Sin Sod - who here got married without paying and what makes it not apply?

[Janner1]

On 10/4/2019 at 2:37 PM, sunnyboy2018 said:

A dowry system, right or wrong has NOTHING to do with cattle or buying people. Traditionally its viewed as security for the wife against death or seperation of the husband. 

The sin sod is given to her mother who promptly spends it, very few Thai have any concept of saving for a rainy day or anything else for that matter, and it is widely accepted by the family that if the marriage ends by death or divorce the daughter can always return to the bar or massage shop or whatever she was doing prior to marriage.

Give a Thai 10baht and he /she will spend 20baht because to them money is for spending as quickly as possible.

[NOWHERE]

17 minutes ago, Janner1 said:

The sin sod is given to her mother who promptly spends it, very few Thai have any concept of saving for a rainy day or anything else for that matter, and it is widely accepted by the family that if the marriage ends by death or divorce the daughter can always return to the bar or massage shop or whatever she was doing prior to marriage.

Give a Thai 10baht and he /she will spend 20baht because to them money is for spending as quickly as possible.

Mine must be non traditional, saves every cent for a rainy day. 

And everyday has been filled with sunshine. 

[Andycoops]

Wife's parents died when she was still at school.

As I was paying for a 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom, 2 story house, pickup etc it was deemed unnecessary. 

[luk AJ]

Everyone I know who married in Thailand displayed sinsot. And everyone I know who married in Thailand had it returned after the ceremony. This has been going on for 20 years. It is a ritual, that's all.  If you are "paying" sinsot, refuse.
 
 

You probably mean, everyone you know who married were foreigners? I know for a fact that locals do pay sin-sot and don’t get it returned.


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[taninthai]

Can’t be bothered to read the whole thread,,,never paid sinsod when I married,no problem with people paying sinsod but if the money is not returned to you and your wife after the ceremony you have been taken for a fool and scammed

[Hanuman2547]

Married my Thai wife in the USA back in 1982.  She was a graduate student at the time.  There was no sin sot paid as it was just a small wedding with mostly my family in attendance.  

[transam]

I didn't pay because she was a divorcee. But, sin sod is alive and well regarding Thai folk. Whether the payment is given back after the ritual is solely between the parties involved...

[HHTel]

3 hours ago, luk AJ said:

You probably mean, everyone you know who married were foreigners? I know for a fact that locals do pay sin-sot and don’t get it returned.


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Completely agree with that.  I've been to several Thai weddings and AFIK sinsod in a Thai wedding is never returned.  My stepdaughter married a Thai.  She was living with her grandmother and sin sod was paid (10 baht gold) paid to her grandmother, the same woman who took from me but gave it back the following day.

To amend an earlier post, it seems to be for show in a 'farang' wedding but not a Thai one.

 

[soalbundy]

On 10/4/2019 at 8:37 PM, sunnyboy2018 said:

A dowry system, right or wrong has NOTHING to do with cattle or buying people. Traditionally its viewed as security for the wife against death or seperation of the husband. 

Traditionally maybe, in reality it is extra unearned cash for the parents to p1ss up against the wall.

[473geo]

9 hours ago, NOWHERE said:

Topic came up, then future wife said that if we married in village must pay sin sod even though her parents were dead. Apparently in her mind it was for face. She had never married or had children. We ended up marrying in Australia so no need to pay. 

At the time I was a bit skeptical about the practice but as it didn’t eventuate I gave it no more thought. But in hindsight I would have paid any amount to secure the relationship I now have with my best mate. 

Yep, I doubt I could even afford the deposit on the value my hard working charming wife contributes to my life, and the lives of our children - if indeed the value is even quantifiable in Baht

 

Those talking about 'buying a wife' have no clue

[otherstuff1957]

A bit off-topic, but when I got married my Thai boss asked me how much Sinsot I was paying.  When I said zero baht, he smiled and shook my hand! ????

[thaibeachlovers]

On 10/5/2019 at 8:35 PM, Just Weird said:

There's another one, well done you!  Amazing how many Thaivisa members always make the perfect choices, when all the others get it so wrong, isn't it?

 

How much more land in Thailand does she own than you do in Thailand?

LOL. If he's not a Thai he owns zero land, though I don't know if someone that becomes a Thai can own land or not. Perhaps he became a Thai.

[thaibeachlovers]

18 hours ago, 473geo said:

Yep, I doubt I could even afford the deposit on the value my hard working charming wife contributes to my life, and the lives of our children - if indeed the value is even quantifiable in Baht

 

Those talking about 'buying a wife' have no clue

We have as much a clue as those with the saffron tinted glasses that choose to wai, give loads of sin sod without getting it back, and think Thais are all peaceful happy people that never get angry in public.

 

Generally when people pay money they get something in return. In a wedding the farang pays sin sod and in return gets a wife. Money= purchase. 

Perhaps some just like to give loadsacash away for fun.

My first (western ) partner's mother would not have expected me to fork out cash in exchange for her blessing.

[thaibeachlovers]

21 hours ago, HHTel said:

it seems to be for show in a 'farang' wedding but not a Thai one.

Yeah, because they know that most farangs will walk away rather than pay loads of cash for a non virgin. The riches for most Thai families with farang SILs, BILs roll in after the wedding is over.

[Vacuum]

On 10/4/2019 at 1:23 PM, RichardColeman said:

owns far more land than I do

That would be easy...  555

[thaibeachlovers]

22 hours ago, taninthai said:

Can’t be bothered to read the whole thread,,,never paid sinsod when I married,no problem with people paying sinsod but if the money is not returned to you and your wife after the ceremony you have been taken for a fool and scammed

Sin sod was paid for a virgin. How many farang men pay it for a virgin these days?

555555555555555555555555555

[bert bloggs]

I paid for the wedding,mind you it was only a registry office one in the UK .

[LM405]

Before my wife and I got married, I brought this sin sod question up. Her parents did not ask for any money and neither did my wife, "it's just not right," they said and it doesn't make them look good as Thais coming from the Isaan region. All the parents asked for was that I treat my wife good and that we live happy. Although my wife is educated, her parents come from very poor backgrounds and I've never had any money issues with them.

 

On the other hand, I see numerous of guys moving to Isaan specifically the province I live in and having to go through the whole sin sod deal. I guess it depends on the wife and the family members.

[473geo]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

We have as much a clue as those with the saffron tinted glasses that choose to wai, give loads of sin sod without getting it back, and think Thais are all peaceful happy people that never get angry in public.

 

Generally when people pay money they get something in return. In a wedding the farang pays sin sod and in return gets a wife. Money= purchase. 

Perhaps some just like to give loadsacash away for fun.

My first (western ) partner's mother would not have expected me to fork out cash in exchange for her blessing.

I'm always a bit wary of FOC ????

[Monomial]

On 10/6/2019 at 7:57 AM, luk AJ said:

You probably mean, everyone you know who married were foreigners? I know for a fact that locals do pay sin-sot and don’t get it returned.


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Actually, no. I don't know any single person who has married in the last 20 years in this country, Thai or foreigner, and not had the sinsot returned. I've been to dozens of village ceremonies. If there are villages in Thailand who don't follow this trend, I don't know where they are. Based on my experience they must be the exception rather than the rule.

[DJ54]

I gave 200,000 and balance paid in a year would be given if no significant issues or wife thought playing with other fellas was a good idea... didn’t make it 1 year. 3 years later still living under

same roof with minimal perks...

[luk AJ]

 
Actually, no. I don't know any single person who has married in the last 20 years in this country, Thai or foreigner, and not had the sinsot returned. I've been to dozens of village ceremonies. If there are villages in Thailand who don't follow this trend, I don't know where they are. Based on my experience they must be the exception rather than the rule.

You live in Thailand right? Most Thai-Thai marriages (if not all) involve a sin-sot which is not paid back.


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[thepanom]

I married twice to a Thai women,the first was married before the second never, in both cases nobody ever talked about sinsod

[Kurtf]

On 10/5/2019 at 11:18 PM, The Fat Controller said:

@Kurtf that just goes to show you have no idea of Thai wedding culture.

I definitely know the difference between culture and prostitution. Paying money to anyone (relatives) for the pleasure of my wife’s company is turning her into a prostitute. I have friend that married a Thai lady and she makes him send money to her parents every month. To me she is just prostituting herself as a way to take care of her parents. JMHO

[Crossy]

On 10/7/2019 at 9:14 AM, bert bloggs said:

I paid for the wedding,mind you it was only a registry office one in the UK .

 

Ditto. I also paid for the Thai interpreter. She was sourced by my dad chatting up the checkout lovelies in Aldi.

 

[jastheace]

10 hours ago, Crossy said:

 

Ditto. I also paid for the Thai interpreter. She was sourced by my dad chatting up the checkout lovelies in Aldi.

 

yep, they're the best. some now doing sushi counters in sainsbury's. love having a quick 'w'dee' with them.

why are they so much sweeter out of Thailand ?

[red59]

My wife and I got married in the US where we met and where we live. It never came up!

 

 

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[NanLaew]

On 10/10/2019 at 3:55 AM, jastheace said:

yep, they're the best. some now doing sushi counters in sainsbury's. love having a quick 'w'dee' with them.

why are they so much sweeter out of Thailand ?

[TSF]

I married a TG years ago, we're long divorced now. She was a village gal from rural Udon Thani, she'd previously had a Thai hubby and had 3 kids with him, when I met her she worked a bar down South. We had a Buddhist wedding in her village and after that an amphur wedding in BKK. At the village wedding I put up 30,000 THB which was passed around on a silver plate for the locals to gawk at. Afterwards the entire amount was returned to me. I clearly knew that a Thai woman who has had 3 kids and worked a bar doesn't get a sin sot, so it was just a nice gesture on my part to give my wife and her family some face.

[Kurtf]

On 10/5/2019 at 11:18 PM, The Fat Controller said:

@Kurtf that just goes to show you have no idea of Thai wedding culture.

No. Actually what it means is I was smart enough to marry a Thai woman with a bachelors degree and do it in America. Her family as well as mine had NOTHING  to do with us getting married.