Why would 50% of men still date a Thai bar girl?

[rooster59]

Why would 50% of men still date a Thai bar girl?

By Dan Cheeseman in DEBATE LIFESTYLE BLOG

 

 

Never has a vote, since Brexit, been so divisive and its the hot topic in Thailand of bar girls. Take a look at the votes from my Facebook page for yourself, it is neck and neck.

 

On face value we are all flesh and blood right, so should it matter? Well I guess it comes down to your own perception on matters but also there needs to be a reality check here.

 

I have heard some expats define going with a bar girl not like prostitution but rather more akin to ‘renting a girlfriend’. If you were in Kings Cross London and go with a prostitute it is all about a quick transaction. You pay your money and you get sex. The dynamics can be slightly different in Thailand and you could stay with your ‘rented girlfriend’ for the duration of your holiday.

 

I always struggled with the idea of dating a bar girl, and I have to admit I have ‘been there, done that’ but was always uncomfortable with what I was doing. It was in my early years of living in Pattaya and all my friends had taken their girlfriends from the bars and I fooled myself into thinking this was the only way if you wanted to live over here. My circles back then were bar related and I had yet to find a job.

 

One comment to my poll seems to summarise the situation: “You can take the girl out of the bar but you can’t take the bar out of the girl”. Often the girl is tainted by other bar girl talk and they have an expectation for what they should be entitled to being in a ‘farang’ relationship. Paying a ‘retainer’ to the girl each month for starters, but remember my point on perception, some foreigners would defend it by saying you would look after a regular girlfriend in the same way. I cannot look at it in this way, the bar girl expects this money in order to stay with you, a normal girlfriend would be supportive of you.

 

The other thing I found nuts – and I am not talking about the ladyboys crown jewels – when dating a bar girl all those years back was telling lies to my friends and family. When asked how I met I certainly didn’t say she was a prostitute and that our first ‘date’ cost me one thousand baht! What if I went on to have children with her and my kids asked the same question of how we met?!

 

Full story: https://danaboutthailand.com/2019/05/02/why-would-50-of-men-still-date-a-thai-bar-girl/

 

 

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[AGareth2]

the sex

[yogi100]

For the overwhelming number of Falang visitors to Pattaya the only way they're ever going to get a 'girl friend' is if they pay for one. I'm the same.

 

Even the ones who settle with a 'wife' have only been married for their money.

 

But it suits lots of us. Probably more than it suits them because they've got to be on their best behaviour all the time while we haven't.

[XenZen]

never done it, but i bet the farang gets lonely and wants someone who will talk to them.  bar girls probably have better english than most.  less chance of rejection, so a friend with a cost.  plus sex is maybe without love, so less pressure and commitment for farang.  there is a problem.   when it ends, and it will end, the farang will be even more lonely and realize it wasn't special.  i worry about if she is an alcoholic, since that would add to the problems.  and aids of course.  and going to eat and guys looking at her as if they know her.  lol  

[watcharacters]

 

 

Why NOT?

[Hayduke]

 

Renting is better than buying.

 

 

[brewsterbudgen]

It's not dating if they are working as a prostitute. If they pack in the sex work, then some ex-bargirls can make great girlfriends, long-term partners or wives. One just has to find the right one.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

[sanemax]

Been there done that .

Wasnt really intentional , just went to the same bar to watch football and became friends with "the cashier" , get to know her quite well , became friends and saved her from a life of bar work by supporting her , so that she didnt have to work in a bar .

    With the Pound at 55 Baht , we had a great few years , spending like there was no tomorrow .

  My income fell by by 30 % , the Pound went to 40 Baht and I had to cut back on spending , she then <deleted> off back to the bar   

[nev]

10 minutes ago, brewsterbudgen said:

It's not dating if they are working as a prostitute. If they pack in the sex work, then some ex-bargirls can make great girlfriends, long-term partners or wives. One just has to find the right one.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
 

Are you saying they have prostitute's in Pattaya never mate they are all working as cashier's.

[cornishcarlos]

15 minutes ago, Hayduke said:

 

Renting is better than buying.

 

 

 

Until the landlord wants to move back in ????

[ezzra]

20-30 years ago the the bar girls were much younger prettier and definitely more genuine and in real need for the extra cash and were happy if you took them out for a good meal and sleep over in an AC room with soft bed, now days it ' show me the money' thing while she times you and hurry back to the bar for the next customer, why people go to bar? million reasons, boardom, quick sex, eye candy, talk to someone at a cost of a lady drink or just get away from home the wife or the GF...

[FolkGuitar]

 

 Paying a ‘retainer’ to the girl each month for starters, but remember my point on perception, some foreigners would defend it by saying you would look after a regular girlfriend in the same way. 

 

Who in their right mind ever paid a retainer to a girlfriend back in the home country?  Sure, here in Thailand, if you have an ex-bar-girl girlfriend she will 'expect' it. It's how she made her living, perhaps for years. 

 

But if she expects a legitimate lifestyle, she can find a legitimate job, just like every other Thai woman who doesn't wish to enter the sex trade. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being a bar girl. That's a chosen profession. But if you leave the profession, leave it completely. For a man who continues to pay, sorry Charlie... more the fool, you! You still have a rented bar-girl, not a girlfriend.

 

[Nyezhov]

I dont date. I reach an agreement with a woman that she will dissapear from my life if I pay her

[Peterw42]

Its not 50%, its 49/51% the same as condo or company ownership.

 

So applying the same logic, I can rent a scooter and start telling everyone its mine, rent a condo and start renovating it, after all its mine now.

 

It probably comes down to whether the scooter was a rental or the cashier in the rental shop.

 

[Thaiwrath]

One of the all time classics...........................................My (bar) girl is different !" ???? ???? ????

[brewsterbudgen]

7 minutes ago, Thaiwrath said:

One of the all time classics...........................................My (bar) girl is different !" ???? ???? ????

So true.  We're all different (thank God).

[RJRS1301]

1 minute ago, brewsterbudgen said:

So true.  We're all different (thank God).

So the sky fairy is responsible for our differences, not genetics?? ????

 

[Skallywag]

1 hour ago, rooster59 said:

expats define going with a bar girl not like prostitution but rather more akin to ‘renting a girlfriend’.

Better than marrying.  You really think you are not paying/buying a wife? 

In reality it costs half your net worth, and more for all the pain and suffering if she "changes" after marriage 

1 hour ago, rooster59 said:

a normal girlfriend would be supportive of you.

Until you run out of money

[neeray]

1 hour ago, rooster59 said:

I have heard some expats define going with a bar girl not like prostitution but rather more akin to ‘renting a girlfriend’

The above is a serious case of semantics.

 

But Rooster, this will be a long running thread and a fun read.

[Puchaiyank]

I've been with the so called pretentious "good girls"...and those unashamedly working in the flesh trade...

 

The meat market girls are more upfront and honest about their intentions...

 

Bottom line in most cases...there is an expectation of some money exchange...quickly or over time...you end up at the same place as a farang...  

[Tropicalevo]

56 minutes ago, FolkGuitar said:

 

 

 

Who in their right mind ever paid a retainer to a girlfriend back in the home country?  Sure, here in Thailand, if you have an ex-bar-girl girlfriend she will 'expect' it. It's how she made her living, perhaps for years. 

You have a very myopic view on life. It is rarely black and white.

 

So you have a live in girlfriend and she looses her job.  You would give her nothing?

56 minutes ago, FolkGuitar said:

 

But if she expects a legitimate lifestyle, she can find a legitimate job, just like every other Thai woman who doesn't wish to enter the sex trade. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being a bar girl. That's a chosen profession. But if you leave the profession, leave it completely. For a man who continues to pay, sorry Charlie... more the fool, you! You still have a rented bar-girl, not a girlfriend.

 

Not so easy for a girl with no qualifications to get a job in Thailand. My ex-business partner had to leave school at 14 to help on the farm. Eventually she moved down from Kong Keng to Bangkok to be a hostess so that she could send money home so that her family could live.

 

A friend of mine met her in the bar and after some time he asked her to move down to Samui to live with him. She said that would love to, but that her family needed money, so she would need to stay in Bangkok. My friend offered to pay her a retainer to support her family. She moved to Samui.

 

I was looking for staff at the time and so I interviewed her. I saw an honest, well meaning very intelligent lady. Zero qualifications and self taught basic English and in your words 'an ex bar girl'.

 

I suspect that not many people would have offered her a job but I did. I saw her potential. She started as a cleaner and over the next fifteen years she just grew and grew. She became my business parter and director of the company as well as a good friend to my wife and me.

 

 

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, rooster59 said:

The other thing I found nuts – and I am not talking about the ladyboys crown jewels – when dating a bar girl all those years back was telling lies to my friends and family. When asked how I met I certainly didn’t say she was a prostitute and that our first ‘date’ cost me one thousand baht! What if I went on to have children with her and my kids asked the same question of how we met?!

Every girl I ever had sex with I met in a bar, I have no problem telling my kids that.

The Brit virgin schoolteacher I regret, wasted nearly 30 years of my life not much sex, and cost me a house and pension.

All of the Thai/Flip/Khmer/Viet bargirls were a lot of fun, frequent sex, and good value for money.

 

You can keep your respectable independent, hard-working sex rationing women, I want one that bangs me every night.

[essox essox]

1 hour ago, brewsterbudgen said:

It's not dating if they are working as a prostitute. If they pack in the sex work, then some ex-bargirls can make great girlfriends, long-term partners or wives. One just has to find the right one.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
 

just like getting the 6 numbers on the Thai lottery then !!!???

[sungod]

1 hour ago, FolkGuitar said:

 

 

 

Who in their right mind ever paid a retainer to a girlfriend back in the home country? 

Who in their right mind would shack up with a minger back in the home country?

[ThaiBunny]

Just now, sungod said:

Who in their right mind would shack up with a minger back in the home country?

Donald Trump?

[AlexRich]

“If it floats, flies or fecks, rent, don’t buy”

 

Boats, aeroplanes and divorces are expensive ... 

[brucegoniners]

It’s simple. Low self esteem.

[chicowoodduck]

Just go down Soi 6 in Pattaya....they ladies are so freaking hot....why not rent a coin operated gf and be done with it....????????

[BritManToo]

55 minutes ago, brucegoniners said:

It’s simple. Low self esteem.

Low esteem is living with a woman who won't bang you when you're in the mood.

[NCC1701A]

"honey you are great, but we need to bring your friend home too."

 

that is why.