I always knew that car I drew , aged 7 & 3/4 , would become a reality one day !!

 

13 minutes ago, roo860 said:

I thought it was Stephen Merchant and Ricky Gervais !!

4 hours ago, sanuk711 said:

Should read: "This guy wants to be identified as a female."

 

Breaking lots or records.

*A young lady was swimming at a pool and was having a great time burning calories and keeping fit.*

 

To her horror, she found that her swimsuit had torn open at the bottom leaving her bit exposed. 

Using her hands to cover up her modesty, she stealthily exited the pool by the side and grabbed a nearby sign to cover up.

This somehow got her more attention, and she looked down at the sign.

“Depth 1.8metres"

Slightly embarrassed, she got rid of that sign and quickly grabbed another.

More stares came her way ...... the sign read:

“Men's entrance"

She could sense her face getting redder by the moment, threw away the sign and grabbed the last one she could grab.

Practically everyone was looking at her now, if not for the spectacle she was causing, but also for what was now on that sign.

“Repairs ongoing, please enter from the rear”

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Ed and his wife Norma go to the state fair every year, And every year Ed would say, " Norma, I'd like to ride in that helicopter "

Norma always replied, " I know Ed , but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, And fifty bucks is fifty bucks! "

One year Ed and Norma went to the fair, and Ed said, " Norma, I'm 75 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance "

To this, Norma replied, " Ed, that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks "

The pilot overheard the couple and said, " Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If You can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge You a penny!
But if you say one word it's fifty dollars. "

Ed and Norma agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvers, but not a word was heard.

He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, But still not a word...

When they landed, the pilot turned to Ed and said, " By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed! "

Ed replied, " Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Norma fell out,
But you know...

fifty bucks is fifty bucks! "

Here it is.  The best advice you'll see all day:  

 

 

Anyone who wouldn't refuse, form a line beside those bin liners.

I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.

It’s all about raisin awareness.

2 hours ago, sanuk711 said:

I had one of those but i can not remember what the headlights looked like,oh well i can always imagine.

6 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.

It’s all about raisin awareness.

 

What are the currant benefits?

38 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

 

Hand-written note added below it:

> Do provide your black plastic sacks to DEXTER who has alternative disposal methods...