29 minutes ago, Dilligaph98 said:

at least the second time this week, and it wasn't exactly side-splitting last time either

Oh dear.......obviously didn't see the others!! Never mind, life goes on..........

On 10/27/2025 at 9:35 AM, Digitalbanana said:

Wait till I have tonight's curry, and tomorrow I'll post Toilet Bowl In The Style Of Jackson Pollock.

 

 

Man sat on a towel on a beach. He had no arms or legs.

 

3 Women walked past & felt sorry for him.

 

First one said "You ever had a hug?" He said "No" so she hugged him & walked on.

The second woman said "You ever had a kiss?" He said "No" so she kissed him & walked on.

Third said "You ever been fxxxxx?" He said "No" as his eyes lit up...

she said "You will be when the tide comes in."

Diary of a Bosnian, who moved to Canada:

 

August 12th: We just moved in our new home in Canada. I'm so excited! It's so beautiful here! The mountains are stunning! I can't wait to see them covered in snow!

 

October 14th: This is the most beautiful country in the World! The leaves' color changed to wonderful shades of yellow and orange. I drove through the countryside and saw a few deers. They're so elegant! These are the most beautiful animals in the World! This has to be Heaven! I love Canada!

 

November 11th: Remembrance Day (Canadian holiday). Deer hunting season will start soon. I can't understand how could someone kill such a wonderful animal! I hope it will start snowing soon. It's so wonderful here!

 

December 2nd: The first snow fell last night. I woke up in the morning to see everything covered in snow. Everything looks like the most beautiful postcard! We went outside, cleaned the stairway and the driveway and then had a snowball fight (I won!). After the snowplow passed by our house, we had to clean the driveway again. What a wonderful country! I love Canada!

 

December 12th: The snow fell again tonight. The snowplow passed again and covered our driveway again. It's really beautiful here!

 

December 19th: Last night the snow was falling again! I couldn't take the car out of the garage to go to work. It's really beautiful here, but I'm very tired due to the snow cleaning. F***ing snowplow again!

 

December 22nd: This white c**p was falling all night! I got blisters because of all the snow cleaning and my back hurts! It feels like the snowplow jack**s is just waiting behind the corner for me to clean my driveway, so he could pass by my house with the snowplow! A**hole!

 

December 25th: Merry f***ing Christmas! More of the white c**p! If I ever catch that fa**ot driving the snowplow, I'm gonna f***ing kill him! Why the f**k don't they sprinkle more salt on the road so that the snow melts before?!

 

December 27th: More snow fell last night. I haven't gone out for three days, except for cleaning the snow after the snowplow passed by. I can't go anywhere because my car got stuck in the snowpile in front of the house and it's freezing! The weather forecast for tonight is 30 new centimeters of the white c**p.

 

December 28th: The weather forecast was incorrect. 50 new centimeters in the end. If it continues to fall like this, the snow won't melt until the summer! The snowplow got stuck and the a**hole came to my house to ask me for a shovel. I told him that I broke six shovels cleaning the snow that he rammed in front of my house and I barely controlled myself not to break the shovel on his head!

 

January 4th: I finally got out of the house! I went to the store to buy some groceries, and when I was coming back home, I bumped a deer. Three thousand dollars for fixing the damage on the car! Those f***ing beasts should be killed! Why the f**k didn't the f***ing hunters kill them all last autumn?!

 

May 3rd: I took the car to the mechanic. It's unbelievable how much it rusted because of all the f***ing salt that had been sprinkled all f***ing winter long!

 

May 10th: That's it! I've f***ing had enough! I'm moving to Florida! I can't imagine how could anyone normal live in this f***ing country!?

 

 

I had a phone conversation today with a very nice young chap from India This is how it went:

"Hello sir, how are you today?"

"I'm very well, thank you for asking. And how are you? And, more to the point, WHO are you?"

"Sir, my name is Sanjit, and I'm calling you from Microsoft".

"Microsoft, eh? Is that a city in India?How's the weather there today?"

" No, sir - MICROSOFT, the computer company. I'm calling to tell you that we have found a problem with your computer and -"

"REALLY?? Well, that's quite concerning......"

"Yes sir, it can become very serious indeed, but thankfully I will be able to fix it for you. Now, if you -"

"No, I meant it's very concerning because you see I don't HAVE a computer".

"You don't?"

"I don't".

"Ahh, it must be a problem on your laptop sir -"

"Don't have one".

"Ipad?"

"Nope".

"Tablet?"

"Nope, I have none of those things. As a matter of fact, I don't even have a telephone".

After a few seconds of silence he said "Ah, sir, you are lying to me now!"

I said "Well, you started it!!" and put the phone down.https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t52/1/16/1f923.png