I'm feeling like boss is taking advantage of my Fiance.

[Elkski]

I need your opinion.    Its not a life or death matter but it seems to  be a Western vs Thai thinking  issue so I thought I would ask for some advice here.  

Fiance has worked for same business  for 20 years. I dont think she makes enough salary but that is not the matter here. 

The business was located 100 meters from her building until  last week.  For years she has went to unlock the doors and turn off the alarm for the cleaning  crew about 1.5 hours before actual work time.  She has received an extra 2500 baht  a month for this.   She even does it on her day off or even if she is staying in condo when I visit, unless she has the man who locks up at night do it for her.  They cover for each other when on vacation.  

Just last few days  the business has moved to a new location.  Now it is  1 km away.  10 min walk each way, maybe 25 min round trip.   Motorcycle taxi would be 10-20 baht  each  way.   I dont like her using motorcycle taxi because of road dangers in Thailand.  Boss offered her 500 baht more to continue to unlock.   Of course she didn't ask for more.  Maybe she doesn't use math to make decisions like I do? 

Yesterday she decided its best to just stay at work the extra hour in the morning rather than returning to her place.

So now she is leaving 1:20 minutes early @ 7:00 .  Getting to work at 7:10.  Then not punching the clock until 8:30. I ahould add sje commonly works until 7 pm but does work on hourly basis.. in this morning  wasted time She can eat or relax but she can't exercise,  continue her English  lessons on the web,  or talk  to me , for an extra hour each day.  This means boss pays less than  an extra 20 baht per day. 3000 baht for every day of month.  Yes businesses is open every day except holidays. 

I thought the  new building would relieve her of this unlocking duty.   I can unlock my rental  property from anywhere in the World with wifi.  <deleted>?  I was quite angry to learn she is still being asked to unlock the newly renovated  20-50 million baht remodeled space for a measly 500 baht extra.  I resent this new wasted 70-80 mins each day.  Plus knowing how she likes to sleep in.  I told her she needs to ask boss for 7500 baht extra or forget it.  I even  threatened to email  her rich  boss and give him my mind. She says she would have to quit if I emailed him.  Face issue. 

"She is grateful for him. Happy to do this."  She refuses to negotiate because it's not a thai  thing?  She says this is a difference between thai and western man thinking.   

Sorry this is so long.  I know its trivial  but I feel a man is taking advantage of my woman and I want to fight for  her.  Kill for her is more like it. 

 

 

Edited October 7, 2020 by Elkski

[saakura]

Yes, i agree, this could be because of the difference between thai and western man thinking. She is an adult, let her sort it out unless she asks for your opinion or help.

[2 is 1]

She has get really good extra salary for only open door! Dont know what kind job she do , but you know salary's here? Minimum little over 8000 bth ! Here you can't f whit boss, there is many who happily take that job! Good even get something from "extra" job!

[chickenslegs]

Seems to me that her boss does not really appreciate her loyalty and hard work, and I can understand your desire to help her.

 

However, she's a grown woman and should be left to make her own decisions.

 

IMHO

Edited October 7, 2020 by chickenslegs

[impulse]

If she's still got a job and no massive pay cut due to Covid, I'd leave it alone.

 

 

[Elkski]

2 is 1. I think you  are Thai?  Thanks for your and everyone's opinion.   

She did have month off at 1/3 salary    maybe month of 1/2 salary but now i think full  salary .  

 

So she now makes about 100 baht extra to go unlock door.  Maybe there are many others who would do this.  But first off they would need ro live close by in expensive Thonglor or it would not be a good deal.  Secondly her boss doesn't even trust the cleaning crew or security guard to unlock the door.  

No other employee lives so close.  I see she has power to bargain for more.  I would be happy if she didn't have this extra  job.  I would  send her 3000 of she told him no. 

 

 Why does everyone acknowledg that's the rich make too much money and do not pay their workers but yet they are unwilling to ask for more when they are justified

 I should add that I didn't mind the 2500 baht when it was only a 100 m walk each way.  That's like 75 baht  a day.  but I think the 500 baht addition now that it's one km each way is an insult and abuse on my fiance. 

This boss is a very rich man.  Just so you know he isn't struggling.    I say  play the bargaining  game for something like 7500 a month.  If he won't agree to 5500 or more tell him she will stop doing it.  

Edited October 7, 2020 by Elkski

[ChaiyaTH]

2500 to just unlock and open the door is a very generous offer, to then now make that 3000 baht for being 1KM away is even brilliant. It seems that you are the problem here, not her boss and not her either.

 

You make it an issue for her to use a motorbike on just 1KM distance, while she could otherwise open the door each morning and be back home in 10 mins, and cash 3K baht for doing that alone. Now because of you, she decided walking back is not worth it and moto not allowed, so she loses an hour a day, because of you.

 

Also if she worked there 20 years, she is at age, if she loses this job, she is done in theory, and most of her life existed out of that work, that then will be gone too. I'd say you should stop being selfish and buy her a scoopy motorbike. 91 is just 20 baht a liter and with 1 on 15 that would be nothing in costs. Last but not least, you can also get a room near the new location lol.

Edited October 7, 2020 by ChaiyaTH

[AlfHuy]

Tell her not more to do the "open door-lock door" service and pay her, what she gets from her boss for this service.

Problem solved.

[ChaiyaTH]

To add: Actually the 3000 baht itself, could pay for the rent of a basic room near the office, or at least a big chunk of it. Insane to make this an issue, if living from a Thai perspective and Thai economy. There would be people sleeping in the office for that money.

Edited October 7, 2020 by ChaiyaTH

[Elkski]

3 minutes ago, AlfHuy said:

Tell her not more to do the "open door-lock door" service and pay her, what she gets from her boss for this service.

Problem solved.

Yes, I feel it would be worth 3,000 baht from me so she has 30 extra  hours each month to exercise, study English  and eat healthy  food.  But i also wanted to help prepare her for the real World in America if and when we get our K1 visa.  Thai people need to learn to "stand up and take their share!"  Tracy chapman

[Elkski]

2 minutes ago, ChaiyaTH said:

To add: Actually the 3000 baht itself, could pay for the rent of a basic room near the office, or at least a big chunk of it. Insane to make this an issue, if living from a Thai perspective and Thai economy. There would be people sleeping in the office for that money.

Have you priced the rent in Thonglor?  A fan room is 5000 baht.    Condors 15 000 for dumps.   Also it's not just a simple job.  This job  needs to be done at a certain  time everyday.   It requires the boss to have ultimate trust in someone.  That  is not easy to find. 

[ChaiyaTH]

2 minutes ago, Elkski said:

Yes, I feel it would be worth 3,000 baht from me so she has 30 extra  hours each month to exercise, study English  and eat healthy  food.  But i also wanted to help prepare her for the real World in America if and when we get our K1 visa.  Thai people need to learn to "stand up and take their share!"  Tracy chapman

You will regret that if it results in your wife losing her 20 year existing job. You clearly do not get the Thai (office) culture. Leave it to her and stop forcing up what you think she better been doing.

 

In fact, if she really liked to, she been studying English in the hour before work there, exercise could be done too.....

[ChaiyaTH]

3 minutes ago, Elkski said:

Have you priced the rent in Thonglor?  A fan room is 5000 baht.    Condors 15 000 for dumps.   Also it's not just a simple job.  This job  needs to be done at a certain  time everyday.   It requires the boss to have ultimate trust in someone.  That  is not easy to find. 

Yes I know the rents in Thonglor and you clearly do not know that end too well either. There are rooms that match salaries in that area too, decent and basic studio rooms from 3000 a month. You just never bothered to find one. Also you said the location only changed 1KM...

 

She is a Thai with a 20 year existing job, not a retiree wanting a 2 bedroom duplex condo from 2016.

Edited October 7, 2020 by ChaiyaTH

[jackdd]

How much does she earn per hour?

So how much would she get extra if she would just stamp in at 7am?

[ChaiyaTH]

6 minutes ago, Elkski said:

Also it's not just a simple job.  This job  needs to be done at a certain  time everyday.   It requires the boss to have ultimate trust in someone.  That  is not easy to find. 

That is exactly the point, if she suddenly refuses to do that, because some farang is thinking he knows how everyone should stand up, she is out the door.

[Elkski]

Is it against thai business culture to not accept the original offer and explain the extra time required at the new location and ask for more?   I am a fairly good poker player and I tbink she has a good basis for asking for more.   The losing is worth the risk.  Because if she asks for 7000 and boss says forget  it and will find someone else  I can send her 2500 that she was making.  But I feel its worth  a gamble to ask for more.  She won't lose her job for asking.  

[Elkski]

I also had the idea she should ask to stamp  in when she  arrives to unlock the door and turn off alarm.   I suggest she not ride a motorcycle taxi. Do i think  she always listens to me?  Hel no.  Its funny woman wants man to be leader except when they want to do it their way.   You guys all warned me to not get an over 40 woman  because they are stubborn. Set in their ways and won't listen  to man.

 

I am willing to send her the 2500 but I feel its worth  her trying to negotiate first.    My main  grief comes from the measly 500 extra  for the 30 days a month she uses an extra hour or more.   This is like 17 baht  a day  more.  Not even pay  for the motorcycle taxi. 

Edited October 7, 2020 by Elkski

[scorecard]

24 minutes ago, Elkski said:

Yes, I feel it would be worth 3,000 baht from me so she has 30 extra  hours each month to exercise, study English  and eat healthy  food.  But i also wanted to help prepare her for the real World in America if and when we get our K1 visa.  Thai people need to learn to "stand up and take their share!"  Tracy chapman

Slow down, back off, go step by step. If and when she's in the US then broach the different attitudes etc., when she can feel the differences, and she can run with it as she choses and as she learns. Her choice not yours. Your starting to come across to me as a person who wants to control his partner. Please don't do that.

[Elkski]

You think its controlling that i try to use math to point out its an extra 17 baht a day? She works  11 hour days as it is,  often skipping her lunch for the company cause.  6 days a week for 20 years  for just what I feel is mediocre pay.   I feel this extra 500 baht for an additional  30 hours a month is offensive to her.  Even if she  walks back and forth it is double the time  requirement  for 15% more benifit.   It makes sense to ask to be sble to clock in and stay there if she wishes.   She can't exercise before work.  Its Thailand  you should know you sweat  just walking. 

#1 does it hurt to ask for more?

No wonder Thailand has such a large gap between the haves and have nots and no middle  class.  

Edited October 7, 2020 by Elkski

[Keyser Soze666]

Living the dream eh. What a tragic post.

[Oceanbroker]

My opinion is to keep you Western thoughts in the West. As a visitor to simple Thailand, you need to adjust to that simple life. Isn't that the reason most of us expats are here?

[Elkski]

19 minutes ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

Living the dream eh. What a tragic post.

What do you mean tragic post? 

[Elkski]

1 minute ago, Oceanbroker said:

My opinion is to keep you Western thoughts in the West. As a visitor to simple Thailand, you need to adjust to that simple life. Isn't that the reason most of us expats are here?

Luckily I visited Thailand enough to know not to retire there.  Only reason to retire in Thailand  is if you dont have enough money or are not a 1 woman man IMHO. Our future plans  are in a cool, beautiful 4 season climate.  In Utah.    70% of this land is public.  I admit our air  is sometimes like BKK die to fires 500 miles away.  

[PatOngo]

1 hour ago, Elkski said:

Thai people need to learn to "stand up and take their share!"

Is'nt that exactly what the boss is doing?

[Kadilo]

You sound more controlling than the boss. 
 

If she’s ok with it stop imposing your will on her and what you want. 
 

It seems only you has an issue with it. 

[Jack Hna]

1 hour ago, Elkski said:

Is it against thai business culture to not accept the original offer and explain the extra time required at the new location and ask for more?   I am a fairly good poker player and I tbink she has a good basis for asking for more.   The losing is worth the risk.  Because if she asks for 7000 and boss says forget  it and will find someone else  I can send her 2500 that she was making.  But I feel its worth  a gamble to ask for more.  She won't lose her job for asking.  

If you were a good poker player how come you got so many trivial problems. She ain't complaining so what's the problem. I am sure you are not privy to all of her life. Maybe why she keeps a condo. In any event if she is not complaining mind your business she work there 20 years and it's her career not yours.

 

Get her consent to moan about her problem before you moan. If she has an issue she don't need a white knight to solve a Thai problem.

[Elkski]

2 minutes ago, PatOngo said:

Is'nt that exactly what the boss is doing?

Yes he is being businessman.   I tell my fiance  to be businesswoman.   I just feel my fiance can be doing something else more valuable to our future rather than making extra 17 baht a day.  Even if asking for the moon results in the boss finding another person to do this 3000 baht job.  I told her if he does this I will send her this much.  She is very frugal and says we need to save money for our future.  Im just perplexed by her reluctance to even ask for  more.  Her old wslk was so close and half covered by awnings in case of rain.   New walk is a flooding nightmare in rain like last week. 

[samsensam]

1 hour ago, AlfHuy said:

Tell her not more to do the "open door-lock door" service and pay her, what she gets from her boss for this service.

Problem solved.

 

good idea, take away her self respect and boost your ego by 'taking care of' (controlling) her. she's thai, she's worked for the company for years, she knows what's acceptable and not acceptable, she's an adult and able to make her own decisions. butt out and let her deal with it.

[josephbloggs]

Quote

I even  threatened to email  her rich  boss and give him my mind. She says she would have to quit if I emailed him.  Face issue. 

That's not a face issue, that's a cringing with embarrassment at her over controlling / patronising boyfriend issue  Imagine in the US if you email your American wife's boss (who she has happily worked for for 20 years) to give him a piece of your mind about something that she seems quite happy with.  How embarrassing would that be for the poor lady?  Same in Thailand.

[farang85]

She is working hard trying to make money and not treating you like a walking ATM . You should feel lucky to have her as your woman .  If you want to make her life comfortable then be a man to take her financial responsibility and  dont send her to make money if you dont like her work.

Edited October 7, 2020 by farang85