Or one that sounds like a dog trying to squeeze out a 3 pounder on the new bedroom rug that was a present from a dear friend !!


Too specific ?

   Khun Prayuth has an IQ of over 220. ????

3 minutes ago, WorriedNoodle said:

Have you got her email address, or phone number? She's so sexy..

Now a serious moment !!

It was 50 years ago this week that one of the most important achievements made by man happened.

Let us not forget those brave men and women who toiled for many years to realise the dream.

The dream that man was able to walk on the surface of the moon was finally achieved and let’s celebrate this historic event with one of the first photos ever taken 238,900 miles from planet earth.

I've been having trouble with my internet router running slowly.

Following some basic information, I realised the problem lies in the bathroom.

The program I was using said it had traced my I Pee address to the urinal.

An executive is in his office.  His secretary walks in, tells him he has a visitor.

"Who is it?"  he asks.

"The Invisible Man."

"Well, tell him I can't see him."

 

 

A woman turns to her husband in bed and asks, "Do you love me only because my father died and left me a fortune?"
"That's crazy. Of course not," he says. "I'd love you no matter who left you the money."

Guy calls a law office.  A man answers and says "Levine, Levine, Schwartz and Levine."

"Let me talk to Mr Levine" says the caller.

"Mr Levine passed away several years ago, we keep his name out of respect."

"Oh, then let me talk to Mr Levine."

"Mr Levine is out of town for a few days, will be back on Monday."

"OK then, let me talk to Mr Schwartz."

"Mr Schwartz is in court today."

"Well then, let me talk to Mr Levine."

"This is he."

 

(courtesy of Henny Youngman)

 

 

15 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

one of the first photos ever taken 238,900 miles from planet earth.

I am not being 'Catty' but I have a feline the photo may be a fake!

54 minutes ago, scottiejohn said:

I am not being 'Catty' but I have a feline the photo may be a fake!

The photo is genuine. The feline got taken out. What a cat-astrophy. 

A man goes to his doctor for a physical after noticing how fatigued he becomes during sex with his wife. The doctor comes back after reviewing a battery of tests and exlpains to the man that he was lucky he came in when he did. He tells him that one more time and he would not have survived. The doctor released the patient  and explained to the wife who was waiting outside that sex would no longer be a part of their relationship and that they should make the appropriate adjustments .  After about a year the wife who had remained faithful and had decided to sleep on the couch downstairs decided she just could not take it anymore and decided things had to change so she headed upstairs  . Coincidentally he was coming down the stairs so she asked "where are you going? " He said " I was just coming downstairs to die".  She said  "really?, I was just coming upstairs to kill you........  " 

1 hour ago, owl sees all said:

The photo is genuine. The feline got taken out. What a cat-astrophy. 

These fake cat photos are obviously being littered not just all over the world, but also on the moon.  I think there may be some tom-foolery going on.

2 minutes ago, WorriedNoodle said:

I know this is a joke forum but I am going to be serious for once.

Is it not sad when you consider which one made the most money?

1 hour ago, scottiejohn said:

I know this is a joke forum but I am going to be serious for once.

Is it not sad when you consider which one made the most money?

OTOH making the most money doesn't compare with job satisfaction or the sheer excitement of giving pleasure and enjoyment to millions of people world wide even after your death.

19 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Now a serious moment !!

It was 50 years ago this week that one of the most important achievements made by man happened.

Let us not forget those brave men and women who toiled for many years to realise the dream.

The dream that man was able to walk on the surface of the moon was finally achieved and let’s celebrate this historic event with one of the first photos ever taken 238,900 miles from planet earth.

Major Tom finally makes it to the moon.

9 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

I am not being 'Catty' but I have a feline the photo may be a fake!

 

8 hours ago, owl sees all said:

The photo is genuine. The feline got taken out. What a cat-astrophy. 

 

7 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

These fake cat photos are obviously being littered not just all over the world, but also on the moon.  I think there may be some tom-foolery going on.

 

5 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Major Tom finally makes it to the moon.

 

Quite a-mew-sing. guys ...

 
Quite a-mew-sing. guys ...

Poor old Jezza !!