Have you had a good life?

[ivor bigun]

if you are in Thailand, you probably didn't have a good life.  the stigma of being a sex tourist, drunk, no money......it probably wears on a lot of people.  nobody back home will respect you, unless you give them money to be quiet.  you don't speak Thai, so good friends are limited.  i would never retire here, but i like to visit, have fun, go home.  but when everyone asks, 'oh, are you a sex tourist?'  it's funny.   and the air pollution will kill you, and the roads will kill you....so if you had a good life, why not be in a better place?  couldn't have been that good, you just lowered your life standards.   i'm not old enough to be bitter...it's funny to me.  but i feel bad for the delusional jokers.  

I love those who generalise about stuff ,or is it that you are describing yourself and think we are all like you?

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[Skeptic7]

GREAT! So far anyway. Not always perfect, with some hard lessons learned and major losses (deaths) along the way...but overall FANTABULOUS. Had a job that paid well and afforded lots of time off. It sure beat working for a living! Led me to Thailand back in the early 90's and the rest is history. 

[NoshowJones]

21 hours ago, possum1931 said:

He keeps on giving me confused emoticos so I thought I would get my own back.????

See what I mean?????

[NoshowJones]

7 hours ago, wgdanson said:

Hi Possum. Will you not come and play bass with me & Trans then. The Three Visateers! 

Great. as long as we don't do Peltin Elton or Sinatra songs.????

[Pharoticus]

8 hours ago, puukao said:

if you are in Thailand, you probably didn't have a good life.  the stigma of being a sex tourist, drunk, no money......it probably wears on a lot of people.  nobody back home will respect you, unless you give them money to be quiet.  you don't speak Thai, so good friends are limited.  i would never retire here, but i like to visit, have fun, go home.  but when everyone asks, 'oh, are you a sex tourist?'  it's funny.   and the air pollution will kill you, and the roads will kill you....so if you had a good life, why not be in a better place?  couldn't have been that good, you just lowered your life standards.   i'm not old enough to be bitter...it's funny to me.  but i feel bad for the delusional jokers.  

Very good post.

 

You ask: "why not be in a better place"

 

The answer is really quite simple: GIRLS.

 

If there were no available women here in Thailand, or if the country were predominantly Muslim [like Malaysia or Indonesia], this forum wouldn't exist. And the country's so-called ex-pat community would dwindle to the size of a pin head.

 

It takes a while to wake up to the truth. 

 

You add "you just lowered your standards".

 

Yes, I did. And so did all other westerners living here. I'm now thinking Penang, Portugal or Greece. It's time to accept that Thailand is, well, what it is. It's not for nothing that expats in Thailand are mocked by one and all.

 

[ivor bigun]

Very good post.
 
You ask: "why not be in a better place"
 
The answer is really quite simple: GIRLS.
 
If there were no available women here in Thailand, or if the country were predominantly Muslim [like Malaysia or Indonesia], this forum wouldn't exist. And the country's so-called ex-pat community would dwindle to the size of a pin head.
 
It takes a while to wake up to the truth. 
 
You add "you just lowered your standards".
 
Yes, I did. And so did all other westerners living here. I'm now thinking Penang, Portugal or Greece. It's time to accept that Thailand is, well, what it is. It's not for nothing that expats in Thailand are mocked by one and all.
 

Gosh and there was me thinking it was the buisness my partner and i had in BKK and it was only girls,well i never.

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[grollies]

34 minutes ago, Pharoticus said:

You add "you just lowered your standards".

 

Yes, I did. And so did all other westerners living here

Speak for yourself. I awake every morning, don my paisley dressing gown and take a pot of tea on the verandah overlooking the pond and smoke a pipe.

 

Breakfast at 0900 is usually a Thai affair of rice and curry/krapow/kana moo grop/other.

 

I'll wander over to the wife's chicken farm for a couple of hours before morning coffee and home made crumpets on the other verandah overlooking the pool.

 

Lunch is usually noodles, meeleung moo followed by another coffee.

 

Back out to check on repairs/maintenance before tea at 4pm. I skip the sandwiches.

 

After a swim and shower it's time for a 6pm G&T or two before dinner.

 

We then relax with a couple of hands of rummy before watching a movie.

 

Sorry old chap, some of us still maintain standards.

 

 

[BritManToo]

58 minutes ago, Pharoticus said:

The answer is really quite simple: GIRLS.

 

If there were no available women here in Thailand, or if the country were predominantly Muslim [like Malaysia or Indonesia], this forum wouldn't exist. And the country's so-called ex-pat community would dwindle to the size of a pin head.

Plenty of girls in the Philippines, and much cheaper than Thai girls.

Also hordes of available women in Vietnam and Cambodia.

 

Just as easy to marry and have babies with.

Can't see the desperate attraction of Thailand, if I were starting again, it wouldn't be here, probably Vietnam.

 

Asia is full of available women.

[BritManToo]

9 hours ago, puukao said:

you don't speak Thai, so good friends are limited.

but when everyone asks, 'oh, are you a sex tourist?'  it's funny. 

Funny that, because I do speak reasonable Thai, but never found a Thai male I wanted to talk with.

(apart from my son, but he's only 7 so subject matter is a bit limited)

 

When I went back to the UK, I didn't talk about where I had been or what I had been doing.

Most people just want to talk about themselves, so keep your mouth shut and avoid problems.

Edited January 30, 2019 by BritManToo

[richard_smith237]

6 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Funny that, because I do speak reasonable Thai, but never found a Thai male I wanted to talk with.

(apart from my son, but he's only 7 so subject matter is a bit limited)

 

When I went back to the UK, I didn't talk about where I had been or what I had been doing.

Most people just want to talk about themselves.

 

Some interesting posts... especially the part about "lowering your standards"... which made me thing... 

 

I think Thailand has helped me to tolerate lower standards because of the significantly lower costs vs equivalent quality of life back home.

 

There are other countries and Portugal and Greece are good options for the Europeans, but that would mean starting over again...  I came to Thailand because of work, Thailand is now my regional base for work (but I could still live anywhere)... however, I have a great Wife, a son, a great set of friends a number of whom are Thai males (my closest most trusted friend of 20 years is a Thai male).

 

[grollies]

3 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Some interesting posts... especially the part about "lowering your standards"... which made me thing... 

 

I think Thailand has helped me to tolerate lower standards because of the significantly lower costs vs equivalent quality of life back home.

 

There are other countries and Portugal and Greece are good options for the Europeans, but that would mean starting over again...  I came to Thailand because of work, Thailand is now my regional base for work (but I could still live anywhere)... however, I have a great Wife, a son, a great set of friends a number of whom are Thai males (my closest most trusted friend of 20 years is a Thai male).

 

I disagree. Just because standards of living are lower here (rural anyway) doesn't mean you should lower your standards to reflect the local situation.

 

I'm the best-dressed man at Monk do's, weddings, funerals, even at Immigration for reports/renewals. I see Thais wearing what back in the UK would be considered the most inappropriate attire but, apart from the late King's funeral, where all wore black & white best clothes, usually Thai wear everyday clothes to these occasions.

 

You and others may scoff but it counts an awful lot. IMHO.

[xylophone]

On 1/29/2019 at 8:22 AM, Denim said:

Never been shot at.

Never been conscripted.

Never been hungry

Always been free

Loved lots of women

Traveled a lot

Had my fill of dissipation

 

So far so good. Just hope things continue the same way.

Liked this cos some mirror my experiences............

Never been shot at..........Yes I have, and had a loaded pistol put to my head by an irate Libyan soldier!!

Never been conscripted.......... No and feel lucky for that.

Never been hungry.......... Have been esp when the food ran out on an oil rig offshore Nigeria at the end of the Biafran war.

Always been free..........Apart from a short (3 yr) disastrous marriage

Loved lots of women...........Yes, and some, most before coming to Thailand.

Travelled a lot........Yes, many countries and islands

Had my fill of dissipation.......Yes and probably far to much for the good of my liver!

 

And lucky enough to have pulled through a poor childhood, to make something of myself; played a reasonably good standard of football and getting paid a little for doing so was a bonus; was a tearaway and enjoyed it; had dangerous adventures in West Africa, the Sahara and the North Sea; earned a lot and spent it, or to quote George Best, "I spent my money on women, fast cars, booze and parties and the rest I just squandered".

 

Worked hard to climb the corporate ladder and was successful, but it nearly killed me, so gave it all away and came here, and despite much lunacy surrounding me here, I am happy with my life before and happy with it now!

 

[marcusarelus]

10 hours ago, Pharoticus said:

Yes, social media can be a great outlet for lonely, socially disenfranchised people. Examples:

 

1. Here's what I had for breakfast

2. Here's the latest photo of my cat

3. See how I've just re-decorated my wall!!

 

Loneliness. There are lots of very lonely westerners in Thailand. And very many of them exist in states of denial.

 

So do you really miss Thailand that much.  Seems odd after so short a visit. 

[AlexRich]

1 hour ago, Pharoticus said:

Very good post.

 

You ask: "why not be in a better place"

 

The answer is really quite simple: GIRLS.

 

If there were no available women here in Thailand, or if the country were predominantly Muslim [like Malaysia or Indonesia], this forum wouldn't exist. And the country's so-called ex-pat community would dwindle to the size of a pin head.

 

It takes a while to wake up to the truth. 

 

You add "you just lowered your standards".

 

Yes, I did. And so did all other westerners living here. I'm now thinking Penang, Portugal or Greece. It's time to accept that Thailand is, well, what it is. It's not for nothing that expats in Thailand are mocked by one and all.

 

The problem that I have with your post is the emphasis that you put on the opinions of others. I’ve spent quite a bit of time in Pattaya, the worst of Thailand reputation wise, but liked the place ... not polluted like the north (and I love Chiang Rai and Chiang Mai), easy transport, good selection of shops and restaurants, lively nightlife if you want that, but plenty of other options if you don’t care about it. I went to Thailand to be out of the UK, principally for a tax advantage. I never went there for the sex trade, something you can find in every country in the world. I move around and am now on an island in the eastern Mediterranean. I’m pretty sure I’ll return to Thailand and SE Asia again, as it’s an easy place to live.

 

To my point. I don’t think any of us should care what other people think? We are not here forever, it makes no sense living life for people who think the worst of you. I’m not an old man, but the ones that I have spoken to in Thailand are living a fuller, more active and more enjoyable life than their equivalents at home ... people speak to them in the street, they get out and about, have a bit of fun, they are not just waiting for the grim reaper to tap them on the shoulder. More power to them. Live life to the full.

 

 

[Concrete]

"We are not here forever, it makes no sense living life for people who think the worst of you. "

Wise words. Far too many people live according to expectations of other people. True friends stick, others drop off. Some people are best let go.

[MyFriend You]

On 1/28/2019 at 6:59 PM, Bluespunk said:

Have had, am having, will have.

In a word:  

 

[GinBoy2]

Maybe I'm just being a little idealistic, but I've been surprised how few of you have thought that your kids made for a good life.

Money, screwing hookers in Pattaya, etc etc.

 

I could have lost every cent I had, but as long as I knew I'd done the best for my kids had made their lives happy, it would all be worth it

[ivor bigun]

Maybe I'm just being a little idealistic, but I've been surprised how few of you have thought that your kids made for a good life.
Money, screwing hookers in Pattaya, etc etc.
 
I could have lost every cent I had, but as long as I knew I'd done the best for my kids had made their lives happy, it would all be worth it

Well i have 2 kids,one lives in the UK has her own family and a lovely home and business,they visit here regularaly,one now lives here in Thailand ,had a good educationfirst in the UK and then here,has a very good job,is buying his first house with his girlfriend and lives a normal happy life as do we ,just because we live in Pattaya does not mean we frequent bars all the time. More likely to frequent Tesco.

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[GinBoy2]

5 minutes ago, ivor bigun said:

Well i have 2 kids,one lives in the UK has her own family and a lovely home and business,they visit here regularaly,one now lives here in Thailand ,had a good educationfirst in the UK and then here,has a very good job,is buying his first house with his girlfriend and lives a normal happy life as do we ,just because we live in Pattaya does not mean we frequent bars all the time. More likely to frequent Tesco.

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Didn't mean to infer all Pattaya residents were sexpats

[ivor bigun]

Didn't mean to infer all Pattaya residents were sexpats

To be honest,i dont know one who is,everyone i know is either married with a home ,some with kids, of course ime not stupid i see the sexpats all the time ,its usually the ones in shorts and vest holding tightly to a girl young enough to be their grandaughter,most of those though i bet are tourists ,the guys with older wives ( not to old lol) are in the majority just expats who live here for a better life on their pensiones i bet.

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[GinBoy2]

10 minutes ago, ivor bigun said:

To be honest,i dont know one who is,everyone i know is either married with a home ,some with kids, of course ime not stupid i see the sexpats all the time ,its usually the ones in shorts and vest holding tightly to a girl young enough to be their grandaughter,most of those though i bet are tourists ,the guys with older wives ( not to old lol) are in the majority just expats who live here for a better life on their pensiones i bet.

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I was just trying to make more a general observation.

 

I'm Hispanic and family always means a lot, and as I've got older more and more.

 

I tend to see white Anglos don't have quite the same family values when looking at their life

[RocketDog]

On 1/28/2019 at 7:16 PM, AlexRich said:

A life can never be always upside, there are built in downsides, like people (and pets) who pass away, for me that’s the main downside. I do think it’s important to do things that you enjoy, and do everything you can to be fit and healthy, as that adds to the enjoyment, and can make a huge difference to your quality of life. Placing yourself in a stress free environment is important also, life is too short to spend it with toxic people. The one certainty is death, so best not complain, see the silver linings in every cloud, and enjoy every day.

 

Alex, most succinct answer I've read here yet that mirrors my own. 

Do the best you can with what you've got but above all, keep doing. 

 

Somebody once said that we are all either busy dying or busy living. 

[RocketDog]

4 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

I was just trying to make more a general observation.

 

I'm Hispanic and family always means a lot, and as I've got older more and more.

 

I tend to see white Anglos don't have quite the same family values when looking at their life

Not replying to you directly, just observing that generalizations are dangerous and seldom useful, in general ????

[Old Croc]

6 minutes ago, RocketDog said:

Alex, most succinct answer I've read here yet that mirrors my own. 

Do the best you can with what you've got but above all, keep doing. 

 

Somebody once said that we are all either busy dying or busy living. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6v_eSNVxec

[RocketDog]

15 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Plenty of girls in the Philippines, and much cheaper than Thai girls.

Also hordes of available women in Vietnam and Cambodia.

 

Just as easy to marry and have babies with.

Can't see the desperate attraction of Thailand, if I were starting again, it wouldn't be here, probably Vietnam.

 

Asia is full of available women.

Interesting. I was planning to retire in Vietnam after staying in Dalat with my VN friend and family for three weeks. 

Three years latter I quit my job, got a one year visa to VN, and a plane ticket thru BKK  to HCMC. My VN friend told me I should stop for a week in Thailand since I'd never been there. So I did. 

 

Never made it to VN and am now settled here with a fine local lady in her 40's, (uncharacteristic wisdom on my part), but plan a short trip with her to VN sometime. 

 

As soon as I got here I noticed immediately that the Thai people seemed happier and friendlier than those in VN, and not nearly so stiff,and society less rigid. To be fair, the widespread presence of the catholic church in VN probably has something to do with that. And I loathe religion. 

 

As to women, I find them considerably more open and attractive here than in VN, and undeniably more available, in my personal opinion. 

 

Now my VN friend is nearing retirement and........ wait for it:

 

Is planning to retire in Thailand. ????

 

To each his own I guess. 

[colinneil]

On 1/30/2019 at 9:16 AM, wgdanson said:

Hi Possum. Will you not come and play bass with me & Trans then. The Three Visateers! 

Great idea for a name for your group........ The 3 geriatrics.