1 hour ago, Zyxel said:

Apparently she had two, and them both to produce five children. 

 

 

 

 

"Do you like Tolstoy?", I asked Diane Abbott.
"Of course”, she replied, “Who doesn't?"
"What's your favourite book?", I asked.
"The one where Woody is kidnapped and Buzz tries to save him", she answered.

Does anyone else find a bit of sick pleasure in holding the door for people that are still far away to force them into an awkward run ?

I suspect that the man who invented the sofa never invented anything else.

I'll never forget my first love. She took me outside and showed me the garden.
She then showed me a hole full of water at the bottom of her garden.
"Throw in a coin and make a wish." She said.
So I did.
I remember her well.

My New Year's Resolution is to be more Punctual.

I just emailed my application form for the dominatrix club.
I got an instant reply, thanking me for my submission.

BUILDERS
Convince your customers you are part of the magic circle
by conjuring your prices out of thin air.

Ladies,
Are you worried about embarrassing toilet noises?
Leave an empty trombone stand outside the lavatory door and people will think you are just practising.