Elderly Expats Conversations

[Enaka]

2 minutes ago, soalbundy said:

You don't go to bars for an intelligent conversation but for a laugh, bar girls are brilliant entertainers, I go with the missus to one in a nearby town sometimes when the kids allow us out. 

Okay, then, how about you start a thread, "Going to bars for a laugh."

 

This topic is "Elderly Expats Conversations".

Laughs always very welcome, but not the focus here.

 

Usually postings on public forums (all of them), deteriorate into topic high-jackings (like that from soalbundy above).

I'm trying to keep it on topic.

A lot of readers won't like that -- they seem to actually prefer chaos.

And that's one reason I'm looking for private conversations on a specific topic (in this case: elderly expat living).

 

[zzaa09]

On 11/9/2021 at 9:23 PM, seedy said:

Is there an Expat group where you live ?

Bound to be people in the same boat

Wouldn't be my first choice for company [or even on the list]. 

 

[soalbundy]

Just now, Enaka said:

Okay, then, how about you start a thread, "Going to bars for a laugh."

 

This topic is "Elderly Expats Conversations".

Laughs always very welcome, but not the focus here.

 

Usually postings on public forums (all of them), deteriorate into topic high-jackings (like that from soalbundy above).

I'm trying to keep it on topic.

A lot of readers won't like that -- they seem to actually prefer chaos.

And that's one reason I'm looking for private conversations on a specific topic (in this case: elderly expat living).

 

Yes, I can see your problem already.

[Mansell]

Getting older is a <deleted> shoot, especially the health issues….you either have health problems or you do not. A lot depends upon your life getting to be 77. Were you active and doing lots of activities, or was it a sedentary lifestyle? I spent my life playing tennis, walking for hours, surfing, and bicycling. I ride the bicycle now a few times a week usual 12 kilo each time, a bit of time with weights. But mainly playing competitive doubles tennis with guys of mostly 20 years younger or more. I am lucky most of my health issues are my eyes, and I’m dealing with that….one nasty atrial fibrillation attack, but I handle that with supplements. But once again health is a <deleted> shoot.

As for interactions with other farang…..besides tennis nothing really. Bars are not my scene, and I’m not into nightlife. I would love to be in a book club and discussing the merits of assorted books, but only non-fiction. Presently reading Nelson Mandela’s life story…..engrossing read. Actually got to hear the great man talk in Capetown in 1999.

I am a people person, so living here has been difficult, and I love debating assorted topics, but that doesn’t seem to happen in Thailand. I am near Pattaya, and in my experience farang here really keep to themselves. And as I’m healthy I don’t drink tea or coffee or much beer….so that puts a crimp into the social life. 
I guess most of us will just keep plodding along until the great door in the sky opens and welcomes us back. Good luck people.

[ktown1993]

I did a google search for groups when I saw your post.  My mom is moving to Koh Samui in December and I have thought about helping her start a group eventually.  Anyway, I found this group. Maybe it will help you?
https://www.meetup.com/Bangkok-Golden-Years-Seniors/

[KarenBravo]

39 minutes ago, soalbundy said:

I agree, whatever country you are in you should learn the language. It took me 3 years to be fluent in German where I spent most of my working life and before retiring to Thailand I spent 2 years learning to read and write Thai (a prerequisite for speaking the tones correctly) I then read all the Harry Potter books in Thai that I could get my hands on.

 

I am now in a village in Isaan where the local dialect is Khmern but no matter they can all speak Thai. Apart from my missus my two step daughters and my son I wouldn't say that I have close Thai friends but I do have good relationships with the villagers, some I would regard as bordering on friendship. That is enough for me as I am comfortable with my own company and the relationships that I have here.

 

I am genetically blessed with good health, at 73 I have false teeth and glasses but that is about all, I climb on the roof of my house to clean the rain gutters and help with the rice harvest. Whether you are old or not is a matter of your own attitude to life, if you think you are old then you are old, can I run a marathon, no, but I wouldn't try to, I know my limits but that doesn't make me old. I keep mentally active with the internet, reading and dealing with my sometimes petulant teenage son and the babblings of my two step granddaughters. I understand that some may need the company of falang from their own country but that would make me old after having met many with closed minds, ill health and a desire to dress comfortably, ie shorts and vest with elastic stockings for their varicose veins, you become the company you keep.

Generally, a good post, but you are old. A fit 73 years old but old nonetheless.

Age and fitness are two different things. One does not negate the other.

[MRToMRT]

I am an old, I meet loads of people down the pub, sometimes I drink too much and fight them. On the bright side I have not had a broken nose since covid started.

[soalbundy]

Just now, KarenBravo said:

Generally, a good post, but you are old. A fit 73 years old but old nonetheless.

Age and fitness are two different things. One does not negate the other.

In years yes but I am a lot younger than many 40 year olds regarding the attitudes to life. Age is serenity not senility, although not necessarily of course. I've been there, done that, I've made my mistakes and have learnt from them without dwelling on them. Wisdom cloaks the years served on earth and opens doors closed to the young, although if beards meant wisdom then goats could preach. The study of Eastern philosophies and meditation really does keep the mind sharp and dampens arrogance (I have a problem with that, photos of me in primary school show the face of a boy who should have been born 'Lord Clive of India' and not a member of the working class). I have made progress, I am a better person than I was and when this avatar called 'me' drops out of the game the consciousness that plays it will be ready for another shot at it with a new avatar, hopefully a better one next time, something with more flair and better at maths.

[Enaka]

It's been fun, but I'm leaving now.

 

On almost all topics, on all forums, when number of posts fills two pages, the hijackers pile on.

As they are starting to do here.

Well-meaning, some, sure, but hijackers nevertheless.

And, over many years of observing public postings, once the hijackings start, there is no rescue.

All one can do is leave the thread.

 

Anyone who wants to contact me knows how.

Now, please excuse me, I have a phone call with someone who already has made contact.

 

To those who've helped on this topic, thank you. 

 

[Galong]

1 hour ago, Enaka said:

What has been your experience actually meeting and talking with other seasoned expats at restaurants?

Mine has been terrible.

I definitely wouldn't call it fulfilling by any stretch.  It's just nice to speak to someone who is fluent in English sometimes. I'm the only Westerner in the area where I live.  My wife is my best friend, but there is only so much we have in common and can talk about at length. 

I Skype my very old mother twice a day.  That is nice for both of us. I video chat with my slightly younger brother a couple of times per week too. That's always really nice. 

[Galong]

2 minutes ago, Enaka said:

All one can do is leave the thread.

Alas, you are correct.  Best of luck to you, sir. 

[soalbundy]

1 minute ago, Galong said:

Alas, you are correct.  Best of luck to you, sir. 

"The time has come," the Walrus said "To talk of many things, of shoes and ships and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings and why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings.''

[KarenBravo]

27 minutes ago, soalbundy said:

In years yes but I am a lot younger than many 40 year olds regarding the attitudes to life. Age is serenity not senility, although not necessarily of course. I've been there, done that, I've made my mistakes and have learnt from them without dwelling on them. Wisdom cloaks the years served on earth and opens doors closed to the young, although if beards meant wisdom then goats could preach. The study of Eastern philosophies and meditation really does keep the mind sharp and dampens arrogance (I have a problem with that, photos of me in primary school show the face of a boy who should have been born 'Lord Clive of India' and not a member of the working class). I have made progress, I am a better person than I was and when this avatar called 'me' drops out of the game the consciousness that plays it will be ready for another shot at it with a new avatar, hopefully a better one next time, something with more flair and better at maths.

Sorry, basic maths. Seventy can't be younger than 40.

All the things you mention maybe true, but it doesn't make you any younger.

I go by age, not fitness, wisdom, or anything else.

 

Another giveaway is you trying to convince people you are not old. Only old people do that.

Nothing wrong with getting old.............when you consider the alternative.

[1FinickyOne]

I have been in Thailand a long time, lived in many places too... 

 

I think you will likely find more of what you are looking for in CM... plenty of educated and interesting expats here and with plenty of time.. and much easier to navigate than Bkk... 

[soalbundy]

Just now, KarenBravo said:

Sorry, basic maths. Seventy can't be younger than 40.

All the things you mention maybe true, but it doesn't make you any younger.

I go by age, not fitness, wisdom, or anything else.

 

Another giveaway is you trying to convince people you are not old. Only old people do that.

Nothing wrong with getting old.............when you consider the alternative.

I said yes, I am old in years but I don't let that define me, once you do that you are finished. As for 40 well; I worked in a design office for BMW, full of serious dedicated engineers, all around 40 then, like myself. We had to wear a BMW pass on our suits, attached by a plastic clip. Mine broke so I fashioned a new one from a paper clip. When I entered a different office to my own to consult with an electronics engineer he had a look of horror on his face, his eyes continually transfixed on my paper clip, he gave me the information that I needed and as I left the office his eyes followed me in disbelief....he was already 80 in my opinion.

[rct99q]

4 hours ago, Enaka said:

Report on this thread so far.

Started just over 24 hours ago.

 

One practical suggestion to contact other posters here, to begin conversations.

Anyone else here ever tried that?

I have; many, many, times.

All the replies I got amounted to, “Thanks. Cheers.”

That’s it.

 

Another practical suggestion to go to meetings of organized groups.

Lots of people go to meetings of all kinds – Meetups, hobby groups, church.

Useful, certainly, if you like the kind of people who like to go to meetings.

 

And the usual bizz-takers appeared, of course.

Though not many so far.

And the usual high-jackers who didn’t understand the OP, but posted anyway.

 

But, so far, not a single, positive, useful, reply.

Not one!

 

What would be a positive and useful reply?

A private message, of course.

Saying something like this:

 

 

So far, nothing like that.

"Jai-yen-yen, na"

.

 

1 hour ago, Enaka said:

Thank you, rct99q, for taking your time to post ideas.

I just wish you had read the opening post more carefully before you decided to post.

 

As one example: "computer chat room group".

Computer chat room group is exactly opposite the objective on this thread.

 

The goal here is not just to volunteer somewhere and meet anybody.

The goal here is how to get acquainted with older expats, specifically, who are un-likely to volunteer or go to meetings or spend time in computer chat rooms.

 

 

Hi again. I did read your post. Line 5 or 6 says how and where to meet people for conversations. Suggestions were given.

As for the other post you quoted. I agree. Many topics I would likd to engage with others.

 

Like how would I get in contact with my dead ex wife. Just to rub it in that I have lived longer than her. I am sure there must be some interest in this.

 

How does one get the smell of a dead hooker out of the boot of a car? Not for me, just I am sure it would be an interesting topic

 

Erectile dysfunction. In the partner one is going down on. It must have happened to everyone here, I would be interested in how others dealt with this. Was it me?

 

Wet farts. At my age I am scared to let one rip in public anymore in case I poop myself. Is there a magic answer for this. 

 

I have really bad hips. What would be an alternative to the wheelbarrow position that would still be enjoyable and pain free.

 

Soon I will be unable to chew my own food. Any thoughts on how to find someone who could pre chew my food. Obviously needs to be someone with proper hygiene. 

 

Due to an old injury, I was hobbled by some Native Canadian Indians, I now walk with a limp. Finding shoes is a nightmare. I would still Like to ballroom dance. I would need a strong partner to help hold me up. So far no luck. Discuss.

 

When I was younger I stupidly applied some tiger balm to my scrotum. Since then my left testicle is completely bald. Always been shy about it. I think talking about it with some people would help me decide should I shave my right testicle to match? Or do as I have been and just keep one hairy nut?

 

 

This would be fun. Now I too am looking for people to get a conversation going.

 

Cheers

[soalbundy]

Just now, rct99q said:

Hi again. I did read your post. Line 5 or 6 says how and where to meet people for conversations. Suggestions were given.

As for the other post you quoted. I agree. Many topics I would likd to engage with others.

 

Like how would I get in contact with my dead ex wife. Just to rub it in that I have lived longer than her. I am sure there must be some interest in this.

 

How does one get the smell of a dead hooker out of the boot of a car? Not for me, just I am sure it would be an interesting topic

 

Erectile dysfunction. In the partner one is going down on. It must have happened to everyone here, I would be interested in how others dealt with this. Was it me?

 

Wet farts. At my age I am scared to let one rip in public anymore in case I poop myself. Is there a magic answer for this. 

 

I have really bad hips. What would be an alternative to the wheelbarrow position that would still be enjoyable and pain free.

 

Soon I will be unable to chew my own food. Any thoughts on how to find someone who could pre chew my food. Obviously needs to be someone with proper hygiene. 

 

Due to an old injury, I was hobbled by some Native Canadian Indians, I now walk with a limp. Finding shoes is a nightmare. I would still Like to ballroom dance. I would need a strong partner to help hold me up. So far no luck. Discuss.

 

When I was younger I stupidly applied some tiger balm to my scrotum. Since then my left testicle is completely bald. Always been shy about it. I think talking about it with some people would help me decide should I shave my right testicle to match? Or do as I have been and just keep one hairy nut?

 

 

This would be fun. Now I too am looking for people to get a conversation going.

 

Cheers

You are dear to my heart.

[KarenBravo]

24 minutes ago, soalbundy said:

I said yes, I am old in years but I don't let that define me, once you do that you are finished. As for 40 well; I worked in a design office for BMW, full of serious dedicated engineers, all around 40 then, like myself. We had to wear a BMW pass on our suits, attached by a plastic clip. Mine broke so I fashioned a new one from a paper clip. When I entered a different office to my own to consult with an electronics engineer he had a look of horror on his face, his eyes continually transfixed on my paper clip, he gave me the information that I needed and as I left the office his eyes followed me in disbelief....he was already 80 in my opinion.

If that's what you want to believe, you go right ahead. It's your life.

[soalbundy]

Just now, KarenBravo said:

If that's what you want to believe, you go right ahead. It's your life.

Or what's left of it.

[fredscats]

What I have most definately noticed in UK especially are the meet ups aimed at active elderly. Social groups,just pile in and get noticed,now xmas is almost on us choice unlimited,walking/trekking/talking ,batting the breeze...even one ,breafast in local pub,hop on coach ,go for a p.iss up in hills and dales,special movie hall,free food.   Seems Im missing something

[Harveyboy]

6 hours ago, Thujone said:

I had two conversations in a row with elderly expats in Pattaya, which lead to them telling me about their gout.

In case I had any doubts, I realised I must be getting old...

i had gout 2 weeks ago do you want to know about it lol..bloody painfull

[Stupooey]

1 hour ago, Enaka said:

It's been fun, but I'm leaving now.

 

On almost all topics, on all forums, when number of posts fills two pages, the hijackers pile on.

As they are starting to do here.

Well-meaning, some, sure, but hijackers nevertheless.

And, over many years of observing public postings, once the hijackings start, there is no rescue.

All one can do is leave the thread.

 

Anyone who wants to contact me knows how.

Now, please excuse me, I have a phone call with someone who already has made contact.

 

To those who've helped on this topic, thank you. 

 

If it wasn't for the fact that you have chosen to leave the thread, and therefore won't see what I'm writing, I would tell you how wrong you are. Hell no, I'll do it anyway. The first two pages of any forum tend to be filled by people who sit on their keyboards all day waiting for a new topic to be posted, to which they reply irrespective of whether they have anything meaningful to say simply to increase their post count. Most of these can be ignored. I usually find that by the time I see a thread there are very often many more than 2 pages of comment. On about one in ten of these I find that I have a pertinent comment to make, which has not already been made, leading to me submitting a post. Regarding your own problem, it would help to have some background information, such as why you find yourself in Thailand, seemingly alone and without friends of your own age. Nearly all the expats I meet are over 60 (if not they are either very rich or ex-military with multiple chips on their shoulders) and I have no trouble having meaningful conversations with (most of) them. I personally am over 70, and chose to live for a year in a town with many retirees, before moving far enough away to still be able to socialise with them without them being in my back pocket.

 

 

 

 

Edited November 11, 2021 by Stupooey
Word omitted

[soalbundy]

4 minutes ago, Harveyboy said:

i had gout 2 weeks ago do you want to know about it lol..bloody painfull

Like a group of cats talking about their 'operation'

[Stevemercer]

'But how does an old man travel when he has to pee frequently'.

 

We sometimes drive from Khon Kaen to Hua Hin. We obviously use the toll roads to get across Bangkok.  Like you, I need frequent <deleted> stops.

 

Once you start you are stuck on nearly 100 km of various toll roads with no service centres. The transit can take 2 hours if the traffic is heavy. Woe betide anyone who descends to the ground level roads in search of a toilet. if you are a stranger to Bangkok. It will take you hours to struggle back to a tollway (going in the wrong direction).

[bangon04]

"As one gets up in years, having helpers becomes essential.

My maid comes in once a week,

.......I’ve had good success finding maids and a cook – part-time........

In a low-trust culture, finding trust-worthy helpers is not easy."

 

It may be a cliche, but in Asia it is not impossible to find a mature live-in lady who will greatly facilitate daily chores including exercise physical and mental wellbeing. This does not equate to visiting bars and massage parlors but does assume that the senior expat is financially comfortable and the groundrules of the relationship are clearly defined.

Such an arrangement would cost millions in the western world, but mutually beneficial in the asian world.

[Lemsta69]

7 hours ago, rct99q said:

 

Here are some suggestions:

Hang a sign around your neck stating you need a friend

Go to Tesco/Macro/BigC, whatever and engage in conversation with any foreigner.

Hang around a Swensons or Starbucks and when an appropriate person comes in, ask to join them

Take out a personal ad in Thaitiger or BP

Create a website for elderly foreigner looking for like minded companions.

Try to find a local group of LGBTQ's. Wonderful group of people if just looking for conversations. 

Volunteer for any number of support groups, suicide help, AA, GA, etc. Prisoner visitor support groups.

Hang out at a local medical clinic and ask people for advice

Check out local restaurants for pool, darts, quiz nights. Etc. Even though you may not play you can always provide vocal support.

Use massage parlour, call girls, ask them if they know any clients your age and could they hook you up.

 

Just a few things off the top of my head.

that's gold! ????

[Lemsta69]

7 hours ago, rct99q said:

 

dupe. you need to upgrade your servers Asean Now ????

Edited November 11, 2021 by Lemsta69

[RichardColeman]

Only daily recurring 30 minute of conversation around our pool is how great someone's watch is, what it cost, what it can do and how much for delivery.

 

I don't own a watch - I go swim during this daily watch nonsense

[brianthainess]

On 11/10/2021 at 12:04 PM, Enaka said:

I was surprised at how difficult (how heavy) it was to move wet towels

I just leave them in the tub for a while to drain, then press down, before puting in the spinner, mainly to stop the spinner from banging around unbalanced.

On 11/10/2021 at 12:04 PM, Enaka said:

But deliveries presume shop on-line.

Some shopping websites here have no English or very little English.

 

Almost everything you need from Global you can buy from a Lazada search. Frozen food Pies, Indian curries, Lasagne, sausages etc. I buy from Britishop.

[brianthainess]

14 hours ago, MRToMRT said:

I am an old, I meet loads of people down the pub, sometimes I drink too much and fight them. On the bright side I have not had a broken nose since covid started.

That's a good reason not to meet people down the Pub.