Are you married to a Thai woman – Any Snippets of Advice .

[Whip Me Granny]

While looking at various different posts on numerous subjects I keep seeing a reference by the poster about how long they have been married to a Thai woman.  

The longest duration ive seen so far posted for a foreigner being married to a Thai woman is 20 years ????

 

So I’m now wondering how long other forum members here have been married to their Thai partners , so my question to any other forum members who are married to a Thai partner and have been married for a relatively long time is this …..

 

If I asked you to give any snippets of advice to other forum members who may be considering marriage to a Thai woman or have just started out down the road to married life with a Thai partner.  

 

What would your advice be , what after all Your years of being married to a Thai woman , in your personal opinion makes a successful long term marriage work ? 

 

Thanks 

 

WMG 

 

 

.

[petermik]

Be lucky AND never spend more money than you can afford to walk away from if necessary

[Kwasaki]

10 minutes ago, Whip Me Granny said:

The longest duration ive seen so far posted for a foreigner being married to a Thai woman is 20 years ????

Yeah that's not really natural for a foreigner man is it but possible with a Thai lady.. 

[boobaa1]

"Are you married to a Thai woman – Any Snippets of Advice ."

 

Run !

[Lacessit]

Don't get married. My GF and I are 8 years into a good relationship.

Look after the good ones well, and they will look after you even better. The trick is to find a good one.

If you are over 60, fathering children is not a good idea. Teenagers when you are in your seventies, and luk kreungs to boot?

Leave 80% of your assets in your country of origin.

 

Apologies if that doesn't fit within your template; however, you were asking for advice.

[from the home of CC]

17 yrs now which gets better every year. Giving advice that encompasses all women in Thailand is impossible just as it would be in the west. Developing a good judgement of character is key world wide and if your gig never worked out then obviously your judgement is off. Also, if you are emotionally immature you're never gong to make it even if you're judgement is sound.

[Kasane]

Develop a kind, gentle, caring relationship. Don't be a doormat.

[nikmar]

With her for 14 years, married for 6 months. Learn to bite your tongue.

[overherebc]

Find one who has her own money. Let her buy the house.

Being married you're going to be miserable sometimes but at least it won't be because you had to spend all your money.

Get your nuts cut, especially if you're over 45. Don't take on anyone with kids (expensive) When you hit 60 you won't have to think about school fees etc and if you have pensions you can enjoy them.

Don't believe in the extended family idea, it's a con' job. Thais don't believe in it.

Lots more on the same lines.

????????????????

 

[GinBoy2]

It's all a bit of a loaded question.

 

I've been with Mrs G for 24 years, God help me.

 

Thing is we're close in age, similar educational backgrounds, which is typical in the West I would suggest, but less so in Thailand between Thai woman and farang men

 

A lot of the horror stories you hear are the 60 something with the 20 something. Bar Girl romances etc etc. Those tend to be quite unique to Thailand, and rather fraught with danger.

 

All that being said, most Thai women have a fiery temper when roused, I've learned the art of tuning it out, seems to have worked for me, and if you can stick it out, they mellow with age.

 

Screaming! 

Well, regardless of their age or education they seem to have a special gene for that. Watch any Lakorn and I'm never sure if its life imitated art, or art imitating life.

 

But all in all me and Mrs G as we approach our twilight years have had a pretty good life together, with all it's bumps in the road.

 

So there is no real advice other than try not (if this applies to you) to think with the 'little head' try to use the frontal lobes

[Peterw42]

 

Its the same things that make a marriage work all over the world, trust, respect, equal power/decision making/control etc.

 

I think it ends up being a different dynamic if you marry a rental girl.

 

Marrying a normal Thai girl is often like marrying a 1950s TV sitcomm wife (without the single beds). Very defined roles, you get a wife that takes on the domestic duties (even if you try and stop her). You end up being the 1950s husband, the provider, the financial security etc.

 

You can easily abuse the traditional marriage roles and end up with a maid that you have sex with, or have an equal relationship that still has some old school roles and values.

 

In the end it comes down to security for a Thai girl, not money (and dont shag her best friend, lol)

[overherebc]

14 minutes ago, Kasane said:

Develop a kind, gentle, caring relationship. Don't be a doormat.

You're taking this seriously ??

[monkeycu]

Get one with limited English, when she goes off don't worry just nod

Later when she has a better grasp of English, KEEP NODDING

Oh and do this  ????

[PatOngo]

I'd take Batmans advise!

 

[Pravda]

I will tell you one thing.

 

If you think that Thai women are submissive, quiet women that take on domestic duties like Pete above me says you are in for a world of hurt. As Thai women become more independent and not depend on men for income they are about 100 times more feminazis then what you would encounter "back home" in the west.

 

Just my observation. Others will disagree, but ask any moneyed Thai woman if they need some Farang schmuck stinking up their house and it will be a resounding no. Again, speaking from the personal experience ????

 

 

[scorecard]

35 minutes ago, from the home of CC said:

17 yrs now which gets better every year. Giving advice that encompasses all women in Thailand is impossible just as it would be in the west. Developing a good judgement of character is key world wide and if your gig never worked out then obviously your judgement is off. Also, if you are emotionally immature you're never gong to make it even if you're judgement is sound.

"Giving advice that encompasses all women in Thailand is impossible just as it would be in the west."

 

Best comment this year, human beings are individuals, case by case.

 

[OneMoreFarang]

I have a Thai girlfriend for many years and we are happy together most of the time. But I never married her.

She wants that I marry her but as far as I see there is no upside to that legal procedure.

Don't marry! And be happy.

And if you are not happy anymore she has no legal right to demand lots of money from you.

There are lots of other possible problems when you are married. Avoid it!

[utalkin2me]

Concentrate on one thing. Two words, first word starts with a P and second word ends with an E. Concentrate. 

[Essex Reject]

My advice is don't ask for advice on a forum full of the worlds most boring, sensible people, or you could end up like them!

[Vacuum]

1 hour ago, Whip Me Granny said:

I asked you to give any snippets of advice to other forum members who may be considering marriage to a Thai woman or have just started out down the road to married life with a Thai partner.

Everything she says, in one ear out on the other...

[GinBoy2]

4 minutes ago, Essex Reject said:

My advice is don't ask for advice on a forum full of the worlds most boring, sensible people, or you could end up like them!

Well some of us never went to Thailand for the hedonistic attractions of Pattaya, Patong  and the like. 

Me and my wife lived in Singapore before I decided Thailand was our low cost retirement destination.

 

So if that makes us boring, I'll fess up, guilty as charged.

We're just a normal couple, son, working slobs (well she is) splitting out time between the US & Thailand, and as I guess you would characterize it, living a boring life.

 

One word of caution however.

 

We can all lead the hedonistic lifestyle, but as we get older, the thought of who we want to live with, can be a whole lot different to the question who do I want to die with!

 

[pgrahmm]

23 minutes ago, Pravda said:

 

 

Just my observation. Others will disagree, but ask any moneyed Thai woman if they need some Farang schmuck stinking up their house and it will be a resounding no. Again, speaking from the personal experience ????

 

 

Maybe you should shower more regularly.....

[thaibeachlovers]

 Best advice- don't have a legal marriage. If she insists on being married have a village wedding, which you can walk away from when it all goes wrong, and it will. 50% or western marriages fail, so why would farang men think one to a Thai woman with all the cultural stuff as well will be more successful.

If one gets married legally, she has you for everything she can get out of you, and if she manages to get a child by you, you are the meal ticket for life.

 

If one does get married, never pay for property, as you can't take that with you. Only buy things that you can use, and can afford to leave behind when it all turns to poo.

 

Yes, some do succeed, but how many out of all the thousands of Thai/farang marriages?

I knew I was in trouble when I had a m'bike accident and she had to take me to hospital every day. I expected her to be happy to help her loving husband that cared for her so well, but no gratitude was in evidence, only a reluctant misery guts that HAD to do something for her husband, but not because she wanted to. Different story when she was in hospital though.

 

Marriage is a gamble anyway. Don't put yourself in harm's way more than you have to.

[roulax]

Learn to speak thai proficiently.

Most of Thai girls learn to speak decent english as they meet a foreigner, but there are always gaps in communication and big misunderstandings linked with cultural difference.

Mastering both partners languages will help you out big time.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, Whip Me Granny said:

So I’m now wondering how long other forum members here have been married to their Thai partners

Most guys who marry a Thai lady are over 50 at the start.

Very few guys make 70 in Thailand, so 20 years is about as good as it gets.

[Odysseus123]

During a lifetime delicately poised between good and evil I have never whipped me granny..

 

Altho' my best mate in school went by the unusual moniker of Marquis de Sade.

[zhounan]

The problem is NOT citizenship, religion, race and so on, the question is Ethics, Behavior, Values.

The modern society is globalized and the Anglo-American civilization has the dominance. The result of this fact is behavioral and psychological homogenization, so you can find the same nihilism in Western or Eastern societies, Bad Values there and here, Bad and Honest girls everywhere.

So the secret is to select carefully your partner, know her very well (moreover her family problems) before get married. 

[KhunKenAP]

I have been married by paper to my Thai wife for 18 years. Been together for almost 20 years.

 

No secret to a happy marriage, except to pick the right one. Not the one that always wants money.

 

Whether in the West or in Thailand, marriage can be difficult. You both need to continually work on it. I was married for 29 years to my Canadian wife, but we over the years drifted apart. No fault to either of us, but lesson learned is communicate, know when to say sorry, even if you think your right, and try not to escalate issues when in the long run they are meaningless.

 

With the right wife in any culture they and you must be able to forgive when you make a mistake, which we all do.

 

In my opinion a Thai woman (not the gold digger) is the best wife to have across all the cultures. They know how to take care of their man in all ways.

 

 

 

 

[4MyEgo]

It's the roll of the dice, married mine 12 years ago, met her in a bar in Phuket of all places, yes she was a "bar girl", a "prostitute", a "whore", and I am humble & grateful to have met her and to be in her gracious presence daily.

 

I have never been happier in my life, we clicked from the day we met, she came back with me to Australia for 9 years and literally raised my 8 year old daughter from another marriage at the time, while I worked, my daughter is now 22 and has the utmost respect for her, still calling her mum, and she lives with her biological mum back in Australia.

 

From my experience and opinion of woman in my pursuit of happiness, and I have met a few, been in a few relationships too.

 

It all boils down to them wanting to love you unconditionally, i.e. acceptaning you for who you are, visa-versa, not someone they want you to be, or you them, know each others roles in the relationship and sticking to them, have patience, have respect for one and other, be open and not afraid to talk about anything, even if it's about her family, have barriers, she must not be possessive, not show jealousy and be open minded about you and herself, jealousy and possessiveness are two evils that do not fit into my marriage. 

 

They should also respect what you own if you have more than them and be undemanding, you should also only be willing to invest no more than 10% of your worth if you are taking on the roll of the supporting husband, the rest can be willed to them if they are worthy of it.

 

Like I said in my opening, it's the roll of the dice, 

 

 

[colinneil]

My snippet OP, be honest with your wife, respect her, compliment her, trust her.

Many people married do not trust their partner, want to know where they have been, who with, check their partners phone etc.

I never touch my wifes phone, she the same, never go in my wifes bag, she never touches my wallet.

The very small insignificant things, like telling her you love her, good night my darling, good morning my darling, we do this every day.

My wife can come and go as she pleases, if she wants to tell me where she is going/has been, up to her, i never ask.

We have been married 8 years, for over 5 years she has done almost everything for me, the things i am no longer able to do.

Fantastic, caring, loving wife, i am a lucky man.