Wife wants divorce, have child together. Looking for advice.

[zarman]

Married for 7 years, have a kid together. Wife said she wants a divorce. I'm here on a non-O marriage visa. I work remotely for a company overseas. I'm not old enough for a retirement visa, and I doubt I'll be able to get custody. Shared custody might be possible.

 

What are my options for staying and being a part of my son's life?

 

 

Edited January 24, 2022 by zarman

[ubonjoe]

I assume you are on a extension of stay issued by immigration not a non-o visa issued by a embassy or consulate.

You could apply for a one year extension of stay  based upon being the parent of Thai.

Most offices will accept the application if you have joint custody of your child.

[hereforgood]

I am pretty sure you can get a Visa based on being a supporting parent if your name is on the birth certificate as the father

[DrJack54]

OP how old are you. Asking as to how long before you can obtain extensions based on retirement.

You could look into PE visa. 

There is also marriage/divorce forum and you might obtain general advice/support there.

Not just about visa options.

If the wife is uncooperative re shared custody then it's an uphill battle. 

[spidermike007]

You could always buy a work permit, and get a work visa. Not cheap, but possible. 

[FridgeMagnet1]

22 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

You could always buy a work permit, and get a work visa. Not cheap, but possible. 

Really, how? 

[Neeranam]

25 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

You could always buy a work permit, and get a work visa. Not cheap, but possible. 

Is that legal?

[alextrat1966]

13 minutes ago, FridgeMagnet1 said:

Really, how? 

You don't need to. 

 

After the divorce instead of getting yearly extensions of stay to your Non-O VISA for being the spouse of a Thai, you would get them for being the father of a Thai. 

 

In the end it's the same, you would just have to provide different documentation.

[Chris.B]

57 minutes ago, DrJack54 said:

If the wife is uncooperative re shared custody then it's an uphill battle. 

If the Op pays maintenance towards the child, then why should the wife be uncooperative?

 

[ubonjoe]

A off topic post meant to deflect the topic and a expected rely have been removed. 

[DrJack54]

40 minutes ago, Chris.B said:

If the Op pays maintenance towards the child, then why should the wife be uncooperative?

 

There are numerous examples of uncooperative mother making access to child difficult.

Even more so if they live in the boonies. The village folk can make life difficult.

Sometimes the opposite is the case and mother happy to place child in father's care.

Check out divorce forum for some colourful reading. 

[FritsSikkink]

3 minutes ago, DrJack54 said:

The village folk can make life difficult.

 

Only if you let them.

[spidermike007]

3 hours ago, FridgeMagnet1 said:

Really, how? 

There are agents who arrange that. Also many corrupt immigration agents and offices. Very common here. 

[FridgeMagnet1]

17 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

There are agents who arrange that. Also many corrupt immigration agents and offices. Very common here. 

Not that common. I’ve tried many agents over the years and WP is always “impossible” 

 

 

[VocalNeal]

4 hours ago, FridgeMagnet1 said:

Really, how? 

I guess it depends on your skill set?

[zarman]

12 hours ago, ubonjoe said:

I assume you are on a extension of stay issued by immigration not a non-o visa issued by a embassy or consulate.

You could apply for a one year extension of stay  based upon being the parent of Thai.

Most offices will accept the application if you have joint custody of your child.

Yes, that's correct.

 

I looked into it and that seems like the go to option.

Thank you.

[zarman]

12 hours ago, DrJack54 said:

OP how old are you. Asking as to how long before you can obtain extensions based on retirement.

You could look into PE visa. 

There is also marriage/divorce forum and you might obtain general advice/support there.

Not just about visa options.

If the wife is uncooperative re shared custody then it's an uphill battle. 

I'm in my 30's. Not planning on retiring here, even though it's far away for me.

Thanks for the advice on the alternative forum.

 

It's 50/50 as to whether she'll be cooperative or not. We'll see in the next few days. This bombshell was dropped on me this morning, so it's gonna take awhile to come to terms with it and figure things out.

 

Thank you.

[daveAustin]

Sorry to hear that. 
Pretty sure you’ll need paper from court regards custody to be able to use that method to extend. Don’t think merely being on birth cert is enough. 
All the best. 

 

[ChaiyaTH]

13 hours ago, Chris.B said:

If the Op pays maintenance towards the child, then why should the wife be uncooperative?

 

I pay everything for my child and son, yet she does not cooperate at all. I know plenty of stories where this is the case, even after the wife already became a millionaire in USD.

 

Often those women are narcissists, something that seems to be around here a lot, perhaps due to the way they were raised. Plenty of other reasons or just simply pure evil too.

Edited January 24, 2022 by ChaiyaTH

[ChaiyaTH]

13 minutes ago, daveAustin said:

Sorry to hear that. 
Pretty sure you’ll need paper from court regards custody to be able to use that method to extend. Don’t think merely being on birth cert is enough. All the best. 

 

Yeah I use this method of a visa too, they always need various papers including the birth certificate but also from the mother. So I wonder too how that would be possible unless having court papers with custody, and before that is arranged can take years too.

 

Even only the birth certificate would do, try and be the one who still owns it, there is only one.

Edited January 24, 2022 by ChaiyaTH

[ChaiyaTH]

2 hours ago, zarman said:

I'm in my 30's. Not planning on retiring here, even though it's far away for me.

Thanks for the advice on the alternative forum.

 

It's 50/50 as to whether she'll be cooperative or not. We'll see in the next few days. This bombshell was dropped on me this morning, so it's gonna take awhile to come to terms with it and figure things out.

Wish you all the best, I had made a very decent proposal at the time where I would pay all for my son as well would still help her out for a year until she figured what she would want to do. Then she initially agreed, to then not stick to it, then stick to it again etc etc. 

I did simply solve the visa issue by using an agent tho, plenty of ways to get that part sorted. As of this very moment, I am still dealing almost daily with the drama she keeps causing. 

Try to keep your head calm, I know how hard it is. Feel free to PM me.

Edited January 24, 2022 by ChaiyaTH

[XJPSX]

13 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

There are agents who arrange that. Also many corrupt immigration agents and offices. Very common here. 

I have had a work permit here for 10 years and seeing how much documentation the company has to present I can imagine how many hands would have to be greased to get this through.

i also had to pull out all of my degrees and job history to justify issuing my permit. They even cross checked a few!

Has to be an easier cheaper way.

[rct99q]

Sorry to hear the news. Just on a side note, I would make sure you have your hands on your child's paperwork (originals, not copies). Give  copies to the wife. 

 

Birth certificate

Passport

ID Card

School document's 

Dentist /Medical records 

 

Etc.

 

I keep control of all of these and can access quickly.  One never knows. I know in my situation it would be a cold day in Hell my daughter would stay with her mother. 

 

However possible during this trying time, try and keep custody (physical) of your child. If you end up moving out etc, take them with you.  I have given up a few good jobs to be with my child. 

 

Good luck, and stay calm.

[DTL2014]

my friend got joint custody but he had to do a paternity test and register the child as his  at local govt office.

[ChaiyaTH]

5 minutes ago, DTL2014 said:

my friend got joint custody but he had to do a paternity test and register the child as his  at local govt office.

Even without the mother to agree on that / not married? Wonder how long those tests are valid for and if you need to bring the child in person or wether bringing a swab or piece of hair etc.

 

I did do some online DNA test where you provide the samples and ship them but already read up to that this is not good enough for family court (this was just to be sure he was mine).

Edited January 25, 2022 by ChaiyaTH

[Lacessit]

Find out what her expectations are in terms of support for her and the child. See a lawyer.

[DrJack54]

16 minutes ago, rct99q said:

One never knows. I know in my situation it would be a cold day in Hell my daughter would stay with her mother. 

Another farang that thinks he is a sheriff.

Think you will find, custody wise that the mother is generally in the driver's seat.

 

 

Edited January 25, 2022 by DrJack54

[BritManToo]

4 hours ago, ChaiyaTH said:

I pay everything for my child and son, yet she does not cooperate at all. I know plenty of stories where this is the case, even after the wife already became a millionaire in USD.

 

Often those women are narcissists, something that seems to be around here a lot, perhaps due to the way they were raised. Plenty of other reasons or just simply pure evil too.

So stop paying util she's completely co-operative.

If she doesn't change, at least you're financially better off.

 

[ChaiyaTH]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

So stop paying util she's completely co-operative.

If she doesn't change, at least you're financially better off.

I love to pay for my son tho, not paying her. Only in the initial phase for 12 months and supporting in rent, so my son doesn't live in a cracky apartment and has his own room / space to play. Do pay for all his cost, interschool, whatever. 

But yeah, the next steps are quite heavy and cost a lot. Would prefer that to be the last resort. Might try for a while in between cutting all funds, to see if that changes a thing.

Edited January 25, 2022 by ChaiyaTH

[Freddy42OZ]

8 hours ago, zarman said:

I'm in my 30's. Not planning on retiring here, even though it's far away for me.

Thanks for the advice on the alternative forum.

 

It's 50/50 as to whether she'll be cooperative or not. We'll see in the next few days. This bombshell was dropped on me this morning, so it's gonna take awhile to come to terms with it and figure things out.

 

Thank you.

 

All I can say is best of luck.  I hope things work out in a way that is good for everyone involved.