Are the re-pats you know happier in the home country...

[Old Croc]

There's no definitive answer to the question.

People vary dramatically with their wants, needs, asperations and importantly, financial situations. Many pack up and move across the world for silly reasons without knowing what they are getting into. Without doing the research and planning. How often do we hear the old chestnut - "I came for two weeks, fell in love with the laidback lifestyle/tropical weather/hot, available girls/temples/etc., and stayed. " 

There will always be people who find it isn't the paradise they first envisaged. Others who don't have the finances to live in a foreign country, those who should never have left loved ones and/or their structured lives behind and need that again.

And of course those who expected a place like Thailand to be a free living,  exotic, paradise yet still have the amenities and structure of a modern western country, 

Some people flee back to their place of safety, and list all the things they consider are better there - road rules, policing, no Immigration(!), service, beer, sport, an organized relatively non-chaotic life. Things that existed before they left, which elicits the question - why did they leave?

Then there are those who consider that paradise, once found, should forever remain unchanged in some sort of time warp. They lament the fact that Thailand has evolved or deteriorated, in the way all places do, including the country they left years ago.

After 11 years away I don't miss, nor even recognise, much of what Australia has become.

 

[talahtnut]

Six months UK, six in Thailand worked well until covie nonsense.

Hot shower UK, cold shower Thailand.

Log fire UK, air con Thailand.

Cat in UK, dog in Thailand.

Wine in UK, beer in Thailand.

Peace in UK, wife in Thailand.

Must have serious domicile disorder syndrome

and aversion to decisions and bridge burning.

Make the best of it wherever you are.

[thaibeachlovers]

11 hours ago, JingerBen said:

The US that I grew up in doesn't exist anymore.

   There is nothing to go back to.

Same in NZ. I see nothing much familiar about the country now, and it's still changing fast.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, Old Croc said:

There's no definitive answer to the question.

People vary dramatically with their wants, needs, asperations and importantly, financial situations. Many pack up and move across the world for silly reasons without knowing what they are getting into. Without doing the research and planning. How often do we hear the old chestnut - "I came for two weeks, fell in love with the laidback lifestyle/tropical weather/hot, available girls/temples/etc., and stayed. " 

There will always be people who find it isn't the paradise they first envisaged. Others who don't have the finances to live in a foreign country, those who should never have left loved ones and/or their structured lives behind and need that again.

And of course those who expected a place like Thailand to be a free living,  exotic, paradise yet still have the amenities and structure of a modern western country, 

Some people flee back to their place of safety, and list all the things they consider are better there - road rules, policing, no Immigration(!), service, beer, sport, an organized relatively non-chaotic life. Things that existed before they left, which elicits the question - why did they leave?

Then there are those who consider that paradise, once found, should forever remain unchanged in some sort of time warp. They lament the fact that Thailand has evolved or deteriorated, in the way all places do, including the country they left years ago.

After 11 years away I don't miss, nor even recognise, much of what Australia has become.

 

I'm continually boggled by posters that have moved to Thailand, but want it to change to something more like the <deleted> <deleted> place they left behind.

[ourdon]

9 hours ago, stigar said:

I live 6 months a year in thailand..thats enough for me.Thats let me keep my benefits in my country.

I meet some foreigners who moved permantly to thailand,and many of them regrets the day they need help from their embassy in Bangkok.If u dont pay tax to ur country of origin dont expect they will help u.

 

4 hours ago, bangon04 said:

agree - European summer in Europe, and winter in Asia... perfect compromise - best of both worlds.

Agree with both of you but don't think you're going far enough.  I do (did pre covid) about five to six months in Thai and visit other countries from there. Then about two months wandering through Southern Frances vinyards (out by the start of the summer holidays).   Finally to Canada for an enjoyment of the approximately 4 snow free months they have. (struth!)

Rinse - Repeat. 

 

It has been a great retirement so far but the pandemic and the new restrictions have had me hunkered down in a cave for the last year.  This hopefully is the time to resume my slow drift around the planet.  Hope to be in LOS next week.

[The Hammer2021]

10 hours ago, blackprince said:

"I pity the poor immigrant
Who wishes he would've stayed home
Who uses all his power to do evil
But in the end is always left so alone"

 

 

Expats aren't immigrants as immigrants become citizens but expats dont

[kwonitoy]

After 25 years based out of Thailand my son and I made the move to Canada Oct 20.

I want him to get exposure to a Canadian education and lifestyle. I want him to grow up Canadian. And so does he BTW, he was super excited to make the move.

I haven't lived in Edmonton for 30 years so it's a big change coming here in the fall and now winter.

My son loves it, seeing him run around in the first snowfall and teaching him how to make and throw snowballs at each other is a once in a lifetime occurrence. Next will be sledding at the local ski hill and get him on a snowboard. 

Supermarket selection, much better here, more expensive also but you get what you pay for.

I've been getting dental work done here, much more expensive but again you get what you pay for.

My son has said several times how quite it is in the house, no street traffic, no loud stereos in cars, straight pipe motorcycles etc.

Driving around, even in the snow Is just boring, it is that peaceful and orderly on the roads compared to Thailand

 

No worries about visa's, my Thai retirement extension expired Nov 30. It's dead and will remain that way.

I can read all the signs driving around, I can understand ALL the people I deal with.

I've lived and worked all over the world and wanted to retire at home.

It's just too f@@##ing hot in Thailand for me now climate wise. I haven't broke a sweat since I returned.

My genuinely crazy ex-wife gets out of prison this month after 9 years in the monkey house. 12 time zones of separation is the right distance from her.

I was always concerned that she or her equally crazy family would try something, causing trouble is there business and business with them is always good.

 

I'm home, I feel much more relaxed and at peace. YMMV

 

[Titan1962]

I came here after a divorce in my early fifties,found it difficult to get back into a relationship back home. No issues in that department here in Thailand,thought I was 20 again for a year or two. Finally settled down and been in a great relationship for 5 years now,couldn’t be happier in that department. Yes the cost of living is definitely cheaper here if your on a fixed income,and you can sow your seed more easily. But I do miss the cooler climate,friends,son,daughter,grandkids,nice parks,going for a walk along the beach,safer driving conditions. Thailand definitely has its good points and also many bad points. The only reason I am still here is cost of living,take that factor out of the equation and I would rather be back in my home country with my Thai misses. Maybe come back to Thailand for a few months a year to enjoy what it has to offer. 
Some could live out the rest of their lives here,some as they get older find things not as easy as it once was. I will mention this but not using it as an excuse. I suffer from a learning disability,never really any good at school and left as soon as I could to work. I have never been able to speak or understand the Thai language and find it very frustrating not being able to have conversations with my misses family,friends,or even the neighbors or people at the market. Not their fault that’s mine. Maybe things might have been a bit better if I could communicate with more than just my misses who speaks and understands English very well. I do get frustrated easily,that’s my nature,so having to rely on other people to communicate for me makes things worse. 
Horses for courses and this horse hopes to return home again soon. Will I regret that decision when that happens,not sure, but I have to give it a shot. Plus the misses has a lot of friends that are married to foreigners and have moved away from Thailand. Not one of them regrets that decision,so the misses is looking forward to a new life in a new country too.

[talahtnut]

 

Have you ever seen a Thai making a snowman?

The missus and son loved the UK snow,

and want to live here permanantly. Yes they're nutters. But...

[Inala]

11 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

More happy today can drink a beer in my village restaurant the first time for nearly a year. you ????

 

It doesn't take much to keep some people happy....you're lucky just the simple act of sitting there drinking beer makes you happy

[sirineou]

1 hour ago, Titan1962 said:

I came here after a divorce in my early fifties,found it difficult to get back into a relationship back home. No issues in that department here in Thailand,thought I was 20 again for a year or two. Finally settled down and been in a great relationship for 5 years now,couldn’t be happier in that department. Yes the cost of living is definitely cheaper here if your on a fixed income,and you can sow your seed more easily. But I do miss the cooler climate,friends,son,daughter,grandkids,nice parks,going for a walk along the beach,safer driving conditions. Thailand definitely has its good points and also many bad points. The only reason I am still here is cost of living,take that factor out of the equation and I would rather be back in my home country with my Thai misses. Maybe come back to Thailand for a few months a year to enjoy what it has to offer. 
Some could live out the rest of their lives here,some as they get older find things not as easy as it once was. I will mention this but not using it as an excuse. I suffer from a learning disability,never really any good at school and left as soon as I could to work. I have never been able to speak or understand the Thai language and find it very frustrating not being able to have conversations with my misses family,friends,or even the neighbors or people at the market. Not their fault that’s mine. Maybe things might have been a bit better if I could communicate with more than just my misses who speaks and understands English very well. I do get frustrated easily,that’s my nature,so having to rely on other people to communicate for me makes things worse. 
Horses for courses and this horse hopes to return home again soon. Will I regret that decision when that happens,not sure, but I have to give it a shot. Plus the misses has a lot of friends that are married to foreigners and have moved away from Thailand. Not one of them regrets that decision,so the misses is looking forward to a new life in a new country too.

^^^That abut covers it in a nutshell.

Not being able to communicate in any meaningful way is my with anyone other than my wife is my main frustration with life in Thailand  also. Wife is getting  bored here also and would go back in a heartbeat.

I think the travel restrictions have a lot to do with it. Perhaps when we are able to come and go as we please things will get easier. 

[Inala]

7 hours ago, dunroaming said:

I think a lot of it depends on what you want out of your life and the dice you roll on the way.  I had a business that meant me spending about nine months of the year in South East Asia so I moved base camp (formerly I was in London) to Hong Kong.  I lived in two rooms in Mid Levels initially and then moved to Stanley on the other side of the island.  More property for the price but still £3,000 a month.  On my travels I frequently went to Chiang Mai  and liked the more laid back lifestyle. It was only an hours flight from mainland China and when I found I could rent a five bedroom, three bathroom house, on a private estate for £300 a month it was an obvious no brainer. 

 

I did (stupidly) live for the first year in Bangkok as I was worried about access to my other ports of call in Cambodia, Vietnam and Bangladesh.  But one year in the capital was more than enough and I ended up in Chiang Mai.  Much better for my sanity and the pollution levels were much lower.  I loved it from day one and managed to avoid the "Thai girlfriend" experience for about a year or so.  I made a lot of ex-pat friends in the first year, most of them European or American couples who had moved to Thailand for early retirement or as snowbirds, living there for the winter months.

 

Then I fell for a Thai girl and things got more complicated.  She ended up moving in with me, much to the annoyance of her father, but with the encouragement of her mother and sisters.  They had spent a lot of time watching programs like Dallas and were certain that I had a ranch, horses and an Olympic sized swimming pool back in farang land.  I think they had visions of us all living  there sipping cocktails and shopping in Rodeo Drive.  Once the truth was known there was a certain amount of cooling off from the female side of the family.

 

One day a police car pulled up outside the house and out got two officers who marched up to the front door.  I opened it and in they swept in without a word.  Luckily I was wearing my brown trousers.  Also luckily, my girlfriend appeared at that point and smiled widely towards the two men.  I was then introduced to her cousin and uncle and instantly my blood pressure dropped to a sustainable level.  Yes I had fallen for girl from a police family.  Over the next few years is proved to be  a valuable asset for obvious reasons.

 

And so as these things tend to happen, we got married, she had a baby and you can fast forward eight years.  My business was doing OK but not great and our son was now six years old.  We had looked at international schools in Chiang Mai and there was only one that was sort of OK.  But even  Prem (CM residents will know it) was far from ideal with most of the pupils spoilt brats and arrogant dickheads.  Not for me, especially not for extortionate fees they charged.  I have always been against private education as I went to my local state grammar school.

 

So after much discussion and many arguments we made a move to the UK, primarily for his education and because my business was suffering and needed a firmer grip than I could give it in Asia.  But also because we had both become disenchanted by Thailand in general.   It is funny how parenthood changes your perspective of things around you.  My wife had grown more westernised in her outlook, which I am afraid was mostly my fault and resulted in us feeling that Thailand was not a place we wanted for our son.

 

Settling back in the UK was difficult for my wife and she spent a lot of her time on planes going backwards and forwards trying to adjust.  I now know that that was grossly unfair to her and made the whole transition a nightmare  to deal with.  It took at least a couple of years for her to settle into English life.  Even then she had days of regret.

 

Fast forward again another 11 years and our son is now at college doing his A levels.  My wife has a good job and her indefinite leave to remain visa is in place.  After A levels, the boy will probably go to university and we will be free to go anywhere we want to.  We still have a house in Thailand and my wife still has family there so I suspect we will go there from time to time, but neither of us want to live there again full time. The weather in Britain is dire and the government continue to destroy almost all that was great in Great Britain, so we are thinking about Spain as a place to retire to. 

 

I really enjoyed my time in Thailand but that was a different time and it, and we, have changed, so time to roll the dice again.

Great story. It illustrates in detail how life events impact on one's decision making.

 

[cyril sneer]

11 hours ago, GrandPapillon said:

that's the UK, not part of Europe, more like a future third world country, you are better off staying in Thailand ????

UK leaving Europe has made it more appealing

 

I've heard a lot of the immigrants have already left

[SAFETY FIRST]

12 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

More happy today can drink a beer in my village restaurant the first time for nearly a year. you ????

 

Yep, looks good to me

 

Sometimes I just like to sit and watch the world go by. 

 

My family keep me pretty active day to day so quiet time is welcomed

[Bert got kinky]

 

A 're-pat' will always pine for his paradise lost.

 

[lapswim]

Old Croc is right depends on your circumstances.

Went back to Melbourne alone Feb 2020. Cared for Mum who later died of cancer. Was stuck in the Melbourne family home alone in the lock downs waiting for probate and Covid safety to improve to book a direct flight. It is like a war. I miss my partner and the party life style in Pattaya. She, however, is talking about lockdowns, the school reverting to online learning, my local bar being closed, the lack of availability of Modern/Pfizer for Thais, thefts, assaults and squatters.

I am happy that I did not experiencing Thailand Government's vaccine hesitancy, the many covid deaths and the winding down of Pattaya and its party lifestyle.

In its wisdom Thailand made Pattaya Wuhan's sister city, so when I saw all those Chinese arriving from Wuhan pulling their suitcases I was very pleased to be leaving.

Although covid safety was a priority in Australia, It is disappointing to see the extent of the money pumping during covid in Australia (and UK and USA). Western governments with their foolishness have created persistent long term inflation as food, housing and car prices go nuts.  Maybe watch out where you put your pennies.

The time to return is after the stupidity has peaked. 

Cheers 

[Jeffr2]

I've got several friends who moved back to the US.  All are quite happy.  Just depends on what you're looking for.

[blackprince]

4 hours ago, The Hammer2021 said:

Expats aren't immigrants as immigrants become citizens but expats dont

As I said earlier, the vast majority of westerners in Thailand are neither expats nor immigrants properly speaking.

[Kwasaki]

2 hours ago, Inala said:

It doesn't take much to keep some people happy....you're lucky just the simple act of sitting there drinking beer makes you happy

I guess you'll always get one of course it's one of the things that makes me feel good.

Sitting in a restaurant and having a beer was about only thing I have missed during pandemic plus my family not coming to see me once a year. 

Didn't affect my hobbies which I enjoy,  or exercise and the farm work.

 

 

 

Edited December 2, 2021 by Kwasaki

[1FinickyOne]

3 hours ago, Jeffr2 said:

I've got several friends who moved back to the US.  All are quite happy.  Just depends on what you're looking for.

love in all the wrong places?

[GrandPapillon]

some long term expats in Thailand are priced out in their home country, and are stuck in Thailand like total losers

 

quite sad, met a few, it felt quite tragic for them

[Rimmer]

A troll post has been removed

[dunroaming]

15 hours ago, Led Lolly Yellow Lolly said:

This is a great post, thanks for that. I guess you have ties in the UK. My wife and I spent 3.5 years in the UK and my stepdaughter developed superb English during that time (she was at the right age). However, we had no support from anyone in the UK, emotional or pecuniary, my own family took zero interest in us. We were basically alone. I worked all hours, all my wife could do was sit at home and watch TV. It was tough on my wife, and work was aging me.

 

After a couple of years, my sister in law threw us a lifeline and basically ordered us back to Thailand to fold us back into the family company. We jumped at the chance to reverse the mistake we'd made, but chose to stay long enough to complete the citizenship process, as I wanted my stepdaughter to have options. My son was also born in the run up to us returning to Thailand. The second that was all finished we burned everything and went straight to Heathrow, flew to Thailand and never looked back.

 

Best advice I ever heard is to go where you're appreciated. For me, that's here in Thailand. My wife's family have been very good to me, I'm completely loyal to them as a result.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good post and I totally understand your position.  Our son was born in Chiang Mai but with an English father he was immediately eligible for a British passport.  My wife has chosen not to go for British Citizenship as she wants to retain her Thai passport.  I get that, even though a British passport helps a lot with visas and stuff.

 

In the UK I had a good network of friends, some from way back and some through business.  We live in Surrey (a stones throw from London) and it is very cosmopolitan around here.  Consequently my wife was warmly welcomed by the whole neighbourhood. 

 

However she still found it very difficult in the early days  The temptation was to seek out other people from Thailand or Asian countries.  I was very against this as it was the opposite to intergrating into society here.  You see it a lot and I find it a negative (though understandable) scenario.  What helped us was having a son going to the local school.  I dragged my wife along to parents events and everyone made her very welcome.  The group of friends she ended up with were a mixture including Japanese, Singaporean, British, Welsh, Swedish and black American.  All of them parents from the school. 

 

I too have a very good relationship with my in-laws in Thailand.  They have always been very supportive and when my business was on the ropes they were the first to give me the financial help I needed.  I will always be grateful for that.  But I know that this isn't always the case in Thailand with an expectation that the foreigner will always pay!  I guess I was just lucky.

 

 

[zzaa09]

8 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

I guess you'll always get one of course it's one of the things that makes me feel good.

Sitting in a restaurant and having a beer was about only thing I have missed during pandemic plus my family not coming to see me once a year. 

Didn't affect my hobbies which I enjoy,  or exercise and the farm work.

 

 

 

Needn't miss out on any such restaurant/bar partaking - 

Have some of the old Thai boys over and party at home. 

Nothing more adventuresome than imbibing with Thai guys - never know what you're gonna get.

 

????

[Led Lolly Yellow Lolly]

34 minutes ago, dunroaming said:

My wife has chosen not to go for British Citizenship as she wants to retain her Thai passport.

Just to be pedantic, there is no rule preventing dual nationality in either country. My entire family are dual nationals, I am presently the only one with one passport. I apply for Thai citizenship in two years.

Edited December 2, 2021 by Led Lolly Yellow Lolly

[Kwasaki]

2 hours ago, zzaa09 said:

Needn't miss out on any such restaurant/bar partaking - 

Have some of the old Thai boys over and party at home. 

Nothing more adventuresome than imbibing with Thai guys - never know what you're gonna get.

 

????

Nah !! Thai mates I meet in village, only some Thai family aloud in our home.

Anyone drunk and getting out of hand are ask to leave. 

[jack71]

17 hours ago, ourdon said:

 

Agree with both of you but don't think you're going far enough.  I do (did pre covid) about five to six months in Thai and visit other countries from there. Then about two months wandering through Southern Frances vinyards (out by the start of the summer holidays).   Finally to Canada for an enjoyment of the approximately 4 snow free months they have. (struth!)

Rinse - Repeat. 

 

It has been a great retirement so far but the pandemic and the new restrictions have had me hunkered down in a cave for the last year.  This hopefully is the time to resume my slow drift around the planet.  Hope to be in LOS next week.

thats a great life.  good on you. i hope when Im older and retired I can do the same as you describe

[jack71]

5 hours ago, GrandPapillon said:

some long term expats in Thailand are priced out in their home country, and are stuck in Thailand like total losers

 

quite sad, met a few, it felt quite tragic for them

Sounds like you have a big head on your shoulders. Mr Smug man do you walk around thinking you're king of the castle?

[dunroaming]

13 minutes ago, Led Lolly Yellow Lolly said:

Just to be pedantic, there is no rule preventing dual nationality in either country. My entire family are dual nationals, I am presently the only one with one passport. I apply for Thai citizenship in two years.

I believe that is probably true now but for us you had to choose whether to surrender your Thai passport as they didn't allow dual nationality over the age of 18.  Britain on the other hand did.  Needless to say most of the British/Thai children we know in Thailand still kept both once they became 18.

[Pendleman]

After many years in Thailand I chose France for free schoolis for our then 4yr old & no visa hassles for the missus. We loved it but now its 6 years on its not so exciting anymore. But I think thats human nature, grass is greener etc, once things get routine & mundane. The missus prefers the UK cos there friendly & speak English. But after 2 weeks & a few pub visits, had the fish n'chips & pork pies etc the negatives of England come creeping back, the wind& rain, the speed limits & fear in everyone of hvng a drink &been over the limit. Cars &people everywhere, leave one town another starts. So we'll stay in France but as soon as our daughter finishes university its 50/50 with Thailand for us.

But if &when something happens to me the missus would be back to Issaan like a shot, dont reckon she'd stay for the funeral!

I miss the banter of strangers & mates alike in Thailand. The funny thing is as I sit here surrounded by stunning scenery fridge full of lovely french food I dream of us moving back to this 2 ri block back in her village & what trees we'll ask her mother to plant for us etc. Yet when we lived in Thailand I hated the village, 3 days was enough now im sat here pate, salami & beer in hand dreaming of the place!

As my grandad used to say "theres nowt so queer as folk".