibility for my actions. The future will be based on how I manage the present situation. Once again, thank you for your input. It has helped and I appreciate it. 

[rumak]

3 minutes ago, arcturaz said:

just go away

" The Truth ?.........He can't handle the truth ! "

 

watch the video .....over and over till you get it

[rumak]

3 minutes ago, arcturaz said:

I will close this post now, I got a lot of excellent feedback. I am looking at my own behavior and starting to realize how I have facilitated and abetted the progression of events. I also understand I need to take full responsibility for my actions. The future will be based on how I manage the present situation. Once again, thank you for your input. It has helped and I appreciate it. 

another of you gibbly gop posts.   excuses, excuses      faciltated.....abetted......blah blah blah

 

i had sympathy at the beginning......but now i see that you are your own worst enemy

 

[catman20]

17 hours ago, gaff said:

 

And never regretted ?

I am also wondering if I should secure my future ?

 

 

yes u should

[Easy Come Easy Go]

On 8/22/2018 at 2:52 PM, Small Joke said:

Number one, and since you have kids. 

Go have a vasectomy asap! 

Google a doctor, then go get it done!  

The best investment any man over 40 can make period. 

I won't rehash the other sound advice you've gotten here.  

I've never had kids (two abortions,  different women, at 30 her sole choice,  and 41 joint decision) and so I opted for a vasectomy at 45, I've since travelled the world,  and never looked back. 

Most of my mates are screwed, past 50 with young kids to fund and feed until well after most hit retirement.  

Women have their 'baby clock',  but I just don't see why men get sucked into such a life changing financial disaster. They barely think it through in most cases. 

Get the chop,  Chop-chop! 

 

Finally somebody else who understand my point of view.
I'm 30 right now, and recently aborted a potential 'young un' with my GF. I have always stated firmly that I do not want kids under any circumstances. I have spoken about this with friends and other various people online. Often I get labelled 'selfish' haha! Sorry for wanting to lead my life in the way that I want to..

 

It's such a cookie cutter situation; get married, have kids, and then to be stuck in a rut for the rest of your life. No thank you, I enjoy life being free without shackles slapped around my ankles 

[billd766]

3 hours ago, Easy Come Easy Go said:

Finally somebody else who understand my point of view.
I'm 30 right now, and recently aborted a potential 'young un' with my GF. I have always stated firmly that I do not want kids under any circumstances. I have spoken about this with friends and other various people online. Often I get labelled 'selfish' haha! Sorry for wanting to lead my life in the way that I want to..

 

It's such a cookie cutter situation; get married, have kids, and then to be stuck in a rut for the rest of your life. No thank you, I enjoy life being free without shackles slapped around my ankles 

 

Safe sex to prevent children is a 2 way thing.

 

Why didn't YOU wear a condom or even have a vasectomy then there is no chance of making a girl pregnant.

[BritManToo]

19 minutes ago, billd766 said:

Safe sex to prevent children is a 2 way thing.

Why didn't YOU wear a condom or even have a vasectomy then there is no chance of making a girl pregnant.

1

Never seen any point in having sex if it couldn't result in a baby.

If a woman produces a condom, I just say no thanks.

 

As for the previous post, do people in these modern times with strong, intelligent, independent women really think pregnancy means marriage?

Misogyny is alive and well!

[Easy Come Easy Go]

1 hour ago, billd766 said:

 

Safe sex to prevent children is a 2 way thing.

 

Why didn't YOU wear a condom or even have a vasectomy then there is no chance of making a girl pregnant.

She prefers sex without, as it feels better, and I agree. 
Never had an issue prior so this was the first. 
But yes getting the snip is on my list of things to do in the near future 

[gaff]

7 hours ago, Easy Come Easy Go said:

Finally somebody else who understand my point of view.
I'm 30 right now, and recently aborted a potential 'young un' with my GF. I have always stated firmly that I do not want kids under any circumstances. I have spoken about this with friends and other various people online. Often I get labelled 'selfish' haha! Sorry for wanting to lead my life in the way that I want to..

 

It's such a cookie cutter situation; get married, have kids, and then to be stuck in a rut for the rest of your life. No thank you, I enjoy life being free without shackles slapped around my ankles 

 

 

The selfish ones are the one who dare to have kids in a such uncertain world, not people who are smart enough to avoid them these troubles...

Anyway I prefer dogs !

 

 

 

 

 

[ncc1701d]

7 hours ago, gaff said:

 

 

The selfish ones are the one who dare to have kids in a such uncertain world, not people who are smart enough to avoid them these troubles...

Anyway I prefer dogs !

 

 

 

 

 

That means... anyone that has kids is selfish? The world has always been “uncertain”.