Paying Thai girlfriend a "salary"

[malibukid]

On 4/4/2019 at 7:26 PM, Kenny202 said:

Mate. I assume the girls you are meeting are from bars or maybe internet dating sites. The paying your girl a wage thing is not Thai culture, it is bargirl culture. What she is effectively telling you is she will leave the bar if you pay her too. DO not be under any illusions they are making anything like 50k per month. Your average slapper would earn about 20k at very best. They don't work every single night and there wouldn't be too many pulling 3000 a punter. There is a week off for period. On the odd occasion they do make a few extra bucks they will stay away from work until its all gone. Its easy come easy go and she will treat your money the same. Do not fall for the "not have choice" crap and need take care family BS. They normally send around 3k per month back to take care of the kid or kids she will have to several different Thai men. These girls are working in the bars because they are lazy and uneducated. Many of us have been down this path. They are loveable and fun and all of that but they are hookers and will always be hookers. You've heard you can take the girl out of the bar but can not take the bar out of the girl? Don't think you are special because you are a young guy either. She would prefer an older guy with a fatter wallet, or preferably many. She wont want you to live with her either. She will be quite happy for you to stay in Australia earning the bucks and sending to her. You try and live with a bar girl she will be constantly assessing if she was better off in the bar or not. And in the end the bar will win out. They don't want to live in fancy farang houses or eat farang food. They are quite happy with the lifestyle they have.

 

I've lived here now around 7 years and the best advice I have heard is sort out where you want to live, then find the girl. I live up country Isaan. They will be queuing up for you and I mean stunners, decent girls with a job, education. Good families. They may try it on for money to if you let them but you have to follow your best judgement and be firm but fair. Once you have been here for a while you will come to realise there are millions more fish in the sea. The Thai guys give them nothing, just a lot of promises and a back hander when required. When the girl becomes too needy they simply find another. I don't condone any of this but strangely they seem to respect this. They certainly don't respect any weakness.

 

Of course if you find the right girl treat her with kindness and generosity but always keep control of the purse strings. Most I have known have no regard for future, family budgets etc. I would strongly advise not to buy any property here as it will be in your partners name. In any case it doesn't make financial sense. Not only will it give your wife leverage, you will never own it, more than likely never be able to resell it should you need to and in any case rent here is too cheap. Put the lease in your name too. Always stay in the drivers seat and in control. Any vehicles while it may be a little extra trouble, put them in your name. Never invest in anything in Thailand you can not afford to walk away from.

 

Lastly mate forget about about a bargirl. Most are uneducated and broken in some way, usually from abandonment and abuse as a child. Like I said lived here a while now and I've never heard of a happy ending although there would be some. The running gag here is "This one is different". In my experience they're pretty much all cast from the same mould. Lazy, erratic....and varying degrees of jealous and selfish violent tantrums and outbursts.  

i don't understand why these young dudes want to come to Thailand for the ladies.  

[GalaxyMan]

That would technically be called prostitution, especially if you're not married to the lady in question. Calling it a 'salary' or an 'allowance' is just a way to avoid calling a spade a spade. It's a rental fee, pure and simple; a business transaction. Money for sex/companionship. My Thai girlfriend has never asked for any such thing. She knows what that would make her and she takes a lot of pride in standing on her own two feet.

[Kadilo]

5 minutes ago, malibukid said:

i don't understand why these young dudes want to come to Thailand for the ladies.  

I guess it’s for their wit and deep and meaningful conversation. 

Edited April 7, 2019 by Kadilo

[Ireland32]

I give mine , 8,000 a month, it stops the  asking you to pay all the time, 7 years no rise , yet...50,000 cocky girls , Ridiculous 

[Kadilo]

27 minutes ago, steven100 said:

yes ..... they say, oh no, I give her nothing, as though they are making out the girl likes them so much that she will just stay with them without any support ... BS total BS.

And, really it's the same in the west as you have to pay for electricity, groceries, expenses and everything else if you have a wife ... so it's no different, it's just works out in a different way.

Of course you’re right but you obviously missed out on the abundance of degree educated stunners queuing up to live with old foreigners for free. 

 

[elmrfudd]

the key to survival is...

 

ejaculate, evacuate.

 

rinse, repeat

 

 

[Dazinoz]

On 4/4/2019 at 10:26 PM, Kenny202 said:

Mate. I assume the girls you are meeting are from bars or maybe internet dating sites. The paying your girl a wage thing is not Thai culture, it is bargirl culture. What she is effectively telling you is she will leave the bar if you pay her too. DO not be under any illusions they are making anything like 50k per month. Your average slapper would earn about 20k at very best. They don't work every single night and there wouldn't be too many pulling 3000 a punter. There is a week off for period. On the odd occasion they do make a few extra bucks they will stay away from work until its all gone. Its easy come easy go and she will treat your money the same. Do not fall for the "not have choice" crap and need take care family BS. They normally send around 3k per month back to take care of the kid or kids she will have to several different Thai men. These girls are working in the bars because they are lazy and uneducated. Many of us have been down this path. They are loveable and fun and all of that but they are hookers and will always be hookers. You've heard you can take the girl out of the bar but can not take the bar out of the girl? Don't think you are special because you are a young guy either. She would prefer an older guy with a fatter wallet, or preferably many. She wont want you to live with her either. She will be quite happy for you to stay in Australia earning the bucks and sending to her. You try and live with a bar girl she will be constantly assessing if she was better off in the bar or not. And in the end the bar will win out. They don't want to live in fancy farang houses or eat farang food. They are quite happy with the lifestyle they have.

 

I've lived here now around 7 years and the best advice I have heard is sort out where you want to live, then find the girl. I live up country Isaan. They will be queuing up for you and I mean stunners, decent girls with a job, education. Good families. They may try it on for money to if you let them but you have to follow your best judgement and be firm but fair. Once you have been here for a while you will come to realise there are millions more fish in the sea. The Thai guys give them nothing, just a lot of promises and a back hander when required. When the girl becomes too needy they simply find another. I don't condone any of this but strangely they seem to respect this. They certainly don't respect any weakness.

 

Of course if you find the right girl treat her with kindness and generosity but always keep control of the purse strings. Most I have known have no regard for future, family budgets etc. I would strongly advise not to buy any property here as it will be in your partners name. In any case it doesn't make financial sense. Not only will it give your wife leverage, you will never own it, more than likely never be able to resell it should you need to and in any case rent here is too cheap. Put the lease in your name too. Always stay in the drivers seat and in control. Any vehicles while it may be a little extra trouble, put them in your name. Never invest in anything in Thailand you can not afford to walk away from.

 

Lastly mate forget about about a bargirl. Most are uneducated and broken in some way, usually from abandonment and abuse as a child. Like I said lived here a while now and I've never heard of a happy ending although there would be some. The running gag here is "This one is different". In my experience they're pretty much all cast from the same mould. Lazy, erratic....and varying degrees of jealous and selfish violent tantrums and outbursts.  

Extremely accurate post.

[puukao]

If you have money and can help a human, and love this human, why not?  must you let them have a worse life if you can help them?  if you don't love them, wait until you find love and then help... quit being selfish and greedy.  if you give them money and think you OWN them, then you are just like Hitler and horrible human beings!!!!  give and ask nothing in return, but love.  

 

i give mine 4000 baht a month while the other 10 people give 2 thousand baht, so it adds up.... we have a LINE group, "Suckers paying for nothing because we are stupid suckers"  

[Date Masamune]

2 minutes ago, malibukid said:

i don't understand why these young dudes want to come to Thailand for the ladies.  

Some lack assertiveness have no relationship experience. I met one was a complete novice never been laid even in college.

The Thai boyfriend came to his room and stole all his stuff and he believed he had been burgled! He had met a real pro-girlfriend people warned him but he was cleaned out in months went home broke. Had to ask mummy for a ticket back to Toronto. 

[donim]

On 4/4/2019 at 6:32 PM, NCC1701A said:

set your budget (which should be zero) and tell her that is it. if she does not like it she will be instantly replaced. 

perhaps.. but surely 'YOU will be instantly replaced' ????

[steven100]

yes .....   ' but this one is different '  

[marcusarelus]

25 minutes ago, Dazinoz said:

Extremely accurate post.

If you are talking about adopting soi dogs.

[marcusarelus]

40 minutes ago, GalaxyMan said:

That would technically be called prostitution, especially if you're not married to the lady in question. Calling it a 'salary' or an 'allowance' is just a way to avoid calling a spade a spade. It's a rental fee, pure and simple; a business transaction. Money for sex/companionship. My Thai girlfriend has never asked for any such thing. She knows what that would make her and she takes a lot of pride in standing on her own two feet.

If my memory is correct (and it's usually still pretty good) you are buying a 2.8 million house for your girlfriend?  ????

[Jingjock]

On ‎4‎/‎4‎/‎2019 at 4:02 AM, petermik said:

he,ll soon find out there,s no honey without money which ever spelling he uses

Here buy sex or rent love, no options

[Odin Norway]

1 hour ago, jimn said:

If you are living here and she is living with you then you are paying for most of her expenses. It would be reasonable for you to give her about 9,000 that she could send home to her family. If you wasn't living here and you want her to be exclusively with you, 20,000 is reasonable although I wouldnt recommend it, as you would have no idea if she was being faithful. If you end up marrying her then 2 or 3,000 pocket money is enough. There will be loads on here who will say pay nothing. Yes in the western world I agree but this is Thailand and the culture is completely different.

After reading your smart calculation here,I am sure she would just die to get married to you.Going from 9000 and <deleted>..ing around to 3000 if married.I am guessing you are living in the same place after married.That must be a bad deal.20 000 to be exclusive. When? Is that when the gullible foreigner stay over seas and visits only a couple of times a year or what? Hell my X gets 30 from abroad and still comes over if she feels like it.Works for me

[spidermike007]

It all depends. If she is 45 years old with two kids her "market value" is minimal. But if she is 25 years younger than you, she is not with you for your good looks. It costs at least $1000 a month to "date" a woman in the US. What is the difference?

 

15,000 is a reasonable "allowance".  Then she does not have to pester you for expenses. Let's get real. If she is asking for more than that, move on. 

[anchadian]

On 4/4/2019 at 6:05 PM, FarangOnTour said:

I asked her what the average daily wage was in Issan, she said 300bhat. 

I multiplied this by 7 (assuming the worker works every day) = 2100bhat

Then multiplied by 4 to the get average monthly wage for the average Issan worker = 8400bhat (i.e. a far cry from 50'000bhat)

 

You have calculated a monthly wage of B8,400 whereas it should be B9,125 (365 x 300 = B109,500 divided by 12 months = B9,125)

 

Taking the above as an example, you would have underpaid her by B725 a month or  B8,700 year.

[Dazinoz]

36 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

If you are talking about adopting soi dogs.

Safer doing that.

[Kadilo]

35 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

If my memory is correct (and it's usually still pretty good) you are buying a 2.8 million house for your girlfriend?  ????

One of the many Hippocrites on here. 

[marcusarelus]

1 hour ago, malibukid said:

i don't understand why these young dudes want to come to Thailand for the ladies.  

Not everyone will remember him but I am reminded of that circus fellow from Poland who always wore the red shoes - long time resident Pattaya.  Then there was the guy with the gold glitter outfit on the bike and don't forget that muscle guy from NZ.  I can see why. 

[kevin612]

50k is way too much, plus daily expenses it will cost you at least 70k per month. She is not the right girl.

[yogi100]

1 hour ago, malibukid said:

i don't understand why these young dudes want to come to Thailand for the ladies.  

Cos they know they're gonna get a bunk up.

[steven100]

56 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

Money for sex/companionship. My Thai girlfriend has never asked for any such thing.

hahaha .........   good joke  !   ????

[murraynz]

i think giving a 'live in' thai girlfriend a salary is ok if it overs her personal expenses and money to support her family ONLY, say 10,000 thb max.she shouldnt ask for any more.

i dont pay rent and dont mind paying for her clothes and outings...

if they dont get the above-they have to work-that creates problems...

bargirls are a problem, because they like to sleep all day--most are 'butterflies'.

paying a lady 50,000thb /mth  as the op proposes, is ridiculous--very few bar girls would make that sort of money--very few bargirls send more than 10,000thb/mth to family..

[luk AJ]

What people spend on their GF and family is their own choice even if this would be 100k. I am 20y with the same woman, I help her and her family whenever I feel necessary. My money, my choice. So people who judge others for the money others spend are the ones with a problem, not the other way around. What else are we supposed to do? Pile up the money? For what? Better enjoy it together with the people you love.


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, elmrfudd said:

the key to survival is...

 

ejaculate, evacuate.

 

rinse, repeat

 

 

If that's your attitude to sex, you and whoever you are with must enjoy a wonderful time when you're getting it on. Sounds like soi dogs.

[yogi100]

16 minutes ago, Benroon said:

Not to much racism there then

 

Theres 38,000,000 thai girls - asked them all ?

Jesus wept!

 

How did you manage to shoehorn 'racism' into the topic. What on earth has TBL's post go to do with racism or 'to much racism'

[wolf81]

Just my weigh in on the topic. My girlfriend doesn't work and take care for our daughter. Initially (before our daughter was born) she requested 30.000 Baht per month and eventually I agreed on this. Starting this year I've set our shared budget to 45.000 Baht per month, so that is for buying everything for herself, me and our daughter. Next year will probably increase our budget to 50.000 Baht as well, if all goes as planned with work and investments. Our spending is about 25% of my monthly income, occasionally I might add some extra gift (e.g. for birthdays)

 

I also bought a house (1.5 million Baht) and car (1.1 million Baht) for my GF, so effectively she got a whole lot more value per month that the originally intended 30.000 Baht per month.

[Ggeorge]

I agree with what has been said. Finding a nice girl is easy.  I met a young woman and it turned out that her net worth was higher than mine, and I am a professor and thus well-paid. It's been a 24-year honeymoon.  It sounds like a cliche, but it's true.  

 

Before people think to disagree: We own or have owned multiple houses and buildings (including five apartment buildings and an upscale hotel) in the USA and in Thailand (the hotel was in the USA, btw).  Some are in my name, some in hers, some in both of ours -- depending on what the easiest way was to do the paperwork. She is funny, incredibly hard-working, caring.  Best decision I ever made was to marry her.    

Edited April 7, 2019 by Ggeorge
finished thought

[Ajvat37]

Dude you are 31 and talking about wanting a relationship with a hooker?  How about just have fun with the bar girls until you meet a nice university girl to date.  I’ve never been asked for a “salary” from the Thai girls I’ve been with because I don’t pursue relationships with prostitutes. Calm your nerves and keep your emotions in check for a while when you do move here.