How Much Help (do you need) from Relatives At Home?

[Pilotman]

Feeling rather guilty again about the amount of help I request and need from my kids back in UK, that I never anticipated.  They don't mind at all, but I do.  Makes me feel that I can't manage my own affairs from here, but companies based in UK, and probably in many other of our Home Countries,  don't make it easy to contact them from Thailand.  Amazon is a prime  example ( sorry about the pun).  Want to cancel Prime, can't do it from here.  Want to sort of my ISA, can't do it from here.  Want to tell of a change of phone number, very difficult., deal with government departments from here, not at all easy.  Getting replacement credit and debit cards forwarded on, a pain. The kids are a valuable resource in doing all this stuff for their dear old Dad,  but I don't think they expected it to be so much. Goodness knows how expats manage who don' t have those resources in their home country.   

[CharlieH]

Pretend they are not there, you will find away to achieve what you need.

Humans are great at challenges and overcoming them.

 

I am not saying you are taking the easy option, but sub consciously that may be the case.

 

I was surprised when faced with certain challenges in that regard and when there is no one to turn to, you do find a way. As the saying goes"where theres a will there is a way"

 

Thats my experience anyway,

[Pilotman]

49 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Pretend they are not there, you will find away to achieve what you need.

Humans are great at challenges and overcoming them.

 

I am not saying you are taking the easy option, but sub consciously that may be the case.

 

I was surprised when faced with certain challenges in that regard and when there is no one to turn to, you do find a way. As the saying goes"where theres a will there is a way"

 

Thats my experience anyway,

I always try myself as a first  and many other steps, but often the kids are the last and only real option.  As I say, they don't mind at all, or say they don't. Its just me being too sensitive about involving them in my trivia when they have enough of their own,.  It must be like having a kid of their own that lives away from home.  They do say that you revert to childhood as you get older, perhaps that's it.  

Edited December 5, 2020 by Pilotman

[Andrew Dwyer]

My daughter lets me use her U.K. address as my own, checks my mail and forwarded my new credit card recently. For this service she can request unlimited loans ( usually okayed ).

 

My son has no requests from me for his assistance. For this service he can request unlimited loans ( usually okayed ).

 

 

Now wait a minute ..................... !!

[Pilotman]

16 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

My daughter lets me use her U.K. address as my own, checks my mail and forwarded my new credit card recently. For this service she can request unlimited loans ( usually okayed ).

 

My son has no requests from me for his assistance. For this service he can request unlimited loans ( usually okayed ).

 

 

Now wait a minute ..................... !!

yes.  It's in my kids best interest to keep me happy for the inevitable day when I move off to the Quantum World. Same could be said of Mrs P. 

[Lacessit]

I have a CARE package hopefully arriving from my son in Australia soon. Vegemite, shaving cream, sunblock and golf gloves. In a year's time, repeat.

I request technical assistance from my son on computer matters, we usually sort them out via LINE or Skype. While I am not computer illiterate, he is quite a few streets ahead of me.

I feel no guilt about asking for help, as I assisted him quite substantially when he bought the house he lives in.

He is caring for his mother, who has Alzheimer's. As he says, he has a vested interest in me staying healthy and compos mentis for as long as possible.

[Kwasaki]

Don't ask much of my offspring most of them come here every year and stay with us except this year of course.

 

My UK bank has my address here so they send my credit cards and debit cards here.

 

My family is quite large so some of them can't always get over so we just keep in touch all year by facebook messager.

Edited December 5, 2020 by Kwasaki

[quake]

an ISA  in the uk,  when residing full time in Thailand

says it all.

next. 

[topt]

20 hours ago, quake said:

an ISA  in the uk,  when residing full time in Thailand

says it all.

next. 

Why such a negative view?

If it was opened before he left then nothing wrong with that at all. You can even trade with it.

The only thing you are not supposed to do is add new money to it. 

 

[quake]

1 hour ago, topt said:

Why such a negative view?

If it was opened before he left then nothing wrong with that at all. You can even trade with it.

The only thing you are not supposed to do is add new money to it. 

 

yes,  you are correct. my bad.

but think you need to notify the provider that you  have become  non resident.

i'm sure most people do that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 6, 2020 by quake

[ivor bigun]

All my family have line or messenger ,talk to my daughter daily ,any thing comes to the house she either sends on or shows it to me on line ,they nearly all come over and stay ,covid has messed that up this year ,fingers crossed for next . 

its as if we are never apart ,unlike many years ago ,when there was only the phone.

[Colabamumbai]

Have to use a friend's number in Canada for TD bank security. They don't accept Thai number. 

[polpott]

Best friend does a lot for me. I use his address. Have my own room in his apartment when I visit UK and store possessions there which I don't want to bring to Thailand e.g. winter clothing. Opens my mail and sends photos of it/forwards it as necessary. Collects my prescription from the pharmacy every 8 weeks and forwards it to me every 16 weeks. Generally runs the UK part of my life. Top bloke.

 

In return I provide a room for him in my house for when he visits (regularly before Covid). Also keep tabs on his lady/ladies in Thailand and have provided non P4P contacts for him when he visits. Also do side trips with him to other parts of Thailand/S.E. Asia. I also tell him stories of my day to day life here which he normally appreciates but he hasn't been able to visit since February and no signs of when he can visit. He's also currently in lockdown and extremely peed off. Desperate to get back here. I think the tales of what a great time I'm having are beginning to pee him off so I've throttled back on them.

[PGSan]

I have very few problems dealing with my UK presence, almost entirely online except for credit card problems that need a skype-out call.  

 

I have even done property deals there using fully digitised agents and conveyancing/legal services, with only a single need for a courier service to send verified documents to the UK.  

But I do keep a lot of things going there: UK phone number, bank account, TV licence even (to verify my UK address) . . .

 

Oh!!  I had better not publicise all this too much, so please eat this comment after reading.  ???? 

[jessc]

On 12/5/2020 at 12:25 PM, Pilotman said:

Feeling rather guilty again about the amount of help I request and need from my kids back in UK, that I never anticipated.  They don't mind at all, but I do.  Makes me feel that I can't manage my own affairs from here, but companies based in UK, and probably in many other of our Home Countries,  don't make it easy to contact them from Thailand.  Amazon is a prime  example ( sorry about the pun).  Want to cancel Prime, can't do it from here.  Want to sort of my ISA, can't do it from here.  Want to tell of a change of phone number, very difficult., deal with government departments from here, not at all easy.  Getting replacement credit and debit cards forwarded on, a pain. The kids are a valuable resource in doing all this stuff for their dear old Dad,  but I don't think they expected it to be so much. Goodness knows how expats manage who don' t have those resources in their home country.   

Don't feel guilty, feel grateful and proud. There are many, many people in the world who would give anything to lean on family, or to have family lean on them. Don't lose sight of your fortune in the face of self-doubt, and be happy you raised kids who are competent to help others. Also, remember to say thank you (out loud, so they can hear you).

[PGSan]

In particular, I have never ever found anything around Amazon that cannot be done online — even delivering purchases . . . err ????  

[Pilotman]

On 12/5/2020 at 2:07 PM, Lacessit said:

I have a CARE package hopefully arriving from my son in Australia soon. Vegemite, shaving cream, sunblock and golf gloves. In a year's time, repeat.

I request technical assistance from my son on computer matters, we usually sort them out via LINE or Skype. While I am not computer illiterate, he is quite a few streets ahead of me.

I feel no guilt about asking for help, as I assisted him quite substantially when he bought the house he lives in.

He is caring for his mother, who has Alzheimer's. As he says, he has a vested interest in me staying healthy and compos mentis for as long as possible.

won't the Vegemite be confiscated and destroyed  by Customs as a threat to public health? 

[Pilotman]

21 minutes ago, PGSan said:

In particular, I have never ever found anything around Amazon that cannot be done online — even delivering purchases . . . err ????  

I've never found anything on Amazon that I want that they will ship to Thailand? 

[Pilotman]

On 12/5/2020 at 7:56 PM, quake said:

an ISA  in the uk,  when residing full time in Thailand

says it all.

next. 

I only have a one years extension, so how is that 'residing full time', unless you delude yourself into thinking it will always be permanent? 

[murraynz]

On 12/5/2020 at 2:07 PM, Lacessit said:

I have a CARE package hopefully arriving from my son in Australia soon. Vegemite, shaving cream, sunblock and golf gloves. In a year's time, repeat.

I request technical assistance from my son on computer matters, we usually sort them out via LINE or Skype. While I am not computer illiterate, he is quite a few streets ahead of me.

I feel no guilt about asking for help, as I assisted him quite substantially when he bought the house he lives in.

He is caring for his mother, who has Alzheimer's. As he says, he has a vested interest in me staying healthy and compos mentis for as long as possible.

Vegemite can be bought in many thai supermarkets.not cheap,but probably much the same cost,after your freight charge.

[Pilotman]

1 minute ago, murraynz said:

Vegemite can be bought in many thai supermarkets.not cheap,but probably much the same cost,after your freight charge.

its the Thais trying to get rid of us all by stealth 

[ICELANDMAN]

I think the children who already have a lot of problems now with this world health crisis are at least happy that we don't bring them additional problems because of our health, now these little services are also a nice way to stay in touch and know that we are doing well that they don't have to worry about us old parents again.

 

I assume that the question you are asking now is also the fact that we are practically prevented from travelling internationally and this is really heavy for everyone, let's hope that next year in summer we can return to travel again

[OneMoreFarang]

On 12/5/2020 at 12:25 PM, Pilotman said:

Goodness knows how expats manage who don' t have those resources in their home country.   

A lawyer - 250EUR per hour.

 

And it's sad to see the service standard over there (in Europe). I called banks and sent them emails. Waiting, waiting, waiting and bad service. When I call K-Bank in Thailand it seems the service is at least 10 times better here. So much about the so called 1st word.

[Tonyt00]

Sometimes I need help from my son, when I have banking problems, but he really doesnt like to help, so I mostly use a friend. I hate asking for anything. 

[NightSky]

17 hours ago, quake said:

yes,  you are correct. my bad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next

 

????

Edited December 7, 2020 by NightSky

[Pilotman]

4 minutes ago, Tonyt00 said:

Sometimes I need help from my son, when I have banking problems, but he really doesnt like to help, so I mostly use a friend. I hate asking for anything. 

That's a bit sad that he doesn't want to help.  After all the bail outs my son had from his mother and me as he grew up and all the <deleted> we had to put up with during his teenage years, he's not really in a good position to refuse, although I believe he does it out of love and support, rather than duty and to save his two sisters from having to do it. .  

[BTB1977]

I use my brothers address. All my business is sent there. I gave him permission to open any and all mail. If it looks important he scans it and sends it to me. Been here 4 years. Only had to do that once.( because I wanted a printed copy for my records)Everything else I can do from here. Once a year he picks up my tax forms after I file them with my accountant back home. The old interweb is an amazing tool. 

[4MyEgo]

On 12/5/2020 at 6:07 PM, Lacessit said:

I have a CARE package hopefully arriving from my son in Australia soon. Vegemite, shaving cream, sunblock and golf gloves. In a year's time, repeat.

 

I have a question with regard to the CARE package, have customs ever pulled it up and slugged you tax on it ?

 

The reason I ask is that I am thinking of getting my daughter to send me a package with some items in it too, add to that medications that I require, I can get them here but are VERY expensive.

[4MyEgo]

On 12/5/2020 at 4:25 PM, Pilotman said:

Feeling rather guilty

 

It's normal.

 

I have a daughter back in Oz who checks my PO Box when I remind here and use a mates address for some stuff that requires an Oz address (PO Boxes) not acceptable.

 

Apart from that it's all me although I used to travel back every 12-18 months pre-Covid for a week to 10 days and would sort anything needed like information updated to bank, Centrelink for mum's affairs etc etc.

 

I do also feel guilty asking the daughter because I know she is busy with Uni and work although she doesn't mind, but if we can't depend on them for small things to assist us with, then we haven't raised them the right way.

Edited December 7, 2020 by 4MyEgo

[Andy from Kent]

2 hours ago, PGSan said:

 I have even done property deals there using fully digitised agents and conveyancing/legal services, with only a single need for a courier service to send verified documents to the UK.  

 

 

Have you tried out Docusign®?