Can you live independently?

[bbko]

My Thai wife and I had a conversation about if one of us died what the other one would do (as in remarry or stay single), with a loving smile and twinkle in my eye I said "tilac if you die, I would never remarry", she started acting coy saying I was so sweet and asked if that was because I'd miss her so much, I quickly followed up with "I don't want to go through this life style anymore, I will only get short time girlfriends", 555, instant frown from her. 

Edited September 2, 2021 by bbko

[HeijoshinCool]

 

Nothing else needed....

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[thaibeachlovers]

5 minutes ago, HeijoshinCool said:

 

Nothing else needed....

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Indeed. If want unconditional love get a dog.

[HeijoshinCool]

6 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Indeed. If want unconditional love get a dog.

.

 

And building them a house is much cheaper and no paperwork......

[CloseShave]

What a beautiful doggie. Yep, you are right, have one of these and most of your concerns fade into oblivion.

I live alone and have 4 of the buggers, they're wonderful.

 

1 hour ago, HeijoshinCool said:

 

Nothing else needed....

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[ChrisKC]

Of the 12 years of separation from my Ex wife, I have lived 5 of them alone. I am capable and can do everything I need to do for everyday activities including cooking my own food. I was never bored and always could find something to do including looking for and occasionally meeting women in pursuit of a relationship which I would actually prefer, to share everything in my remaining life.

 

For the last four years I have known someone and married for three years, I am perfectly happy to be with for the rest of my life.

 

If it happened that required me to live alone again, I could easily manage, although at 76, but with perfect health and fitness, it is a comforting thought that my wife will take care of me and I know a few others who would do the same if something tragic happened.

 

 

[DJ54]

I can’t live alone... who would I yell at? The dog doesn’t like being yapped at... 

[Kwasaki]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Sorry, but hospital staff are far too busy to sit by you and hold your hand, unless you can afford one of those super expensive private hospitals. In London when doing agency I once worked in the hospital where all the lords and ladies went. Spent a day in ICU looking after one patient and there were two of us! However in the real world where most people live, nurses have many patients to look after.

Well if you ain't got nobody the hospital staff is all you get, I was just answering the question asked.

You don't have to go all so psychological about it.

[khunPer]

On 9/1/2021 at 7:02 AM, georgegeorgia said:

so my question is ,are you able to "look" after yourself or you need someone ?

is it strange to want to be by yourself and have no relationship.

how many of you actually live by yourself and have no family ?

That are very good questions to consider.

 

I have no close family left in my home country, so I'm in a way dependent of my relationships here; however, I enjoy being alone.

 

When living alone in Thailand you can still see people, and have partners, so you might not sleep alone, but it might not be the same partner every night.

 

But there are benefits with having a steady friend/partner/wife to help you, which might be a relief in many cases, both due to language and culture, sometimes a Thai can get something more easily done, than an alien. However, many lives here without a Thai partner - in the area where I live there are also numerous foreign couples - but they might need a lawyer to sort out some things, that a Thai partner could have handled equally well.

 

I lived alone for about 10 years in my home country, in a way I enjoyed it more than when living with a girlfriend. I've also stayed alone in Thailand - well, you normally always have an option for not sleeping alone, if you choose the right destination, which is a major difference from a Scandinavian home country - and it's actually very easy and relaxing, and you have no obligations. Just smile and being polite can handle a lot, so it's not difficult; I really enjoyed it.

 

But on the other hand, will you be able to stay alone forever; i.e. if for example you plan to grow old, and probably also die, in Thailand?

 

If "look" after yourself means daily needs, then eating out, or have food delivered, is both easy and affordable, if you cannot cook yourself, or just don't want to cook every day; round the corner is often someone doing laundry and ironing for 50 baht or so per kilo; renting a place including some service, like cleaning, is possible; or if you "invest" in a home, a housekeeper, or regular domestic helper, can take care of lot, actually they can handle many things as good as if have a spouse.

 

In my view the major thing to consider is, what happens when you get old. Can you expect that a housekeeper or domestic helper will service you till the end?

 

Today I have a lovely girlfriend, but we are quite independent, meaning not glued together, so my girlfriend has her interests and friends - it can be a relief not need to join as the only alien in a group of continuously chattering girls, and they also have more fun without me - and I have my interests; and some thing we share, like in many relationships. The long term deal is that I take care of my girlfriend now, and she will take care of me, when I grow old, many years from now...????

 

-However scares me little, when my girlfriend says that she might get old before me...????

[ujayujay]

Yep! I'm living here now 5 Years, no pompam! 

[thaibeachlovers]

9 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

Well if you ain't got nobody the hospital staff is all you get, I was just answering the question asked.

You don't have to go all so psychological about it.

Having watched too many BS hospital based tv series, many people think nurses have nothing better to do than chase Drs and hold patients hands.

I'm just trying to set the record straight.

 

You could have just ignored my post if it offended you.

[thaibeachlovers]

8 hours ago, khunPer said:

In my view the major thing to consider is, what happens when you get old. Can you expect that a housekeeper or domestic helper will service you till the end?

Nursing services are apparently available in LOS for private care.

[bert bloggs]

12 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I very much doubt that my Thai wife would have been there for me had I needed care while we were married. The day I realised that was the beginning of the end of the marriage.

My Thai wife has been there for me in sickness and in health ,i will trust her and our son with my dying breath 

[brianthainess]

19 hours ago, kingstonkid said:

Take a look at the 74 year old Brit in Hospital 

 

Even he has a G/f to hold his hand and to 'look after' him, she seems to have stayed by his side all through his illness's even though he probably doesn't even recognise her anymore. May her God bless her.

[brianthainess]

One of the reasons i married my g/f now wife, was that i became ill and spent a total of 5 weeks in hospital, she shut her shop, and she slept on the floor next to me, cleaned me up, and made sure i took my medication all through it, I was sick for 1yr after, mainly side affects from the meds i had to take, That was prove to me, enough to know she lub me too mut, and asked her to marry me. Never even asked me for a ring. I spend all day alone as she is working in her OWN shop, but just minutes away if anything was to happen. and told me that if she dies before me, she has told her kids that if i want a new lady then no problem. Good to have 2 separate rooms if in the future one needs a live in carer.

[SomchaiCNX]

Take a dog.

 

[sanmyn]

I always admired my uncle while growing up.  He never married, managed a radio station in Calif, and had

a life doing as he pleased.  I modeled my life after him, although I married at 39 and had two daughters.

Divorced after 10 years, as we weren't getting along., I moved to Thailand in 1995.

Now i am 85 (86 nest week) and have lived alone for 26 years.  I am used to being single and enjoy it.

I have a housekeeper who comes twice a week and i bought a condo and live on the waterfront in Naklua, 

a small community near Pattaya. I have Thai woman friends who visit infrequently but I don't need a full

time companion now. My daughters come yearly for a visit and of course i miss them.

But I am happy and would not change my lifestyle.  sanmyn at yahoo com for those who would like more

info on living in Thailand.

 

 

[Kwasaki]

4 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Having watched too many BS hospital based tv series, many people think nurses have nothing better to do than chase Drs and hold patients hands.

I'm just trying to set the record straight.

 

You could have just ignored my post if it offended you.

Didn't offend me at all, I've been in hospital for longest periods in my life,  it didn't bother me if no one came to visit.

[khunPer]

6 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Nursing services are apparently available in LOS for private care.

Yes, and I'm still dreaming about the nurses that I took photos of, I even began to save money and also buy lottery tickets, so I one day can afford their service...

[1FinickyOne]

On 9/2/2021 at 1:06 PM, thaibeachlovers said:

There is a fundamental difference to being apart from someone that you live with, and being alone.

Being alone means waking up alone every day of your life, and knowing no one is there for you.

sure there is - I was just stating my situation... being w/others means some compromises and sacrifices and living on a two way street... but if someone does not want to be alone, surely it is quite easy to find companionship in Thailand 

[1FinickyOne]

2 hours ago, sanmyn said:

Now i am 85 (86 nest week)

Happy birthday sanmyn... live on in health and happiness..

[1FinickyOne]

On 9/2/2021 at 1:02 PM, thaibeachlovers said:

I'd trade being able to do what I like when I like for the love of a good woman. Unfortunately I don't think she exists, so I'll go with the former.

Which is probably why you can't find one... Getting married, having a relationship implies that some sacrifices might need to be made... Did you ever think part of the relationship that doesn't work comes from you? 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 9/3/2021 at 8:25 PM, 1FinickyOne said:

Which is probably why you can't find one... Getting married, having a relationship implies that some sacrifices might need to be made... Did you ever think part of the relationship that doesn't work comes from you? 

LOL.

I've been in two long term relationships and in both the majority of the "sacrifice" came from me. One can only give till one realises that one is being exploited and getting zilch back. Then it's time to walk.

 

I hope you ain't one of those that thinks it's always the man's fault.

[georgegeorgia]

On 9/3/2021 at 3:26 PM, sanmyn said:

I always admired my uncle while growing up.  He never married, managed a radio station in Calif, and had

a life doing as he pleased.  I modeled my life after him, although I married at 39 and had two daughters.

Divorced after 10 years, as we weren't getting along., I moved to Thailand in 1995.

Now i am 85 (86 nest week) and have lived alone for 26 years.  I am used to being single and enjoy it.

I have a housekeeper who comes twice a week and i bought a condo and live on the waterfront in Naklua, 

a small community near Pattaya. I have Thai woman friends who visit infrequently but I don't need a full

time companion now. My daughters come yearly for a visit and of course i miss them.

But I am happy and would not change my lifestyle.  sanmyn at yahoo com for those who would like more

info on living in Thailand.

 

 

may i ask have you ever been in hospital in pattaya and who would come to visit you and support you etc 

Do you get lonely by yourself ?

[kingstonkid]

On 9/3/2021 at 9:50 AM, brianthainess said:

Even he has a G/f to hold his hand and to 'look after' him, she seems to have stayed by his side all through his illness's even though he probably doesn't even recognise her anymore. May her God bless her.

That was my point would you rather be in a Thai hospital with no one to support you or smile at you and hold y our hand or just be there waiting for a busy nurse to come in when it is your turn for a sponge bath?

[473geo]

10 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

LOL.

I've been in two long term relationships and in both the majority of the "sacrifice" came from me. One can only give till one realises that one is being exploited and getting zilch back. Then it's time to walk.

 

I hope you ain't one of those that thinks it's always the man's fault.

I think your level of expectation may have been a bit off, compounded by lacking the means or ability to reset it.

 

[georgegeorgia]

im getting by this topic,there are a lot of "needy" type guys who cant live by themselves or more importantly ..be by themselves because they get lonely.

 

I saw "Sammyn " post above...86yo and still takes care of himself...but different generation where they had to look after themselves and learned to do that

 

unfortanetely with the latest Generation they have been conditioned to be "needy" and rely on others ,i even see this in workplaces where people cant be by themselves ,they want to be near you, stick their noses in your life,and get upset if they cant be in it, they get easily offended and even upset if you dont say good morning to them.

 

some of them they cant work in a workplace without some "reassurance" by boss/superviser   etc ,eg they get upset if the boss/superviser doesnt say hello/good morning etc ,they think somethings wrong, they need to converse with the superviser in private conversation before or after their work shift to get that reassurance that everything is ok,that they are liked 

 

with "unneedy " people (if thats a word) they dont give a flying F and just go to work and do their job then go home 

 

how many times you at the gym there are a lot of treadmills empty,someone chooses the one next to yours ,you on a bus or train,someone sits near you ,because they are needy people

Edited September 5, 2021 by georgegeorgia

[georgegeorgia]

10 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

LOL.

I've been in two long term relationships and in both the majority of the "sacrifice" came from me. One can only give till one realises that one is being exploited and getting zilch back. Then it's time to walk.

 

I hope you ain't one of those that thinks it's always the man's fault.

as a former nurse you must of seen a lot of "needy" type patients ,ones who cant get by without relying on others.

i remember 5 years ago visiting my late mother in hospital the nurses commented how my mother wasnt as needy as the other 3 patients in the room.

I remember one woman constantly pressing her bell for attention until the nurses took a long while to respond to her.

[Mac Mickmanus]

3 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

im getting by this topic,there are a lot of "needy" type guys who cant live by themselves or more importantly ..be by themselves because they get lonely.

 

I saw "Sammyn " post above...86yo and still takes care of himself.

 

unfortanetely with the latest Generation they have been conditioned to be "needy" and rely on others ,i even see this in workplaces where people cant be by themselves ,they want to be near you, stick their noses in your life,and get upset if they cant be in it.

 

how many times you at the gym there are a lot of treadmills empty,someone chooses the one next to yours ,you on a bus or train,someone sits near you ,because they are needy people

I find that in toilets , often when I  am taking a Pee , someone comes and stands next to me , even when there are ten other urinals available 

[georgegeorgia]

3 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

I find that in toilets , often when I  am taking a Pee , someone comes and stands next to me , even when there are ten other urinals available 

funny how you mention that ????.....i recall back in 2011 i was working for a major hospital in Sydney and at the time they were making us staff complete "Dignity & Respect in the Workplace " workshops.

During the break i rushed off to the mens toilets ,peeing at the long urinal until a fellow classmate arrives ...and....stands right next to me with his old fellow out and looks at me and says " what do you think of the class,you enjoying it ?

 

now i dont want to go into much detail but i tend to shake it at the end and he was that close to me his elbow was touching mine so i told him to move away in some terms , about a week later i get called to HR as he lodged a complaint ,i had to redo the dignity and respect workshop class a second time !