Thai lady / girlfriend, is she? maybe?

[thaiguzzi]

23 hours ago, Spidey said:

Yep. You'd probably get on with him though! Lives for bikes, currently has a Hayabusa, Triumph Speed Twin and a 72 Bonneville that he's restoring. They all have girls names and he loves them more than any woman that he's ever met. They're the real loves in his life. Women, he just uses and abuses them. Up to him.

Just 'cos we both like motorcycles, does'nt mean i'll like him.

If you stick to the old proverb - "everybody's an <deleted> until they prove otherwise", you generally don't get too disappointed with your fellow man.

Men i actually like?

10 fingers and 10 toes is counting too many...

[Olmate]

2 minutes ago, strabel23 said:

Ask her why she can't accept your support and go home to her mum and spend time getting to know you to see if you have a good heart? Then ask her what she is going to do during your getting to know each other via FaceTime and chat? If she is not willing to accept your money and leave the bar scene then she is probably not worth it. Tell her if she is still going to work the bar scene you don't feel good about that. If she really is sincere and wants a relationship with you then she will do as you ask. If she still declines then she is more interested in finding a bigger fish while you are still on the hook.

Why would she accept his offer , he gave her nought when he was here, fat chance of it when she,s lost face and back home. She,s obviously onto that and good luck to them both.

[bwpage3]

On 3/1/2019 at 4:24 PM, Jack19290 said:

A few answer here, thanks everyone. I'll answer as best as I can.

 

I told her I will return in 2 years time. The apporch thing, how to explain, I'm a good dancer, I danced my way over to her and she is also a good dancer so we bounced off each other. 

 

She didn't ask me any of those questions and still hasn't to be honest. Actually she did ask how long I was on holiday for which was 6 days remaining.

 

At 63 if you can hang from a fire escape you are welcome to the girl lol 

 

She is not sexy, she is average and cute I suppose, there are a whole lot more sexy girls than her.

 

I don't care what people think, I just wanted to make sure I'm not being played. Which I think nobody is to sure yet as this is a weird situation. I do make good money but don't want to send it over there because then it will be like I'm paying for someone's company and I do not do that, don't need to lol

 

Everyone is human, prostitute or not, everyone deserves a good life and yes I would introduce a prostitute to my family as long as she no longer is, everyone's life is hard so reason to belittle anyone.

What is she suppose to do for 2 years when you are not sending her any money and she has family in Isaan to take care of?

Take one guess?

Edited March 3, 2019 by bwpage3

[Elkski]

The op is wise for his years we all must admit.  He has obviously read about the dangers that lurk under that pretty smile and skin in Thailand.   

Do I have any good advice?  

To bad you didn't meet her 28 days before you did although her thoughts of moving to phucket didn't arise suddenly.   They all know of stories of cousins, friends or whoever who won the farang lottery.  Selling a body for sex here seems quite common but there are some who claim they would never do.   But then they ask for 1000 baht for taxi or gas. Or new face products.   Is it different anywhere really?  

Just think what you offered this girl. A room with aircon, probably bigger and better than she ever lived in. She didn't have to work but probably gets a bonus for each day barfined so she made money.  You should have offered barfine plus her daily wages.   She has chosen this oath in life.   You are so young. You are probably going to continue to be sent to SEAsia for work.   Just enjoy for now.    

[Hanuman2547]

You crazy if you believe even half of her story.  Like others have said, forget about her and find someone else that doesn't go with guys for money.  There are a zillion stories about this.  Almost all end up bad.  Go read Stickman for stories similar to yours.  There are plenty of very nice Thai women that don't work in bars/restaurants/go-go's etc.  They have real jobs and have graduated from university.  The thing is if you aren't living in Thailand then it makes it a lot harder to develop a relationship.

 

Good Luck with what you decide to do.

[Kerryd]

6 hours ago, NanLaew said:

That's still somewhat imprecise IMHO. It needs the full job description of "Only cashier - no go with customer. Ching-ching."

Many years ago my buddy was the manager of a go-go bar in Pattaya. Had one older woman dancer that looked pretty good for her age. Found out the cashier was her daughter and, despite the fact the daughter was married (to a Thai guy), the mother let me know that she (the daughter) was available if I wanted. Wasn't a situation I wanted to get involved in. (She was cute, but not that cute.) (Yes - I'm sure more than a couple people probably tried to bar fine both of them at the same time - never asked as I was sure they wouldn't admit it anyways.)

I also learned that "I am cashier" is basically code for "bigger bar fine". Some women will claim they are the cashier (and can't be bar fined) as a way to discourage advances from customers they don't like, but if they get a good offer (or it's someone they like), they just get someone to cover for them and they are gone just like anyone else.

As for the topic though, two things.

 

One - "good heart" (jai dee) literally means "generous", as in "generous with your money. (It also means "kind", like the person who gives their leftovers to the soi dogs or the guy who holds the umbrella over his girlfriend while letting himself get soaked.)

Give a big tip when paying your bill ? You are "jai dee" (have a good heart). Buy the girl you've known for 2 days a new cellphone ? You are "jai dee". Ring the bell at your favourite beer bar ? You are "jai dee".

Two - the abbreviation "MGID" was coined years ago, probably as a result of all the stories from all the guys who'd met girls in beer bars (or go-go bars) and decided that "My Girl Is Different". 

It's hilarious how many guys who couldn't get laid in a brothel back home, come to Thailand, meet a girl in the first bar they go to, take her back to the hotel, sleep with her within hours of meeting her, and then decides that she is "different" from all the other girls in all the other bars, in all the other cities.

BTW - it's a bit of a running joke on ThaiVisa that no ThaiVisa member ever met their wife in a bar. At least it's been like that for the last 14(ish) years or so it seems.

 

I know a bunch of people that are happily married to Thai women and have children with them. Some are living overseas, some are living in Thailand. Some have been married for 20+ years.

 

I also know a bunch of people who were dumped by their spouses the moment the money "ran out". (None of the ones I know/knew did the hi-rise balcony jump though.)

Won't even bother getting into the whole "he's just my brother/uncle" business. 

(And yes, when I was working overseas and coming to Thailand 3-4 times a year for a month at a time - I did make "good use" of my time. Instead of getting slobbering drunk in the same beer bar every night, I'd make friends and go to all sorts of different places. Makes a big difference when most of your "local" friends are Thais instead of fat old white guys from the same country as you that just sit around bitching about football all day.)

I spent a lot of time talking to bar girls, go-go dancers, service staff, mommasans, managers and owners in different establishments.

It's an eye-opener when people talk to you as a friend instead as a potential customer.

I used to love just sitting quietly in a place and watching what was going on around me. It was much more entertaining than anything they put on those lame "reality" TV shows. 
But hey, what do I know ? I didn't make my first trip here until 1993 ! Didn't start "living here" until 2004 ! 

It's also hilarious when someone goes on the internet and asks complete strangers for love advice. And then ignores everything that doesn't back up what they've already decided.
The OP has already decided "His Girl Is Different" and nothing is going to change that.

End of conversation.

 

 

Edited March 3, 2019 by Kerryd

[473geo]

39 minutes ago, Kerryd said:

It's also hilarious when someone goes on the internet and asks complete strangers for love advice. And then ignores everything that doesn't back up what they've already decided.
The OP has already decided "His Girl Is Different" and nothing is going to change that.

Yeah but losing your head over a girl can be fun too, if you have the nerve and confidence, to know, whatever the outcome you will not look back in anger, but rather bask in enjoyable memories, that serve to encourage you to go out and create more ????

[Kadilo]

49 minutes ago, Kerryd said:

(And yes, when I was working overseas and coming to Thailand 3-4 times a year for a month at a time - I did make "good use" of my time. Instead of getting slobbering drunk in the same beer bar every night, I'd make friends and go to all sorts of different places. Makes a big difference when most of your "local" friends are Thais instead of fat old white guys from the same country as you that just sit around bitching about football all day.)

I spent a lot of time talking to bar girls, go-go dancers, service staff, mommasans, managers and owners in different establishments.

It's an eye-opener when people talk to you as a friend instead as a potential customer.

 

 

 

Those two paragraphs seem somewhat of a contradiction. 

You made “good use” of your time and “spent a lot of time talking to bar girls etc” 

 

You think they see you as a friend because you sit in there chatting and not drinking excessively as if you’re so kind of hero looking down your nose at the “fat old white guys” as you describe them. 

 

Im sure it would be an eye opener if you heard what your  “friends” had to say about you too once you left. 

 

Edited March 3, 2019 by Kadilo

[Jack19290]

Guys I did spend some money out there. Her friend broke up with her boyfriend and she was crying in the club and ruining the mood. I got her a birthday cake and made the staff sing to her, I also got her flowers and made her stop crying. Put some cake on her face and my girls i was with and it turned out all fun.

 

The night got 10x better, also yes we did have sex, not many times I think 4 times but all was great ???? no not just for me, a man can tell if a girl had a good time or orgasmed or not, you know she had a great time if you know what you are doing, 100+ guys or not doesn't matter.

 

Anyway like I said we are on day 7 and she FaceTime me during the day and night even while clubbing with her friends and when she gets home. She still hasn't asked for money and even when I ask if she needs it she says no.

 

I will carry on with her, wait and see what happens, either she slips up or i just hope for the best.

Edited March 3, 2019 by Jack19290

[Hummin]

We all have our soft spot, go ahead, do what you feel for, 

[rickb]

My only advice is to forget about all of the negative things others have written in response to your OP.  You sound like you already know about how some, maybe it's even correct to say most, Thai girls act to try to catch a farang and drain him of his money.  So, with that said, listen to your heart, but keep your brain working at all times.  I know several farangs who have met Thai girls who are working in bars, against their own desires, simply to earn money to support their families back home.  They are not all necessarily bad girls.  A few have just been forced into the business only because they have no other way to earn money to support their family.  If you enjoy this girls company, then I say continue to enjoy it.  Sooner or later, she will either prove to be a girl like the many negative posts herein describe.  Or, she will prove to be a girl simply forced into the business by necessity.  If she is the latter, you can have an enjoyable and successful relationship with her.  Just don't rush into anything and keep your eyes open.  Sounds to me you know what to look for.

 

[NCC1701A]

is she pregnant yet? just wondering. 

[Skallywag]

10 hours ago, bkk6060 said:

  21 hours ago, sanemax said:

Prostitute? Its a statement of fact , rather than a term of abuse

All the girls I've loved before were just professional physical therapists charging by the hour. 

 

Who in this world has not prostituted themselves in order to get paid? 

 

We are all part of this world and need to respect those young or old who are striving to get by with what they can offer   

 

Edited March 3, 2019 by Skallywag

[Jack19290]

19 minutes ago, NCC1701A said:

is she pregnant yet? just wondering. 

I'll find out by the 26th if she doesn't come on her period lol 

[Skallywag]

14 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

I'll find out by the 26th if she doesn't come on her period lol 

Wow - bare back with a girl you have known for 6 days is just too cool  lol

[Jack19290]

3 minutes ago, Skallywag said:

Wow - bare back with a girl you have known for 6 days is just too cool  lol

I never do bareback and i have been with loads of girls, uk, thailand and rest of world lol but it just felt right ????

[Seth1a2a]

It's not the first time she's gone bareback, so there are more results than just her period to consider waiting for......

 

 

I believe  the OP is in a slightly different category than that of an average pay for play participant. Based on a few experiences I had in the 1990s, when I looked a lot younger there is one thing I found out.

There are 2 types of currency in Thailand "Cash" and "Face" and what you don't give her in cash she extracts in the form of "face".  Maybe in her view and those around her, she pursues a noble cause by having a normal acceptable relationship with someone in her own age group who she relates to and cares about while she suffers the penance of laying beneath drunken overweight over-aged slobs to earn money towards supporting herself and her family.

Young Bar girls tend to  look for young  Thais to commit to (that guy you always see sitting on the moto when you come to barfine her ?) or younger  Foreigners (she shows you where all the parties and clubs are, you don't pay her a dime and even sometimes she asks you to stay at her place so you don't have to "pay hotel" ) See , I'm not really a prostitute I just play one on TV.

Just as the old guys look for the pretty young girl to display as eye candy at a casino or expensive restaurant,  you are each others social trophy.  A) I scored a Thai girlfriend for free while other guys are paying through the nose.

B) She scored a young handsome foreigner who could easily find a chick his own age in his own country.

Aren't we special and proud?     The problem ?  The ugly "Face" of another head ....the actual family . In a lot of cases a child is being taken care of by the parents while she works , aged family members are unable to work (no social security), a gambling or drug addicted relative has debts that need to be addressed,  and more pressure " we took care of you now you must take care of us "(more famous in Vietnamese prostitution) "you can't just sit around the house all day"..." your brother needs money for cigarettes" , "your father needs a new pickup truck......" how could we have raised such an ungrateful child"

"Appun next door went to Phuket and met a good man who supports her whole family why can't you?"

I remember reading some rule about daughters having more responsibility for the family than the Sons.

 

You need to address the fact that there are way too many  options for employment in Thailand than for her to just plop down in that environment and say this will be my vocation.

 

My view on deep relationships with Thai women who are not self sufficient, is to be prepared to become a victim of financial incest. You might not have any intentions to < F #$  censored> them but they sure as heck are planning to < F #$ censored>  you.  It starts with the "sin sod" and it ends with the divorce after everything finally gets registered in her name.  Sorry for the cynicism  ................. I've heard it better said that in Asia you don't just marry the girl you marry the family so if you choose to continue make sure you thoroughly investigate what's going on in that realm of her life . Blood is thicker than water. Don't ask her to choose between a one month acquaintance and a lifetime bond.

If you bring her home to your country be prepared to lie on the visa application . Prostitution is not considered as a stable or suitable form of income.   http://www.thaiembassy.com/thailand/uk-tourist-visa.phphttp://www.thaiembassy.com/thailand/uk-tourist-visa.php

 

 

 

 

Edited March 3, 2019 by Seth1a2a

[Jack19290]

18 minutes ago, Seth1a2a said:

_{I believe  the OP is in a slightly different category than that of an average pay for play participant. Based on a few experiences I had in the 1990s, when I looked a lot younger there is one thing I found out.}

_{There are 2 types of currency in Thailand "Cash" and "Face" and what you don't give her in cash she extracts in the form of "face".  Maybe in her view and those around her, she pursues a noble cause by having a normal acceptable relationship with someone in her own age group who she relates to and cares about while she suffers the penance of laying beneath drunken overweight over-aged slobs to earn money towards supporting herself and her family.} 

_{Young Bar girls tend to  look for young  Thais to commit to (that guy you always see sitting on the moto when you come to barfine her ?) or younger  Foreigners (she shows you where all the parties and clubs are, you don't pay her a dime and even sometimes she asks you to stay at her place so you don't have to "pay hotel" ) See , I'm not really a prostitute I just play one on TV.}

_{Just as the old guys look for the pretty young girl to display as eye candy at a casino or expensive restaurant,  you are each others social trophy.  A) I scored a Thai girlfriend for free while other guys are paying through the nose.}

_{B) She scored a young handsome foreigner who could easily find a chick his own age in his own country.}

_{Aren't we special and proud?     The problem ?  The ugly "Face" of another head ....the actual family . In a lot of cases a child is being taken care of by the parents while she works , aged family members are unable to work (no social security), a gambling or drug addicted relative has debts that need to be addressed,  and more pressure " we took care of you now you must take care of us "(more famous in Vietnamese prostitution) "you can't just sit around the house all day"..." your brother needs money for cigarettes" , "your father needs a new pickup truck......" how could we have raised such an ungrateful child"}

_{"Appun next door went to Phuket and met a good man who supports her whole family why can't you?"}

_{I remember reading some rule about daughters having more responsibility for the family than the Sons.}

 

_{You need to address the fact that there are way too many  options for employment in Thailand than for her to just plop down in that environment and say this will be my vocation.}

 

_{My view on deep relationships with Thai women who are not self sufficient, is to be prepared to become a victim of financial incest. You might not have any intentions to < F #$  censored> them but they sure as heck are planning to < F #$ censored>  you.  It starts with the "sin sod" and it ends with the divorce after everything finally gets registered in her name.  Sorry for the cynicism  ................. I've heard it better said that in Asia you don't just marry the girl you marry the family so if you choose to continue make sure you thoroughly investigate what's going on in that realm of her life . Blood is thicker than water. Don't ask her to choose between a one month acquaintance and a lifetime bond.}

_{If you bring her home to your country be prepared to lie on the visa application . Prostitution is not considered a stable form of income.   http://www.thaiembassy.com/thailand/uk-tourist-visa.phphttp://www.thaiembassy.com/thailand/uk-tourist-visa.php} 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for the reply.

 

She has decided she does not want to leave Thailand, not even for a holiday ???? she thinks Thailand is the best country in the world and doesn't see why she should leave the country when there is many islands we can travel together over there.

 

Therefore I have decided to travel back to Thailand in 3 months time for 10 days. 

 

Ofcourse i will pay her barfine unfortunately, just the free 1 day she gets I won't pay for and ofcourse I will pay for her food and travel to other islands etc 

 

I think if all goes well in 3 months time plus the 10 day holiday I will leave her money when I leave thailand to come back home. She can send the money to her family or do as she pleases. I was thinking maybe 40,000 baht nothing more.

 

That is if everything goes fine for 3 months and the 10 days holiday.

[JaiLai]

Thank you for the reply.
 
She has decided she does not want to leave Thailand, not even for a holiday [emoji53] she thinks Thailand is the best country in the world and doesn't see why she should leave the country when there is many islands we can travel together over there.
 
Therefore I have decided to travel back to Thailand in 3 months time for 10 days. 
 
Ofcourse i will pay her barfine unfortunately, just the free 1 day she gets I won't pay for and ofcourse I will pay for her food and travel to other islands etc 
 
I think if all goes well in 3 months time plus the 10 day holiday I will leave her money when I leave thailand to come back home. She can send the money to her family or do as she pleases. I was thinking maybe 40,000 baht nothing more.
 
That is if everything goes fine for 3 months and the 10 days holiday.

If I was you I’d leave a lot more.


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[Jack19290]

Yeah but what if she is having sex with other guys while I'm leaving her money ????

[Nyezhov]

21 hours ago, sanemax said:

Thats 500 Pounds per month , 6000 a year , plus your trips to Thailand to see her .

You would b looking at 10 000 GBP per year .

100 000 quid in the next ten years 

500 quid gets him once a week for a month at Ilford Lane. Cheaper and safer in the long run.

[JaiLai]

24 minutes ago, Jack19290 said:

Yeah but what if she is having sex with other guys while I'm leaving her money ????

then she can make herself look pretty, maybe get some nice panties for them.....

[Jack19290]

4 minutes ago, JaiLai said:

then she can make herself look pretty, maybe get some nice panties for them.....

That's messed up ????

[rasg]

rom what you have said

23 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

I take what you said on board and will 100% listen, like I said i don't be sending money unless she goes home and if she doesn't I don't mind speaking with her and seeing her over FaceTime and seeing her when I go out there.  

Not sure why you are discussing money at this stage. You haven't known her long. Just go with the flow and if you get requests for cash simply address it positively or negatively according to your feelings at the time. From what you have said she hasn’t demanded any cash or if she has it's been a small amount. Your current approach is doomed to failure if all you are thinking is, when is she going to ask for cash.

 

You obviously like her a lot. Just enjoy it and be prepared to walk away if you need to. Sounds like you originally met her for all the right reasons. ie. You fancied the pants off each other. My wife was a keeper a few weeks after I met her. Your girlfriend might be the same but not if you are sitting there waiting for her to demand money for her dad's sick buffalo.

 

14 hours ago, NanLaew said:

...especially a crap one like 'Private Dancer' 

Stephen Leather is an excellent author but Private Dancer is a real turkey and his worst book by far.

[Jack19290]

3 minutes ago, rasg said:

rom what you have said

Not sure why you are discussing money at this stage. You haven't known her long. Just go with the flow and if you get requests for cash simply address it positively or negatively according to your feelings at the time. From what you have said she hasn’t demanded any cash or if she has it's been a small amount. Your current approach is doomed to failure if all you are thinking is, when is she going to ask for cash.

 

You obviously like her a lot. Just enjoy it and be prepared to walk away if you need to. Sounds like you originally met her for all the right reasons. ie. You fancied the pants off each other. My wife was a keeper a few weeks after I met her. Your girlfriend might be the same but not if you are sitting there waiting for her to demand money for her dad's sick buffalo.

 

Stephen Leather is an excellent author but Private Dancer is a real turkey and his worst book by far.

I think that makes a lot of sense, thank you.

[Katia]

5 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

Thank you for the reply.

 

She has decided she does not want to leave Thailand, not even for a holiday ???? she thinks Thailand is the best country in the world and doesn't see why she should leave the country when there is many islands we can travel together over there.

 

Therefore I have decided to travel back to Thailand in 3 months time for 10 days. 

 

Ofcourse i will pay her barfine unfortunately, just the free 1 day she gets I won't pay for and ofcourse I will pay for her food and travel to other islands etc 

 

I think if all goes well in 3 months time plus the 10 day holiday I will leave her money when I leave thailand to come back home. She can send the money to her family or do as she pleases. I was thinking maybe 40,000 baht nothing more.

 

That is if everything goes fine for 3 months and the 10 days holiday.

Oh, man, this keeps getting better (I keep popping in every few pages).  First you wanted to send her 10,000 baht.  Then it was "okay, maybe 20,000, no more."  Next we got to "okay, okay, 30,000, but I really can't pay more than that."  Now we're up to 40,000 baht.

 

FiftyfiftydoIhearfiftywho'sgonnagivemefiftyhow'boutfiftythoufiftythoufiftythou...

 

 

3 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

Yeah but what if she is having sex with other guys while I'm leaving her money ????

Well, she is.  That's literally her job.  We've been discussing that for 21 pages now.

 

If you want a woman you can keep an eye on, you're going to have to actually be near her.  If you want a woman you need to keep your eye on... well... good luck to you, I guess.  (This isn't a dig on bar girls, more on lack of trust in a relationship.)

 

Does she know *you're* not sleeping with other women? 

[Jack19290]

2 hours ago, Katia said:

Oh, man, this keeps getting better (I keep popping in every few pages).  First you wanted to send her 10,000 baht.  Then it was "okay, maybe 20,000, no more."  Next we got to "okay, okay, 30,000, but I really can't pay more than that."  Now we're up to 40,000 baht.

 

FiftyfiftydoIhearfiftywho'sgonnagivemefiftyhow'boutfiftythoufiftythoufiftythou...

 

 

Well, she is.  That's literally her job.  We've been discussing that for 21 pages now.

 

If you want a woman you can keep an eye on, you're going to have to actually be near her.  If you want a woman you need to keep your eye on... well... good luck to you, I guess.  (This isn't a dig on bar girls, more on lack of trust in a relationship.)

 

Does she know *you're* not sleeping with other women? 

Well I am, I'm actually diagnosed as a sexaholic ????

 

I haven't gave her any money yet.

 

Mainly because she hasn't asked for any. 

 

I am going back in 12 weeks for 10 days, she doesn't know. It's a secret, I want to see what happens during these 12 weeks.

Edited March 3, 2019 by Jack19290

[Hummin]

1 minute ago, Jack19290 said:

Well I am, I'm actually diagnosed as a sexaholic ????

 

I haven't gave her any money yet.

 

Mainly because she hasn't asked for any. 

 

I am going back in 12 weeks for 10 days, she doesn't know. It's a secret, I want to see what happens during these 12 weeks.

Is this how sexaholic behave? 

 

????

 

anyway, the plot is realistic for many who come to Thailand, but you, are just f....... with us. 

[Spidey]

10 hours ago, Skallywag said:

Wow - bare back with a girl you have known for 6 days is just too cool  lol

It's the only way to go for me. Mind you, I had the snip many years ago.

[BobbyL]

????