23 hours ago, sanuk711 said:

If you could choose just one superpower for yourself, what would it be?

 

13 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

what’s his superpower moniker “ spork boy “ ?

I think his moniker is "Fat kid who swallowed a magnet boy"

I'd be more worried about the wolfman on the left.

A 5-year old Scottish girl went to visit her grandmother one day. She played with her dolls as grandma dusted the furniture. At one point, she looked up and asked:
"Granny how come ye dinna hev a boyfriend?"
Grandma replied: "Honey, ma TV is ma boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. "The comedies make me laugh. I'm so happy with my TV as my boyfriend.
" Grandma turned on the TV and the picture was horrible. She started adjusting the knobs trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the back of the TV hoping to fix the problem. The little girl heard the doorbell ring so she hurried to open the front door. When she opened the door, there stood Grandma's minister.
The minister said: "Hello young lady. Is your grandma home?" The little girl replied: "Yeah, she's in 'er bedroom bangin' her boyfriend."

No matter which girls he brought home, the young man found disapproval from his mother.
A friend gave him advice. "Find a girl just like your mother -- then, she's bound to like her."
So the young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl.
He told his friendly adviser:
"Just like you said, I found a girl who looked, talked, dressed, and even cooked like my mother; and just as you said, my mother liked her".
"So," asked the friend, "what happened?"
"Nothing," said the young man. "My father hates her".

My wife and I are watching 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started....

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' she sighed, ' He's my old boyfriend...I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
 

1 hour ago, ravip said:

You don't need a parachute to skydive.

 

You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

 

53 minutes ago, VocalNeal said:

You don't need a parachute to skydive.

 

You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

 

Its not the drop that kills you. Its the sudden stop at the bottom. 

Would you believe I was just cleaning it ?

The siege of Troy.....how it ended

3 hours ago, ravip said:

Santa comes but once a year .

Tonight could be the night !!