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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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2 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

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A pair of scissorss - You can find them at Lotus's's scissorss aisle.

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A man was out on the golf course one sunny day when he suddenly realized he was lost.

 

Spotting a woman ahead of him, he walked over and asked, “Excuse me, could you help me? I’m not sure which hole I’m on.” 

 

She smiled politely and said, “You’re one hole behind me. I’m on the 7th; you’re on the 6th.”  

 

Relieved, he thanked her and went back to his game.  

 

A little while later, he found himself lost again.

 

Embarrassed, he noticed the same woman and approached her once more.

 

“I hate to bother you again, but I’m lost. Can you tell me what hole I’m on?”  

 

She chuckled and replied, “You’re still one hole behind me. I’m on the 14th; you’re on the 13th.”  

 

Grateful for her help, he thanked her again and finished his round.  

 

Later, in the clubhouse, he saw the woman and decided to thank her properly.

 

“Can I buy you a drink to thank you for your help out there?” he asked.  

 

She agreed, and they started chatting over their drinks. As the conversation flowed, he asked, “So, what do you do for a living?”  

 

“I’m in sales,” she said with a shy smile.  

“No way! Me too!” he exclaimed. “What do you sell?”  

 

She hesitated for a moment. “Well… it’s a little embarrassing.”  

 

“Come on,” he said, coaxing her. “I promise I won’t laugh.”  

 

After a moment, she sighed and said, “Alright, but you really can’t laugh. I sell sanitary napkins.”  

 

He managed to hold a straight face—at first. But then, unable to contain himself, he burst into laughter, doubling over and nearly falling out of his chair, tears streaming down his face.  

 

“You promised not to laugh!” she exclaimed, glaring at him.  

 

Through his laughter, he managed to choke out, “I’m sorry! But I can’t help it—I sell toilet paper... and I’m still one hole behind you!” 

A Cab picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: "I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you"

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, "Why are you crying?"

"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess; I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.

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