Paying Thai girlfriend a "salary"

[marcusarelus]

1 minute ago, PingRoundTheWorld said:

Sadly, I sometimes feel the same about my girlfriend. Anything more than a few days away and she goes batshit crazy.

My poor dog can't poop alone or in a strange place.  She was at the Vet for 3 days (operation) didn't go.  Came home and pooped 8 times in 30 minutes.  Poor dog. 

[Kenny202]

 
You read this elsewhere and now quote this tripe because you are incapable of learning and understanding a new language. 

I agree with the thai guy in the background thing. Not tripe at all. Lived in several villages and in every case 2 or 3 farang wives moved a bf in the moment the old boy went away. I was living with a senior nurse, accross the road from a girl who was on her 3rd foreigner. The nurse used to talk to her about it, laugh about it. Said she moved the farang on as soon as they stopped paying. I said you dont see this as bad? She said no...she's (geng) smart. I asked her what the other villagers thought of her trips to pattaya etc. I was under the assumption a person of position wudnt even talk to a scrubber like that. I was clearly a bit agitated by her attitude and I asked her what if she was two timing a Thai bloke like that? Would it be accepted? A resounding NOOOOO! She tried to defend her saying while the farang guy is in Thailand....she love only him. I said "ok, u work around 12 hours a day. How about in the day I spend time with a girlfriend...but wen you come back home I love only you...is that ok? NOOOO. What I learnt from that and other similar experiences is that they view us as a different species.

U can learn to speak Thai all you like. You will never think or reason like a Thai. Or become a Thai. Every girl Ive met here say they hate Thai men. Its all BS. A thai man can not provide like a farang man, but they would much rather be in a relationship with a thai.

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[marcusarelus]

1 minute ago, Kenny202 said:

I agree with the thai guy in the background thing. Not tripe at all. Lived in several villages and in every case 2 or 3 farang wives moved a bf in the moment the old boy went away. I was living with a senior nurse, accross the road from a girl who was on her 3rd foreigner. The nurse used to talk to her about it, laugh about it. Said she moved the farang on as soon as they stopped paying. I said you dont see this as bad? She said no...she's (geng) smart. I asked her what the other villagers thought of her trips to pattaya etc. I was under the assumption a person of position wudnt even talk to a scrubber like that. I was clearly a bit agitated by her attitude and I asked her what if she was two timing a Thai bloke like that? Would it be accepted? A resounding NOOOOO! She tried to defend her saying while the farang guy is in Thailand....she love only him. I said "ok, u work around 12 hours a day. How about in the day I spend time with a girlfriend...but wen you come back home I love only you...is that ok? NOOOO. What I learnt from that and other similar experiences is that they view us as a different species.

U can learn to speak Thai all you like. You will never think or reason like a Thai. Or become a Thai. Every girl Ive met here say they hate Thai men. Its all BS. A thai man can not provide like a farang man, but they would much rather be in a relationship with a thai.

Sent from my SM-J730GM using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

As many grains of sand on the beach are the varieties of Thai women. You have met a few, I've met a few thousand.  They are all different. 

[PingRoundTheWorld]

6 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

What I learnt from that and other similar experiences is that they view us as a different species.

Get out of the village and move to the city. What you say is true for country girls/bar girls/uneducated, but normal girls with uni degrees and internet are different.

[FarangOnTour]

On 4/4/2019 at 5:18 PM, Psimbo said:

4 words- 'Private Dancer' and 'Bangkok Rules'. 

Haven't heard these yet, can you explain?

[FarangOnTour]

On 4/5/2019 at 8:54 AM, moonseeker said:

Complete rubbish. Not everybody is paying his "gf". Plenty of non bar girl relationships around. Off course there are still massive cultural differences which affect relationships and families. If you are looking for advice on this subject from the regular men-clown here, you won't get much insight. You are young enough to explore TH and venture away from the bar scene. Make your own experience and find an independent, smart girl that has Western views. Maybe also look at some other Asian countries. TH is  far, far from what it used to be 25 years ago and I would never consider living here, had i just arrived. Great options about.

Good luck and enjoy. MS>

 

I am in no rush to settle down, I think the general perception taken from my first post is that I am ready to hand some lady 50K bhat per month. 

I have no intention of doing so but was simply asking a question that intrigued me to people more experienced in the matter.

 

Out of interest, if you were me where else would you think about living in Asia?

 

What are the biggest/worst changes you have encountered in the last 25 years?

[marcusarelus]

9 minutes ago, FarangOnTour said:

Haven't heard these yet, can you explain?

Novels, they used to be required reading for punters 20 years ago before the INTERNET.   Now pretty much any 13 year old kid can get the same information playing on line in 20 minutes of Bigo or one of the other social apps.

Edited April 8, 2019 by marcusarelus

[FarangOnTour]

On 4/6/2019 at 5:03 AM, SuperTed said:

 The reality is you are with your woman every night the first year in a Thai relationship (first hand experiences), and three times a week is not unreasonable thereafter (from word of mouth). 

Can you explain what you meant by that?

[JimP]

Been married for 7 years.  Like you, I was 'Mr. Big Bucks' when we dated.  But now that we are married, (house built, sinsod offered) I have pulled back hard on the financial reins.  It's never enough, but I had had enough, so I cut what I was doling out in half.  I told her if she didn't like it, there are a lot of poor drunk Thai motorcycle drivers who gamble and screw any girl in sight for her to choose from.  That shut her up...for the moment at least.  It's a tricky situation.  You don't want to attach a dollar amount to her love, because that is your way of thinking.  Her way of thinking is, "Oh man, this is how I can take care of my parents.  This is how I earn merit for being a good daughter."  My advice is never give more than you can afford. 

Edited April 8, 2019 by JimP

[FarangOnTour]

On 4/6/2019 at 1:47 PM, DepDavid said:

Regardless a girlfriend gets no salary. You came to Thailand found a beautiful piece of donkey and are crying all the way home because you can’t save her or be with her forever. Listen, don’t send any money. Next time you come here you will find another even better. I know girls who have 3 or 4 guys like you sending money. They just laugh at the stupid Farang. Bottom line, don’t send anything.


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

Don't worry, was just asking a question to hear the responses. I am not/was never going to send any money.

[Kenny202]

 
I am in no rush to settle down, I think the general perception taken from my first post is that I am ready to hand some lady 50K bhat per month. 
I have no intention of doing so but was simply asking a question that intrigued me to people more experienced in the matter.
 
Out of interest, if you were me where else would you think about living in Asia?
 
What are the biggest/worst changes you have encountered in the last 25 years?

It has definitely changed here in the last 10 years I have been coming here. Mainly due I think to the internet / internet dating / social media. Expectations of money falling from the sky even when the girl is practically useless. No job or education, questionable family etc. Farangs living in Thailand arent the hot commodity they used to be. Many girls seem to be after a farang sure...but not one who lives here. Still very easy to meet a girl here for sure but for many of the girls on the internet / dating sites the holy grail is a farang living overseas who will only come and visit a few times a year but keep the payments rolling in.

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[FarangOnTour]

On 4/7/2019 at 4:15 AM, 4737 Carlin said:

Your 31 not 71. Surely there are women you won't have to pay in your own country.

Plenty of them, all seeking marriage, child/children a joint 40 year mortgage in a residential area just above what we can comfortably afford ... all of which I can provide if the thought of slaving away for the next 40 years to pay for said mortgage and maintenance of wifes illusion of happiness didn't make me physically sick.

 

Would much rather a small, cheap pad in an Asian country and a more carefree life. If adding a Thai GF seems like it is going to had unwanted hassle and/or costs then this will not be happening either.  

[FarangOnTour]

On 4/7/2019 at 5:58 AM, atyclb said:

 

 

depends

 

 

Ha, ha, ha, that's good. Thankfully, I am an outlier in that data. I'm a boxer, helps with keeping lean ????

[FarangOnTour]

On 4/7/2019 at 6:50 AM, malibukid said:

i don't understand why these young dudes want to come to Thailand for the ladies.  

In my case it is not for for the ladies, but for the cheap cost of living (I have no intention of paying big money for a GF, the general interpretation of my original post would make you think different though, ha), and general sense of freedom in a society far less regulated than my own country (although, there may be downsides to this that I may not be able to see)

[FarangOnTour]

On 4/7/2019 at 9:26 AM, Ajvat37 said:

Dude you are 31 and talking about wanting a relationship with a hooker?  How about just have fun with the bar girls until you meet a nice university girl to date.  I’ve never been asked for a “salary” from the Thai girls I’ve been with because I don’t pursue relationships with prostitutes. Calm your nerves and keep your emotions in check for a while when you do move here.

A wild misinterpretation on my original post. I have no intention of getting into a relationship with this woman or any other. I was merely asking a question that intrigued me, and added some additional information about liking the country and wanting to live there in the future.

[marcusarelus]

26 minutes ago, JimP said:

Been married for 7 years.  Like you, I was 'Mr. Big Bucks' when we dated.  But now that we are married, (house built, sinsod offered) I have pulled back hard on the financial reins.  It's never enough, but I had had enough, so I cut what I was doling out in half.  I told her if she didn't like it, there are a lot of poor drunk Thai motorcycle drivers who gamble and screw any girl in sight for her to choose from.  That shut her up...for the moment at least.  It's a tricky situation.  You don't want to attach a dollar amount to her love, because that is your way of thinking.  Her way of thinking is, "Oh man, this is how I can take care of my parents.  This is how I earn merit for being a good daughter."  My advice is never give more than you can afford. 

You wrote, "I told her if she didn't like it, there are a lot of poor drunk Thai motorcycle drivers who gamble and screw any girl in sight for her to choose from.  That shut her up...for the moment at least."  And you'll wonder why she has a Thai guy over when you go out to the store.   ????

[marcusarelus]

1 minute ago, FarangOnTour said:

A wild misinterpretation on my original post. I have no intention of getting into a relationship with this woman or any other. I was merely asking a question that intrigued me, and added some additional information about liking the country and wanting to live there in the future.

In other words a, "troll post." 

[Kenny202]

Been married for 7 years.  Like you, I was 'Mr. Big Bucks' when we dated.  But now that we are married, (house built, sinsod offered) I have pulled back hard on the financial reins.  It's never enough, but I had had enough, so I cut what I was doling out in half.  I told her if she didn't like it, there are a lot of poor drunk Thai motorcycle drivers who gamble and screw any girl in sight for her to choose from.  That shut her up...for the moment at least.  It's a tricky situation.  You don't want to attach a dollar amount to her love, because that is your way of thinking.  Her way of thinking is, "Oh man, this is how I can take care of my parents.  This is how I earn merit for being a good daughter."  My advice is never give more than you can afford. 

I think many of us have been down that path. Fullfilled all of the initial requirements....gold, home etc....but most dont think it ends there. Ive come to the conclusion that all you are doing by putting property etc in their name is painting yourself into a corner where you have everything to lose and they have all of the leverage...of which they are well aware. I didnt get burned financially too bad but I will never put my self in that position again. Home lease, vehicles...everything in my name. If I live with a girl now I treat her generously and considerately but if she is not adding happiness or value to my life its bye bye. Spent 7 years of my life trying to appease my first Thai gf's every whim. I asked her one day what she does for me? "I live with you everyday". Similar response from a school teacher. "You get my body". Many seem to think thats the deal but forget there are literally millions of replacements

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[atyclb]

1 hour ago, marcusarelus said:

1 hour ago, PingRoundTheWorld said:

Sadly, I sometimes feel the same about my girlfriend. Anything more than a few days away and she goes batshit crazy.

My poor dog can't poop alone or in a strange place.  She was at the Vet for 3 days (operation) didn't go.  Came home and pooped 8 times in 30 minutes.  Poor dog. 

 

no shit

[atyclb]

8 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

52 minutes ago, JimP said:

Been married for 7 years.  Like you, I was 'Mr. Big Bucks' when we dated.  But now that we are married, (house built, sinsod offered) I have pulled back hard on the financial reins.  It's never enough, but I had had enough, so I cut what I was doling out in half.  I told her if she didn't like it, there are a lot of poor drunk Thai motorcycle drivers who gamble and screw any girl in sight for her to choose from.  That shut her up...for the moment at least.  It's a tricky situation.  You don't want to attach a dollar amount to her love, because that is your way of thinking.  Her way of thinking is, "Oh man, this is how I can take care of my parents.  This is how I earn merit for being a good daughter."  My advice is never give more than you can afford. 

I think many of us have been down that path. Fullfilled all of the initial requirements....gold, home etc....but most dont think it ends there. Ive come to the conclusion that all you are doing by putting property etc in their name is painting yourself into a corner where you have everything to lose and they have all of the leverage...of which they are well aware. I didnt get burned financially too bad but I will never put my self in that position again. Home lease, vehicles...everything in my name. If I live with a girl now I treat her generously and considerately but if she is not adding happiness or value to my life its bye bye. Spent 7 years of my life trying to appease my first Thai gf's every whim. I asked her one day what she does for me? "I live with you everyday". Similar response from a school teacher. "You get my body". Many seem to think thats the deal but forget there are literally millions of replacements

 

 

amen. the most sincere loving mutually respectful rewarding relationships i have had in thailand are with my guitar and surfboard. no fee girls tend to be attracted to both but i never lose track of perspective.

Edited April 8, 2019 by atyclb

[FarangOnTour]

30 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

In other words a, "troll post." 

Depends on your definition of "troll post". I havn't the time to discuss it any further though, so i'll leave it up to you to decide.

[FarangOnTour]

A message from the original poster:

 

Thanks for all the replies, a great effort put in by some posters. Some of the less more helpful made me laugh with their comment so thanks for that too.

 

Just wanted to clear up some issues which were prevalent throughout the responses.

 

• I am 31 but not in a rush to find a GF/Wife
• I do not have a GF and the Thai lady I spoke with was a bar worker I had for one night and decided to question her so I could learn, nice girl but no interest in relationship with her.
• I have no intention of sending money to any woman from abroad but being honest if I find myself living in the country later in my life I do not have an immediate problem with contributing some money towards a GF/wife, but naturally this would be based on her income, I would be monitoring where this money I provide is going, and it would be an amount I am comfortable with paying (and definitely no more than I think a Farang wife would cost me in my own country).
• I do not consider myself ugly as some suggested (definitely no Brad Pitt), but I am a full-time boxer (since age 7) so my body is at least superficially beautiful ???? 
• Unlike most on here I am fortunate enough to have an immediate family member with a Thai passpost (a weird twist of fate many years ago). Therefore I do not need to put any property in Thai GF/Wifes name. I can take care of that myself.
• In short, I am not about to start forking money across the seas, I am not attached to any particular girl, I am not rushing in fact I am doing the opposite, I am researching 10 years ahead of time ???? 

Again, thank you for all the replies, alwaysd nice to get info from those more experienced. 

 

 

[Odin Norway]

1 hour ago, Kenny202 said:

It has definitely changed here in the last 10 years I have been coming here. Mainly due I think to the internet / internet dating / social media. Expectations of money falling from the sky even when the girl is practically useless. No job or education, questionable family etc. Farangs living in Thailand arent the hot commodity they used to be. Many girls seem to be after a farang sure...but not one who lives here. Still very easy to meet a girl here for sure but for many of the girls on the internet / dating sites the holy grail is a farang living overseas who will only come and visit a few times a year but keep the payments rolling in.

Sent from my SM-J730GM using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

That is spot on by Kenny right there.If you live here do not ever say it,it you go a bit away from your own places and nobody knows you.

Good answer is always:When did you come?....oh yesterday....How long you stay?: 2-3 weeks.......What is your plans?. I dont know yet..... Try to say you live up north in your own house with your own car is a big nono.

[grollies]

16 minutes ago, FarangOnTour said:

A message from the original poster:

 

Thanks for all the replies, a great effort put in by some posters. Some of the less more helpful made me laugh with their comment so thanks for that too.

 

Just wanted to clear up some issues which were prevalent throughout the responses.

 

• I am 31 but not in a rush to find a GF/Wife
• I do not have a GF and the Thai lady I spoke with was a bar worker I had for one night and decided to question her so I could learn, nice girl but no interest in relationship with her.
• I have no intention of sending money to any woman from abroad but being honest if I find myself living in the country later in my life I do not have an immediate problem with contributing some money towards a GF/wife, but naturally this would be based on her income, I would be monitoring where this money I provide is going, and it would be an amount I am comfortable with paying (and definitely no more than I think a Farang wife would cost me in my own country).
• I do not consider myself ugly as some suggested (definitely no Brad Pitt), but I am a full-time boxer (since age 7) so my body is at least superficially beautiful ???? 
• Unlike most on here I am fortunate enough to have an immediate family member with a Thai passpost (a weird twist of fate many years ago). Therefore I do not need to put any property in Thai GF/Wifes name. I can take care of that myself.
• In short, I am not about to start forking money across the seas, I am not attached to any particular girl, I am not rushing in fact I am doing the opposite, I am researching 10 years ahead of time ???? 

Again, thank you for all the replies, alwaysd nice to get info from those more experienced. 

 

 

Nice one mate, get some cash behind you, retire early and decide what you want. Good luck.

[4675636b596f75]

2 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

In other words a, "troll post." 

When you are out walking, do you look under the overpass bridges, especially the stairs?  Trolls hide there.

[yrag]

Get a DOG

 

Mans Best Friend..........Unconditional Love.....U be RICH

 

Ask her to pay you....your not one of them...

 

If this not work.....Get a dog

 

You will be rich for it...

[richard_smith237]

If a girl friend gets paid a salary, does that mean she’s well on the road to being called ‘Mia Farang’ ???

 

May as well just join the two threads.... 

 

 

 

 

[PingRoundTheWorld]

7 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

but for many of the girls on the internet / dating sites the holy grail is a farang living overseas who will only come and visit a few times a year but keep the payments rolling in.

but for many of the girls hookers on the internet / dating sites the holy grail is a farang living overseas who will only come and visit a few times a year but keep the payments rolling in.
 

^^^ Fixed.

[Tomahawk21]

8 hours ago, atyclb said:

 

 

if i want that i will get a dog and a cat.  although i love animals it would be a problem arranging care for them while i am away

whats your point ? your just confirming what i said, or are u just sucking up to me ?

[inThailand]

14 hours ago, manhood said:

Sorry guys: would you pay a salary to a girlfriend in europe or any other westernised country?

No!!!!!!!

but here in Thailand men seem to loose their little of brain comoletly!!!!!

 

They their wouldn't have one or she would be uglier and fatter than them. Don't you know....money buys a fantasy.