Many members go on about how quiet it is living in an Issan village, no way.

Yesterday evening the house water pump packed up, after 8 years.

Ok i will sort things in the morning, got off my bed, into my chair  !!!! Crack !!! Oh bugger, cross member below had snapped ( second 1 in a year).

Wife organizes spare chair, get me on my scooter, i will go see the man, go Global get a new pump, off i go, spoke to my fix it man, got new pump, came home.

New pump fitted, wife starts screaming, what the hell, supply pipe below kitchen sink, has burst, oh s++t, off i go get a new pipe, get home fix it, meanwhile madam is sitting stuffing her face with som tam, wheres my lunch, i not make anything for you, you do yourself.

Life sucks, then you die! ????

Your wife's obviously hinting you need to go on a diet.

Derogatory remark removed.

At least the dog was not poisoned again!

Your wife is clearly a considerate lady. In not making your lunch she was probably thinking that any thing warm may be cold by the time you have fixed everything that was broke;  or she did not want to interrupt your work and annoy you;  or perhaps she thinks you need to diet a little or; any combination of the above  ????????

Guess what, i just said to my wife, to hell with this, im going to bed.

No bloody electric, enough to drive me back to drink.

Well done! Cranky old bugger!!!! ????

Just now, colinneil said:

Guess what, i just said to my wife, to hell with this, im going to bed.

No bloody electric, enough to drive me back to drink.

Sod's Law is just that sometime, sod's law.

2 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Guess what, i just said to my wife, to hell with this, im going to bed.

No bloody electric, enough to drive me back to drink.

Be careful with the word HELL!! Immigration will soon visit you....

Must be the heat something drops to bits almost daily in my gaff a magnifying mirror I've had for 15 years yesterday fell off the wall leaving the carcass and suction cups still firmly attached the glue holding the mirror melted today the central locking on the car refuses to lock or unlock ????  

Nearly killed myself twice yesterday but thankfully made it through the day before number three turned up.

 

First , I decided to give the bathroom a thorough clean as it was looking a bit grubby and smelly. On with the marigolds and out with the vixol. Halfway through I thought it would go quicker if I used bleach as well. I forgot that the resultant chlorine gas can be fatal. Staggered out of the bathroom onto the balcony in the nick of time coughing my lungs up.

 

Later in the afternoon I was making shepherds pie and turned the oven on in advance whilst I mashed the spuds and topped the mince. Opening the oven to put in the pie I saw no flame and smelt no gas. Turned my head away and turned the self igniting nob again. The resultant bang sent a huge flame out of the oven , woke the wife and started the four dogs barking. Close shave that one.

1 hour ago, colinneil said:

meanwhile madam is sitting stuffing her face with som tam, wheres my lunch, i not make anything for you, you do yourself.

This is the woman in your interview you claim is the greatest wife in the world and how happy you are and she takes care of everything?

Sounds like she is rather selfish to me.

Seems sad.

Hope you finally got something to eat...

15 minutes ago, Denim said:

Nearly killed myself twice yesterday but thankfully made it through the day before number three turned up.

 

First , I decided to give the bathroom a thorough clean as it was looking a bit grubby and smelly. On with the marigolds and out with the vixol. Halfway through I thought it would go quicker if I used bleach as well. I forgot that the resultant chlorine gas can be fatal. Staggered out of the bathroom onto the balcony in the nick of time coughing my lungs up.

 

Later in the afternoon I was making shepherds pie and turned the oven on in advance whilst I mashed the spuds and topped the mince. Opening the oven to put in the pie I saw no flame and smelt no gas. Turned my head away and turned the self igniting nob again. The resultant bang sent a huge flame out of the oven , woke the wife and started the four dogs barking. Close shave that one.

A close shave, Grommet.

Well at least you know how to remove your stubble instantly.

Just now, bkk6060 said:

This is the woman in your interview you claim is the greatest wife in the world and how happy you are?

Sounds like she is rather selfish to me.

Hope you finally got something to eat...

Well mate normally i do the cooking, but due to having a busy morning fixing things, no time.

Also we all know what Thais are like regarding som tam, nothing but nothing must interfere with that.

I made myself a great BIG bacon butty.

1 minute ago, bluesofa said:

A close shave, Grommet.

Well at least you know how to remove your stubble instantly.

And eyebrows.

6 minutes ago, Denim said:

And eyebrows.

Aha, instant novice monk with the aid of a "self-igniting nob".

13 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Well mate normally i do the cooking, but due to having a busy morning fixing things, no time.

Also we all know what Thais are like regarding som tam, nothing but nothing must interfere with that.

I made myself a great BIG bacon butty.

Butter or no butter Colin? I always butter my bacon buttys.

25 minutes ago, Traubert said:

Butter or no butter Colin? I always butter my bacon buttys.

Why do you think the cross members on my chair keep breaking?

Butter and lashings of it, delicious.

5 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Why do you think the cross members on my chair keep breaking?

Butter and lashings of it, delicious.

Believe it or not mate, there are philistines out there who don't.

1 hour ago, colinneil said:

Why do you think the cross members on my chair keep breaking?

Butter and lashings of it, delicious.

There,s plenty of cross members on this forum from time to time Col....

1 minute ago, petermik said:

There,s plenty of cross members on this forum from time to time Col....

also a lot of bent ones ????????

1 hour ago, geoffbezoz said:

also a lot of bent ones ????????

speak for yourself....I,m not "bent"...but my boyfriend certainly is   

2 minutes ago, petermik said:

speak for yourself....I,m not "bent"...but my boyfriend certainly is   

Sounds like a pain in the arse.

1 hour ago, colinneil said:

made myself a great BIG bacon butty.

Phew that was a relief Col' if you had said a doner kebab you're reputation amongst the flock might have diminished abit .. 

5 hours ago, bluesofa said:

Your wife's obviously hinting you need to go on a diet.

She's run out of chairs.....555

4 hours ago, sammieuk1 said:

Must be the heat something drops to bits almost daily in my gaff a magnifying mirror I've had for 15 years yesterday fell off the wall leaving the carcass and suction cups still firmly attached the glue holding the mirror melted today the central locking on the car refuses to lock or unlock ????  

Come on! U guys ought to have been here long enough to know that its just a mischievous or malevolent Thai ghost! Just get the local Buddhist witch doctor in to chant for a month or 2. That will sort it......555.

4 hours ago, Denim said:

Close shave that one

...Did it burn the hair off too?

I made myself a great BIG bacon butty.

 

OMG I haven’t had one of those in years. Crispy bacon, dip the bread in the pan, tomato sauce....

Mum used to make them for me on a Friday as a treat when my Beano and Dandy was delivered.

 

Sorry, out of context with your post, shame about the pump...but bacon butties....come on ????

4 hours ago, bkk6060 said:

Sounds like she is rather selfish to me

.....Just traditionally Thai then! Methinks, with a few exceptions, that its the cultural norm.