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1 hour ago, tomazbodner said:

 

B!oody scoucers been 'round again.

 

I watched a documentary about hydroelectricity last night.

Best dam movie I’ve seen in a while.

If anybody wants a copy of Osteopath Weekly, I have back issues.

Worst joke ever?

 

The Government here.

 

Everyday.

 

That's it, that's the joke.

I had to interrogate a duck once.

Eventually he quacked under the pressure...

.

????????????????????????????????

 

 

2 hours ago, roo860 said:

Should that be Britain's tallest Geordie Muslim? 

What's the difference between a Kangaroo & a Kanagaroot? One's a Marsupial, the other is a Geordie stuck in a lift....

 

A Geordie bloke told me he was really good at flirting!
I threw him in a swimming pool.
He sank.

 

Police in Northumberland are reporting an accident on the A1. A lorry full of terrapins collided with a lorry full of tortoises. It was a turtle disaster.

 

I went to a hairdressers in Ashington and asked for a perm.......she said "rerses are red, violets are blue" (sorry, very specific to Ashington).

 

I rang a local Geordie takeaway. I said, “Do you deliver?”
“Naa,” he said, “we only dee beef and chicken.”

 

 

22 hours ago, sanuk711 said:

One for Fangless...................................

Thanks!  Glad to see you are breathing fresh life into stale old jokes with your super halitosis joke

r/[object Object] icon
r/Jokes
u/afk_runner avatarafk_runner
7h
One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues,

when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver's side door with him standing right there.

 

"NOOO!" he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same. 

 

Finally, a cop came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling, "MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!!!" he exclaimed.

 

"You're a lawyer aren't you?" asked the policeman. "Yes, I am, but what does this have to do with my car?!?!" the lawyer asked.

 

"HA! You lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your possessions. I bet you didn't even notice that your left arm is missing did you?" the cop said. 

 

The lawyer looked down at his side and cried, "WHERE IS MY ROLEX!"

Genie: I shall grant you three wishes.

Me: First I wish for a world without lawyers.

Genie: Done, you now have no more wishes.

Me: But you said three.

Genie: Sue me.