I'm not talking about the younger generation. And I'm talking about the ones you've been with past the honeymoon phase. 

 

They just don't express gratitude in away way...verbally. 

 

Sure actions speak louder than words and if cooking and cleaning is an expression of gratitude and love than they might as well be singing "thank you" all day long...but is it though? I mean, I feel they do it because they've just been programmed to do it and there is not much in the way of freewill there. Sort of like supporting the family...they do it roboticaly. 

 

Now this could be just the ones I am (been) with. But I'm discovering that many traits that I thought where unique to the one I was with turned out to be traits shared with the entire tribe. So now I'm trying to figure out if this is one of them. 

 

Thoughts? 

 

My wife always thanks me..... for fxxxking things up

I am of the opinion that you do not receive verbal gratitude because they have come to expect your generosity and thoughtfulness as a matter of everyday living...

 

How quickly they forget from whence they came.

My girlfriend said thank you many times. Even after years together.

And my ex-wife still says thank you to this day.

25 minutes ago, timendres said:

My girlfriend said thank you many times. Even after years together.

And my ex-wife still says thank you to this day.

Look, you've got to make up your mind and stop shagging one of them.

 

2 minutes ago, donnacha said:

Look, you've got to make up your mind and stop shagging one of them.

That is what the new girlfriend keeps telling me.

My wife, her mother, and her sisters all say thank you when appropriate. This has been the case for over 20 years.
 

1 hour ago, Puchaiyank said:

I am of the opinion that you do not receive verbal gratitude because they have come to expect your generosity and thoughtfulness as a matter of everyday living...

 

How quickly they forget from whence they came.

 

Those ingrates should worship the ground !!

 

4 minutes ago, Curt1591 said:

My wife, her mother, and her sisters all say thank you when appropriate. This has been the case for over 20 years.
 

 

Those ingrates should worship the ground !!

 

I did a lot of work on the family home, but none of the family thanked me. When I complained to my wife all she had to say was that they never asked me to to do it.

Much later they did ask me to wire up an new extension they had built, which I did ( I never asked for, nor expected financial reward for what I did ), and did some plumbing work they asked me to do but they still never said thank you. Such a small word, and costs nothing, but never said by them or my wife.

 

Not that it's a purely Thai thing. Few people show any gratitude in my experience.

One thing people don't get is this:

They don't thank you, they thank Buddha

When you come along the girl believes that Buddha has facilitated the whole thing and you are just the vehicle it arrives in.

They have been praying since kids and you are the fruits of their labour

Remember that and the mindset behind it and you won't go far wrong

2 hours ago, Elizway said:

Thoughts? 

I think you think too much!

1 hour ago, timendres said:

My girlfriend said thank you many times. Even after years together.

And my ex-wife still says thank you to this day.

Does she thank you for the divorce settlement? Lol.

I noticed years ago they never say sorry or excuse me, 

Just you

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I did a lot of work on the family home, but none of the family thanked me. When I complained to my wife all she had to say was that they never asked me to to do it.

Much later they did ask me to wire up an new extension they had built, which I did ( I never asked for, nor expected financial reward for what I did ), and did some plumbing work they asked me to do but they still never said thank you. Such a small word, and costs nothing, but never said by them or my wife.

 

Not that it's a purely Thai thing. Few people show any gratitude in my experience.

Next time tell them you cant do it because you dont have a work permit

44 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Not that it's a purely Thai thing. Few people show any gratitude in my experience.

Maybe it's not a Thai thing but it's always the same matter. If they can withdraw from your wallet or their business relies on getting paid from you they are nice, smiling and thankful, once they realize you are not anymore a cash cow or you will never be for a number of reasons, you will be worth less than a piece of s**t to their eyes. And not referring just to sentimental relationships.

 

Just one little recent example : I have been paying regularly my landlord for 5 years, never one single problem, not even one delay, the house it's even better than it was. Used to renew contract every year. This year due to coronavirus situation I had to leave the house just 1 month before the end of the contract. One month. After 59 months of payments. The landlord, after making sure I paid all utilities and left keys, stopped all communications withholding 100% of security deposit and didn't even want to meet me after smiles and presents for 5 years.  ???? 

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I did a lot of work on the family home, but none of the family thanked me. When I complained to my wife all she had to say was that they never asked me to to do it.

Much later they did ask me to wire up an new extension they had built, which I did ( I never asked for, nor expected financial reward for what I did ), and did some plumbing work they asked me to do but they still never said thank you. Such a small word, and costs nothing, but never said by them or my wife.

 

Not that it's a purely Thai thing. Few people show any gratitude in my experience.

Being that my bother-in-law isn't mechanically inclined, I fix many of the "family" things for which I have the time, tools, knowhow and/or inclination. I am always thanked, often taken out for a great meal. 

With my Thai relatives, I have been very thankful for their overwhelming generosity.

When I went in for a million baht medical procedure, each and every one of them, individually, offered to pay. At the time, unbeknownst to them, I was fully insured. 

Many people worry about problems occurring between partners from different ethnic cultures. I believe there will be more problems between partners from different financial cultures. 

People often reciprocate, so I would ask, how often does the OP say thank you to anyone ? 

 

I have always had a "thank you" from any of my Thai family from 4 -74  at the appropriate time, and I have always said it to them too.

Thank f@## I'm single...

Thinking about it, the "thank you" isn't used much here, I have never heard "thank you" at any checkout by locals, only me....????

Mrs.Trans only uses it when I fix something, that's after I have pointed out that I fixed it...????

They probably just disrespect you. 

 

 

saying a thank you is meaningless for a Mrs, as what you have just done for - is Expected

 

Besides what Boss would say thank you, to a slave? 

 

the other thing is I get told off, if I do something 'helpful' if I hadn't been Ordered to do 'it' in the first place... 

"I didn't Order you to do dat" is apparently more satisfying for the boss to output... but really is just bosses easiest excuse, to avoid having to say the 'thank you'

from my experience it is just not part of the culture/etiquette - the thank you is assumed. If you treat someone to dinner, of course thank you, it does not need to be expressed in words...

 

After my wife spent time in USA, she learned that it is part of our culture and that it sounds good and makes Westerners happy, so she says "thank you so much," when dealing with Westerners... w/me it is off and on but I understand it is just a cultural difference.. 

9 minutes ago, transam said:

I have never heard "thank you" at any checkout by locals

if you are talking about supermarket or Big C - they do "wai" - - right? 

1 hour ago, ChipButty said:

they never say sorry or excuse me, 

not in English anyway... when appropriate, if someone bumps into me, they say 'kher torht' - - do you have enough Thai to know this? 

7 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

if you are talking about supermarket or Big C - they do "wai" - - right? 

Not customers, no...Staff do, they are instructed to....????

Please & thank you are used in our house.....In extended family thank you is used a lot more often than any kind of a please = they're more direct....

I've found that most of the Thai gals I'd spent time around used a thank you expression......

My wife from day one up until today....

Our 2 daughters the same = one exhibits real gratitude in her daily living/actions / the other - better check your pockets to see what's left after her thank you = 100% slacker/taker & not easy to be around.....Both raised the same.....1 giver/1 taker.....

2 minutes ago, transam said:

Not customers, no...Staff do, they are instructed to....????

yes, - - cashiers are instructed to... so, who are you complaining about? why would another customer in a store thank you? do you walk around stores thanking other customers? 

Just now, kenk24 said:

yes, - - cashiers are instructed to... so, who are you complaining about? why would another customer in a store thank you? do you walk around stores thanking other customers? 

Let me start again.......If I am in a queue at any store, I have never heard a local say thank you to staff when given their change, never. .......????

 

Maybe listen for the word "Ka"    

 

please and thank you are covered by Ka or Khrap, not usually said at say a check out, or petrol station, or in any shop.  It's a Thai thing I'm told by Mrs P.