You say she has a little boy who you adore, but I do not get the same feeling for your girlfriend - it seems she is somewhere between a chattel and a maid. Do you love her?

What was she like before you married her ? If the same, why did you marry her ? If different, ( nicer) ask yourself why.

I've been married to an Isan girl for 11 years and we live in Australia. It's been challenging for us to figure each other out, but we've got there eventually.

Like any girl, they need unconditional love. Complaining about anything to them is like sticking a knife into their heart. They want to be appreciated at all times. Be happy for the nice meals and anything else she gives you. Praise her and support her. If she feels loved, she will probably be more inclined to assist you with jobs at home when you ask nicely. Talking about enjoyable experiences you've both shared will get a good response and motivate her to help you.

Remember that your standards of cleanliness at home will most likely be higher than hers, due to your different upbringing and living standard, so be patient and she will gradually adjust.

Financially, they're poor at budgeting and tend to live day to day. Explaining how much life costs is educational to them, but if you start number crunching and going into details, she will go into cold mode and you'll get nothing you want. 

An Isan girl can be your dream come true, or your worst nightmare. It's really up to you.

4 hours ago, geisha said:

What was she like before you married her ? If the same, why did you marry her ? If different, ( nicer) ask yourself why.

Answer: Because they pretend they are different before they move in.

15 hours ago, Tingtong2mut said:

I thought at one time I might be better off with a middle aged lady, but have seen many mates have just as many problems with them. One in particular at the moment he's done the buy the house, cars thing (in her name) and just discovered the numerous daily disappearances are the result of a gambling problem. The other thing that has disappeared are the land deeds. And as everything in her name already the act is over and its "like it or lump it"

She will eventually lend money from the mafia/loan sharks, continue to gamble, and when she can't meet the daily repayments they will come and threaten her, probably do a runner to another province, where the mafia WILL find her, run again and again........... just happened to a mate of mine who has lost everything now renting a small room, on his own. 

On 4/1/2021 at 8:59 PM, Tingtong2mut said:

Well she does get 10k a week from her little business, for very little effort / hours, while I take care of her son and everything else 

Does she have to pay rent on the business+ electric out of that, if not she is way better off than me. Have you tried to ask her if she is happy, or why she is not ?

 I have lived with girls from different backgrounds from doctors, nurses, teachers, a bargirl...

 

You must be an absolute stunner.

Lived with Doctor(s), Nurse(s), Teacher(s), 1 bargirl.

 

Others try to do it the other way around. From maybe bargirl to a Dr. You go from the Doctor(s) to the bargirl.

 

Maybe the problem that's you?

You lived with so many, as you say.

Why nobody is staying or are you kicking them out.

You mention, that you are a "good" husband. Are you married to the BG?

 

Where is the mother of "your" boy?

 

Many questions.

On 4/1/2021 at 6:38 PM, simon43 said:

The best thing that I ever did for my sanity, my bank account and my happiness was to get rid of my Issan wives and buy a sex doll.... ????

Called "Dolly".

On 4/1/2021 at 7:32 PM, CharlieH said:

Seems to me the OP may be missing one important element, thats ALL the Thais she mixes with on a daily basis bending her ear ! chipping away as to why she has to work at all, why she isnt this or that etc because she has the Golden farang. It happens everywhere guaranteed ! If someone shd knows is also married to farang, you cen bet they are playing "beat the Joneses too. Seen and heard it and suffered it.

My GF was trying to convince me that "all" her friends living with germans in Germany get at least 50,000 pocket money each month. ????

 

I told her, that's 1400 EUR

A decent net salary in Germany is 2000EUR net but you have to may your house, electricity, water, gas, car, school, clothes, insurances, other taxes, food, holidays...... 

There won't be anything left over.

 

I told her: the next time, one of your "rich" friends calls or sends a message, you do straight away a video call to see that"mansion", the sports car, the pool, designer clothes etc....

 

There won't be any video call because they will come up with excuses as: no good internet, I am out jogging, I am driving etc....

 

They probably sit in a 50m2 apartment and drive a Golf ano 1995.

Probably they work in a hotel, cleaning rooms or do some massage.

 

Wake up guys, there are very little girls that rally managed the "big fish".

I told mine. If you are not happy, I can help you, packing your bags and even give you a lift to the next BTS station.

 

Quiet...... no more comment. ????

On 4/1/2021 at 8:59 PM, Tingtong2mut said:

Well she does get 10k a week from her little business, for very little effort / hours, while I take care of her son and everything else 

40k a month?

That's quite a good business. 

Free of tax.

On 4/1/2021 at 10:27 PM, BananaBandit said:

 

Have you let yourself slide recently?  I'm like 98-percent sure you said several times you were 75 kg.

Must be 75 plus VAT

On 4/2/2021 at 7:17 AM, BritManToo said:

I suspect it's more to do with living with a guy she doesn't like, but I may be wrong.

When you wake up in the morning, is she pressed against you or as far from you as possible without falling off the bed?

She sleeps on the floor, pressed against the exit door.

On 4/2/2021 at 8:17 AM, Tingtong2mut said:

Actually sleeps on top of me but I know what you mean. Like they would rather be in another country 6 feet away clinging to the opposite edge of the bed. This one is like bi polar. Affection way over the top, needy then angry and moody. I'm wondering which one is the real person or if there are 2 of them in there

There is no other option than sleeping on top of you????

thai women in a relationship do not expect to have to work....their lies your problem.You think she is grateful that you have set her up in her own business,only to make 10,000 baht a month profit?

On 4/1/2021 at 11:37 PM, Leaver said:

 

That's because of the many stupid farang that came before you actually bought them a penthouse.  Now, their sisters, cousins, daughters, nieces, friends etc expect the same, because all farang are stupid.  ????  

Maybe because they are more rich than stupid, and due to being unattractive, most likely obese, cannot score in their own country.

14 hours ago, How2 said:

 

read the book "Thailand Fever" it will answer your questions.

I read it twice when I started a serious relationship with a Thai woman several years ago. My Thai lady read it too. We are still together and happy. 

 

It's a good starter guide and has valid info but is necessarily very general. Not all, perhaps not even most Thai women and western men will closely fit the stereotypes in the book. The authors are honest and treated the subject well, but the final answers are still left as "an exercise for the reader". 

21 hours ago, Leaver said:

 

Your experience is a very common one, but with so much information out that warning you against doing what you did, why did you still do it?  Was it the "my girl is different" syndrome?  

To be absolutely honest , I have been living here 20 years now and would the last person to do such a stupid thing. Then I went back with old girlfriend from 12 years ago as I had reached 60 and thought she was the best one who could look after me. She then gave me the old script about how I had never done anything for her before and she was getting old and needed security. So after all that time off myself preaching to others about what Thai ladys are like, I somehow fell into the trap myself.

What on earth makes you think your experiences only apply to Issan women?  If I didn't know better, I would think that you must have spy equipment watching and listening to everything in my home ( which is in Chiang Rai) and using the knowledge gained to write your post. 

I've spent well over bht 5,000,000 to build her a beautiful house in her village and taken her to many countries around the world.  After 14 years together and married for 8 years, it's cost me many thousands of pounds and countless hours of work to get my wife to the UK where she's now waiting to hear about her application for UK citizenship and still nothing has changed!

10 hours ago, possum1931 said:

Maybe because they are more rich than stupid,

 

Many don't stay rich here for long if they get caught up in all the BS.  

6 hours ago, Brick Top said:

To be absolutely honest , I have been living here 20 years now and would the last person to do such a stupid thing. Then I went back with old girlfriend from 12 years ago as I had reached 60 and thought she was the best one who could look after me. She then gave me the old script about how I had never done anything for her before and she was getting old and needed security. So after all that time off myself preaching to others about what Thai ladys are like, I somehow fell into the trap myself.

 

I understand it can be difficult, but it's a phenomenon that the Thai girl says something like, "if you don't give me this or do that, I will have to go back to the bar."  So, what do guys do, they pay up.  

 

Should I ever be in such a situation, and I doubt I will, I would be saying something like, "if you go back to the bar, I'll have to go back to the bar as well, to look for someone else."  ????

 

"The bar" can work both ways.  

 

13 hours ago, Leaver said:

 

I understand it can be difficult, but it's a phenomenon that the Thai girl says something like, "if you don't give me this or do that, I will have to go back to the bar."  So, what do guys do, they pay up.  

 

Should I ever be in such a situation, and I doubt I will, I would be saying something like, "if you go back to the bar, I'll have to go back to the bar as well, to look for someone else."  ????

 

"The bar" can work both ways.  

 

I guess two alike find each other and who deserve each other. There takes two to dance tango is an old saying, and still good today as back then. 

Multicultural relationships are a challenge at the best of times. Men and women are already different enough. Now add language. Add culture. Add life experience/age/education. THEN on top of all that add economics.  It will take a LOT of effort on both sides to make it work out.  To me, the key is communications. If one of you is not relatively fluent in the others' native language there will inevitably be trouble, even given the best of intentions.  At worst a relationship that relies on Google Translate is absolutely unthinkable. 

25 minutes ago, Hanaguma said:

Multicultural relationships are a challenge at the best of times. Men and women are already different enough. Now add language. Add culture. Add life experience/age/education. THEN on top of all that add economics.  It will take a LOT of effort on both sides to make it work out.  To me, the key is communications. If one of you is not relatively fluent in the others' native language there will inevitably be trouble, even given the best of intentions.  At worst a relationship that relies on Google Translate is absolutely unthinkable. 

And also taken in to the consideration of the mix of the foreigners who settle and marry in Thailand, or bring the girls back home. 

 

I would say, I have met more originals of the expats here in Thailand, than any other place I have travelled in the world. Seems Thailand is a magnet to the strangest strangers. 

 

But in our own minds, we are the normal ones, and everyone elses is the crazy ones. Right? 

7 hours ago, Tagged said:

I guess two alike find each other and who deserve each other. There takes two to dance tango is an old saying, and still good today as back then. 

 

It's not about being "two alike."  It's about a Thai girl thinking that if she threatens to go back to the bar, the farang can be manipulated, and history shows this worked well for Thai girls over the years.  

1 hour ago, Leaver said:

 

It's not about being "two alike."  It's about a Thai girl thinking that if she threatens to go back to the bar, the farang can be manipulated, and history shows this worked well for Thai girls over the years.  

You’re history?......or are you the spokesperson for every other foreigner who has or has had a Thai partner 

1 hour ago, Leaver said:

 

It's not about being "two alike."  It's about a Thai girl thinking that if she threatens to go back to the bar, the farang can be manipulated, and history shows this worked well for Thai girls over the years.  

Given some of the stingy old fossils, and "I don't pay" young studs posting on Tvisa I expect not so much of a threat to go back the bar, rather a necessity ????????

Derogatory Troll post and responses removed.

21 hours ago, Kadilo said:

You’re history?......or are you the spokesperson for every other foreigner who has or has had a Thai partner 

 

Not my history.  Never even had a Thai girlfriend.  I'm in Thailand post retirement for a good time, not to adopt an extended Thai family in Issan and have to put up with all the BS. 

 

I may enter into a "financial agreement" with a Thai girl in the future, but the moment any BS starts she'll be shown the door. 

 

You see a lot of guys getting fleeced.  Some members have shared their experience on this thread.  I never said they ALL get fleeced.  

21 hours ago, 473geo said:

Given some of the stingy old fossils, and "I don't pay" young studs posting on Tvisa I expect not so much of a threat to go back the bar, rather a necessity ????????

 

As per the OP title.  If nothing is ever enough, perhaps they should stay in the bar.    ????

 

16 minutes ago, Leaver said:

 

Not my history.  Never even had a Thai girlfriend.  I'm in Thailand post retirement for a good time, not to adopt an extended Thai family in Issan and have to put up with all the BS. 

 

I may enter into a "financial agreement" with a Thai girl in the future, but the moment any BS starts she'll be shown the door. 

 

You see a lot of guys getting fleeced.  Some members have shared their experience on this thread.  I never said they ALL get fleeced.  

There is no doubt that some guys, as in every country, get fleeced. I can tell you the same story about what an English female did to me which would be exactly the same as what some people claim Thai women do. I could even say she played the “long game” just to add a bit of effect. 

There is also a lot of bar type talk that goes on both outside and on here and before you know it, it becomes “history shows”. 
What history actually shows is many guys have successful marriages and relationships in Thailand including Isaan. I know of many, but that is just my own observation. That is what my history shows. 

 

Its all about perspective. 

On places like TVF you mostly only get to hear about the negative experiences. 

I also doubt that “you see” a lot of guys getting fleeced. You may well hear a few of them tell you what has supposedly to them and most likely only hear their side which may or may not be accurate.  

Either way, there are good and bad women from all parts of the globe. 
You won’t hear much about the good ones as places like this tend to ridicule anyone who is a positive experience and tend to twist their story to one where she must therefore be playing the long game. 

 

Ahhh then there is always the fall back that it must be true as they read it in “Thailand Fever” or whatever best seller that have bought in to. 

 

Good luck to everyone whatever path they choose.