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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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How can one woman simultaneously satisfy 12 men?

 

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Daddy is mowing the lawn when his young son comes running out of the house calling to him. 
“Daddy, daddy, what’s sex?” asks the boy. 


For a moment dad is dumbstruck but then decides that if his son has asked the question, then he must do his best to answer it. For the next few minutes dad talks about the birds and the bees, then human relationships, love, the sex act, having babies – in fact he does a pretty good job of covering every aspect. Eventually he comes to a stop when he sees how oddly his son is looking at him. 


“Why did you want to know?” he asks. 

 

 


“Well, Mummy said to come out and tell you that dinner would be ready in two secs.” 
 

Johnnie asked the Boss for time off because his wife was going to have a baby.

The Boss said that's great news. take as much time off as you need.

So Johnnie took a week off!

The following week, his boss asked him what it was – a boy or a girl. 

 


“Too early to say,” said Johnny.” “it’ll be another 9 months before we know the answer to that.” 
 

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“Doctor, doctor, I’m so worried,” said the anxious man. 
“Both my wife and I have black hair, but our son’s just been born with red hair. Do you think something funny has been going on?” 
“Not necessarily,” replied the doctor. “How many times do you have sex?” 
“About 5 times a year.” 


“Well, there’s your answer then, you’re just a little rusty.” 
 

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A polar bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey…

… and soda.”

“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender.

The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure. I was born with them.”

What did the bald man say when he received a comb for a Christmas present?

Thanks— I’ll never part with it!

 

I bought my wife a fridge for Christmas.

I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

 

I've spend the last 10 years looking for my mother in law's killer...

But nobody will do it!

 

Two farmers were chatting. One says, "Say, I noticed a lot of cars at your house on Saturday night. Were you having a party or something?"
"No," responds the second farmer. "Tragically last week one of my mules kicked my mother in law in the head, and she died suddenly"
"Oh, No!" says the first farmer. "So were the people there to pay their final respects?"
"No," says the second farmer. "Once news started to spread about the incident, men from all over the county started coming over asking if they could borrow my mule."

 

My mother in law is Spanish, so when we named our son 'Muchos' it really meant a lot to her.

 

I came across 6 men beating up my mother in law.

My wife asked "aren't you going to help?"
I said no, 6 should be enough.

 

What do you do when your mother in law is up to her neck in cement?

Order more cement.

 

I asked my mother in law what she would like for her birthday.

“Something for the bath” she replied.

I bought her a toaster.

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