12 minutes ago, DezLez said:

I just can't "see" this joke!

????

Are there any far seeing teachers, or better still pupils, who can give some insight to this unsightly problem?

 

 

 

 

 

I have some contacts who could help you.  One's an optometrist.  He thinks the glasses are half full.

2 hours ago, DezLez said:

Not so much sticky as bound up in more than red tape!

 

Could they force me to stay with my end of the bargain?

 

 

Careful, they'll gag and put a restraining order on you, before beating you down and spreading your assets so your end receives more than you bargained for.  

21 minutes ago, DezLez said:

I just can't "see" this joke!

????

Are there any far seeing teachers, or better still pupils, who can give some insight to this unsightly problem?

 

 

 

 

 

You just need to focus a bit more.

13 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Careful, they'll gag and put a restraining order on you, before beating you down and spreading your assets so your end receives more than you bargained for.  

Oh,stop it! Enough of this stupid joke!

I should never have responded,just put a plug in it ok?

26 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Careful, they'll gag and put a restraining order on you, before beating you down and spreading your assets so your end receives more than you bargained for.  

 

You've been to that #$%# Club have you?

19 minutes ago, jvs said:

Oh,stop it! Enough of this stupid joke!

I should never have responded,just put a plug in it ok?

But was that not a butt plug that you ordered Sir?

31 minutes ago, overherebc said:

You just need to focus a bit more.

Eye Eye Sir!

35 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Careful, they'll gag and put a restraining order on you, before beating you down and spreading your assets so your end receives more than you bargained for.  

Where is that heavy breathing emoji when you need it?

42 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I have some contacts who could help you.  One's an optometrist.  He thinks the glasses are half full.

I still don't see the point as I will end up drinking the half empty bit of the glass and probably make a spectacle of myself!

17 minutes ago, DezLez said:

Eye Eye Sir!

Any more of those and you'll get 40 lashes.

All a bit highbrow for me.

Sunak leaves the Palace and heads back to Downing St.

1 hour ago, jvs said:

Oh,stop it! Enough of this stupid joke!

I should never have responded,just put a plug in it ok?

Who asked you to butt in?

2 hours ago, overherebc said:

Any more of those and you'll get 40 lashes.

"Is that a promise or a threat" said the sadist to the masochist, or was it the other way around?

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

Who asked you to butt in?

I am not saying this tongue in cheek but there is always one smart @rse waiting to get "applauded" (read spanked) with a bummer of a comment-cheeky sod!

 

4 hours ago, Zyxel said:

Not so funny when it happens in real life, but then young and stupider.

^ A tweet from the late Ian Paisley????

If your job requires password changes every 30 days…

 

Just set it to the name of the current UK Prime Minister & you should be fine.

5555555555555

 

Three elderly ladies swim in the indoor pool.

After two hours, the first one gets out and the lifeguard praises her: "Great!"

She says: "Yes, I'm 70 years old and I was Irish champion in long-distance swimming".

After three hours the second comes out and proudly says to the lifeguard: "I'm 80 years old and was European champion in long-distance swimming!".
After 4 hours, the third one gets out and says: "I'm 90 years old..." -

"Yes, I know" says the lifeguard "and you were world champion in long-distance swimming!".

She replies: "No, I was a prostitute in Venice and made house calls."