"Thai Women don't feel Love"

[richard_smith237]

5 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I've never understood why people that loved doing something decided they didn't like doing it anymore for no apparent reason eg I used to hang out with a group that loved going dancing, but after they got married they just stopped. Perhaps they never really loved it and were only looking for a partner, but they did seem to love dancing at the time.

I guess I'll never understand people, no matter how long I know them.

 

I used to love playing golf....  I no longer like the game !... 

 

Perhaps it has something to do with having children. I’d rather spend a Saturday or Sunday with my Wife and Son than on a Golf course.

 

I used to love going out partying with friends, to the pub, to bars, clubs etc.. I would now much prefer to go to a restaurant with friends and accompanied by my Wife and Son, they may go home earlier at my Son’s bed time and the guys carry on. 

 

Things change... If I change and want to go to the pub more often with my friends, I will do that, if I want to play golf again, I will do that. I still play football and spend time in all day tournaments etc (about once per month) otherwise football just takes up a few hours per week.. ok sometimes (most times) with a few beers afterwards !...  But its the football I enjoy, not the fact that I am away from my Wife and Son. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

Just now, ThailandRyan said:

The long Con.....perhaps

No, it wasn't that. I think it was something to do with a hook ( not a hooker ). Makes sense though, they hook a guy like a fish using sex as bait, but once he's committed too far financially, mortgage, children  etc to leave easily they think they can become the person they really are.

 

My wife did the long con on me.

[ThailandRyan]

6 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

No, it wasn't that. I think it was something to do with a hook ( not a hooker ). Makes sense though, they hook a guy like a fish using sex as bait, but once he's committed too far financially, mortgage, children  etc to leave easily they think they can become the person they really are.

 

My wife did the long con on me.

+1 on that as well.

[thaibeachlovers]

Just now, richard_smith237 said:

 

I used to love playing golf....  I no longer like the game !... 

 

Perhaps it has something to do with having children. I’d rather spend a Saturday or Sunday with my Wife and Son than on a Golf course.

 

I used to love going out partying with friends, to the pub, to bars, clubs etc.. I would now much prefer to go to a restaurant with friends and accompanied by my Wife and Son, they may go home earlier at my Son’s bed time and the guys carry on. 

 

Things change... If I change and want to go to the pub more often with my friends, I will do that, if I want to play golf again, I will do that. I still play football and spend time in all day tournaments etc (about once per month) otherwise football just takes up a few hours per week.. ok sometimes (most times) with a few beers afterwards !...  But its the football I enjoy, not the fact that I am away from my Wife and Son. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I do understand that children change things, but I was talking about BEFORE they had children, and in some cases not even getting married. I invited a girl to go to a jazz night once and she said she loved it, but she never wanted to go again ( nothing to do with me as we were still friends after ). If she didn't love it why would she say she did, and if she did love it why would she not want to go again?

 

I never stopped wanting to do the things I loved, like dancing, but when I moved to a different country the opportunity was no longer available.

[richard_smith237]

Just now, ThailandRyan said:

5 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

No, it wasn't that. I think it was something to do with a hook ( not a hooker ). Makes sense though, they hook a guy like a fish using sex as bait, but once he's committed too far financially, mortgage, children  etc to leave easily they think they can become the person they really are.

 

My wife did the long con on me.

+1 on that as well.

 

Was it a con??.... 

 

Did the female enter the relationship with the specific intention of defrauding the male from his money? or to set up some longer term security?

 

Or, is it more likely that the woman also fell in love, that the love and respect were mutual but over time feelings wained and diminished as they sometimes do in relationships?

 

Of course, when feelings change someone will feel aggrieved, when there are financial implications that feeling is obviously exaggerated. 

 

The key question: At the beginning of the relationship, was one party a cold, calculating actor/actress or did they enter the relationship because of their feelings ?... perhaps in some cases because of a combination of feelings and calculation?...  people enter relationships for a spectrum of reasons, some of them pure and honourable, some of them not so pure and honourable and sometimes those reasons change, develop, improve, worsen etc etc.. 

 

There are no hard and fast rules.... 

 

From my perspective, I had a set of rules and would only entertain a relationship with a female if:

- Her English was fluent (educated fluent not BF fluent)

- She was from a similar socio-economic-educatoinal background

- Financially independent

- Similar hobbies or had her own hobbies

- Intelligent

- Humorous

- Obvious physical attraction

- Of a similar age 

 

I suspect many females of similar status to ourselves will have similar set of unwritten rules.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

5 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

From my perspective, I had a set of rules and would only entertain a relationship with a female if:

- Her English was fluent (educated fluent not BF fluent)

- She was from a similar socio-economic-educatoinal background

- Financially independent

- Similar hobbies or had her own hobbies

- Intelligent

- Humorous

- Obvious physical attraction

- Of a similar age 

 

My wife was all of those except the last, but it didn't mean she was prepared to discuss the obvious problem between us.

Had she loved me she would ergo have wanted to save the marriage, but she didn't. The only reason she was happy at the end was when I "loaned" her a substantial sum, and after she realised the ATM was empty it was really the end.

[faraday]

8 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

My wife was all of those except the last, but it didn't mean she was prepared to discuss the obvious problem between us.

Had she loved me she would ergo have wanted to save the marriage, but she didn't. The only reason she was happy at the end was when I "loaned" her a substantial sum, and after she realised the ATM was empty it was really the end.

 How old was she?

[thaibeachlovers]

2 minutes ago, faraday said:

 How old was she?

Younger than I, but old enough to know what she was doing. Already been married before.

[richard_smith237]

29 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I do understand that children change things, but I was talking about BEFORE they had children, and in some cases not even getting married. I invited a girl to go to a jazz night once and she said she loved it, but she never wanted to go again ( nothing to do with me as we were still friends after ). If she didn't love it why would she say she did, and if she did love it why would she not want to go again?

 

I never stopped wanting to do the things I loved, like dancing, but when I moved to a different country the opportunity was no longer available.

 

People change... I know I have. I party a lot less than I used to !!! 

 

I can’t even imagine being in a crowded noisy nightclub - I’ve no idea what I used to see in it, but I do recall having greatfun at the time. 

 

I used to wakeboard an awful lot (3x per week) - I no longer do that. Yet my Wife still wakeboards and wake-surfs when she has the opportunity. 

 

Golf, horrible game, used to love it. 

 

My Wife and I used to go to the Cinema a lot, I never really liked the cinema but would go because she liked it. We used to go out for amazing high end meals... now I’m happy with a decent steak and chips !!!

 

I used to love higher end cars, now I’m happy with a Mazda !

 

Change is inevitable, in what we do and with our feelings for each other. My Wife and I have been married for 12 years, my feelings have changed, over those 12 years my respect for her has increased 10 fold after watching her develop has a doting mother and wife. She puts up with me yet seems not to even recognise she’s putting up with me...  and all round awesome lady.... 

 

One day she may wake up and not want to be with me any more, or I not want to be with her any more. I can’t imagine that happening. But if she does I won’t feel that she has cheated me or ‘gone for the long con’.... She could have married a wealthy Thai guy (there were definitely enough extremely wealthy suitors) and she settled for me, I have a decent career but by no means am I as wealthy of some of the guys her friends married. Why did she choose me?... simple answer is because I am me... I still am. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[StevieAus]

20 hours ago, ravip said:

What I meant was not to splash around ones wealth in attracting a partner - you will obviously attract one for your wealth and not to yourself, per se.

A woman (or a man for that matter) who chooses a partner for what he is and not for what he has, has a higher chance of having a successful long term relationship.

I agree

[BritManToo]

20 hours ago, ravip said:

What I meant was not to splash around ones wealth in attracting a partner - you will obviously attract one for your wealth and not to yourself, per se.

What if you have nothing to attract a woman apart from your (relative) wealth?

Should you just stay single?

Edited April 20, 2021 by BritManToo

[richard_smith237]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

What if you have nothing to attract a woman apart from your wealth?

Should you just stay single?

 

Of course not... nothing wrong in doing what you are doing and paying for company with someone who has no issue agreeing to such an arrangement. 

 

But, don’t make the assumption that all other relationship are similar because one that didn’t rely on money failed and the only relationships you had that don’t fail are the ones you are in financial control of, for that is not a relationship* but a business agreement.

 

(* relationship in terms of this subject, love).

 

 

[1FinickyOne]

5 hours ago, ThailandRyan said:

Loveless again thereafter until the cycle repeats itself.

short time/long time - past love lingers like a mist of perfume in the air... new love awaits around the corner

[ravip]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

What if you have nothing to attract a woman apart from your (relative) wealth?

Should you just stay single?

I now understand very well why many people are complaining!

Absolutely nothing wrong with the Thai people! Especially the beautiful Thai ladies. ????

[ravip]

7 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

short time/long time - past love lingers like a mist of perfume in the air... new love awaits around the corner

Someone said that nature never leaves a 'blank' space! 

[1FinickyOne]

4 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I always wondered why women who profess to love you always end up restricting the sex.

You'd think if they loved you, they'd want to please you and make you happy (sex makes most men happy).

 

A woman loves you, so you marry her, then the sex stops ................... inexplicable!

sex isn't love - it's sex... 

 

inexplicable? people change - people get bored... Bill Maher said women like shopping/buying shoes - not because they don't have shoes, they want new shoes... 

 

and isn't there an old joke - just before walking down the aisle, the groom tells the best man - I am so happy, I just had the best bj of my life!! And the bride tells her bridesmaid - I am so happy, i just gave the last BJ of my life... 

[hellohello123]

7 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

That's not just a Thai thing. None of my non Thai friends ever asked me about my life in Thailand.

in my experience, with non thai people, I get a much much much lower % of women that I have that sort of bat<deleted> boring, one way conversation , in my sample size its about 25%

[BritManToo]

Just now, hellohello123 said:

in my experience, with non thai people, I get a much much much lower % of women that I have that sort of bat<deleted> boring, one way conversation , in my sample size its about 25%

I've never been all that interested in talking to women, that's not what they're for.

Come to think of it, I'm not all that interested in speaking with foreigners either.

British English are the best people in the world.

Edited April 20, 2021 by BritManToo

[hellohello123]

6 hours ago, 1FinickyOne said:

Dear house brick... maybe juice up the level of your conversation rather than accuse them... 

 

Thai love to laugh, try having a fun conversation, not a quiz show... 

 

 

thats a fair comment

Edited April 20, 2021 by hellohello123

[hellohello123]

5 hours ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

lol

 

I might have to agree--i'll add a few

What are you doing?

Did you eat today?

Why no sleep?

hello....5 hrs pass.....

Whats your job--usually the 1st Q.

You have wife?

Do you have a thai gf?

 

Currently chatting up a thai gal in BKK..shes over 30 and an artist so has talent, but seems to be constantly painting and again , lives at home, and claims to have never kisses a male.....getting ready to say goodbye as im tiring of being the first to say hello, I said nothing for days to see if she would start the chat....still waiting......

I remember one girl, whom I sent a intro msg, that was a few lines long x 3,

 

that went soemthing like

 

me:Hey my name is Housebrick nice to meet you,

your profile is really nice, and you seem like a nice girl,

it would be great to chat with you
me: how has your day been? anything exciting?
me: I had just had one of those days where everything went wrong ????

Her: goodnight

 

1 month later

her: why you not send message? are you not interested in me?

 

I let her know what I thought.... didnt get a reply......surprise surprise

[hellohello123]

2 minutes ago, hellohello123 said:

I remember one girl, whom I sent a intro msg, that was a few lines long x 3,

 

that went soemthing like

 

me:Hey my name is Housebrick nice to meet you,

your profile is really nice, and you seem like a nice girl,

it would be great to chat with you
me: how has your day been? anything exciting?
me: I had just had one of those days where everything went wrong ????

Her: goodnight

 

1 month later

her: why you not send message? are you not interested in me?

 

I let her know what I thought.... didnt get a reply......surprise surprise

and on the opposite side of the spectrum, ive been speaking to a european girl recently,,

her first msg to me was:

"hello House brick!, nice to meet you to!  thanks for asking, I saw that you can speak XXXX language,

I know a few words, they are bla bla blah, sorry if my spelling is wrong, dont be to offended,

I hope you have a great day and dont work too hard"

what a great first message, in my personal opinion,

makes me want to actually put some effort in

 

like I said, maybe its a cultural difference or language barrier

[BritManToo]

Just now, hellohello123 said:

what a great first message, in my personal opinion,

makes me want to actually put some effort in

Would need to see the profile pictures of both girls before venturing an opinion.

If 'goodnight' is a 10, and 'Europe' is a 4, I'd probably choose 'goodnight'.

[GinBoy2]

8 hours ago, ravip said:

On the contrary, women should not feel that they want to please you and make you happy with sex - they themselves should want sex and enjoy it happily themselves.

If they are doing it solely to please the man... disaster is not far off IMHO

Applies to all women, NOT only THAI

I think this is where Britman conflates sex and love as one

 

Women age as do we all.

 

Does my my wife want sex as much as 20 years ago, No.

 

But do we still love each other? Probably more than when it was based on two rabbits in a cage.

 

It can be a sad reflection on farangs in some of the sexpot centers in Thailand, that maybe they will have had hot rampant sex well into their twilight years, but they will die alone without anyone there who truly loved them and mourns for them.

 

I'm happy with the sex life I have, but it's coupled with an intimacy that doesn't come from paying for a quick orgasm.

[BritManToo]

30 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

It can be a sad reflection on farangs in some of the sexpot centers in Thailand, that maybe they will have had hot rampant sex well into their twilight years, but they will die alone without anyone there who truly loved them and mourns for them.

I'm fairly certain my 9 year old son loves me and will mourn me.

Doubt I'll be alive when he finishes high school, might not even seem him start it.

 

Don't really need a woman to do that.

But will confess the hot rampant sex in my twilight years (in Thailand) was something not to be missed.

Who would have guessed 52-64 would (or even could) have been the best years of their life?

 

The love I've had from my son and my step-daughter have been beyond anything I ever expected. Not to mention the love (and sex) I received from a series of Thai women. It's all been great and totally unexpected.

Edited April 20, 2021 by BritManToo

[BritManToo]

32 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

I'm happy with the sex life I have, but it's coupled with an intimacy that doesn't come from paying for a quick orgasm.

I've enjoyed both, why restrict yourself?

[GinBoy2]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I've enjoyed both, why restrict yourself?

Obviously we have different outlooks on life, and that's fine none of us are the same.

 

But for me, I'm in my 60's, wife in her 50's, all the kids in their 20's and 30's priorities change.

 

We still have fun, but it's different. My youngest daughter had our first grandbaby, and I love it, and that sorta tumps everything.

 

Love can mean many things at different times in your life. My son and eldest daughter love their first nephew to death, and that fills me with joy just by itself.

 

So I understand where you are coming from, it's just we are coming from it from different sides

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

But for me, I'm in my 60's, wife in her 50's, all the kids in their 20's and 30's priorities change.

I'm also in my 60s, live-in in her early 40s, kids in their 20s and 10s, and gik in her early 30s.

In Thailand you can have it all, but at my age maybe not have it so often with the gik.

 

Edited April 20, 2021 by BritManToo

[Excel]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I'm also in my 60s, live-in in her early 40s, kids in their 20s and 10s, and gik in her early 30s.

In Thailand you can have it all, but at my age maybe not so often.

 

Not to mention that in Thailand, despite all its shortcomings, you are more likely to die with a smile on your face than say in the UK

[sagra]

From my years of personal experience, I think many (not most!) Thai women are not capable of loving. I think they can act like they love when it serves there purposes, but I think they are hardened by tough childhoods, including economically and perhaps from sexual abuse in some cases, and lost their ability to love as a defense/survival mechanism.

 

In a few relationships I have had with Thais I have been stunned to see how they seemed to be able to instantly turn off their "love"....turn off their hearts. It's just the theory I have developed from my personal experience.

 

Of course I do also feel that many Thai women can love more deeply and devotedly that most Western women (along with being way more feminine). Just my opinion.

 

 I am lucky to have a loving and fun relationship with my wonderful Thai wife.

Edited April 21, 2021 by sagra
mispelling, words accidentaly left out

[Pravda]

On 4/18/2021 at 5:16 PM, giddyup said:

That's the truth with any big age disparity, be it Thai/Falang or Falang/Falang, but does a rich guy in his 60's or 70's really care if his stunning, young trophy wife loves him or not? Might be true of wealthy women and their toy boys as well. They are just buying young flesh, not love.

 

That's what you say and people who lie to themselves. Just watch 90 fiance to see old men and women make absolute fools of themselves.